Taehyung felt like drowning in Jeongguk's eyes as they now sat down on his bed, facing each other. The only light source was still the simple yellowish hue of Taehyung's table lamp and the moonshine from outside. Jeongguk looked beautiful in this light. He always looks beautiful.

"I had no choice..." Jeongguk began, Taehyung's heartbeat quickening.

This it it, the moment he has been waiting for so long.

Jeongguk chuckled dryly at a thought, the sound making Taehyung nervous for no reason. "Actually, I had a choice, but I was too selfish, I.." He made a small pause, biting his lip as he tried to make sense of his thoughts.

Taehyung gave him a reassuring look, smiling lightly. "Take your time, I'm listening." He didn't want Jeongguk to rush anything, but he was still very impatient at the moment, feeling like his throat was getting tighter and tighter every passing second of Jeongguk saying no word.

Jeongguk silently thanked the younger with a small smile back. He didn't know how to start, drop the big bomb and just go? Keep the bomb till the end and then drop it?

"Just know, I never intended to hurt you, I never wanted to leave you. I'm so sorry things turned this way, it's just... my parents wanted to move out of town because... of you?" Okay, let's keep the bomb until the end and then drop it. For the meantime we are going to confuse Taehyung a little.

"What do you mean because of me?" Taehyung asked confused.

"Listen... it'll make sense in the end.." His own heart was beating so fast. "I had a choice. Move with my parents to Busan and never see you again or stay in Seoul, but break off the contact with you and your mom."

Taehyung stared at Jeongguk. "What?" He asked, rather unbelieving.

"I know.." Jeongguk felt so miserable about the situation. "I could've left and said goodbye properly, but I acted selfish."

Taehyung still couldn't follow.

"I couldn't bear the thought of not seeing you, Tae. I rather wanted to have you close and see you, but not being able to be with you than never see you again in person. I'm so sorry.." Jeongguk mumbled, Taehyung's heartbeat drowning his brain now.

"B-but why? Why did your parents.. because of me? I don't get it."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It was all my fault, because.."

Drop the bomb.

Come on, Jeon.

"I caught feelings for you and my parents didn't like that."

Jeongguk watched Taehyung's eyes double in size, saw how his breath turned erratic from one of the other moment in disbelief. "What?" he whispered.

Jeongguk sighed, prying his eyes away from the blond. "I never told you I liked boys, because of my parents. But they noticed that we got too close and that I was starting to develop feelings. Their homophobic mindset... they thought it was a phase, so they insisted to leave Seoul to get me away from you.."

Taehyung was speechless, his chest heaving up and down erratically, head spinning, hands shaking.

"And I didn't want to leave obviously.. So they said we'll move houses and not tell you or your mom about it and I had to stop talking to you — and I tried my best to forget you, bullied you, treated you like shit, but I felt like a monster inside for doing that. I thought this way you'd also start ignoring me, so that I knew you moved on. But I only hurt you. You don't deserve any of the things I did and I meant nothing I ever said to you. You're amazing, Tae. You—

"Shut up." Taehyung interrupted him, teeth gritted, but not out of anger. Rather to suppress his tears. "All this time, you..."

"I wished for nothing more but to be with you" Jeongguk continued, watching closely as a sole tear slid down Taehyung's cheek.

"You're such an asshole," Taehyung scoffed, wiping that tear away. "I thought you hated me, I thought I did something wrong, I thought it was my fault! I was so mad at you and I wanted to hate you, so much!" He wanted to hit Jeongguk, just to let out the pent up frustration he felt right now. "You asshole had feelings for me?!"

Jeongguk wasn't sure if he should laugh or be scared. Either way, he knows Taehyung had every right to be pissed at him.

"I'm sorry.."

Taehyung looked up to to again. "Since when?"

Jeongguk cleared his throat. He never expected to confess his feelings this way. Hell, he never even thought it was going to come to this point. "A few years?" Six to be exact. Well, six since Jeongguk noticed it. They were still kids at that time, but Jeongguk knew Taehyung was way more than just a friend to him. 14 years and already head over heals in love.

Taehyung's breathing quickened. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Our friendship, my parents... Also you had a crush on that Minho guy for two years, confessing had been a bad idea during that time," Jeongguk chuckled.

Taehyung remembered that and cringed. "We don't talk about that," he spoke, slowly calming down.

A short silence followed, giving him time to comprehend what just happened. "Do.. you still have feelings for me?"

The question cut through the room like a sword through fabric, now lingering in the air. Jeongguk's eyes locked with Taehyung's, it was clear he was hesitant with what he wanted to say, or rather nervous, scared. "They were never gone."

