It was like she was trying to give me a damn heart attack. Dressed in a white lace almost see through lingerie looking tank top with a black jacket over it and the tightest pair of jeans I'd ever seen on any girl, I could feel my eyes popping out of my head as she walked out of her room in her high heels with her new friend in tow.

Dark hair curled to perfection and held hostage in a tight upper ponytail with only a few strands breaking free, all I wanted to do was run my hands through that hair and free it from the rubber band securing it in place.

Reed had to wave his hand in front of my face to force my attention away from the gorgeous woman in front of me. I'd almost wished I hadn't turned her off of me completely with how disgusting I'd acted towards her but when I remembered the reason for doing it I quickly resigned myself to only allowing myself to be around her when I was flirting to 'get my room back' and that would be it.

I couldn't let myself fall for her...no matter how deep my feelings already ran for her.

"Dude, you can't stop staring at her can you?"

I glared at Reed which only caused him to laugh at my disparity.

I pretended to be fixated on fixing the clasp on my watch when her eyes met mine but it was obvious I'd ben staring at her, how could I not?

"Yeah, I'd probably stare at her too if I was straight."

"Then maybe I need to get a guy for you to agonize over so you can feel my pain."

Reed gave me an excruciated look.

"What, you already have one?"

He pulled a hand up to his neck and I could tell he didn't want to talk about it.

"That's fine, I don't have to know but you can talk to me about it if you want."

"Thanks man."

We walked up to the awaiting girls and Lucas finally joined us.

"So, Uber or DD?"

"I can be DD tonight, I'm trying to take Lydia to as many places as possible and I don't want to have to spend a ton of money on rides. We can take my car, I have a ton of room."

"Wait, Amalia, then who is gonna get drunk with me then?"

I let a smirk climb its way onto my face.

"Don't worry, I'll match you shot for shot."

She groaned as a pained expression found its way onto her perfectly sculpted face made even more prominently beautiful by the makeup I'd assumed her friend had made her wear. She didn't need it, though.

"Shotgun!" Lucas ran to the car to get the front seat.

"Don't worry, if there's not enough room we can sit laps," I whispered in Lydia's ear. I expected her to slap me in annoyance because I was totally joking with her, but the shiver that ran through her body at my words and closeness to her took me aback.

Was there a possibility that she was just as affected by me as I was by her?

I let myself ponder the thought on the way to the bar, wishing that the night would end up the way it had in my daydreams: with Lydia falling asleep in my arms.

The music was thumping so loud it was like a second heartbeat, the thunderous back beat a deafening sound that allowed me to imagine it was all just white noise.

I couldn't help but think about the many times I'd come to this very same bar with Nate and all his buddies pretty much every other weekend. He'd get shitfaced and try to get it on with me in our booth in front of everyone at which point I would excuse us and apologize for his behavior.

Was he going to be there, Layla at his hip whispering dirty senseless thoughts in her ear like he used to do with me? Did he guilt her into changing her outfit for him, criticizing every little thing that she did?

Did he say her dress made her look like a slut and that she would embarrass him in front of his friends if she went out like that? Did he pretty much demand a blowjob before going out because she turned him on too much with her slutty outfit and didn't want to have sex because that would mess up her beautiful hair and makeup, when really it was just a tactic to get off without having to do anything?

I shivered at the memories, disturbed by the toxic atmosphere that I'd allowed myself to be immersed in for so long.

Emmett's strong presence was beside me, a concerned look etched into his features.

"You okay?" he yelled over the boom of the music. I nodded, but not convincingly.

"I need a drink," I yelled back and weaved through the throng of people until I realized I needed someone to buy it for me. I didn't turn twenty-one until later in the year.

He appeared beside me once more as I reached the bar, motioning for the bartender.

"Vodka cranberry," I murmured into his ear, my fingertips resting on the side of his arm so I could reach his ear.

I didn't allow myself to register the tingles shooting through me at the slight contact between us, because the second I admitted to myself the feelings budding in my system for Emmett, then that meant that I condoned the misogynistic comments that he made toward me, and I wasn't about to let him think that he could treat me or any woman that way.

He handed me my drink once we were out of view of the bartender. I gave him a little two-fingered salute and pulled the tiny black straw into my mouth while scoping out a small place to sit down and get drunk.

Amelia didn't waste any time and was already up and dancing with a taller guy who looked like he was in his late twenties, but there was a girl beside her that looked like she was trying to edge her way in.

