Badi kashmakash hain khuda reham kardein,

Ya toh khwab na dikha ya unhe mukamal kardein.....

Dilemma.

I couldn't gather myself after what nabhan did. It was so confusing for me to think straight now. Nabhan really did a good job with my mind.

He threw me in such a struggle and awavering mind. It was such a play for him to do this.

He really need not to do this all in front of everyone. What does he think of himself. He might be any sort of mawali and gunda I won't fear him. I will not lower my head now.

I was a stupid teen girl that time but now I am a woman who know what is wrong and what is right for me.

Still there is this tickle in my heart for him. I know this can pull me in a hell again but I would never repeat my mistake.

Don't know why but for a weird reason my heart was on my palm when he called me love in front of our elders.

But than a part in me says that again this is some of his plan or a way to take me back with him.

Why is he staying here in first place? Don't he have the other places to stay. Ayesha bhabhi would know the answer.

I sat on my bed grabbing the phone and dialled Nadia's number for we exchange our numbers on dawat.

She picked but before I could speak umer bhai's heavy sleepy voice hit the walls of my ears.

I covering my mouth thought of ways to save myself. Clearing my throat I spoke up in low and calm voice.

"Aslamualaikum can I speak to Nadia." He sighed and I heard few shuffling sounds than I heard her voice which was tired and surprised.

"Amaya kaisi ho?" Seh asked I felt bad for disturbing thier sleep.

"I am good..... Erm are you free nadia?" She chuckle before I guess she walked out if the room.

"Yes I am free..... You say everything okay na?"

"Nadia, ayesha free ho toh unhe bhi add karlo." I ignored her question and said.

"Kyu kya hua Amaya nabhan ne kuch kiya kya?" Her voice held tension and anger.

"Usne kya nahi kiya hain Nadia..... Thag gayi hoon mein....." I felt my voice broken by end.

"Ek minute mein ayesha ko bulati ho." Than the call was on hold for about five minutes when I heard a surprised and concerned soft calming voice of ayesha.

"Ayesha yaar...."I whined and heard bangle voices

"Hua kya hain yeh bolo." Nadia asked being the impatient.

"Nabhan ne sar mein dard kardiya unhe wapas bulao na yaha rehkar bas kha rahein sabhko." I complained to hear some shuffled laugh.

"Amaya aisa kyu bol rahi ho?" Nadia asked again.

"Woh keh rahe the ki unhe mujhse dobara nikkah karna hain aur abhi barish mein nach gana bhi kiya hain. Sabh log ke samne..... Phir har baad par meri help karte hain.....mujhe nahi-"I stopped when door was open and walked in the mess himself in my room with two bowls.

"Kise shikayaten karahi hoon meri?" He walked in closing the door with his foot and walked carefully to my bed.

"Nabhan this is really not the time to walk in room of a woman." Ayesha scolded him. He turned to me with arched brows. I glared him hard this time why does he doesn't get affected by my glare and anger.

"I know but this woman is my wife by all laws nahi Amaya?"He replied passing me a bowl. I couldn't help but glare his audacity.

"The wife you abandoned two years four months seven days and five hours ago." There was silent after my words it seemed like everyone were hurt by my words.

"Hmmm......Minutes aur second bhi count karleti. Maafi mangne ke liye mujhe help hojati." Nadia snorted before covering it with cough while nabhan smiled.

"Aap yaha se bahar jayien please. Last warning."He stared me as if my words hit him bad before his expression along with his demeanor changed and I felt that same nabhan which was two years back.

He picked my phone and hang the call before throwing it on the couch. I gasped at his act and stood but hissed sitting back. This bullets will really not let me breath now.

"Don't move or else it will hurt more." He held my wrist and gently let me sit on bed.

"You talking as if you are experienced." I hissed at him.

"Who told I am not." He was confident and I know about what.

"Really...? When? how?" I asked him but cursed at my concern for him.

"I saw a glimpse of my amaya now." We stared each other. It was as if my clock has stopped and ac was off. He came closer to me without breaking the eye contact. My whole body stilled at his touch. I could feel my breath getting shallower.