Taehyung felt his heart skip a beat, before it continued to get quicker again. "Really?"

Jeongguk still liked him.

Taehyung fought the urge to throw himself into Jeongguk's arms, so close until their lips touched and they kiss.

Jeongguk hummed. "I don't want to listen to my parents anymore. I miss you— God, You don't know how much I've been missing you this whole time. Seeing you in school had me fight all urges to go up to you and enclose you in my arms everyday. I've been dying to tell

you the truth and I'm so sorry I never did. Now.. I'm tired of fighting... I don't care about what my parents want, they only care about my education and success, wether I'm alright doesn't scratch them the slightest."

The way he had his teeth gritted in anger while saying these words has Taehyung wanting to hug him again and tell him that it's alright. But what can he do? He felt miserable. Jeongguk's been struggling at home with his homophobic parents and Taehyung didn't know about it. "You don't deserved that.."

"No one does," Jeongguk smiled lightly, but there was something hidden in the depth of his eyes that Taehyung wished he knew about. He didn't say anything though, not wanting to ruin the moment. Jeongguk would tell him if he wanted.

Jeongguk reached out for Taehyung's hand, the younger letting him gladly take it in his gentle hold. "It was dumb of me to think I could keep up with this act."

Taehyung scooted closer. "Why?"

Jeongguk's eyes wandered down to where he was holding Taehyung's hand. "Being away from you just made me want you even more. Everyday... I felt like it was getting harder to stay away from you, but what scared me more was you slipping away. You were distancing yourself from me and I knew I deserved it and it was even what I wanted. I had no right to feel sad about it, but I did. It scared me. I felt like I was completely loosing you.."

Taehyung began chewing on his lip, "Maybe because I tried to hate you.. like I really tried to convince myself that I hated you."

"And did you ever?" Jeongguk questioned, to which Taehyung shook his head. "I wanted though. I wanted to hate you because I thought this way it would be easier for me to cope with it, but.."

Taehyung's cheeks tinted pink, as his eyes wandered down to his and Jeongguk's hands again.

"But?" Jeongguk asked, voice low and expecting.

"The more I tried to hate you, the more I started to like you... romantically," Taehyung admitted, wanting to bury himself under the blankets of the bed. Jeongguk's lips formed a smile and Taehyung wanted to cry out in embarrassment. "Don't look at me like that."

"Like what, hmm?"

Taehyung huffed. "Forget what I just said," he mumbled, trying to pull his hand away from Jeongguk, who held tightly onto it.

"Never," Jeongguk retorted, then pulled Taehyung to his chest. The blond froze for a second, but relaxed right after, getting consumed by the feeling of Jeongguk's chest under him. He closed his eyes, loving this feeling of being tucked under the ravenette's chin.

Jeongguk felt like the luckiest man alive, having his best friend and the boy he loves back in his arms.

Yet, there was something he didn't know how to tell Taehyung, something that quiet worried him a little.

He has no home right now.

"Hey... can I stay over tonight?" He asked warily and Taehyung looked up, half asleep. "I won't let you walk through that rain again. Of course."

"And your mom?"

"We'll explain it to her tomorrow. You know she doesn't mind you staying here," he reassured softly, snuggling closer to Jeongguk, with no intention to ever let go.

"Are you still mad at me?"

"Do I look like I am?" Taehyung smiled lightly, but it died down as he wanted to say something more serious. "Maybe... I'm still a little upset. You could've told me earlier and we could've make it work without your parents finding out, you know? Then we both wouldn't have suffered like this..."

"I'm sorry," Jeongguk whispered, knowing really well that simple words could never straighten the biggest mistake of his life.

"It's okay.." Taehyung whispered back, sleep catching up on him. "Are you tired?"

"Hmm," Jeongguk hummed. Taehyung smiled by the vibration against his cheek. "I think we should sleep."

"Hmm," Jeongguk hummed again. He dreaded the thought of letting Taehyung go though, wanting to keep him like this forever. "Stay like this just a minute more.."

Taehyung blushed. "I'll definitely fall asleep within that minute."

"What's stopping you. I'll take care of you," Taehyung's insides warmed up and he chuckled warmly. "I know you will," he whispered, slowly sitting up. "We have school tomorrow and the way it seems, we have to wake up earlier and get your stuff first," Taehyung smiled softly.

And Jeongguk's smile dropped completely, his jaw tightening a little by the thought of going back. He wasn't going to ruin this moment though, not today. He will tell Taehyung about it tomorrow.

"You're right, let's sleep."

FINALLLYYYYYYYYY