《Badly Broken》Chapter 34
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I was a little uncertain as to how I should approach writing in Charlotte's POV since she's only 10. I work with little kids and I've met some 10-year-olds who speak at a 1st grade level and others that are smarter than me and speak with academic words I've never heard of.
So I decided to just write in my normal style.
Kai hung up and I was left to sit alone in my ever-shrinking room, lost in thought. The walls felt like they were closing in and my eyes couldn't focus on anything. My mind was swirling with endless thoughts.
I couldn't process what Kai told me. I have a brother...
No. I had two, but my dad killed one. I didn't want to believe Kai. I wanted to ignore all the things that he told me, but no matter how much I thought of it... It just made sense.
I knew that something was strange after my dad snapped at me that one time, but I just brushed it off. I never, never would have imagined it was something like this.
That even played in my head over and over again. It was all I could see with Kai's voice echoing in the background, describing the horrid things my dad has done.
"Ugh, I know he put it in here somewhere," I muttered to myself as I rummaged through all the dressers in my parents' room.
"Where is it?" I whipped my head around the large room, knowing that my dad had put my phone in here before he left for work this morning.
My eyes zoned in on the nightstand to the right of the large, king-sized bed, "There!" I exclaimed.
I rushed over, knowing my dad would get home soon. I yanked the drawer open and saw the back of my sky blue phone case near the very front of the drawer. I grabbed it and did a small celebratory dance.
When I moved to close the drawer, I noticed something in the back that looked like a wallet. It wasn't my mom's because hers was a lot longer and resembled a hand purse, and my dad's wallet was black. Opposed to that, this one was brown and washed out, cracks covering the small square with white poking through.
My curiosity overtook me so I took it out of the short nightstand and opened it. There was no money inside. I went through the little pocket, everything was empty and half of the slots were completely torn, unattached at the side or bottomless.
What surprised me was when I found a small piece of paper folded in the small pocket hidden inside the third, one of the only ones that did not have torn stitches. I pulled the piece of paper out, still standing while facing the nightstand.
I unfolded it three times until I was looking at a color picture that was heavily pixelated and blurry.
I furrowed my brows as I stared at the younger version of my dad. He had a bright smile on his face and was holding hands with two young boys who looked to both be younger than me.
They all looked fairly similar. The one to the right of my dad was slightly taller than the other boy. He had very dark brown hair with the same hazel eyes as my dad and the smaller boy in the picture. The same eyes as me. He was wearing a red sweatshirt and the other was wearing a black one.
I looked closer at the two boys, they really did look like my dad. Maybe they were part of my extended family.
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I was taking in the whole image until my eyes narrowed in on the smaller boy standing to the left of my dad, holding his hand.
I don't know why, but something about him seemed familiar, I felt like I had seen his face somewhere before.
My mind was chaotic, trying to piece things together. It was on the tip of my tongue. I was on the verge of figuring it out when the bedroom door flew open.
"Charlotte, what are you doing in here?" My dad asked with his thick Korean accent.
I spun around, hiding my phone, the wallet, and the picture behind my back, "N-nothing!" I stuttered.
"Did you come in here to get your phone? Your mom already told you that you'll get it back after dinner," he sighed, placing his briefcase on the bed.
"Sorry," I mumbled.
"Hand it over," he held out his hand waiting for me to give him my phone.
I shuffled the picture and wallet into one hand and kept it behind me as I slowly placed the phone in my dad's palm.
My arm dropped back down to my side as my dad looked at me with a questioning expression, "What's behind your back?"
"Nothing, all I was holding was my phone," the words came out of my mouth too quickly, raising even more suspicions.
"Charlotte, just show me your hands," he pressed.
I hesitantly brought the wallet and picture out from behind my back. The look on my dad's face became hard. His eyes darkened and his smile and kind tone quickly turned into a snarl.
His arm lunged out and he quickly yanked the belongings out of my hand, yelling at me, "Why do you have this!?!?"