Before I knew it, Amelia shoved the guy out of the way and gave the girl her full attention. This didn't surprise me, she always favored being with girls more than guys no matter how dirty she could talk about the opposite sex.

She spotted me and screamed at me to come dance with her, so I gave in and held my drink up in the air when I wasn't sipping on it and swayed back and forth to the blaring music, allowing the alcohol to seep into my veins.

Once mine was getting low, Emmett was there ready and waiting with a refill and to replace the empty glass.

Amalia danced with me and her mystery girl for a while until she whispered into her ear. She must've asked if I was her girlfriend because of the jealous glances she'd been throwing my way.

Once I was thoroughly danced out, Amalia led us to the booth that I always occupied when I came with Nate and his friends and she brought her dancing partner with her.

"I'm Amalia, this is my best friend Lydia, completely straight...save for a little experimentation one year in high school..." she trailed up forcing a blush directly onto my cheeks.

"Woah, what's this story? Lydia, care to tell it to all of us?"

"No thanks I'm good."

They all laughed at my embarrassment and I cut my eyes to Emmett. Damn, he looked good.

Dark denim jeans and a black t-shirt, he looked incredibly gorgeous in the simplest outfit. He couldn't hold a candle to anyone in the club.

"I'm Marilyn," the new girl told all of us and we greeted her politely. She was stunning, with light brown skin that glowed under the club lights and gorgeous thick braids intricately cascading all around her head.

I swayed a little on my feet and there were his arms, steadying me. I looked around for Lucas and Reed but couldn't find either of them. I let myself lean back on him for a second, just a second of weakness before Amalia's curious stare met mine and I sobered my mind up a bit, forcing myself up and away from his body.

"So, we're bar hopping. Where's the next best place to go?"

"Oh, you have to come out with us to Ocean's. Me and some friends are heading out pretty soon," Amalia's new friend told us.

"Perfect. We'll go grab our people, I'm driving."

"Perfect, we were actually just about to leave until I noticed you."

I'd never seen Amalia get flustered and tongue tied before, but this girl was doing something to her no one else had before.

I was suddenly led away from the table and found myself pushed up against the back of a padded pillar off to the side of the dance floor.

The safe cushion of Emmett's body had left me and I heard shouting off to the right of me, but the loud crashing music and numbing effects of alcohol was taking its toll on me.

I found myself staring up into familiar brown eyes belonging to my old fiancee, a fury in his eyes so terrifying that it brought up a memory I had surely repressed, for I never could have stayed with someone like Nate after what he'd done had I remembered it...could I?

It was late and I had just come home from a girl's night. I was a little tipsy and was wearing an outfit a little too skimpy for Nate's approval, but then again he hadn't been home to see me off.

"What the HELL do you think you're wearing? And why are you coming home so fucking late?"

Nate, calm down. I had a few drinks with Layla and some girls from school. Why are you so mad?"

He pushed me up against the front door of our apartment, the amount of venom and rage barely concealed in his eyes something I'd never seen in him before.

"You know I never would've approved of you going out in something like that."

His hands wound their way around my body and he squeezed me tighter than a python ensnaring its prey in its vice grip.

"Nate. Let me go-"

"No, I'm not letting you go this time."

He attacked my neck with his mouth and I struggled to break free, kneeing him in the balls in the process. He dropped like a sack of potatoes and I locked myself in our room, crying myself to sleep on the floor of our closet.

I pulled myself out of the memory as Emmett's arms yanked Nate's body away from mine and everything came back into sharp reality focus.

I felt the red hot pain of what had happened to me in the past course through my body and looked down upon his weak figure fighting Emmett.

I reared back and slugged my fist across Nate's jaw, possibly breaking my wrist in the process but seeing the spittle flying out of his mouth mixed with the blood I'd drawn was a sweet satisfaction that I'd never elicited from him the entire four long years we'd been together.

"Touch me again, and I'll break your balls. You should know, I've done it before, and I can damn sure do it again."

I swept away from the scene, my head held high but a gnawing ache trembling in my veins reminding me of how weak I actually was.

***

Author's Note:

Sorry for the late update, my baby has had a fever the past 5 days and it finally broke today!!

We were worried she had COVID-19 but her test came back negative!

What has been the worst part of this quarantine for all of you?

What would you like to see happen next in the book?

What do you think will happen next?

How are you liking the book so far? Any plot suggestions? lol

Thank you all for sticking with me my lovely readers!!

Until next time,

Kristen :)