Jeongguk felt awkward standing in front of the Kims' house, with Taehyung sleeping in his arms while waiting for someone to open up the door.

There was nothing he could do though, he couldn't move his heart to wake Taehyung up and obviously, if he doesn't wake him, someone has to carry him inside and he knows Ms Kim wouldn't be able to do that. Or that's just a lame excuse, because he actually loves the feeling of having Taehyung in his arms, snuggling against his chest.

The door opened and a tired Hana stood on the porch, having wrapped a bathrobe over her pajamas. Once she seemed to realize the situation her eyes widened though. "Jeongguk? Why are you?" She looked at horror to Taehyung, taking a step forward. "What happened?"

"He... fell asleep and I thought I bring him home," he explained and she nodded, still a little shocked.

"Of course.. come in, bub. Bring him to his room"

Jeongguk's heart fell a little by the nickname, still not deeming himself to be worthy of her forgiveness.

He then stepped inside, making sure to be careful to not wake Taehyung up while walking up the stairs. And the more steps he took, the more did his heart speed up and the more memories of the best years in his life flooded his mind.

It's been a year since he was on the second floor, but everything still looked the same and he wondered how Taehyung's room was going to look like now.

Finding the door, he didn't know why his heart suddenly felt so heavy. Okay, yes he maybe had a hunch of why. Carefully, he managed to open the door and walk into the room. He stopped midway for a few seconds. Besides that the position of the bed and the closet were switched, nothing has changed from how Jeongguk memorized Taehyung's room to look like.

Slowly, he walked to the bed, carefully letting the younger boy down on the soft mattress, making sure he was laying comfortably. He undressed Taehyung off his shoes, letting him keep his hoodie on and covered him with the blanket. I mean, he would also dress him into his pajamas, but he didn't find himself worthy for that position currently.

And then... he just looked. While his heart beat was almost drowning all of his senses, his eyes worked perfectly. He watched Taehyung's adorable sleeping face for a while more, but wasn't sure if his heart would be able to take more, which is why he quickly looked away.

A small smile touched his lips.

He doesn't know what is going to follow when Taehyung wakes up. Things will get awkward for sure and knowing the blond, he will either pretend like nothing special happened and keeps his feelings and thoughts to himself and starts ignoring Jeongguk, or he lashes out on him again and confronts him.

Either way, Jeongguk was not going to leave.

Not again, not anymore.

A soft knock caught his attention and he turned around to see Ms Kim leaning against the door frame with a fond smile on her lips. "What happened at the party?" She asked, as she walked into the room, looking down to her sleeping son. "He looks exhausted."

Jeongguk sighed. "We had a fight." So much more than that happened.

She hummed. "I see.." Her eyes drifted to Jeongguk's. "And you're leaving now?"

The ravenette quickly nodded, although he didn't want to leave. If he could he would never go back, the way this house makes him feel more like home than his actual home does, has his inner child want to cry in happiness. "Yes, I probably should."

Hana hummed again.

Jeongguk wasn't sure what she was thinking or what she was feeling. She could be mad, seeing by her court responses. Otherwise she seems to think about something.

"Do you really want to leave? You know you can stay if you want."

Jeongguk's heart jumped and began beating in his throat. He wanted. He wanted to stay so badly. He had no right to, though. "I.. Thank you, but I don't think Taehyung would like me here."

Ms Kim smiled. "You haven't changed at all, you were always so thoughtful."

Oh, if she just knew how Jeongguk treated Taehyung in school, she wouldn't have said that.

"So wanna stay?"

"I really—

"Jeongguk. I know you want to stay," she spoke, her voice softening.

Jeongguk looked at her, then to Taehyung. "It's not easy.."

"Being in love?"

Jeongguk's eyes widened, his head instantly shooting to Hana's direction. "What? N-no!"

She chuckled, shrugging. "Nevermind, I just thought there was something in the air. Do you want tea?"

Jeongguk sighed, a soft smile forming on his lips. "You act like everything is fine."

Hana smiled back. "It is, isn't it? Look, Taehyung and you are taking steps forward."

Jeongguk scoffed. "I don't know what you're seeing, but there's no step forward—

"I mean... you're standing in his room and drove him home and even carried him to bed, put his shoes off, covered him with a blanket and then stared at him for a while... a week ago you didn't even talk to each other," she pointed out the obvious, supporting it with a shrug of her shoulders.

Jeongguk thought a little. Yes, there were more interactions. Intimate ones even, that Hana didn't know of. Yet, he wasn't seeing in which direction it was going and he doesn't know what Taehyung thinks about it either.

He feels as if left stranded on a deserted beach, with no orientation, and still he walks forward and hopes that he will find what he's been searching for.

"My offer still stands. The guest room is free for you if you want to stay. Also, I think we need to talk. So... tea?" She asked with a warm smile.

Jeongguk smiled.

guess who is going to see ateez next thursday