"I-I'm sor-sorry. I just found it in the drawer and got curious so I looked inside," I spoke with a small voice, shrinking backward. The man's expression was completely different from before.
This person was not my father, he was a stranger. Someone I've never met, and someone I wish I never did. The look on his face was terrifying.
"Who are you to go through other people's things!?" He seethed, stepping closer to me.
I took a step back, starting to shake.
"Forget about this picture!" My dad demanded.
"Why? What is it?" I asked with a trembling voice. My eyes were wide, fear written all over my face.
"It's none of your business!!" He shouted. "So what you're going to do now," he said more quietly through a clenched jaw, "is forget that you ever saw that picture. You are never going to bring it up again! Do you hear me!?"
"Y-yes."
"You will never bring it up again, you will never ask about that photo, and you will never, ever, mention it to your mother. Do you understand me?"
"Yes," I practically whispered.
"Don't come into this room without permission, next time you won't get to call your friends anymore and you won't be leaving this house!" my dad said as he left me by myself. I collapsed backward onto the nightstand, catching my fall with my hands.
My body was trembling and I was having a hard time breathing. I felt tears prickle my eyes, but I quickly wiped them with my sleeve. I can't leave... like a time out? But the way he said it made it sound a lot scarier than a time out...
Not bothering to close the drawer, I ran out of the bedroom and into my own. I closed the door behind me and jumped under my covers, bringing them up to my face. And I cried. I cried and cried and cried.
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That man... that person, he was not my father. But whoever he is, he's terrifying.
Ever since then I've been wary around him, unsure of who the real Sangtae Yoon is. What secrets is he keeping? And what kind of person is he to make such a scary face?
I avoided my dad as much as I could because I was so scared of him. His face haunts me when I sleep and I can't get the look in his eyes out of my head.
But now it all makes sense. Now everything has been pieced together. The boys in that photo are my half brothers, and the reason my father acted like that upon seeing that photo once again is because he murdered his own child. The only people capable of such atrocities are truly evil.
Now I know that he is dangerous. If he killed his own son, what would he be willing to do to me?
That thought alone was enough to keep me up all night.
The next morning, I was sitting under my fluffy, pink covers with my legs crossed. I couldn't help but chew on my fingernails, biting each one down to the very end of the whites.
Having a brother was unexpected, but finding out that my dad did those... things, it's making me question everything.
I don't have a lot of memories from when I was younger, I just simply can't remember. I keep looking through my memories in an attempt to find something, anything, that shows my dad is as bad as Kai says he is.
There was nothing that pointed toward him being evil, but sometimes... sometimes he really scares me. After that incident, I started noticing more and more strange things in the way my dad acted. We could be at the table eating dinner and his expression would change and his eyes would look black, it gave me chills. Or when he thinks no one is looking or I'm not paying attention, the smile falls off of his face.
"Ah," I yelped, drawing blood from my thumb after biting the entire tip of my nail off.
I grabbed a tissue from the box on my white nightstand, then opened the drawer and grabbed a bandaid out of one of the many boxes I kept in my room.
I sighed and looked at a picture I drew and taped to my periwinkle wall, as if focusing on something would help focus my mind.
I began to chew on the inside of my cheek rather than the fresh bandaid. I know Kai told me to not do anything, but I can't even think about anything else.
What if he hurts me?
What if Kai was lying?
No, what he said makes sense... I know it does, I just have this feeling that keeps telling me I need to be careful. Last night, I couldn't get my thoughts to stop. I was overwhelmed and my head was muddled and foggy. It took hours longer than usual to fall asleep, and even when I did, it wasn't peaceful. It was light, the kind where your eyes still burn when you wake up.
I threw my blankets off of my legs and slid out of my bed. When I exited my room, I was met with both of my parents sitting on the couch in our living room watching TV.
"Good morning," I spoke hesitantly, feeling weird acting normal around my dad.
