From the tumblr of little-otp-things: Who talks smack while playing video games?

***

Tony plucked two controllers out of the box and handed one to Ziva.

She eyed it suspiciously, turning it over in her hands. "I am supposed to drive with this?"

"Yeah. It's easy." He showed her how to hold it sideways. "You put your thumb on this button for gas, and you can move it to this button for brakes. Keep your other thumb here, and your index finger here in case you get powerups."

"Powerups?"

"You know, like blue shell takes out whoever's in first place, ghostie guy slimed everyone but you, mushrooms give you extra speed, star makes you invincible? There's lot of others, too, but I can see it doesn't really make a difference if I explain or not..."

She just stared at him blankly.

"Okay, well, it's pretty easy. You'll get the hang of it."

"If you say so."

He walked over to the couch and got comfortable. Ziva still hadn't moved, so he patted the cushion next to him.

As soon as she was seated, he started the game up. "Okay, so here you have to pick a character." He quickly selected Mario, his go-to Italian guy.

He glanced over at Ziva, who was staring at the TV with her brow furrowed.

"How about you just pick him." He used his controller to highlight Yoshi.

Ziva sighed and selected the green critter.

"Now you can pick a vehicle, so just click on through until you find something you like."

After they made their choices, they had to pick automatic or manual (Tony suggested manual) and then they were taken to the race track screen.

"Which course do you want to try first?"

"I do not care. You pick."

"Fine. I'll take it easy on you for the first race." He selected Yoshi Falls, the easiest track. It was just a big circle.

They were immediately transported to the track, complete with the sounds of rushing water and roaring engines.

"When it gets to one-"

"Go!" To his surprise, Ziva's little car shot forward at the bell. How on earth did she know the cheat for that?

He shook his head and put his game face on. First race or not, he wasn't going to give her a victory.

***

A wild grin was plastered on Ziva's face as she released the red shell. It flew ahead and crashed right into the back if Tony's car. He spun out, almost hitting a cow.

"What the heck?"

"You snooze, you lose!" Her car shot past him, taking his place in second.

"Are you sure you haven't played this before?" he asked. She was suspiciously good at it for a beginner.

"I am sure."

He sighed as his car slipped up on the banana she dropped.

"For someone so cocky, I was expecting you to be better at this," Ziva said.

"Are you trash-talking me?"

"Am I?" She tossed another banana, catching him again. "Maybe you should get your ears checked to be sure. And your eyes."

She was!

Game on.

He got a blue shell on his next die catch, but he held onto it until Ziva passed up Walugi for first place. Then he let it fly.

Ziva shouted something in Hebrew when her car was immersed in a blue explosion.

He didn't want to know what she said.

"That's what happens when you get cocky," he said. "You should've taken my mistake to heart, Zee-vah."

"Look who is talking!"

He was only virtual feet from the finish line when his car was hit by a blue shell. He didn't even have to look at Ziva's screen or hear her laughing to know who did it.

"You are a horrible player, Ziva David."

"I learned from the best," she said, leaning into him and batting her eyes.

"So you think you can take me?"

"I know I can take you. Game or no game." She smiled.

"You leave me no choice." He selected the most-feared, most-hated track of them all: Rainbow Road.

Ziva snickered seeing the name.

"You laugh now, but you won't be laughing as you plummet through the galaxy."

"There is no gravity in outerspace," she said, completely straightfaced. "Therefore, your insult is invalid."

Okay, he wanted to be mad, but her comeback was too funny.

He hid a smile as they watched the countdown. She was no match for Rainbow Road, even with her driving skills. This track required familiarity and a lot of luck. Even then, it was close to impossible to stay on the track the entire race.

Sure enough, he fell off the track within seconds of starting. Stupid Donkey King sideswiped him.

"Tragic," Ziva muttered, though her eyes remained glued to her own screen.

No way he was going to let her beat him.

He went for another rainbow die, only to swerve a little too close to the edge. He fell off again.

"I am glad you do not drive like that in real life," Ziva commented.

"Okay, well, we're racing in outer space, on a rainbow, which isn't even a concrete thing you could drive on, so your insult is invalid." He fumbled through it, knowing it was a cringey response, but Ziva still laughed at him.

Probably more because of how stupid it was than anything else.

The next two laps dragged on (but not in the usual sense, because there's nothing boring about falling off a shimmering road suspended in outer space).

His nerves became more and more frazzled as he watched Ziva move up the rankings, one spot at a time. If she won, he would never hear the end of it.

He got three mushrooms and knew they were his only chance at salvaging this race.

Now or never.

He used them all, rapidly accelerating up to second place. If he could get just a little closer, he could maybe beat her.

His thumb tightened over the gas button, even though he was already going as fast as he could go with that car.

"Come on, come on," he whispered.

As if by magic, he found himself right next to Ziva's car, but something was wrong.

She was laughing. Like, hysterically laughing.

Before he could even start to ask, both of their cars went up in blue flames. All the other racers flooded past them.

"You suck," he said, crossing the finish line in 12th.

She couldn't seem to stop laughing. "If I go down, I am taking you with me."

"Is that so?" he asked as she leaned in.

"Mmhmm."

*****

Aw. I really liked writing this one.

So I don't know if y'all have noticed, but it's kind of been a struggle to write these. I need an actual story to write. A plot line. If you have any ideas, feel free to message me. I would be thrilled to credit you.

Anyway... Thanks for sticking with me as I struggle, hahaha.

Vote if you liked this, vote if you didn't. Just kidding.