The next morning Lindsey felt even worse than the day before, mentally and physically. She was still saddened by this whole Emily situation but man did her body fucking hurt. She was sore in places she didn't even know were possible.

That same morning Lindsey sat with Sam and Mal, while Rose and Emily sat at a table further away from them.

"How much longer do you think she'll be like that?" Lindsey asked

"Like we said, could be days, could be weeks" Sam reminded her

"Well everyday that passes I feel even more like a piece of shit. I can't believe i'm the reason this all happened" Lindsey stabbed her salad aggressively

"Linds you didn't know. You're new and you don't know much about any of us, so for Emily to expect you to know about her past is crazy" Mal chipped in

"yea I guess but that doesn't make me feel any better. I really thought we were getting somewhere"

"time will tell, come on we have to get ready for practice" Sam concluded their talk

Practice was no different. Emily still didn't talk to Lindsey but she did start talking to Mal and Sam. At this point she seriously feels like a whole ass trash can. When Emily would glance over at Lindsey, Lindsey would offer her a small smile but then Emily would look away as fast as could.

Lindsey went back to her room after and sat down next to Sarah who was doing her homework.

"Can I help you?" Sarah asked

"do you know anything, anything about Emily?"

"no, I hooked up with her once and only ever smile at her if we pass each other in the hall, why?"

"It's just she hasn't talked to me in almost two days now and I don't know how to fix it. I want to be her friend but I mentioned something that fucked her up and now she won't talk to me which leaves me to think i'll never talk to her again" Lindsey spit out fast

"slow your roll there. I'm sure whatever happened between you two will be fixed. Lindsey i've known you for what a week but I can tell you don't give up easily on others. I think you just need to give her time"

"I've given her time. I miss her, and that's stupid of me because i've only known her for a little while but she means something to me I can feel it"

"Then wait for as long as she needs, i'm certain she'll be back. I know I would come back"

"thanks"

"don't you have a class to get to?"

"SHIT" Lindsey ran our of the room and made her way to her first class, which was public speaking.

Her class flew by. She was excited for this class, as she grew up she had no problem speaking in front of large crowd she actually enjoyed it. It was the one time she felt as if people were paying attention to her and she didn't get that feeling often. Maybe that's a reason she feels something with Emily. When they first met Emily noticed her attitude towards Lindsey and felt bad. She was one of the few people in her life time who acknowledged her presence.

~~

The following day at practice was different. Emily had a smile on her face the majority of the time, she could feel her vibe was different. Emily passed by her and whispered.

"5:30 meet at the bench, bring a blanket"

Lindsey was confused on why she would be bringing a blanket, but more than ecstatic that Emily finally talked to her.

At 5:30 Lindsay made her way out of the door and saw Emily sitting on the bench.

"Are you ever late to anything" She asked

"Are you ever early to anything, you seriously gotta pay more attention to the time" Emily responded

"so where are we going that I need this blanket"

"to a park I just didn't want you to get cold is all" Fuck Lindsey thought why is she being so nice. "come on to the car we go"

5 minutes later they arrived at the park, "you do realize we could have just walked here"

"I know you're sore, didn't want to put you through more pain"

"ha ha" Lindsey said sarcastically

They were walking along the trail and suddenly Emily just dropped down on a patch of grass. Lindsey joined her.

They sat there and took in everything that was happening in front of them, then Emily broke the moment,

"I'm sorry, for avoiding you, snapping at you. You didn't know better and I should have not been so aggressive."

"Em it's fine I deserved it, I should have given

you space. You made it very clear that you need some"

"Thanks for giving me it..space I mean"

"Of course, I could tell you were hurting and as much as I wanted to help I knew I should stay away because I know nothing about you"

"yea there's quite a bit to learn" Emily said "I talked to Rose and she went on about how much you care and how special our friendship is because I was able to open up to you so fast. She made me realize that we do have something special going on and I want to know what it is. I haven't felt like this for a while and it almost feels refreshing. In order to see where we go, I need to be honest, open. So I'm gonna tell you why I got the way I did"

"You don't have to. I'm sure we can continue being friends without you having to talk about this"

"stop I want to so let me"

"okay.."

"When I was eight my dad and I were driving to the athletic store to get equipment. While driving some guy swerved into our lane and hit us. We went flying into the other lanes and ended up hitting a pole that impacted my dad's side...killing him" Lindsey didn't know what to do but she could tell this was gonna be long and emotional. She grabbed Emily's hand to reassure her that she was there.

"I was barely conscious but I could tell my dad wasn't okay. When I woke up fully my mom and sister were there. You could tell my mom was crying and my sister was too. They told me what happened, and every since that moment i've done nothing but blame myself. We were going to get stuff for me and now my dad's dead. For years I went to this therapist and she was great, I was a depressed mess. My dad meant everything to me, he made sure to come to every single soccer game. He wanted me to be this big star, 'do what you see fit in your future' he always told me. He knew soccer means so much to me, and then I lost him, my motivation to keep going. I realized he wanted me to continue doing what I love and that is soccer so I rediscovered my love for it and here we are."

"I was on anti-depressant but once I got to college it all changed. My mom stopped paying for my meds, because I was old enough to pay for them, and I couldn't go to my therapist so what was the point of paying her, I have no money to afford it so i've been off my meds and haven't talked to anyone for a while. Now I have nothing and I'm a mess. It's why Rose means so much to me, she knows about it all and no matter what she knows how to pick me back up and push me along" They were still holding hands

She continued "When you asked me about my dad it just triggered it all again and I was struggling. I didn't want to lash out on you, trust me. But I needed to find my way back, I'm back now and i'm okay. I hope all of this doesn't make you see me differently" Emily finish

"never Em if anything I see you as the strongest person I know, stronger than me. All of this happened and you still find a way to put smiles on people's faces even when you're not feeling you best."

