"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course." I say.

"Do you wanna be here?" Tobin asks.

"Be where?"

"On this date."

"I do. I really do. " I say.

"Did I do something? Because it seems you're a bit distance." Tobin says making me sigh.

"Can I be honest with?"

"Please."

"My life changed when I was 20..."

I then explain how and why I became a fuck girl, I explain why I distracted myself with booze and sex, and I explain why I'm scared to love.

"...So yeah. That's why I'm distant tonight. It's not because I don't want to be here. I just don't know how this is suppose to work Tobin."

"A date?" Tobin asks.

"Yeah. Usually I'd take a girl out then we'd end up back at her place and I really don't want that anymore."

"Why?" Tobin says and I look at her weirdly. "I'm not asking because I want that to happen tonight. I just want you to get it out so you can let it go."

"I like you Tobin and I want to actually get to know you first before getting intimate. You make me feel things that I've never felt before..." I say and Tobin nods. "and honestly it fucking terrifies me."

"Why?"

Tobin then grabs my hand from across the table."

"Because with everything that's happened I have never had someone to trust or rely on with all of my issues and baggage. I haven't felt love from someone or loved someone in 11 years so I'm afraid that if we do become something more than friends I'll drag you down."

"I'm still here aren't I?" Tobin says and squeezes my hand. "Astrid I like you as well and I'm not going anywhere. I know your scared to let someone in and love you like you deserved to be loved so, if you'll allow me, I'd like to be the one to love you."

- - - - -

"I never got to ask how your date went" Kelley whispers.

"Um it was a bit emotional. I put all of my baggage on the table and she stayed so I guess that's a good thing." I say.

"Are you dating yet?"

"Kels it was our first date."

"So? You two look at each other like Hope and I look at each other."

"We're going slow Kelley. It's still hard for me to let someone in." I say then Kelley hugs me.

"You excited?" Kelley asks as we turn into the stadium.

Today's the game against Australia and unfortunately I'm not playing today, but I am on the bench so that's cool.

"Excited to sit on the bench for 90 minutes." I say.

"It'll go quickly."

"Hopefully...still wanna do the usual?" I ask.

"Yep. I've got the stuff." Kelley says as the bus stops.

The team get's off the bus and heads into the locker room. Everyone does their own thing and after I've put my kit and stuff on and tapped my wrists and fingers I sit in my locker and relax until Kelley comes and sits in my lap. I then put my hands in my twins hair and run my fingers through it for a minute then put Kelley's hair into her signature pony tail. Kelley then leans back into me as I hold my hands out in front of her then she gets out her nail polish and starts doing my nails.

"I see you two are falling back into old habits." Christen says with a smile.

"Yep." I say with a smile.

"I guess you two always do this?" Crystal asks.

"Yeah. It started in high school. We'd get in our heads too much and mess up so one day Kelley just sat down and I did her ponytail and she did my nails and we've done it ever since."

"Do you do this before every game?" Mal asks.

"Every game we play together we do." I say as Kelley is focusing on my nails.

"Even tournaments?" Kling asks as Kelley blows on my nails.

"Um we'll do my nails three times during a tournament like the World Cup, but we'll do the pony tail thing every game."

"What are the three times?"

"Before the first group game, before the first knockout game, and before the final." I say as Kelley puts her stuff away.

Kelley then gets off my lap and kisses my head then goes and sits in her locker. A minute later the pregame speeches happen then myself and the rest of the subs head to the bench and get ready for the game.

- - - - -

I was sort of right.

The game was long, but it was very entertaining and the team won 5-3. Kelley picked up a slight injury in warmups so she didn't play. The injury isn't anything bad, but they took her out of the line up just to be careful.

"Nice shooting Mal." I say then hug her and kiss her head.

"Thanks Astrid." Mal says with a smile.

While Mal goes and visits with her Colorado friends I head into the locker room. Tobin walks beside me and we smile at each other then keep walking into the locker room. Once in the locker room I quickly hug Tobin and congratulate her on her goal then change into my normal clothes before we head back to the hotel.

