《Badly Broken》Chapter 29
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I was sitting up in my bed, leaning against the headboard as Lucas' head laid in my lap. His eyes were closed, sleep completely overtaking the boy as I ran my fingers through his hair. His arms were curled up near his chest and his face leaned toward my stomach.
His breathing was slow, the only noise in the room were the sounds of his soft breaths.
I looked down at his face, gently brushing my fingers over the bruise near his cheek. His dark brown eyelashes were long and thick, it made his sleeping face seem almost ethereal.
Lucas' words echoed in my head. Violence was no stranger to our relationship, but the second we became more than simple enemies I should have focused on the new boundaries we unknowingly drew.
With his concussion he won't even be able to fight at Mad Dog next week, throwing away nearly four years worth of effort in finding my dad. But I can't even complain... it's all my fault, after all.
There was a small knock at the door and Sarah slowly opened the handle, peeking her head in. A small smile broke onto her face.
She walked in, gently shutting the door so as to not wake Lucas. She moved to my desk, hugging her white skirt to her thighs as she sat down.
"I'm happy you two were able to talk. I think you both really needed this," Sarah whispered.
I nodded, "Can I ask why you tried so hard to fix our relationship?" I asked her. "Don't get me wrong, I'm really thankful, I'm just curious..." I spoke quietly.
Sarah sighed, "The us that exists now is a completely different version than when we were in elementary school, we've only known this version of each other for a week. Yet, even so, I hated seeing you like that. So oblivious and needlessly angry. And how could I ignore Lucas? It's been a long time since I've seen someone look as broken as him, I was surprised you couldn't see how much Lucas was hurting. Especially since it seems like most of his problems are not just randomly popping up now... "
"And sure, I may have overstepped my bounds a bit since your fight with Lucas only started a couple of days ago, but I didn't want to wait to see if things would end good or bad. I don't think either of you deserves to hurt more than what you both have already endured. Just like you, Lucas has some serious shit that he's been through. In the future, I sincerely hope you and Lucas will be there for each other. You have both suffered through so much, but I think that with time both of you will be able to heal, if you help each other that is," Sarah spoke, sounding uncharacteristically wise.
"Thank you, really. If it weren't for you I can't even imagine where we'd be right now. Id probably still be flipping my shit, and Lucas... fuck, I would have never known," I breathily whispered, sadly looking down at the boy who was fast asleep.
Sarah stood up, taking one last glance at Lucas and me, "You and Lucas really suit each other. I think everything will turn out okay," she had a warm gaze. "Lucas, he's broken... just like you. So make sure to take care of him, little bro."
"I will. I messed up, but I'm not the kind of person to make the same mistake twice."
She opened the door and turned to me before she left, "Good, make it up to him, Kai," Sarah closed the door behind her, the noise causing Lucas to stir.
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A loud groan came out of Lucas' mouth as he squeezed his eyes, stretching his arms above his head.
He huffed as he lowered his arms, his eyelids fluttering open, "I guess it wasn't a dream," the tired boy mumbled, still half asleep.
I chuckled, "No, not a dream."
Lucas moved to get up from my lap, but halfway up he brought a hand to the side of his head, "Ugh. I have a headache."
"Do you want painkillers?" I asked, full of guilt.
"No, my doctor gave me some, but she said not to take them unless absolutely necessary," Lucas laid back down, this time resting his head on a pillow.
I scooted myself down so I was lying next to him. I turned onto my left side so I could look at Lucas. I reached my arms out and pulled him closer to me, Lucas cuddling himself into my chest as I wrapped myself around him.
"I'm sorry," I murmured.
Lucas' voice sounded sleepy and exhausted, lacking all power, "You really don't hate me, right? You really weren't using me, right?"
"No," I whispered, turning my head downward and craning my neck to give the top of Lucas' forehead a soft kiss. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for things to turn out like this... What can I do to make it up to you? I'll do anything," I spoke desperately.
"Hmm," Lucas mumbled into my shirt, "tell me what kind of date you were able to come up with after thinking so hard and ignoring me for a week."
"Ouch... I deserved that," I rested my chin on top of Lucas' brown locks, the top of his head nuzzling into my neck.
