I saw you

It's been a day.

A day since Lane and I kissed... well made out. It was flipping amazing may i add.

We haven't brought it up. Not once. We've both been acting like it didn't happen. I went down to the cafeteria after and sat at table with him and couple kids from our class, and acted like everything was normal. But it isn't. Because i like my best friend. All i can think about is the taste of his lips... i can't even think straight.

I skipped out of skiing today, Jonesy let me because i told him i was traumatised, but really i just hate the cold. We get to use the hot tub later this evening though, which is exciting. I'm currently in the hotel room, 'catching up on assignments' when really i'm catching up on season four of Attack on Titan. I'm a feminist, but i'd let Levi Ackerman ruin my life.

The door swings open unexpectedly, making me jump. I turn over to see Lane, pulling his ushanka hat off. He has a serious attachment to it.

"Hey abominable snowman." I say, turning back to my show. I have to skip back a couple seconds cause i missed like three lines of dialogue looking away from the subtitles.

"Hey Elsa," he flops down on his bed, kicking off his boots. "Are you gonna spend the whole trip in here?"

"Absolutely. We don't have a 75 inch TV back in our dorm room." I shove another handful of skittles into my mouth.

Lane chuckles, standing up and walking in my direction. My heart begins to race but i don't react. He throws himself on to the bed beside me, mimicking the way i'm sat, cross-legged.

"What episode are you on?" he asks. He's so close to me, i can smell the mint on his breath as he speaks. My leg tingles where his is touching mine.

"The most recent one." I answer.

"Let's all take a moment to cancel Gabi." he shakes his head.

"Right!" I shake mine.

We sit in a moment of comfortable silence as the show comes to an end. Man bun Eren could get it.

"Are you going to the hot tub tonight?" he says after a while.

"Yeah, it's only our class tonight tho right?" I know it's like twenty feet long, but i really don't want to end up sitting next to Chuck.

"Yeah. We should probably start getting ready soon." Lane pushes himself up off the bed. The warmth i felt automatically disappears as he moves away from me.

I check the time. It's almost 7. We're scheduled in for 8.

I watch as he reaches down into his suitcase and pulls out a pair of black swimming shorts. He stretches his arm back over his shoulder and grips on to his shirt, pulling it over his head slowly.

My mouth parts slightly as i stare at his tensing back muscles. Get a grip Jules, you're practically drooling. Wait, is he about to strip in front of me?

As if he hears my thoughts, Lane looks over his shoulder and smirks at me. "Don't worry princess, i'll get changed in the bathroom."

I roll my eyes and turn back to the TV, which is playing a trailer for this random show. What a dick. He laughs to himself as he walks into the bathroom and closes the door behind him.

I let out a breath that i didn't even know i was holding. Why do i let myself get so worked up over this man?

He's out within two minutes, some sweatpants over his shorts and a black shirt on his torso. Can't say i'm not a little dissapointed.

"I- i need to go do something, i'll be back later." He vaguely explains and i nod.

With that, he walks out the door, the sound of it clicking behind him.

♡♡♡

It's been an hour since Lane left. Now it's 7:50, so i decide to head down to the hot tub. It's outdoors, which makes no sense because it's literally minus degrees in France right now. I pull a sweatshirt and some baggy joggers on over my bikini, pull my hair up into a high ponytail and sling my towel over my shoulder.

I pull the door shut behind me as i walk out the room. I turn on my heels and begin to walk down the hallway to the main exit, but not before i catch something in my peripheral view. Someone... Lane.

He steps backwards out of someones dorm, running a hand through his hair. I slow down a little waiting to see who.

As he steps back, the shadow of the other person becomes smaller until they're stood in the doorway. My heart drops. A cloud of brown curls appears from behind the door frame. Of course.

I turn away and continue walking to the rest of the class. How could i be so stupid. Of course he's still sleeping with Mia, it's not like i confessed my love for him or anything. I knew he wasn't serious, he's just been messing with me this whole time. Whatever, at least i didn't tell him, now i can pretend my feelings for him don't exist.

My eyes brim with tears as i step out the door, i'm not sure if i'm crying or if the wind is making my eyes water, but i wipe my eyes before anyone else can see.

The students that are already here are in the tub, sitting and talking while sipping on some pink liquid, splashing each other or laying back and relaxing with their eyes closed.

