I wasn't sure when I would start feeling like myself again.

As if I would know what that meant now.

Damien assured me that all I had was time.

But I didn't. I didn't have time. I wanted to see my parents again - I wanted to go back to my life.

I wanted to put everything that happened in the Underworld behind me.

Damien took me for a walk a couple of days later.

I didn't want to stay in the room any longer.

I still needed some reassurance as I walked through the halls - that everything was real and still there. I held on to Damien's hand or touched the pillars of the halls as we passed them.

Eventually we made it to the royal gardens.

I realized immediately as soon as we arrived how ancient the Royal Gardens really were.

Everything moved but didn't.

The trees were bursting with life - it wasn't just the sprites I'd seen before.

The garden was alive.

It breathed and teemed and flowed and ebbed - it was extraordinary. I could see life within the bark of the trees around me. A haze had been lifted. It sang to me. It was entrancing and haunting and breathtakingly beautiful.

I'd never felt anything like it.

Before, the garden only had ancient trees with mighty large trunks rooted to the ground. Now, they were bursting with energy, life and light. It was brimming with old life - its energy running through it from the leaves, to the roots in the ground to the soil around it.

I was mesmerized as I watched the energy course through the tree like tiny colorful ants running up and down the bark.

I stood closer to it - I needed to feel it beneath my fingers. I needed to touch it.

"What do you see?" Damien breathed.

I didn't even notice that he was watching me as I approached the tree, touched it and closed my eyes to hear its song.

"All of it," I whispered. "Can't you hear it?"

"You and I have very different powers."

I breathed in the frosty air and when I opened my eyes again, Damien had stepped away giving me space.

I finally tore myself away from it.

I had to ask the question again. I needed the reassurance. I didn't face him as I asked him for what must have been the twentieth time since I was awake. "Is Robyn really dead?"

"Yes." He didn't hesitate.

I swallowed. "What happened that night? The night of the party?"

At first, I thought he hadn't heard me. For a second, I thought maybe the wind carried my voice.

It wasn't until I turned to him that I saw that he was struggling. Struggling to decide whether to tell me some of it or struggling to tell me the whole truth, I wasn't sure.

I turned to him fully. "No more secrets."

He looked at me. I couldn't tell what he was thinking. But I could see what the weeks had done to him.

I was too swallowed up in my grief to notice his.

While he didn't have any dramatic physical changes like I had - I couldn't even recognize my hollow face in the mirror - he was beat down. His shoulders slumped for the first time since his father passed away. The cocky smile disappeared from his face. Now, he was just worried.

He nodded. "No more secrets."

After a moment, he finally spoke. "No one really saw it coming. We weren't sure what happened at first. The moment he took you, I almost threw myself on his Executioner ready to tear him limb from limb to find where you were. Then we realized he was gone too. He disappeared along with the two of you." He sighed. "We tried to follow your trail - Kymra used everything she could to follow both of you but - he was good. We couldn't trace you anywhere." He sat on a small bench nearby and looked at his hands. "The Executioner killed four of my men from the Guard." I watched him swallow. "Po, Yazel, Rae and Jax."

I looked away, I couldn't look at him. "D-Did I-?" I couldn't even finish the question.

He shook his head, knowing what I was about to ask. "You only evaded. You pushed back. It's not in your nature to kill." His lip quirked slightly upwards. "Light faes are peacekeepers. And knowing you, Em, I don't think you have it in you."

He continued. "We had no idea what to do. We didn't know where you went, who he was allied with." He groaned, running a hand over his face. "Robyn and his Executioner released some of the prisoners in the dungeon. They kept us busy for days, tracking them down putting them back. Some had been imprisoned for centuries - they had magic that overwhelmed some of the guards. I had to help them while Kymra tried to track you down." He rubbed his face as if thinking of that night caused his exhaustion. "I was ready to tear everything down brick by brick to try and find you." He scoffed but gave a short laugh. "Leah made some sense in all of it. She kept saying we had to keep a unified front for the people, keep to the plan, get married on schedule so no one would suspect a coup."

Leah. This was the first time he'd mentioned her.

She tried to kill me.

