《Seeing Double》47

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"You ready Kelloggs?" I ask.

"Yep." Kelley says as some producer brings over the alcoholic drinks for us.

Kelley and I are at National team camp and we played Brazil twice and beat them both times. Today is our last day in camp and my twin and I are filming a piece for a documentary that's being made about us.

I still have no clue why we decided to do this, but Kelley said it'd be a good idea so I went with it.

Today's filming thing is basically a drinking game/therapy. The two of us are going to ask each other questions while drinking which is the only way I said I'd do this part just because I can blame getting emotional on the alcohol.

Some of the girls coaxed Kelley into letting them be in the room during this so now the whole team is in the room.

"Whenever your ready." The director says.

"How do we start this?" I ask.

"I'll start." Kelley says and grabs a slip of paper from her bowl. "What are you most proud of?"

"Being back in your life." I say then take a drink of my whiskey.

"What do you mean?" Kelley asks.

"I'd been gone for 11 years, we only ever texted or talked on the phone, and I left you with only a note to explain that I left."

"Oh." Kelley says then I grab a slip of paper from my bowl.

"Fucking hell." I mumble when I read the question then I look at my twin. "You need to drink before I read this."

Kelley raises her eyebrows at me then she drinks her drink.

"Kelley..." I say. "After I left did you ever wish I wouldn't have survived getting shot?"

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"Geez." I hear Christen mumble.

"Honestly?" Kelley asks and I nod. "Until I saw you outside our hotel at the 2012 Olympics I did."

"Fair." I say and take a drink as Kelley grabs a slip of paper.

"Has there ever been a time you haven't loved me?" Kelley asks and I shake my head no. "Really?"

"Even through all the bullshit in high school, college and with me leaving to Germany, there was never I time I didn't love you." I say. "There were times where I hated you, but no I never stopped loving you."

"Aww." Christen says as I reach for a piece of paper.

"Who was the favorite twin?" I ask even though I know the answer.

"Me." Kelley instantly says.

"Well that was easy." I say as Kelley grabs a sheet of paper.

"Do you resent anyone?" Kelley asks.

"Yeah." I say. "We both know who."

Our family knows we are doing this and they're apart of the filming. Kelley and I made the conscientious decision to try and not speak about the way our dad treated me so he wouldn't be painted in a bad light.

Dad's actually worked on his issues and we're a lot closer...not as close as he and Kelley are, but were close so that's good.

"That we do." Kelley says as she grab a sheet of paper. "I'm doing another one....oh....Do you regret leaving?"

"No." I easily admit.

"Can I ask something?" Christen asks.

"Yeah." Kelley and I say in unison.

"Why did you leave Astrid?" Christen asks. "I mean I know you left because of the shooting, but your letters to Kelley and I made it seem like you were already thinking of leaving."

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"I was going to leave anyway." I admit.

"What? Why?" Kelley asks.

"I already had a deal inked with Wolfsburg that would start in January of 2010 a month after our senior season, but after I was shot in August of '08 I called them and they said I could come over so I did."

"Why would you have left anyway?" Kelley asks and I don't miss the hurt in her voice.

"Kelloggs whenever someone referred to us what would they say?" I ask and Kelley just looks at me. "It was always Kelley O'Hara and........."

"Kelley O'Hara's twin sister." Kelley mumbles.

"Exactly." I say. "That shit gets annoying after a while."

"Have you ever wished you weren't a twin?" Christen asks.

"Yes." Kelley and I say in unison.

"When?"

"Just random times throughout our lives." Kelley says and I nod.

Kelley grabs another piece of paper and reads it then she looks at me and gulps.

"Have you ever wanted to hurt me?" Kelley asks.

"Yes." I say then take a drink.

"When?"

"A lot when we were younger." I admit.

"Why?" My twin asks

"You never got any of the shit I got through out our childhood and I resented you for awhile and it angered me, but when we were around 14 or 15 I realized you couldn't control people's opinion so my anger and resentment towards you went away." I say then take another drink to mask my emotions.

Kelley also takes a drink and I notice her getting emotional.

"It's okay Kelloggs." I whisper and bring my twin into my arms. "We're all good now."

"I know." Kelley mumbles.

Kelley returns to her side of the table as I grab a piece of paper.

"Do you think our relationship was stronger before I went to Germany or after I came back?" I ask.

"Probably after." Kelley says. "I think we both realized how much we needed each other in our lives."

"Very true." I say as Kelley grab a piece of paper.

"Is there something you wish you never knew about me?" Kelley asks.

"Yes." I immediately say with a smile.

"What is it?" Kelley asks.

"Stop talking to me about your sex life." I say making everyone laugh. "I don't mind if you talk to me about some things, but I don't need to know everytime you and Hope try something new in the bedroom."

"Well I'm sure talking about it has helped you and your girlfriends sex life." Kelley says.

"My girlfriend and I's sex life is amazing." I say and I notice Tobin blush. "Trust me."

"Well maybe me telling you about my sex life has helped you and.......Silvia." Kelley says and slowly says the last word.

"Nice save." I say with a smirk.

Tobin and I still aren't public yet and weirdly none of the fans have any clue that we're. dating. Most of the fans ship me with Christen, Alyssa, Moe, Becky, Corsie, or Desiree.

They ship me with Tobin, but it's not one of the main ships involving me

"I think that's a good place to end." The director says then the camera's stop rolling.

"Sorry." Kelley sheepishly says.

"You're fine Kels." I say.

"So what's the documentary going to be called?" Alex asks as my twin and I are un-mic'd.

"Seeing Double."

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