"Mornin, sleepyhead," my mom chirped, bringing her coffee mug up to her lips and taking a sip. "It's already past 11 o'clock, you rarely sleep in this late."
"Yeah, I couldn't fall asleep last night..." I trailed off.
"Good morning, Charlotte," my dad smiled. But now when I look at him I can tell that his smile is nothing more than a mask, a facade to hide his unempathetic self. "Have you taken your anxiety meds yet?" He asked.
"No, not yet," I mumbled. Was his concern fake? Was he just acting like this because my mom is there? Does he actually care about me?
"Go take them and then get dressed. Let's go out for lunch, I'm craving chicken tikka masala," my mom gave me a warm smile and then turned back to the show she was watching.
My mom is so happy with him, what would she do if she knew?
I walked into the bathroom and twisted the white cap off of the orange bottle. I shook it until one pill was in my hand. This whole situation is strange. Can I really even trust Kai? Even if he is my brother, I don't actually know what he's like or what kind of person he is. But my gut is telling me to believe him. My dad's reaction when I found that picture of Kai is alarming, all of this is sending the warning signals in my head into overdrive.
I gulped down the pill, downing the small glass of water I kept in the bathroom. I went back into my room and quickly changed into a pair of blue jeans, white vans, and an off white shirt with embroidered light purple flowers below my right shoulder.
I picked my phone off of my nightstand and walked into the kitchen, "Mommy, are you ready to go?"
"Yes, let me go grab some shoes, and then we can head out," she spoke as she placed her mug on the counter.
"Is-is dad coming too?" I stuttered.
"Hmm?" My mom turned around after placing her cup in the sink and rinsing it out. "Your father? No, he has a work call he needs to take."
"Oh, okay," I breathed out a sigh of relief.
The drive to the restaurant wasn't long. When we walked in, I noted the slightly dim lighting, the lamps hanging low off of the ceiling. There was a salad bar near the back with booths lining the walls and several tables of four scattered about.
A waiter took us to a table placed next to a large window and I sat down in the black booth with my mom opposite me. The waiter handed me a kids menu and some crayons. I quickly scanned it and then immediately took out the blue crayon and started coloring in the fish and ocean.
"Did you find something you'd like?" My mom asked me.
"The mac n' cheese," I told her, drawing a tic tac toe square and shoving the paper and another crayon in front of my mom.
Right when I was about to win the waiter came up to us with a black notepad and pen, "Are you ready to order yet?" He asked.
"I believe so," my mom smiled. "I'll have the chicken tikka masala, and she'll have..." she looked to me as her eyes widened, implying that I should tell him what I want to want.
I furrowed my brows and looked at my mom, begging her to ask for me.
"Char, tell the nice man what you would like for lunch," she encouraged.
"Mommy, can you order for me," I murmured under my breath, I'm sure she could barely hear me.
She sighed, "Fine." She then turned and smiled at the waiter once again, "And she'll have the macaroni and cheese. Also, two waters please," she handed him the menus.
"Sure thing," he replied.
We resumed our game of tic tac toe, switching to the dot game after a couple of rounds.
After winning once and losing twice, our food was placed on the table and I dug in. Mac n cheese will always be delicious.
We both quietly ate, not speaking to the other. I kept looking at my mom... shouldn't she know? If my dad is as dangerous as Kai says he is, then doesn't that mean my mom could also get hurt?
"Hey, mom?" I started, uncertain if I should continue.
"Yes?" She wiped her mouth with a napkin.
"I promised I wouldn't say anything..." I fought with myself, "but I don't know what to do."
"What is it, Char?"
"Did you know that dad had a family before us?"
My mom rolled her eyes, "Where did this nonsense come from."
"Mom, please just hear me out."
She raised her eyebrows and crossed her arms, as if daring me to continue.
"My brother reached out to me-" I was cut off.
"Brother??" she nearly shrieked, "That is outrageous, you are my only child!"
"Please just listen," I begged.
Her mouth formed a thin line.
