Silence is Suicide.

Chapter Twenty-Three.

I exhaled. The bar was filled with people that look like they were in their mid-twenties or thirties. It seems as if I were the only teenager.

Jeremy looked over at me. He gave me a reassuring smile. His eyes reminded me of an excited child. He began strumming viciously on his guitar. Eddy joined in. I was supposed to start when Pete began to play. Darren started screaming the lyrics into the microphone.

One, two, three, four. One, two three four. One, two, three, four...

Pete started drumming with energy and I strummed with a pick just as Jeremy taught me.

Jeremy's fingers were lightning fast. Eddy jumped and ran around the stage with unimaginable energy. Pete hit the drums as hard as he could. Darren danced around the stage, sweating: and we barely began playing. That's how much effort they put into this. This was their life. This was the beginning of a life I wanted. They put so much energy and effort into what they did. I had to do the same.

I began to jump and play like they did. Jeremy was laughing and ran over to me. He and I played back to back. I laughed too. I was having unimaginable fun. Who would've thought Emerson Scott would be living a dream? Just a fucked up boy who was abused, lost, and now trying to start over.

"...In this fucking darkness, I can still find your light. No matter where you are, I hear your sweet voice. It floods my ears, like a broken dam unable to contain the roaring waters. Just whisper my name, I'll come running there..."

I heard my name... "Emerson..."

I scanned the crowd. Again, "Emerson..." The name drowned into the music.

Who was calling me? Maybe it was just all in my head. After all, everyone was just yelling, screaming, and singing the lyrics. Maybe I thought I heard my name... Emerson..., but it was just everyone blending the lyrics together.

I continued to play. Honestly, I might just be paranoid.

The rest of the show went smoothly. I messed up unnoticeable a few times, but I made it up as I went. It didn't sound too bad.

When our set was over and we finished our encore song, the five of us walked to the bar to order drinks. We sat and listened to the next band play. They were not as prepared as us. They sounded sloppy and the audience didn't give much attention to them.

"Ahhhaa! Emerson! You were fucking amazing!" Jeremy yelled with praise. He was a little buzzed from the alcohol he consumed while playing onstage.

The rest of the guys whooped and hollered. Nuclear Winter ordered their drinks. Jeremy set one down right in front of me.

"Drink up." he said giving me a wink.

"Cheers!" Darren screamed above the obnoxious music. They clinked their glasses together and acted like rowdy teenagers that night. They chugged their drinks and ordered more. I did the same as them. The bitter alcohol burned my throat. I didn't complain. I am one of the guys.

I didn't drink as much as Jeremy, Darren, and Pete. Eddy was deemed Designated Driver and I was, unfortunately underage. I was a little buzzed, but if I woke up the next morning, I would be able to remember every detail of this amazing night.

It was closing time, and we were forced out. They piled into the van; instruments already packed in. We drove to everyone's house.

Pete, who lived on the south side of town, was the first to be let home. He lived the farthest away. Eddy climbed out of the car to help Pete into his house.

When Eddy came back, we headed to Darren's house. He lives on the west side. Darren wasn't as intoxicated as Pete, so he could stumble into his house eventually. We waited in the driveway to make sure he got in.

Then, Eddy drove to Jeremy's apartment. I could walk almost in a straight line, so I could help my brother into the house. Jeremy passed out as soon as he hit the couch. I pulled a blanket over him and walked into the bedroom where I'd lay my own head.

**

A few days later, Jeremy went court to try and receive my full custody. He found out about my--our little sister. Unfortunately, my grandparents got her custody. I would barely be able to see her now. She found out all the things that had happened to me the past few weeks. She didn't realize it was that terribly disgusting. Kimmi and Jeremy got along well; that was the one thing I was grateful for-- their acceptance of each other.

After a tough battle, Jeremy received my custody. He, Ambrosia, and I celebrated afterwords.

That was the last time I'd see my sister and grandparents. They didn't want anything to do with me. Jeremy gave me a new phone so I could still keep in touch with her. Kimmi is still unaware that she might never see me again. My grandparents would rather have it so she'd be oblivious to that fact.

**

About a week later, when I was settled in Jeremy's apartment, Eddy burst through his door.

"Oh my fucking God. Call the guys NOW!" His eyes were wide and he was either excited or extremely upset. I couldn't tell by the tone of his voice.

"Okay, bro. Whatever you say. Just calm the fuck down." Jeremy responded, picking up the phone. He dialed Pete's number and then Darren. They told him they'd be over as soon as possible.

Eddy paced back and forth agonizingly waiting for the two other guys. Darren was the first to show up.

"Okay... what's wrong?" He said slowly, he looked a little concerned.

Eddy continued to pace and didn't look up. He held up a finger, "Wait for Pete."

Pete showed up five long minutes later. "What's going on?" He asked as soon as he reached the landing.

"YOU GUYS WILL NEVER FUCKING GUESS!" Eddy exploded.

The four of us sat on the couch with anticipation. We stared at him, craving for an answer. We all had the same hungry expression.

"Pack your bags, boys... We're going to California!"