"Thank you, for understanding"

"I always will"

"Alright freshie enough about me, anything you want to say before we leave"

"I'll share just so were even. Mine isn't as bad but..here we go. As I told you growing up I always knew I was gay. My parents didn't though. All I wanted to do was just give up because they never allowed me to express myself. I knew if I tried they would be mad and say that's not the proper way to dress Linds. I always did what they wanted me to. In the 10th grade this boy asked me out, I said yes because I didn't want my parents to think anything. When they found out about that boyfriend they were so happy. They invited him to family dinner, he was always at our house. My mom one day told me it was alright to 'take the next step' as long as we were safe. The next day I broke up with him because I wasn't happy and I for sure didn't want that next step to happen, especially my first time with a guy. Coming here I feel like a new person, I can be the person I always wanted to be and it feels so good."

"I'm proud of you for realizing it's not what you want and now you're happy. I bet it feels good"

"you make me feel good, I noticed that when weren't talking to me. I felt lost for the first time, I noticed you made me feel rush of energy and excitement and you knew how to make me feel good."

Emily just looked at Lindsey for a moment. She fought the urge of leaning in, she saw Lindsey head move forward a bit and then quickly got up.

"so we should probably get back. I think Rose wants to watch a movie tonight, you can come if you want." Emily said whole Lindsey got up

"uh" she thought about the homework she had, "sure why not"

They headed back to the dorms and set up a movie. Rose got the honor of choosing and put on Karate Kid.

"guys you don't understand I fucking love this movie" Rose said excitedly

"couldn't tell" Lindsey said from the chair

"Linds why are you sitting in the chair i'm sure Emily would be more than happy to share her bed" Rose said with a smirk

Lindsey recalled back to their awkward moment, "i'm good this chair is very comfortable" her phone went off. It was a text from Sarah.

Sarah- Ohh so ur good now huh?

Lindsey- yea we're good, and oh my do I have to tell u what went down

Sarah- well spill u won't be back for a while and I might fall asleep

Lindsey- okay...i'm pretty certain we were abt to kiss

Sarah- WHAT LINDSEY HORAN I THOUGHT U SAID U DIDNT HAVE FEELINGS

Lindsey- i mean i thought i didn't but idk maybe i'm overthinking but i swear, no feelings

Man was that a lie, especially after that moment. Emily looked at Lindsey and saw her smiling at her messages and wondered who she could have been texting. Rose also noticed and asked,

"who's that you're talking to Ms. Smiley"

"No one"

"mhm just spill none of us will say anything"

"it's this girl Sarah, she's my roommate"

Rose looked at Emily, her eyes widened, "do you have a thing for her" Emily rolled her eyes

"what no she's just nice, making sure i'm okay"

"hmm alright but you better tell me if anything happens between you two"

"okay..?"

After Lindsey left Rose confronted Emily.

"you so have a thing for Lindsey"

"do not"

"don't lie to me I can read you like a book"

"Fine I think Lindsey is..cute, but I'm not gonna go after her she's not my type"

"shut up you don't have a type, your type is everyone"

"rude"

~~

The next day the same things happened, school, practice, more school. The 4 girls, Mal, Sam, Emily, and Rose were hanging out alone because Lindsey had a class.

"guys listen to what happened last night" Rose said

"Rose don't-"

"Emily thinks Lindsey's hot and wants her"

"OOOO" Sam said

"Rose when did I say she was hot and I wanted her, I legit said she was cute but i'm not gonna go after her"

"same thing" Rose said

"not the same thing at all"

"Son you should go for her, she so you're type and I think she likes you" Mal added

"One she's not my 'type' we're too alike and i'd just mess her up if we dated and two how do you know she likes me"

"We went to lunch before practice and she couldn't stop talking about oh my she wouldn't shut up. Also the entire time you were ignoring her she was really worried about you"

"go for it son" Sam said

"guys stop i'm not going for anything alright just please stop"

"Okay fine we'll stop" Rose could tell Emily was getting mad

Emily has never felt so many emotions at once, without sad being one of them. She was happy, yet confused, and mad all at the same time. After the others left Emily texted Lindsey

Em- u busy?

Linds- just doing hw y?

Em- fuck hw come 2 my room, Rose is gone n I need to tell u something

Linds- if i fail it's on u

Em- u wont, stop being a baby and come now

Lindsey arrive 5 minutes later

"What did you need to say so desperately that it couldn't wait till I was done" Lindsey asked walking in and sitting on Emily's bed

"Okay tell you that um...well me and your roommate Sarah-"

"hooked up I know. She told me about it, she makes you sound superior at sex but I don't believe it" Lindsey said

"wait back up, you knew this entire time and didn't say anything, and I'm very good at sex thanks for asking."

"mhm sure. She didn't tell me it all just that you guys hooked up and it was the best sex of her life"

"damn am I really that good?"

"according to her, yes. Is this about what Rose said the other night because she was just messing around I don't like Sarah like that at all. I have my eye on this other girl in one of my classes. She's nice, has a great personality and is pretty chill" It hurt her listening to Lindsey talk about another girl, even though it shouldn't because she didn't have any feelings for her.

"well she sounds pretty cool. You should for sure go for her, be happy. Know that I'll always be here to help you with her or any other girls"

"Thanks and yea she's pretty cool, she knows how to make me feel wanted and like I exist"

"Linds you're serious the best how could anyone want to pretend you don't exist" Lindsey smiled at that

"I should get back, don't want to fail"

"text me if you need anything"

"for sure"

Lindsey's feeling were growing and preparing to be crushed at the same time.