The next morning Lindsey was not feeling it. Her whole body was sore from the training yesterday. She regrets telling Emily she'd join her on the hike because all she wants to do is sleep.

9:50am flashed on her clock * shit* she ran over to her closet and put on soccer short snd a shirt, threw her hair up quickly and ran down stairs without her shoes on. Emily was standing by the bench

"nice one Linds, 10:01" she looked up from her watch

"sorry I was too busy complaining to myself about how sore I am"

"dude if your sore from that, just wait for real practice to start"

"great" she rolled her eyes

"come on kid let's go"

"kid, really? I get it that i'm a freshman and all but do you have to call me kid?"

"would buddy be better?" Emily asked

"nope but I feel like I can't stop you"

"you're very correct about that"

The truth is that Emily is trying her best to treat Lindsey like her friend so that she can trick her mind and not fall hard for Lindsey

Once they arrived to the hiking area Lindsey saw that the trail was 6 miles long

"seriously 6 miles are you trying to kill me"

"listen I wouldn't have taken you if I knew you were that sore, and it's worth it trust me" Lindsey didn't trust her but she had no choice but to go

On there hike it was pretty awkward. They didn't know what to talk about so majority of the time was silence. Every now and then a complain would come from Lindsey's mouth

"ughh" Emily laughs

"what is it now?"

"my legs feel like they're about to fall off me, if I do fall you better be willing to catch me"

"I'm willing but i'm not ready, don't go down on me now Linds we only have 2 more miles" Emily said as if it was nothing

"UGHH"

They finally reached the end and Lindsey collapsed to the floor before she could even see the view. Holy shit was it a nice view. It looked over all the forest.

"wow this is nice" Lindsey said

"yea I come here a lot" Emily sat down next to her

"why, is this where you bring all the girls?" Lindsey joked

"how'd you know? no, this is where I go when i'm having trouble believing everything will be okay. Now that you know about this place are you gonna bring all the girls here"

Lindsey was distracted with the first part she almost didn't hear the end

"what?"

"Lindsey we may not know each other but I know for a fact you're gay. If you tell me you're not then shit i'm really off"

"I- I, how the fuck is everyone just guessing that. I've kept this a secret for years and you're telling me i've been that easy to read"

"no, you're actually pretty difficult for straight people. Us gay's can tell easier, sorry if you didn't want me to know but I had to get it out, I know how lonely it can get being the only gay in a straight friend group. It's like they don't know what we go through"

"It's not that I didn't want you to know it's just that's where my trust issues come into play" Lindsey said

"I'd like to hear if you're willing to tell"

Lindsey was hesitant at first but something about Emily felt safe "I'm only telling you this because there's something between us that feels different, i've never felt this instant trust with anyone, so here we go..when I was little, middle school to be exact, all I wanted to do was wear soccer shorts and a shirt but my mom would say 'no Linds, no that's no proper way to dress, boys don't like girls who look like that' so the rest of my school time I dressed to impress nobody but my mom. I've known since middle school when I found my one best friends cute. I felt so trapped, I couldn't tell anyone because someone would tell my mom and she.." she started tearing up "..she would be so disappointed in me. I couldn't trust anyone to keep my secret there and I realized I need to be me, so I left, got as far away as possible. Maybe I can be myself here, actually make friends and tell them stuff without being scared they'll tell my mom. So yea that's why I don't tell anyone"

Emily stayed silent, she was crying but didn't want Lindsey to see so she didn't look her direction.

"i'm sorry, I know how it feels to be stuck and not have anyone" she whispered

"I got through it so I think I'm okay"

"It's so much like my story. I've only ever told Sam, Mal and Rose this but you're right there's something different between us"

"you don't have Em"

"I want to" Lindsey nods even though Emily couldn't see her

"When I was high school I liked my best friend. We did everything together. I got such strong gay vibes from her that one day I went for it, I told her everything. That I was gay, that I liked her.." she sniffled "..if you don't know Georgia isn't the best place for gay people. She told me to leave to never talk to her again. The next day I arrived at school to no friends no one would talk to me, I later found out she told the whole school I was gay and that I liked her" Lindsey put her hand on her back, "You can stop Em"

"I felt exposed, I couldn't trust anyone. I had only had one person left, my sister. For the rest the of my high school time it was me and my sister. She would eat lunch with me, yell at the people making homophobic comments and jokes. She told me one day that she didn't care that I was gay because we are sister, twins. She told me she doesn't hate me, she loves me for being me. My mom never found out and still hasn't so, I uh really only have my sister left" Lindsey was crying at this point

"what about your dad" Lindsey whispered

Emily wiped her tears "that's enough for today, we should get back" she got up and started walking away, so Lindsey had no other choice but to follow

In the car no one talked, it was just music and dry tears streams. They got back to the dorms

"Em i'm sorry if I said something that was triggering, I didn't mean it"

"it's fine you didn't know, but now you do so, I'll see you later Lindsey"

Emily walked back to her dorm and instantly was interrogated by Rose

"Where were you miss, and why were you gone so long"

"I was Lindsey, we went on a hike"

"OOOO you two together alone.."

"Rose nothing happened we just hiked and talked"

"about.."