"I had a lot of ideas, actually. At first, I wanted to take you to an amusement park, I'd ask you out at the top of the Ferris wheel," I chuckled, "Sarah told me that was too cliche."
"I think it'd be fun though, I've never been on a roller coaster."
"What? Seriously?"
"I was too busy looking after Kaleb, Kalen, Alice, and Tallie that I didn't have time for that kind of stuff," the frustration was clear in his hoarse voice.
"Okay then. After your head is all better, I'll take you," I smiled, gently rubbing my hand on his back.
"I'd like that," Lucas replied.
"The next idea was to take you to a race track, we're both adrenaline junkies so I thought it'd be fun for both of us. I also thought ziplining could be fun. The list keeps going, laser tag, escape room, ice skating, going to an aquarium or zoo, I even included stuff like bungee jumping and skydiving."
"Those do all sound fun, but I won't be able to do any of that stuff for a couple of weeks," he told me.
"I know. Sorry," I apologized again.
"I can't exercise, I'm not supposed to read or look at screens, I can't drive, I'm not supposed to go to loud places," Lucas paused, removing his head from under my chin and looking up at me, meeting my eyes, "and I can't do anything sexual."
I laughed and leaned down, lightly pecking Lucas' lips, enveloping him in a light kiss. I hovered slightly and then leaned back to get a better look at his face, "That's fine. You're worth the blue balls."
Lucas let out a deep giggle, fuck that's cute.
"You went an entire week without being touched, I'm sure you can survive two more," Lucas rolled his eyes playfully as we both rested our heads on the pillows.
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I kept my arms tightly wrapped around his dark grey graphic tee that was several sizes too big. I stared into Lucas' green eyes, "Sorry."
Lucas sighed, "That's enough apologizing, Kai. I'll be honest with you, I'm not over it... but that's just how I am. My anxiety makes me chronically overthink, but I'm not mad at you. I could never get mad at you."
I looked down, feelings of guilt washing over me, "How can I make it up to you, how can I get things to go back to how they used to be?"
"You can't," Lucas' words were followed by deafening silence.
"Oh," I choked on my words. "I uhm, I understand," it was a barely audible whisper.
"Let me finish," Lucas spoke. "I don't want things to go back to how they were before. Things will be better like this, for both of us," he hummed.
I let out a shaky breath, "You're right. We couldn't have kept going if things didn't change. This is better, now I see that I've been too self-absorbed." I hesitated before continuing, "You know how hard it was for me to tell you what happened with my family... So I hope that from now on you'll be able to take that step as well."
Lucas slowly nodded his head.
I brought my hand to his face, cupping the side while avoiding putting pressure on the bruises. I slowly leaned in and connected our lips as my eyes fluttered closed. The kiss wasn't like any of our previous ones full of lust and desire, but rather innocent affection.
Our lips pressed together and Lucas slowly opened his mouth. Our lips moved slowly in a sensual way, as if we were both telling the other that everything would be okay.
I removed my lips from Lucas, my eyes still closed, "I have an idea for a date, and it's something I think you can still do with a concussion.
My eyes opened to see a curious Lucas, asking me what it was with his eyes.
"A dog cafe," I smiled.
"A what?" He raised an eyebrow.
I repeated myself, "A dog cafe-" Lucas raised his hand to cover my mouth.
"I heard you the first time. What's a dog cafe?"
I gasped, "You've never been to a dog cafe?"
"No..."
"You like dogs, right?" I questioned.
"I love dogs, I wish I had one but I didn't have the time to take care of one," Lucas confessed.
"Perfect," I unwrapped my arms from Lucas' waist and sat up. I threw on a cream-colored sweatshirt, pulling Lucas off of the bed. "Come on, I'll show you. I think you're gonna like it," I smirked.
"Are you sure it's okay?" He asked.
"Don't worry, you'll be fine," I reassured him as I dragged the boy down the stairs and to his car. "Keys," I demanded as I stuck out my hand.
He took them out of his pocket and held them over my palm but hesitated, not letting them go, "Do you even have a driver's license?"
"Of course I do, I got one when I turned 16. I just couldn't afford a car at the time," Lucas looked at me suspiciously as he placed his keys in my palm and we climbed into the sporty blue car. It wasn't a long drive, once we got there I shoved the keys into my pocket and we made our way toward the front desk.
