Once Jay left I walked into the room to see Jenna dressed. She looked at me, but she didn't flash me a smile as she would. She only looked at me. My eyes focused on the bruise on her cheek. I felt a sharp pain in my heart. It aches for what I did, for what I caused.

"As much as you don't want to hear it, I'm sorry" I said.

She didn't look at me, she grabbed her jacket and purse and walked past me. I followed her into the kitchen where she stopped and turned, looking and facing towards me.

"You're not you, you're not here anymore. The Matt I knew isn't here, and right now I can't stay with you, you laid your hands on me, and it's something I can't tolerate with, if it's once it's more likely to happen again" she said as she made her way to the cabinet.

I knew it was best to let her be. Let her be until I got a grip of myself, but it was hard. I wanted help, but she was walking away.

Why me? I did everything I could do. I've done good. But apparently it wasn't enough. It wasn't enough because my dad is gone, and now my boyfriend is about to lose.

"Jenna, I want what's best for you, but I feel asphyxiated, i feel captive, I feel trap, and if you walk away now, I'll only get worst and I can't watch you walk away from me, I just want you, I want you to stay, if that means getting on my knees and begging then I will, if it means saying sorry a million times a day I will, I will do anything, please don't leave me, please don't go now, please Jenna, please" he said with tears rolling down.

I looked at him in his eyes. Did he mean what he's saying? Did he mean any of it? I wanted so badly to stay with him. To help and to guide him, but I couldn't find a reason to actually stay. I turned towards the garage door and began walking out.

NOTHING in this world hurt more than walking away from him. My eyes filled with tears, my heart shattered into bits, my body felt a huge wave of weakness. What hurts more was; he didn't stop me from walking away. The troubles we went through was a peak, but this was a huge downfall.

I didn't want to stop her, because I knew if I stopped her, she would only hurt more. I knew she'd hate me and herself for letting this happen. I didn't want to force her to stay with me when she didn't want to. Once she left out tears poured out. My heart was completely destroyed. There wasn't a single thing I could think of to make her stay with me. I couldn't find a reason. I hit her, I yelled at her, and she hated me.

I've never felt this low. I dropped to the kitchen floor gripping my long hair and feeling rage. I should've stopped her. I should've held onto her. She needed me, she needed someone to love her for everything. I couldn't throw 10 years of my life with her away, but I knew I couldn't promise anything. I wish this was my last breath. I felt like I was choking on my own tears, and the lump in my throat only free bigger.