"Oren agreed with her - I think he mostly wanted to keep me away from the fight to keep me safe. Kymra wanted to murder her for saying that. The Blood Moon was far enough away that we could still buy time - we could postpone by a couple of days."

I swallowed, remembering what happened the day after the party. I'd heard the wedding bells from the lonely manor in the mountains.

He sighed. "We searched and searched and searched. I even went to the other queendoms looking for you. Nothing. Not even a whisper. It was just a matter of waiting for him to attack again." He ran a hand through his hair. "I'd never been so scared in my entire life. I was losing my mind spending my power going all over the queendoms still searching." He looked at me. "Then I heard from Julian."

I frowned. His name wasn't familiar.

"He'd heard there were secret meetings happening in the mountains with the Alteazor." He looked at me pointedly. "I never met anyone in the mountains which only meant one thing."

I nodded. "Robyn."

He also nodded his head. "He was rallying followers - both fae and not to follow him and you." He sighed. "You're powerful, Em. And faes follow power. It's in our nature. And as his Queen - well," he laughed and placed a hand behind his neck. "You'd easily wipe out anyone that contested his claim." He shook his head. "Julian joined the meeting - when he heard about you he was more than willing to hand his soldiers, his land everything over to Robyn. Until he saw you." He snarled. "He saw you broken, beaten, a ghost of a person and he knew he had to get you out. A broken fae has weak magic. If Robyn was made King again and our enemies saw you." He paused. "We'd be ripe for an invasion by any other queendom - any other court. There could be another coup, chaos. And it would overwhelm you and we would fall. They'd slaughter us. Robyn was careless. He was power hungry - desperate to be king again. He didn't care. So Julian came to me and gave me the information I needed to get you out."

Looking away at the trees, I whispered, "I guess I need to thank him."

He took a deep breath. "When we marched on the house - when I saw you." I watched his throat bob. "When I saw you small, weak, skinny like you hadn't seen the sun in months- I was going to kill him. Uncle or not, I was going to kill him for what he did to you. I would paint the walls with his blood."

When he didn't continue I spoke. "You died." It wasn't a question.

After what seemed like an eternity he nodded. "Yes."

I took a breath. I lost him but he came back.

He was back. He was here. This wasn't a dream.

"I was afraid to tell you."

I nodded. "I understand." After another moment. "What brought you back?"

He chuckled and turned his violet his towards me. "You did."

I frowned. "How?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. All I know is I felt the dagger in me-"

I winced remembering the way his eyes stared at me in terror as Robyn dug the dagger deep into his heart.

"And I was dead. I wasn't there with you anymore I was floating - it's hard to explain." He clicked his tongue and looked away. "The next thing I knew I was awake. I just woke up. You were there draped over me, sleeping, your cheeks wet with tears - like you'd been crying over me. You were glowing."

I turned to him and raised an eyebrow.

He walked over to me and took my hand with one hand and hovered the other over it. I watched him as he looked at my hand. His violet eyes were shining in bewilderment. "Your skin was warm, it had its own light - a light that was within your skin. I'd never seen anything like it. You were shining like a star. It was beautiful." He chuckled. "Lady of Elendil indeed."

I felt my cheeks warm as he continued.

"I watched it fade and then turn back to normal. It was like you had released all of your magic. It completely drained you, you were knocked out for days. Kymra said it was a sort of magic sleep where you were just rebuilding yourself. When I looked around the room, I found Robyn. He was dead."

We were closer now much closer than we'd been in a long time. I looked up to meet his eyes as he watched my hand. "Just dead?"

He nodded, not looking way. "Desiccated, shriveled up, his face contorted in a scream."

I swallowed. "How?"

Damien shrugged and looked at me. "We don't know. I think you may have done that."

I blanched.

"Whatever power you used to bring me back took the life from his body."

I didn't even feel bad.

I was ... relieved.

"So it's over?"

Damien let me go and ran a hand through his hair. "Well, yes and no. We have questions for you but your main job is to heal. Take whatever time you need, Blackdown Keep is your home now. I have to deal with the traitors Julian saw and the ones that have eluded capture so far." He grumbled. "I'll deal with them soon enough - no doubt they've already heard of Robyn's death and tried to take refuge in other Queendom." He chuckled. "They will be more than happy to hand over traitors. They can't resist a good bloodbath."