"Amaya.... Let's fix this all again." He said holding my hands in his. I stared his face with fear and happiness somewhere I was waiting for this time.

"Not possible." I found myself saying him who looked as if he lost a thousand battles at once.

"We will work together this time and I will trust you with all cells of my body." His voice was broken and hurt could be found in his eyes.

"You will but I can't and I don't want to."I moved back and missed his warmth.

"Amaya can we really not talk this all and sort the problem... " His voice really raised some hope in me too but I was too dishearted to hear it all again.

"Problem? What's the problem here?" I argued not wanting him in my personal space.

"Amaya I know okay... I know I did a really huge mistake by not letting you speak but-"

"Nabhan.... That night you didn't let me speak and now I won't let you speak so it's better you walk out before anyone comes." I pushed him away from my bed he stuble but stood on his foot.

"Amaya please.... We had a future together right. Our place is still incomplete let us complete it." I wiped my tears before glaring him who too had tears hmin his eyes.

"We had... And you can get another woman to do that complete." I raised mu voice to see his tears fall for the first time.

"Everyone is waiting for your decision Amaya even your father let's take this all for thier sake." I sighed and calmed myself.

"I did enough for your sake that I don't have power to do for thier sake." I said letting him know that how it feels to be broken and hurt.

"I will give everything you ask to come in my life back.... Give a last chance to prove myself I will never let you fall out Amaya." It really killed me to see him on his knees begging me.

"Nabhan you know what tayijaan says everyday about woman?She says that agar aurat ko waqt mohabbat aitamad aur sabse azeem cheez izzat di jayien na woh jaan desakti hain lekin dokha aur bewafai nahi de sakti." He held my hands which were cold he shivered staring in my eyes

"Amaya I can never know the pain you have gone through but let me heal atleast five percent of it." Ya Allah why is he being so stubborn this night.

"Mene aapko apne nikla mein qabool kiya tha jaise aapne mujhe kiya tha.... Aapne kisi cheez ki kami nahi hone di par abh pata chala aapne toh kuch kiya hi nahi hain. Sirf mohabbat ki hain....." He bowed and fall on my hands. His head was over my hands while he was on floor.

Meri mohabbat mein hi toh aitamad, izzat aur waqt tha. Tumse mohabbat hi ki thi,hain aur karta rahunga Amaya.... Chahe kuch bhi karlo,mein tumhe abh nahi jaane dunga. Galati se seekh li hain mene abh uss galati ko sahi karunga...... Meri itni si madad kardo ki mujhe wapas apna saath dedo ke mein tumhe phirse wahi sabh do par bewafaai aur dhoka nahi doun.for a second I said yes but than his words, his gun pointed at me that whole night flashed in front of my eyes.

"Kitni asaani se aapne keh dala na nabhan lekin asaan nahi hain yaad rakhiye aap." I spoke wiping his tears. The strongest man was on his knees for me. Ya Allah grant him sabr.

"Asaan hona bhi nahi chahiye meri galati ki sazaain asaan nahi honi chahiye. Bas usse sahi karne ke liye tumhara saath chahiye Amaya kardo yaar.... Mere liye nahi toh humare woh lamhat ke khatir." I cried at his words and let him too cry I felt my forehead above his while we cried.

"Kaise trust karlo nabhan ke aap wohi galati dobara nahi karenge? Kaise?" I asked the question which revolved in my mind since he came here.

"Amaya tum apna waqt lena par iss waqt ko haath se bhi nahi jaane dena kyuki agar yeh waqt chala gaya na toh shaayad sirf pachtawa hi reh jaiga."

He stood wiping his tears and was about to stop but still on my broken voice which something that gave hope to him.

"Kal raath ka intazaar karlo. Par jawab se na khush nahi hona yaad rakho ke mein na karne ka haq bhi rakhti hoon."

I smiled when I heard his chuckle as he walked out leaving me in deep dilemma again.

The night was really long with me moon and my thoughts.

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