"stuff"

"Em..what stuff" Emily didn't respond and Rose instantly knew what 'stuff'

"Emily we don't even know her, and you told her about it all"

"no, only about the gay part but i'm pretty certain everyone at this school knows i'm gay and doesn't care so i'm good"

"still that took you forever to tell us, you've known her for two days and trust her that much"

"Rose I trusted her because she had the same exact story, she gets me, I felt safe telling her"

"What did she say about your dad?"

"I didn't tell that part, she asked but I couldn't tell her that yet, it's too personal and will fuck her up. She's already trapped and sad, I don't want to make it worse" Emily started crying

"Come here" she climbed into Rose's bed and they laid there, crying, for a long time.

"it was my fault"

"Emily no it wasn't okay none of it was your fault and i'll keep telling you that until you understand it wasn't" Rose said comforting her

At dinner Lindsey sat with Mal and Sam who were awaiting Rose and Emily's arrival.

"where are they" Mal said

"let me text Rose, Lindsey you were with Emily earlier yea? was anything different?" Sam asked

"um i've only known her for a day so I couldn't tell you but she was in a mood when we got back"

"hmm" Sam hummed

Emily and Rose entered the dinning hall and instantly the two other friends could tell something was up. They could see Rose putting things on Emily's tray and leading her to their own table away from the others.

"Oh no it's happening, I wonder what set her off this time" Mal asked concerned

"what do you mean?" Lindsey said looking at the other two

"uh well all I can say is Emily brain isn't as happy as you may see it and her brain is very dangerous place. Not many people have seen the worst of it, only Rose to be exact. It doesn't happen that often but when it does it's normally something that was said that set her off" Mal explains

"she can be like this for days, weeks even. She only ever turns to Rose because she for some reason trust her the most" Sam added in

"shit, you guys just leave them alone? don't talk to them for days?" Lindsey asked

"yea normally, we make sure she's knows we're there but other than that we leave them be.

Lindsey didn't fully know of it was the question she asked but she had a strong feeling it was.

"so Linds how are you feeling about tomorrow first practice and all"

"Scared i'm so sore from yesterday and add on the hike today I probably won't be feeling my body tomorrow"

"lucky for you they start us off easy"

"thank god"

Rose and Emily stayed radio silent for the rest if the night and into the next morning

Lindsey stayed in her room that night and watched a movie with Sarah.

"where were you today?"

"went on a hike with Emily"

"get it girl"

"no remember i'm not getting it, were just friends. She's going through something and haven't talked to her since this morning so who knows if i'm even getting a friendship"

"oh well let's get your mind off that and focus on this movie because this is the best part"

When they got to practice the next morning it was still Emily and Rose in their little bubble. Lindsey felt guilty so she walked over to Emily. All the other freshmen were looking at her weirdly

"I feel like the absolute shittiest person every. I know it was me who fuck up and triggered you and i'm sorry, please don't let it ruin what we have"

"It's fine Lindsey I told you that yesterday, just leave me alone" Emily snapped back

Lindsey walked away feeling worse than before. All throughout the practice she kept glancing at Emily. Emily hated every second it made her feel worse, made her feel fragile.

When they started walking to the locker rooms Emily pulled Lindsey off to the side

"Lindsey I get it, you feel like a terrible person but you need to stop. Stop looking at me like i'm damaged, I know I am. I know I'm fucked up in my head and I'm depressed to a level that's scary. But please stop looking at me like that, and stop apologizing because what is done is done and now you can't go back. I'll tell you when I feel better, but you're making it worse by telling me you're sorry" Emily yelled loud enough so only the people outside the locker room could her. She walked away before Lindsey could say a word

Mal walked up hearing the whole conversation.

"And that right there is why we wait until she comes back to us. I know you're scared but you don't need to be Rose has it under control, always has"

"I feel terrible, I caused this and now she'll probably never talk to me again" She sat against the wall and Mal joined her

"she will and you can trust me about that because the same thing happened to me and Sam. After her episode she came back and apologized because she felt bad for treating us like that. She'll come back I promise"

"I really hope she does, I feel something with her. I don't know what it is but I feel safe, comfortable with her. She understands me, my background, everything. So yea I really hopes she comes back"

Emily walked back to her room without Rose, because she was going to get them food. She took a shower back in the locker room, she was so mentally drained that she climbed into Rose's bed and fell asleep.

When Rose came back from getting them food, she found Emily dead asleep in her bed and decided to climb in because she knew this would be a long night. Emily woke up and sat in bed which then woke Rose up.

"What's up"

"I yelled at Lindsey today"

"Son.."

"she was just bothering me. She kept looking at me as if i'm broken and yes i'm very broken I get it, I know. Having her look at me like that fucked me up. We were becoming such good friends and now she looks at me as if i'm her favorite mirror she just broke"

"Emily I get it you don't want people to look at you like that, but you have to understand she's new she's most likely never dealt with this before and now her she is. You have be easier, she feels bad and is looking at you like that because she cares about you. I also she's young nothing like us, we've been through more shit she has. I do know that she's only 18 but she has a huge heart and half of it is filled with caring about you"

"She barely knows me how could I fill it up so much"

"because Mal told me she sees you as someone she can trust and building that trust in two days means you guys have a special connection. She feels bad, she feels for you. I bought you some banana bread from the cafe" Rose showed her the bread

"you suck"

"what do you mean it's your favorite"

"that we're so serious five seconds ago and now we're talking about banana bread"

"just eat it" She did.