"How many?" The young man working the register asked me.
"Two," I told him.
After paying the man led us down a clean white hallway. There were clear doors lining the walls on both sides. Some rooms were empty with blankets and toys laying on the floor and a few rooms had people playing with dogs.
Lucas' eyes peered into each and every room, seeming to finally grasp what exactly a dog cafe was.
His eyes filled with excitement and a large smile took over his face, causing his eyes to crinkle.
We walked into a spacious room and took a seat on one of the numerous blankets littering the floor.
"When we bring the dogs in please note that everything is being recorded, so be gentle, dogs are living things too. We allow up to two dogs in a room at a time, is there any specific size of dog you would prefer?" He asked us.
I looked to Lucas, gesturing for him to answer.
"The bigger the better," Lucas grinned, causing me to laugh. He looked like a puppy.
"Preferably a calm dog if you have one," I chimed in.
"Sure thing," the young guy looked between me and Lucas, but I chose to ignore it.
He left the room and came back a couple of minutes later with a beautiful dog attached to a light blue leash, "This is Pluto, he's a three-year-old Newfoundland. He's probably the most cuddly dog we have here, he hurt his vocal cords before we rescued him so he doesn't bark," he unleashed the large animal.
Pluta had a white body with occasional black spots. His head was black but there was a thick white trail from his nose to the center of his forehead, and next to his nose were a plethora of black spots. Pluto had dark blue eyes, nearly grey.
"If you would like an additional dog or would like to switch this one out, just press the button here and someone will come to help," he gave us a business smile before closing the door on his way out.
Pluto made his way over to the wall Lucas and I were propped up against. He walked in between Lucas' legs, smelling his entire being as he gradually brought his nose up to Lucas' face, giving him a long, slobbery lick on the cheek, his tail wagging behind him.
"Eww!" Lucas squealed, but I could tell he was happy based on his adorable eye smile.
I broke out into laughter looking at the dog trying to rub against Lucas, getting as close as he possibly could before settling himself on Lucas' leg, his front paws and head resting on the thigh closest to me.
Pluto looked up at me expectantly, "Damn you're so stinkin' adorable," I reached down and let him smell my hand and then proceeded to scratch his head and behind his ears.
Lucas was continuously brushing his hands along the dog's body, a happy smile on his face, "Ugh I want a dog so badly!"
I moved closer to Lucas and leaned my head on his shoulder, both of us petting Pluto, slowly lulling him to sleep.
"You know," I started, "dogs can be really good for people with anxiety. Petting them is supposed to help calm you down and relieve stress."
"Really?" Lucas chuckled, "that sounds like something I need."
"Maybe I should get a dog," I mumbled to myself.
Lucas laughed, "You don't need to buy a dog just for me."
"Hah," I playfully scoffed, "bold of you to assume the dog would just be for you. I've got some issues of my own and could use a nice stress reliever."
"Touche," I felt the vibrations from his laughter.
We both quieted down, enjoying Pluto's soft fur. I let out a heavy sigh.
"What's wrong?" Lucas asked me.
I hesitantly responded, "It's just, I'm worried about Charlotte."
"Your sister?"
"Yeah. I know that Joon said that they acted like a normal, healthy family, but I can't help but wonder how things are behind closed doors. What if he hurts her like he hurt me?" I further nuzzled my face into Lucas' muscular shoulder.
Lucas spoke in a faint voice, "I don't know. I can't tell you that she's perfectly fine because I don't know either."
"Yeah... It's just something that has been bothering me ever since I found out about her."
"Hmmm," Lucas was thinking. "We could always try to find her on social media and reach out through there. Although there's no guarantee she even has any."
"That's not a bad idea," I murmured.
"We can look for her later," his voice was quiet.
Lucas leaned against the wall and closed his eyes. I didn't move from my comfortable position on his shoulder, "Are you okay?"
"Yeah," he pleasantly hummed, "I feel nice and warm... so comfortable."
Lucas' hand gradually stopped moving on Pluto's back, the dog was awake but looked extremely comfortable and didn't bother moving.
I rubbed my thumb on Pluto's forehead and massaged his scalp, his eyes drooping.
There was a quiet knock on the door and the young man's head appeared through the crack. I snapped my head up, no longer leaning on Lucas' shoulder.