Again, no regret.

He sighed. "We arrested the Magister. Oren found that he'd been working with Robyn all along. He didn't take the Mark away like he said he had - he had taken away the physical manifestation - the magic was still there. All Robyn had to do was call on the Magic and he was able to control you. He dropped the wards the night Robyn's Executioner entered your room - he let him enter your room." I watched as his fists clenched. "He used him to infiltrate the castle, plant him so that he could get into the dungeons and release the prisoners, then eventually help take you away when the time came."

I looked at him brows furrowed. "Why inside the dungeons?"

"It's a failsafe should there ever be an invasion. The dungeon can only be opened from inside. The guards inside are the only ones with the magic necessary to release prisoners. The Magister gave him what was necessary to do that. We still don't know how." He groaned in exhaustion again. "It was a mess."

My mouth was dry. "He did it for his children."

He raised an eyebrow.

"Your father took away the human children he would experiment on - Robyn's promised him children again. So he can start his experiments again."

Damien frowned in disgust.

"Azazeal is one of them," I continued. "I think whatever he did to him turned him into what he is today. He's harmless unless he's given an order."

Damien scoffed. "He's hardly harmless."

I shrugged my shoulders. "He never touched me. He didn't look at me - not once while I was taken. He wouldn't do anything unless Robyn commanded it. Robyn was probably the one that told him to kill Mia."

And it was true. If I ever saw him he was standing nearby watchful. Even as the last days approached.

Damien didn't say anything else about the subject.

"Leah tried to poison me."

Damien turned to me, frowning. "What?"

"He said that she gave me the potion thinking it was faerie wine. I guess he knew that she was one of the people I'd accept a drink from."

He chuckled wryly. "Faerie wine is poisonous to humans."

I shrugged and looked away. "Apparently."

I could see the anger brimming beneath the surface.

"I'm not surprised," I only said. "Since she was the one that terrorized me as a teenager."

"What?"

"She's the one that would get the other kids to taunt me, bully me -break my glasses, toss my books in the mud-"

"Gods." He sounded pained.

I finally looked at him. He did look pained.

His eyes were soft, his lips twisted in disgust. "Why didn't you tell me?"

I shrugged again as I walked away making my way to the trees again. "It was the first time since your father passed away that you looked remotely interested in anything."

I heard his feet step closer. "Emylin-"

"You seemed happy and she was sorry for it all so-" I shrugged again. "I guess I was wrong."

"Come here," he growled and tugged on my arm. I spun towards him as he tugged and trapped me in a massive hug.

Instinctively, I held him back. His cheek rested on the top of my head, his arms enveloped around my shoulders tightly.

He was gentle and kind and so Damien that I was sure my heart would burst. That he'd hear it about to burst from my chest or hammer against my rib cage. I could feel the love and affection between us stronger than ever.

My core steeled. A feeling of purpose resounded in me. I'd protect this with everything I had.

I'd protect myself, my family, Damien. I wouldn't be weak anymore. I'd fight. I'd do anything to prevent it from happening again.

Whatever happened.

"I'm sorry your wife isn't the person you thought she was."

He chuckled. "My wife?"

I nodded. "I heard the wedding bells the next day." I looked up at him. "I heard you were married."

He shook his head. "The Magister told us he made everything up." He tucked a lose hair behind my ear. "The Blood Moon was a ruse to keep me distracted. As soon as I found out I called the whole thing off."

I could feel my cheeks warm. "So you're not married?"

He shook his head again. "No, I'm not."

I felt as if my heart started doing backflips in my chest.

He cleared his throat. "I will need to talk to Leah about her involvement in giving you that wine though." He sighed. "Robyn wasn't kidding about your title. It was meant to protect you." He let me go. "It's the highest outside of the Royal Family - an offense against you is an offense against me." His posture stiffened. "I will not take this lightly."

"Are you going to kill her?"

He sighed. "I won't not consider it. I will need the truth from her first. It will not be easy." He grabbed my hand. "I'll take you to your room while I do this."

I shook my head. "No. I want to be there."

He frowned. "Are you sure?"

I felt that determination steel in me again. "Yes."

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