《Alfaaz》16.Amaya
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Mujhe chu kar ek faqir bola,
Ajeeb laash hain saans bhi leta hain...
Destruction.
A word which says many things in itself. It says that you are no longer living like you did before.
What kills me is this word had did it's work in my life, my whole beautiful life.
Me, nabhan, ayesha, sadiq bhai and everyone. It all came down and mixed with soil.
I never thought my favorite rain will make me Ombrophobia. The rain I wanted to cherish and make that night memorable.
But guess what meri kismat mein aisa kuch tha hi nahi. My fate bought me here where I belong, where I was before.
I really want him to come and again pull me in his arms saying that this all is just prank and I hug him tightly. Never let him go.
My fears had eaten my life, my love, my dreams and me.
Slow tears fell dropped on ground mixing with rain in soil. My clothes clinging to me, hair messed up and falling over my face.
But what death me is him, his actions, his hatred. It all still ringing in my mind every single thing is shattered in pieces. My whole life crumbled down in front of me.
And all I did was listen to nabhan and walked out the house which held our memories.
The hatred nabhan held in his blood shot eyes said that nothing is gonna be like before.
His eyes told how betrayed he felt and I knew this that I am at mistake. He was never gonna come to me. I did this all with my stupidity.
I have never seen him so angry and in rage he was in fury. Eyes held so much hate and anger. He pushed me as if my touch will burn him.
He have his right to punish me, he can never see me but his other love his gun pointed on me killed me. Before he shot my arm.
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I never thought that someone's words call make you numb and lifeless. His bullet touched me but not on arm but heart.
My love, tried to kill me like I wasn't the one he loved, cherished and treated like am his wife or say anything less than a queen of his heart.
His gentle voice, his smile, his stares at night and all the kisses he showered me with came to an end when he entered yelling my name as if I am some sort of enemy of his and all he want is to kill me.
While I wanted to have him in my arms, in my mind, in my blush, in my smile, in shyness everything each and every small emotion of mine wanted him.
It's okay that we parted our ways,am happy with his memories. So what we took separate paths am happy that atleast we walked together be it for a a small time but atleast we met.
I hope that we meet again and have continue from where we stopped our love. I hope phir mulaqath Hogi kahi.
I never will break his heart while walking away. I will smile and accept his decision with all my heart nothing in this world will matter than his happiness.
And there is no power in love which doesn't go through rough phase. I am fine with it that we parted our ways but this doesn't mean everything is ending here it all started now.
I will pray that he finds the whole truth and get me back and I will punch him square on face with a new branded chappal.
But, what about this that he hates me, his eyes, his voice ringing in my mind like a broken record. Wiping my tears I gazed up at the moon which is shining as if happy over someone's reunion.
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Walking to the gate I stopped where it all started,them picking me from the spot I am standing. Oh how it pierced my heart and choked me remembering his threat and game.
I stood over the gate when guards open them. A sob escaped my lips hearing the laughter from the home.
I walked in further numbly, my house, with my ammi, more tears fell when a memory flashed of me baba and ammi sleeping together.
"Oh nabhan I wish you to be with me by my side."Again all I can do is wish now,for his eyes speaked and cleared that he will never come to take me.
I was so lost that I stumbled over dress and fall but someone held me by shoulder I cried in pain and pushed the person.
"Amaya! Yaha kya karahi ho?" I whipped my head to the person and next hugged faris who was confused and shocked.
He wasn't there tonight because he was staying here in my house as tayijaan was here.
"Fa-ris-its all- why he-" I cried hugging him who was still clueless.
I crumble down remembering his words,his love for me was till here. I never thought that it will end here. He should have listen to me he should have given me some time to explain.
"He prom-ised me........that he wi-ll stay with........me he will ne-ver let me go....faaris!" He hugged me tightly and sat down trying to console.
"Faaris it hurts......it burns....it....is killing me.....his hatred will kill me faaris...... Tell him.....tell him to take me......I will never trouble him. Farissss!"
"Farisss!! Tell him na please please fariss......"
"He said it he- faaris I can't yaar usse kaho na tum woh tumhari sunegein. He will- FAARISSS!!!!!!!!" I clenched his collar in my fist yelling and crying over my fate.
I wanted to yell at him, he was everything to me I loved him like I can't.
"Maya....."I glanced ammi who had happy tears oh how I wanted her now. But she can't I won't let her, I betrayed her by loving nabhan. I married him without saying ammi. All of us were Drenched in rain.
"Faaris it's burning me yaar."His eyes held tears with anger he hide my face in his neck hugging me like a big brother.
"Faaris don't go there nabhan need time stay with me help him have some peace faaris......" I don't know why but I really needed a brother.
Ammi came running to me last thing I remember.
*****
Doctor stood at a distance talking to my father while ammi was seated beside me crying happily.
On the other hand tayijaan was crying how stupid she is. Her son is the reason of all this.
Faaris and faarid stood together discussing in hushed voices. While I am seated on bed my bed.
A tear escaped when I remember how ayesha would have console me and say all about the positivity in this chaos.
Ammi handed me a glass of something which I numbly gulped in one go.
"Maya you must be sle-"
"I am not." My voice came out hoarse I felt a tear over my palm I glanced up to see ammi all red with crying her face damp in salt water.
I hugged her tightly silently crying over my fate which bought my ammi cry.
Ya Allah sabr se nawazdein iss ghunegar dill ko jisne apni maa ko rone diye sabr dein malik. Meri madad karein please....
To be continues......
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