"Oh, um..." the man whispered, noticing Lucas was asleep. "Sorry to bother you, it's just me and one of my colleagues were hoping we could get your autographs before you leave?" His voice raised in pitch toward the end of his sentence, indicating his statement was actually a hopeful question.
"Sure," I whispered with a smile on my face. The man shuffled into the room, a tan woman who appeared to be in her twenties following in behind him.
They both took a seat across from me just a couple of feet away, crossing their legs. The guy reached out and handed me a piece of paper and a sharpie.
Was I just supposed to sign my name in cursive? That's what a signature is, right? Or was I supposed to add a message too?
"Uhm, do you want me to make it out to anyone or...." I trailed off.
"If you could make it out to Isaiah, I would really, really appreciate it," the man's eyes were sparkling.
I chuckled and wrote on the paper, To Isaiah, then signing Kai in cursive. I hope that's good enough.
I handed the paper back to him, keeping the sharpie.
"Thank you so much!" He excitedly whispered.
The girl then proceeded to take off one of her white shoes, handing it to me, "Do you think you could write a little message too?" She asked shyly, "Oh but if you don't want to that's totally okay, just your signature is enough!"
I gave them an awkward smile and then looked down at the small shoe in my hand and wrote, It was very nice to meet you! I hope you'll continue to support me :) Kai.
As I was writing the girl bit her lip and raised her eyebrows, gently hitting the young man's arm out of excitement.
"Could you also ask Lucas to sign it?" Her eyes were hopeful.
I lightly tapped Lucas' shoulder and whispered in his ear, "Lucas. Lucas, wake up."
I would have shaken him or shouted, but that would be stupid to do while he has a concussion.
Lucas groaned as he adjusted his position, sitting up straighter and slowly opening his eyes, "Did I fall asleep?" He yawned.
"Yeah... we have a couple of guests," I jutted my head to the side, gesturing toward the workers.
His eyes flew open as he hectically wiped the drool off his mouth and fixed his hair, "Hi."
"She wants your autograph," I was no longer whispering but I still spoke softly.
"Oh, for real?"
"Yeah. Here," I handed him the pen and shoe.
"What's your name?" Lucas looked toward the girl.
"R-Remi," she stuttered, completely flustered.
I leaned over to look at what Lucas was writing, Dear Remi, thanks for being the one to ask for my very first autograph, Lucas Beck.
He stretched his arms toward the girl and handed her the shoe and sharpie, careful not to disturb Pluto.
"Thank you both so much! Would you like an extra 15 minutes? It's on the house," the man asked us as the two workers stood up.
"What time is it?" Lucas asked me.
"A little after 6:30 pm," I told him.
"I slept through breakfast and lunch, I want to get something to eat."
"Sounds good to me, I didn't have lunch either," I turned back toward the man and woman, "We're okay, we've been here for a while now, so it's probably time we got going."
Isaiah nodded his head and then put a leash on Pluto, trying to drag the unwilling dog out of Lucas' lap, causing both of us to laugh and smile affectionately at the adorable animal.
I stood up to leave, reaching for Lucas' hand and pulling him up as well.
We followed Remi out of the room and toward the front. As we were about to leave Remi spoke, "Good luck at your fight in three weeks! I'll be rooting for you two!" She smiled and pumped her fist in the air as encouragement as we made our way through the door.
We got back into Lucas' car and I asked, "What do you want to eat?"
"I want a burger," his answer was short.
I laughed, "I can make that happen."
As I drove to the best burger place in town I couldn't help but ask, "What did she mean the fight in three weeks? Aren't we dropping out because of your concussion?"
"Do you not check your email?" Lucas asked.
I shook my head.
"The news?" He further questioned.
I shook my head again.
"Do you not go on social media either? You don't follow Mad Dog just for show..."
"I'm confused."
Lucas huffed, "Okay, I'll sum it up for you. After our match yesterday, there was the other semi-final fight right after us. You know that much at least, right?"
"Yeah."
"A guy on one of the teams somehow snuck a knife in, he hid it in the waistband of his shorts and concealed it with his shirt. He pulled the knife during the fight and tried to use it on one of his opponents, but he ended up getting stabbed instead," Lucas told me.
"Seriously!?" I exclaimed.
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