《There's Nothing Without You (Under editing)》35. His pain and Her cure
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Swara was sitting silently immersed in her thoughts and thinking about Laksh words. Laksh also came there and call Swara.
Laksh: Swara.
Swara who was in her own world didn't heard it.
Laksh again called her little loudly and touched her shoulder. Swara came out of her thoughts and sees Laksh.
Laksh: What happened? Where are you?
Swara nodded nothing.
Laksh: you are thinking about Bhai right?
Swara look at him confused but then nodded.
Laksh: Everything will be fine Swara and anyways I m just thinking that he knows the truth. It may be possible. I m not confirmed. You only think, from where he would know anything? so relax.
Swara nodded but she was still not satisfied.
Laksh: Now let's go.
Swara (confused and signed): Where?
Laksh : (smile) Hospital obviously, and what will you do here sitting alone and taking tension about Bhai. It will be better if you will be with him.
Swara: Thanks for understanding.
Laksh: No need to thank me. Now let's go.
Swara:But Arshit?
Laksh: Take him also. He will come back with mom.
Swara thought for a moment then thought it will be better to take arshit as Sujatha can't handle him.
They informed Sujatha and then left for hospital.
Hospital;
Laksh: Swara, you go inside. I m coming after parking.
Swara nods and she goes inside. She directly went to Sanskar ward and found Sanskar was sitting with support of bed closing his eyes.
Ap saw her and say: Swara beta.
Sanskar opened his eyes as he heard her name and found Swara standing with Arshit.
Ap: Swara, why did you came back? You could have rest na and come in evening.
Swara just smiled at her.
Ap also understands her that she was worried about Sanskar so she didn't say anything else.
Ap: Anyway, it's good you come but wait, did you come alone?
Swara (sign): No, Laksh have also come.
Ap: Ok.
Then Uttara saod: Badi maa actually, I have to go to college. My Friend called me and told that today is last day to submit assignment. I could have ignored but it's really important and bhabhi also came, so can I go?
Ap: It's ok beta, you go to college. Anyway, Swara is here now.
Uttara nods and left.
Swara looked at Sanskar but Sanskar turned his face away to look other side as guilt again took over him. Swara was hurt watching it. She has fear that he knows about Kavita but Laksh was also right. How will he know. It may be something else.She thought to talk to him once AP will go.
After sometime, Doctor came to check Sanskar and nurse gave him medicine. Due to medicine effect, Sanskar slept.
It was 7'o' clock now. Dp and Ram also came to see Sanskar but he was under medicine effect. So, they just leave after sometime. Ap also left with them taking Arshit with her.
Laksh also came back. He went with Uttara to drop her and then he went to office for some work. Now only Laksh and Swara were there and Sanskar was sleeping.
Laksh: Did you talk to Bhai?
Swara nodded no.
Laksh: Hmm, don't worry. When he will wake up then we will talk to him together and short out whatever it is.
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Swara nodded looking at Sanskar.
Laksh: You be here. I will bring something for you to eat.
Swara tried to deny him but Laksh said.
Laksh: No, don't try to stop. I know you didn't take yesterday dinner and today morning also. You ate just for name sake. So, now eat and other thing is that I m also hungry( laughs)
Swara also smiled at him and nodded.
Laksh left.
After Laksh left, Swara looked at Sanskar. She got up from couch and walked to Sanskar. She sat on bed and took his hand in hers and caressed it. Her eyes were still focused on him. She was dying to talk to him. She knew that he was disturbed or hurt about something but exactly what, she could not figure out. Still, she definitely don't want the reason as what she is thinking. She wanted him to let out his feelings. She can't handle his ignorance any more. The way he avoid his eye contact to her,its killing her from inside.
Sanskar feels someone's touch and opened his eyes only to see Swara sitting beside him. Swara finds him awake and smiled at him but her smile faded when Sanskar again turned his face and tried to take his hand.
Swara was having enough of it. So, she didn't leave his hand instead she hold it more tightly. Sanskar noticed it and said: Leave my hand Swara.
Swara seems unaffected and still holding his hand.
Sanskar who feel no movement of her to leave his hand look at her and say: What are you doing Swara? Leave my...(Stopped as he saw tears in her eyes)
A fear raised in Swara's heart that he was again going far away from her. So, her eyes filled with tears. He couldn't see her tears. It was affecting him. It affects him damn much. He had already done enough damage and given her enough pain and tears. He felt weak watching his tears. He stopped jerking her hand and didn't said anything.
He tried to get up and sit but couldn't so Swara helped him and made him sit properly with support of bed. Sanskar was looking at her all the while. Swara wiped her tears avoiding his gaze.
Sanskar: What happened Swara? Why are you crying?
Swara look at him:( sign) Why are you ignoring me? What happened?
Sanskar: It's nothing Swara. I was not feeling well so...
Swara stopped him from saying further.
Swara: Don't lie. I m noticing this since morning when maa came. Why are doing it? Are we not friends? Tell me, what is bothering you and tell me the truth.
Sanskar (finally speak): What do you want to know Swara? truth?? Which truth? The truth that you hide from me since two years!!!
Swara looked at him shocked. Her fear what she never wanted to happen in worst nightmare has turned true. Her hold loosen from his hand.
Sanskar: Shocked? Well that should be for me right? After knowing the truth that you tried every way to stop me to find out.
Swara knew very well what he was talking about but she tries to avoid it.
