Movie night was illuminating. I learned Emmett was extremely ticklish in his ribcage and had an affinity for stealing covers, but there were no more kisses, just comfortable and carefully timed cuddles that I jumped out of when Reed walked in on us again.

"So I guess we should talk about those rumors on the internet about us..."

"Oh, right. Well, I didn't necessarily shut them down like I should have, but it was obvious we're roommates. If they want to put their own spin on it then that's on them but I'm not putting myself in the spotlight, I've already had my name dragged through the mud countless times before, and I'm not ready to revisit that again."

"I totally agree, I don't want you to say anything either, that'll just add fuel to the fire and keep your name in the tabloids even longer. The good news is that- wait, actually there is no good news."

We shared a harsh laugh and it was so easygoing, our personalities meshing so well together. Maybe being a couple in real life wouldn't have been so complicated after all, but I was scared to take that plunge so quickly. I needed to get to know him much better before I thought about anything further than friendship.

Lucas came through the doors halfway through our movie, though, and the mood did a complete one-eighty.

"So this is really a thing, then? Reed told me what he saw the night before but I didn't believe him."

"Lucas, it's not like that. We're just getting to know each other."

He puffed his chest out while Emmett shrunk back into the couch, clearly not wanting to start a fight with his technical landlord.

"I thought I made myself clear, I didn't want you dating Lydia then and I don't want you dating her now."

"Lucas! You can't just dictate my dating life like that. We're not dating, but I'm not closing that door completely in the future. You're my brother and I love that you're so protective of me but I am an adult and I can make my own decisions on who I want to date."

"Yeah, because you've made such great choices before? Remember Christian, Nate?"

Lucas had never spoken to me like that before. He knew what happened with Christian was not consensual.

"How dare you? You know what happened with Christian, and I clearly never chose to date him. You're turning into mom."

"Lydia, wait. I- I didn't mean it like that! I mean that you have clouded judgement when it comes to guys because of him!"

"Maybe you didn't mean it like that but that's how I took it. Maybe that's what you really think deep down, that it was my fault, that I chose to have something like that happen to me. It's okay, because I don't think that and that's all that matters...but if you want to continue being in my life then you need to lose your tendency to think like our mother."

I gave Emmett one last longing glance before I took off to my room.

I put my headphones in and laid down on my bed, fully expecting to lie there in angst for the rest of the night but sleep came surprisingly quick, swallowing me in darkness and pain.

***

The sleepover was just about to start, and I was so excited. Amalia was there, and so was Layla, but this was the first time that we'd been over to Samantha's house. It was huge, to say the least.

She lived in a freaking mansion and every girl in our eighth grade class was desperate to be invited over for a sleepover and we were the lucky three to do just that.

We started out the night by painting our toenails vibrant colors, binge watching cringe worthy rom-coms and gushing about all of our crushes.

We ended the night by prank calling some of the girls in our class and everything was right in the world. I'd go back to school on Monday friends with the most popular girl in school, and nothing could tarnish that.

Too bad my sleeping bag was the closest one to the door.

I felt his hand nudging my shoulder in the middle of the night, and I remembered being infatuated with him because he was Samantha's older brother- immediately crush worthy!

I felt so honored that he'd picked me, until the night dragged on.

I wished I could've forgotten the details- the feeling of his hand on my chest, the strength that surged through him when I tried to squirm away from him.

He pulled me out of the sleeping bag and made me come with him to his room so we could be 'alone'.

He kept telling me that he knew I was enjoying myself, even though I was shaking and crying and continually telling him no.

I sobbed out a little too loudly and Samantha walked in on us, Christian half naked on top of me while I was clearly struggling underneath him- my silk pajama shorts that I'd bought specifically to impress Samantha discarded on the floor while he was working to rid me of my underwear.

I felt so helpless and finally someone was coming to help me.

"Samantha!"

"Ew guys. Just keep it down."

She walked away.

There was an emptiness in her eyes, as if she'd seen her brother do this countless times before. And maybe he had- maybe that was why she had so many girls in school that she 'hated'.

She didn't come to my rescue, so I'd need to do that for myself.

I pushed him off of me with all of my might but he was too strong. He shoved me back down and ripped my shirt open, eliciting a sharp cry of pain out of my mouth.

He smushed his hand over my mouth, silencing me but the sound was enough to wake his parents. I heard their door open downstairs, but I wasn't sure if Christian had.

"Why are you fighting so much? None of her other friends fight me."

I bit down onto his hand, a trickle of blood landing on my tongue making me gag from the taste.

"Christian?"

His mother knocked on the door and I expected the scene to be reminiscent of when Samantha had walked in on us but at the sound of his mother's voice he jumped off of me as if I'd burned him, real fear flashing through his eyes.

"Oh honey what's wrong? Why is there blood..."

I didn't wait for her to finish her sentence as I ran down the stairs and out of that house, not bothering to shut the front door behind me or even grab my shoes.

I sobbed the entire painful walk home, gravel and asphalt biting into my feet less painful than the smudged stain permanently etched onto my young soul.

I tried to go to sleep after Lydia's fight with Lucas but it was almost impossible to stop thinking about her words.

It was clear that she'd been assaulted when she was younger and the trial had gone terribly, and everyone was lying saying that she had been making up the accusation.

I had just started getting to know her, but she was one of the strongest women I'd ever met, which was why when I had heard her screams reverberating through the walls of the house I knew I had to go to her, especially since her brother probably wouldn't be able to comfort her after their fight.

I burst out into the hall only to see Lucas and Reed emerging from their rooms as well, concern painted across their faces.

"I got this one," I told him, a grim expression settling on his features.

"Let me know how she is in the morning."

I gave him a mock salute as they disappeared back into their rooms and I emerged into Lydia's, her body writhing on her bed as screams tore through her body.

I rushed to her to try and wake her gently but she wouldn't snap out of it.

"Lydia!"

Tears slipped down her cheeks and I wanted nothing more than to take her pain and make it my own just so she didn't have to suffer so damn much. She didn't deserve this.

"Wake up, Lydia!"

"Emmett?"

Her voice was groggy and hoarse, tinted with sleep and the agony she'd just endured.

"You were having a nightmare."

"Oh. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake anyone."

"You don't have to apologize. Are you okay?"

She sat up and wiped her eyes on the sleeve of her long sweatshirt. Even in the dead of night illuminated by a dim moonlight she was devastatingly gorgeous.

"Y-yeah, I guess. Thanks for waking me up, I have night terrors and sometimes I can't wake myself up from them."

I knew night terrors, they used to be my only constant friend growing up. They were the only thing I could count on as my mother was in and out of rehab, all alone in my old, frigid house.

I snapped back to Lydia and focused on her in that moment, not wanting to lose myself in those damaging memories.

I stood to go back to my room, remembering what she said about needing to take whatever we were doing slowly, so I wanted to give her some space.

"Wait."

I would've done anything for her that night, so I did just that. I waited. I waited for her to tell me what she needed.

"That first night that you stayed here, I didn't have any night terrors. Do you think you could...stay with me?"

"You'd better scoot over then, I'm not sticking a pillow in between us this time."

I felt her mood change immediately at my response and settled into the bed next to her, her head resting on my shoulder while my arm went around her.

I didn't even care that my arm fell asleep almost immediately, the fact that I could bring her even a little bit of comfort was worth a dead arm.

We slept peacefully and she didn't have a single night terror for the rest of the night.