Our family decided to have dinner in our parents room so after Kelley and I were released for the night we walked to their room, surprisingly they got a room in our hotel, and waited to be let in after we knocked.

"ASTRID." Erin yells and hugs me once we are in the room.

"Hey Erin." I say.

"You ever leave again I'm punching you in the tit."

"What is with you and Kelley wanting to punch me there?"

Erin shrugs so I hug Mom and Jerry then grab my food Mom ordered for me and sit down in-between my sisters.

"So Astrid..." Erin says.

"Yes?"

"How ya been?"

"Fine." I say then continue eating for a little bit. "I'm sure Kelley told you everything."

As I finish eating Dad speaks up.

"Why'd you leave?" Dan asks.

"Why weren't you a good enough father?" I say

"I was fine" Dad says.

"Astrid stop doing your homework and get in goal so Kelley can work on her shots." I say imitating the all to familiar sentence dad told me growing up.

"I nev-"

"Astrid don't dive at Kelley's legs you'll ruin her career."

"That's-"

"Astrid you hurt Kelley you idiot."

"Astr-"

"After what you did today Astrid you are not my daughter." I repeat the sentence that hurt me the most.

"Dad you said that?" Erin asks.

"What the fuck dad." Jerry says.

"Astrid's lying." Dad says.

"Dad are you forgetting I remember everything. I remember every time you belittled me because I wasn't up to your standards, every time you gushed over Kelley, but paid me no mind, I especially remember every time I tried to hurt myself because you told me I didn't deserve to be an O'Hara."

"Alright that's enough Astrid." Kelley says.

"Until you want to act like my dad instead of my sperm donor don't contact me." I say then stand up.

"Or me for that matter." Kelley says and stands too. "I knew it was bad, but not that bad."

The two of us then leave the room and walk down to our floor.

"Well that was fun." I say.

"Yeah." Kelley says then squeezes my hand. "I'm sorry I never noticed how bad he treated you."

"It's alright Kels. I'd rather it be me than you." I say as Kelley gets a text.

"Apparently we are chilling in mine and Christen's room tonight."

I nod then the two of us make our way to Kelley's room and walk into an argument.

"HEY." Kelley yells getting everyone attention. "Can someone please explain why there is a full scale argument in my room?"

"We're trying to see who has the best pick up lines." Kling says as Kelley and I sit down.

"And it's obviously me." Pinoe says.

"Oh really?" I ask and Pinoe nods. "Alright try your best line on someone."

Pinoe walks up to Allie and takes her hand in hers.

"Allie would you like to try an Australian Kiss?"

"What's an Australian kiss?" Allie asks.

"It's like a French kiss, but down under."

"Eww." Allie says and slaps Pinoe in the arm.

"That's the best you got?" I ask.

"I'd like to see you try." Pinoe says.

"Okay." I say. "On who?"

"Tobin." Mal says.

I nod then get up and walk over to Tobin and sit next to her. I then move some of her hair back behind her ear.

"If you stood in front of a mirror holding 11 roses you'd see 12 of the most beautiful things in the world." I say causing Tobin to blush.

"Show off." Kling says.

The next thing I know I feel lips on mine. I take a quick peek and see that Tobin is kissing me so I quickly kiss back. I then move my hand to the back of her neck and deepen the kiss.

"Alright you two." Kelley says and throws a pillow at us. "We get it. Astrid is the master."

"Would you like to go for a walk?" I ask still looking at Tobin.

"I'd love to."

"Bye everyone." I say and lead Tobin out of the room.

The two of us leave the hotel and walk down the street to a local park.

"I'm sorry I kissed you." Tobin says.

"Why?" I ask hoping she won't leave me too.

"We're taking thinks slow and I don't want to overstep your boundaries."

"It's okay Tobin." I say and squeeze her hand. "I didn't mind the kiss...I actually really liked kissing you."

"Oh you did?" Tobin asks with a smirk on her face.

"In fact." I say and pull her toward me. "I'd like to do it again."

"I think that can be arranged." Tobin says before she leans in.

Yeah. I definitely want to kiss her forever.