Swara (fake confused look): What are you talking about?
Sanskar :(straight) I know the truth Swara. I KNOW EVERYTHING!! About Kavita, about whatever she has done to you, about her betrayal. ( Hurt)
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Swara was about to say something but Sanskar said: Not again Swara. Atleast not this time. Don't try to hide it more when I know it already. You said we are friends right? But friends do not hide things from each other. I m worst Swara. I always hurt you. Why did you hide it from me Swara? You should have told me everything and punish me. You Should have let me suffer like I m suffering right now. I m wrong and I was always wrong. Wrong in choosing a person. Wrong in trusting someone, wrong in knowing what's wrong and what's right but you know what swara the thing is. The main thing is that I m wrong. A totally wrong person. I destroyed your and your family's life. You should hate me Swara. Why do you care for me? Why?
Tears made their way from his eyes.
Swara was just listening to him with tears. She couldn't do anything. She was feeling helpless right now. Helpless to see her love suffering, to see him in Pain. She could not hold herself and hugged him.
Sanskar tried to break the hug but Swara tighten the grip more and hugged him closing her eyes. She tried to sooth him. To let him know that she is with him. Finally Sanskar give up and hugged her closing his eyes tightly.
Sanskar (cried): Why she did that Swara? I loved her so much and she... She did all that. I kept hating you for everything that you never did. When I come to know that it was not you but someone else. I wanted to destroy that person who did all that but now, I don't know what to do after knowing that it was Kavita. I m hating myself Swara. I just hate myself for whatever I did to you. Please punish me Swara.
Swara broke the hug and looked at him. She nodded no.
Swara: No, I can't punish you. It was Kavita's mistake. You loved her and that's why you trusted her. Please don't blame yourself.
Sanskar: Yes, you are right I loved her but love doesn't teach us to destroy other's life, to make other's life hell. Whatever I did to you was totally unforgivable. It's good that I met with accident and it would have been much better if I died there only...
Swara instantly placed her hand to stop him to say further with sudden fear and scared look. She nodded no.
Sanskar looked at her. They have a painful eyelock. Sanskar slowly removed her hand.
Sanskar: Why are you so good Swara? How can you see everything in completely different way? Why don't you hate me? Why didn't you punish me?
Swara wiped his tears: Because I can never do it. You had already suffered. I told you earlier also that I want to move on from my past and live in present. We can't move on till we live in past.
Sanskar looked at her intently.
Swara: Likewise, you also have to move on. Come out of your guilt Sanskar.
Sanskar: But Swara, whatever Kavita did...
Swara: (holding his hand) Forget that. Forget whatever she did. She is no more Sanskar. So, don't hate her. You loved her now if you will hate her. She will not be in peace if she will see her love is guilty for her deeds. Loving someone is not easy as hating. We need just small thing or misunderstanding to hate someone but love... It's not easy. Kavita was your love. Just forgive her and come out of this shell of guilt. Because I can't see you feeling guilty again and again.
She took his hand and placed it on her head and signed through one hand: Promise me, you won't think about it ever. You will never feel guilty.
Sanskar (tears seeing her care) : Swara I...
Swara (keeping her finger on lips): Yes or no.
Sanskar nodded and pull Swara in hug.
Sanskar: Thanks Swara, Thank you so much Swara for being with me. I promise, I will never think about it. Thank you so much.
He hide his face in her hair, hugging her tightly and closing his eyes. Swara also hugged him back closing her eyes.
Swara (monologue): I love you Sanskar and I can't let you suffer more. I don't know if you ever love me back but I will always love you.
They were hugging suddenly Laksh come inside.
Laksh (coming inside): Swara, Here it.... (Stopped as he saw them hugging each other)
Swara Sanskar who were in their world, open their eyes and composed themselves.
Laksh (murmured): Perfect, once again I have great timing. One Side, I want them together and other side, it's me only who is disturbing their romance all the time. Amazing Laksh!!!
Sanskar sees him standing and murmuring to himself.
Sanskar: Lucky?
Laksh came into his sense.
Laksh: Yes Bhai.
Sanskar: What happened? Why are you standing like that and what are you talking to yourself?
Laksh: What me? Nothing. What will happen to me. Actually, I came with food. Swara, take it.
Swara nodded. She took it and keep it on table then went to washroom to get fresh.
Laksh sat on chair beside Sanskar.
Laksh: So, how are you?
Sanskar (smile): I m truly feeling better now.
Laksh: (confused) What do you mean?
Sanskar remembered his promise to Swara that he will never think about it.
Sanskar: Nothing leave it.
Laksh: But I think there is something.
Sanskar knew that Laksh will not leave it like this so he said: I know everything about Kavita, Laksh.
Laksh: I m sorry Bhai. I wanted to tell you everything but...
Sanskar: I know Swara must have stopped you and you care for me. It's ok. I understand.
Laksh: Are you not angry?
Sanskar: I was. But not now. I have promised Swara that I will not think about it anymore.
Laksh: And Kavita?
Sanskar: I don't know Laksh. It will take sometime.
Laksh: I m so happy Bhai. You handled yourself.
Sanskar: Not me. It's Swara who handled me. I might have lost myself but she became my strength. She took me out of guilt. Seriously Laksh, she is really special.
Laksh smiled at him.
Then Swara came out. She arranged food for herself and Laksh. They have their dinner. Sanskar was admiring her all the while.
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