"He told me some things about dad, and at first I didn't believe him and I was super confused. But the more he talked and explained things, the more it made sense and the more I saw how it could be true."
"Why are you talking so cryptically?" She paused and let out a long sigh, "Just get this imaginary story out of your system."
"It's not imaginary mom! The things he told me... I'm scared."
"Scared? So now I also need to worry about some stranger scaring my daughter, I knew you were too young for a phone," she muttered to herself. "Your dad has done so much for this family. He has never done anything to make me doubt him, ever."
"Mom!" I yelled to get her attention, "He told me that dad killed someone," I paused. "Don't you understand how serious this is?"
"Murder? Sweetheart, what type of TV shows have you been watching lately?" My mom asked, suddenly worried.
"No, listen!" I repeated once again. "Kai said that after his mom died, dad killed my other brother and almost killed him! You need to be careful, dad might hurt us too!" I tried to convince her.
"That is absolutely ridiculous!" My mom shouted at me as she abruptly stood up, the chair making a screeching noise as it was pushed backward. She slammed her hands onto the table, drawing several peering eyes.
"How dare you speak about your father like that! He has been nothing but an angel to me and you both! Get up, we are going home right now."
I looked down, startled by the harshness of her voice. She placed money on the table and stormed out of the restaurant.
I followed behind her, practically jogging to keep up. As she moved to throw open the car door I grabbed onto her arm and cried, "Mommy, please! Please believe me! He's dangerous, he's going to hurt us," The tears flowed down my face in fear, snot bubbling under my nose.
To any passersby, it would look like a little girl throwing a tantrum, but I didn't know what else to do.
"THAT IS ENOUGH!!!" My mom boomed, startling me. I slowly loosened my grip staring wide-eyed, I had never seen my mother so angry before.
"M-mommy..." My lips were quivering.
"No! We are going home right now to talk to your father about this!! I don't know what kind of nonsense has been spewed to you, but this is unacceptable! Now, get in the car."
"M-momm-" she cut me off.
"One... Two..."
I slowly moved to the backseat, climbing in.
"That's what I thought," my mom spoke as she started the car and began the drive back home.
"I thought I raised you better than this. Better than accuse your father of such horrendous things. I've known him for 11 years! Eleven!!"
I sat silently with no clue what to do.
"Please don't tell dad," I whispered.
"How can I not tell your father! We need to get it through your delusional head that he is not that kind of person! If you're going to act like he's some cold-blooded killer, then he has the right to know it's because of some lies you were told on the internet."
"Mommy," I pleaded, "You can't. D-dad told me that I could never tell you... but I found a picture of dad with my brothers. H-he got so mad. Mommy, I was, I am so scared!"
"Stop!" My mom shouted as she angrily drove. "Just stop it already! I trust your father more than anyone!"
"Haven't you noticed!?" More tears fell from my eyes, "Haven't you noticed the way that he acts when he thinks you cant see him!? How his eyes become so cold and how his smile fades?"
My mom flinched and then clenched her jaw, sighing, "Charlotte. That's enough," she turned the radio on to tune out my pleas.
I couldn't help the overflow of water coming from my eyes. I hiccuped trying to keep it in and calm myself down but it wasn't working.
Dad's going to know that I didn't keep my promise.
He's going to find out that I know about the things he's done.
I'm scared. I'm so scared.
"Mom!" I choked the words out. "MOM!" I screamed but there was no response and instead, she just turned the music up even louder.
What do I do? We're in danger but she won't even listen...
Kai. That's right, Kai said I should call him if anything happens!
I pulled my phone out of my pocket, pressing call on his contact with shaky hands.
It rang four times before he picked up, "Charlotte?" He asked.
"K-Kai," I was frantically sniffling, trying to keep my nose from dripping.
"What's wrong?" His voice was laced with concern.
"I-I was worr-worried, so I t-told my mom an-and she didn't believe-believe me. She's going to tell my dad about ev-everything! I'm scared..."
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