I hang my towel on the rack between a green towel and a yellow one, before pulling my sweatshirt over my head and kicking off my bottoms. A few boys that i met the other day whistle as they watch me. I hate men. I'm wearing a black bikini with spaghetti straps; i don't blame them to be honest, i look hot as fuck.

Scanning my eyes over the class, i spot Kenny. I spoke to him on the first day, he's so sweet. He's sat on his own, looking around, but his glasses are steamed up from the tub. He's so precious.

I climb the steps and walk in to the water, instant heat shooting up my body. It's heavenly. I wade through over to him.

"Hey Kenny!" I emerge the rest of my body in the beautifully heated liquid as i sit down beside him.

He turns around in confusion, then jumps when he sees me.

"Oh! Hey Jules! Wow, you look great!" he gives me a crooked grin and i laugh.

"Thanks Ken, so do you!"

We make small talk for a while, me explaining the avalanche incident i had on the first day, him telling me about how he almost impaled someone that had fallen over with his ski stick this morning. I laugh at that one a little too hard, but he doesn't seem to mind.

Kenny is adorable. He's so pure and genuine, his future girlfriend is so lucky.

"Okay, but tuna bake or mac and cheese?" I ask.

He puts his hand to his chin, in thought for a moment. "It's gonna have to be tuna bake, it trumps all."

"Fuck yeah!" I shout, making him laughs as i high five him.

"Yo, Carter."

I look up to see Lane walking towards us and my smile falls. The feelings resurface as i remember what i saw earlier and a lump forms in my throat. I turn back to Kenny and he gives me a questioning look, wondering why i ignored him. I shake my head ever so slightly and thankfully he picks up on it, continuing our conversation about pasta.

I feel the water slosh slightly as Lane sits down beside me. Mia walks out the exit door in a bright red bikini, looking as elegant as ever. Why would he like me over her in the first place, she has everything.

Lane snakes his arm around my waist beneath the water, my skin a thousand degrees hotter than the tub under his touch. He brings his face close to mine, resting his chin on my shoulder.

"Hey. What's up?" he breathes into my neck. I squeeze my eyes shut. Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry.

Yeah, no i can't do this. I open my eyes and let out a breath. Mouthing a quick 'sorry' to Kenny, i shrug Lane off and get to my feet, walking to the side of the tub. I swing my legs over and hop out, grabbing my towel and making a bee-line to the door.

"Jules!" I hear Lane call out to me but i run through the doors, toward the stairs.

I'm still dripping wet and haven't bothered to wrap myself with my towel; it's freezing.

A hand grips my wrist as i march onward, halting me in my tracks.

"Carter." Lane says softly as i turn to face him.

His chest is rising and falling heavily as he catches his breath. He never gets out of breath from running.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" I breath, still trying and failing to hold back my tears. A single one slides down my cheek and i watch the fear rise in his eyes as he watches it fall.

"What are you talking about?" he looks from one eye to another, completely oblivious.

"Do you get some sort of kick out of playing with my feelings?" I can't stop myself now. "Like, i know you play with girls, but i'm supposed to be your friend."

"Jules, i am so confused right now." he frowns.

I snatch my wrist that he's still holding out of his hand. "I saw you earlier!"

Lane scrunches up his face. Is he really still trying to play dumb?

"Ugh, you can't just go making out with someone one day and hooking up with the someone else the next." More tears fall down my face and i mentally kick myself for crying in front of him.

He's still wearing the look of confusion on his face. He's really going to make me spell it out for him.

"I saw you and her. I saw you leave her room." I whisper.

Lane continues to look confused for a moment, before the realisation finally settles in. About time.

He looks at me for a moment, then he laughs.

I didn't think my heart could drop anymore, but it just did. I spin on my heels and turn around, desperate to get back to the hotel room before i break down in front of him.

Just as i do, Lane grips my bicep, holding me in place again.

"Woah, woah, Jules wait. It's not what you thin-"

"Of course it isn't, it's never what i think." I cut him off.

"No really, i went there to-"

"Are you kidding me? I don't wanna know what you went there to do!" I cut him off again.

"No Jules, i-"

" I mean, it would've hurt but i would accept it." third time.

"Accepted what?" he frowns.

"You could've just told me you liked her. It's your life and-" This time, i'm the one cut off.

"Fuck Carter! I don't like her, i like you!" he cries out.

My eyes widen.

Oh.

♡♡♡