I've always been a bit of a perfectionist, not being able to be completely satisfied with anything I've done- which is also the reason I overthink so much about small things that aren't so significant.

Part of that comes from when how people react to things I do, or when I accomplish something and their reaction isn't what I want, then I begin to think that I've accomplished nothing at all.

It's because I've always relied on others' validation, it's the reassurance that keeps me from falling apart.

Not once have I gone through a day where I don't overthink about something particular just because someone said they didn't like it.

"Where are we going now?" I asked him, walking beside Ronan as I watched the low dim light of the street lamp wash over the center of his features.

It was about eleven pm now, so dark that only small lamps around the city illuminated it.

"It's a surprise." He responds, glancing over to me for only a second before stepping farther in front of me.

Not being able to catch up, I walk faster so I barely could.

"I hate surprises." I state, my slight smile growing into a blank expression.

"What's there to hate?" He questions, walking at a slower pace so I don't have to go as quickly. He walks backward now as he speaks to me.

"I just think that, I like to know what's happening and all of it being something that you aren't aware of is terrifying." I explain.

"Understandable." He agrees.

"Understandable? You're basically admitting I'm right?" The amusement in my voice increasing as I spoke to him.

"Shut up." He smirks, turning so he was walking the same way as I was, not facing me anymore.

"You didn't deny it." I point out, he doesn't say anything after that and I realize we've stopped in front of some field beside the road.

His left hand remains in the pocket of his dress pants as he raises his right up, facing me so the the field was behind him.

"Surprise!" he exclaims with fake amusement risen in his voice.

"This far for a field? There are so many more in Los Angeles." I emphasize the so for dramatic effect.

"I don't give a fuck about LA right now, we're in New York." He replies.

I step forward, squatting down and sitting on the grass.

He sits by me, only a couple centimeters away. I feel my heart beat faster the closer he got.

I glared at the gallery of illuminated dots that filled the dark sky we call stars, like a blanket over us. I sat with my knees up, my face buried in them but still staring at them.

It was strange, how much beauty could be found in those small illuminated dots scattered across the sky. Some brighter than others, while some differentiated in size.

Those were the ones that stood out from the others, no matter in which way they were different.

They created constellations if you observed enough, out of the millions that were included.

I think that's what brought me comfort, those stars that you see every night.

Wherever you went, you could spot them. Didn't matter which country, area or city you were in.

Lifting my head, I glanced over at Ronan once again who was already looking at me.

"They're pretty aren't they?" My irises meet with his light blue ones.

He keeps his gaze on me, "Very."

"Have you ever danced in the middle of a parking lot?" I ask him, catching him off guard.

"Why the fuck would I do that?" He shot back.

"Empty parking lot." I clarify, "like one where there's barely any cars in."

"No." He replies, "That's fucking stupid."

I ignore him, "Well then, you are today." I stand up, looking down at his ring laced fingers, grabbing his wrist and making my way to the empty road.

Turning my head slightly, I lead him to the empty parking lot near us.

Realizing I was grabbing his wrist, I let go abruptly but he still follows.

When I get to the middle of the road, he stands closer to me than he should've been.

I let out a small gasp, moving away slightly. "We don't have any music."

"So?"

"There's no point dancing without music." I continued.

"Then don't." He bluntly states.

I reach into the front pocket of my pants, feeling my phone inside and taking it out.

Scrolling through the music options, I pick one.

The intro to Moonlight on the River by Mac Demarco begins to play.

"Just shut up and give me your hand." I reach my left hand out so he intertwines his with mine without hesitance, his other finds it's way on my waist and my right hand rests on his shoulder.

I feel the warmth of his body radiate against me as I move forward and he moves backward.

My sheer shirt had ridden up so his fingers full of rings made contact with my bare skin, digging into it. I freeze.

"You seem to be like enjoying this quite a lot for someone who questioned this whole thing.", I bring my lips to his ears to whisper.

He doesn't say anything, a corner of his lips tugging upwards.

"You didn't deny it."

"That doesn't change the fact that this has no purpose." He finally replies, almost in a low tone which I barely heard.

His hand makes it's way down to my hips, resting it there. Occasionally moving around that area, but never releasing his hold.

Sometimes his rings would leave marks, instantly fading away after a couple seconds.

After the marks fade, I'll possibly find myself staring and discovering some sort of way to see them even if they've disappeared.

Maybe I'll trace my fingers over the skin where his once was, contemplating if his touch affected him as much as it did to me.

Then, his voice shifts me away from my intrusive thoughts that took over, "Are you okay?"

No.

"I'm fine."

He moves closer so his chin rests at the top of my head.

-

hello:) i don't like this chapter as much as i like the others but it's all i can do right now