《There's Nothing Without You (Under editing)》25. Forgiveness and friendship
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Sanskar was looking at her and feeling more guilty. Suddenly, he jerk his hand out of her hand and was about going when swara forcefully made him sit and glared at him. She saw tears in his eyes and got confused.
Sanskar noticed her questioning look and turned his face away from her. Swara gets confused more. Why he was crying?
Swara (monologue): Why is he crying? May be because I shout on him yesterday? What? But why will he cry for this? And this injury? I m sure he hurt himself? But why?
Swara did his first aid and got up to go but Sanskar hold her hand. Swara got shocked when Sanskar held her hand but she didn't turn and stay like that only.
Sanskar: Will you ever forgive me Swara? Will you ever able to do it? I, myself can't able to forgive myself for what I did? (Chocked)
Swara got confused about what he was asking. Then she thought he must be talking about yesterday incident. She turned to him and then looked at Arshit.
Sanskar looked at her, then remembered about yesterday's incident and said.
Sanskar: I m sorry Swara for whatever happened yesterday. I promise, I will never do like that again. From now on you are qnd you will be the first person to take any decision about Arshit. I know, I have done so many mistakes that you won't able to trust my words but I assure you that, it will never happen again. I have only Arshit for whom I m living and I swear on him that I will keep my words.
Swara look at him shockingly. How did he realize it so easily.
Sanskar was about to talk to her about what he get to know last night but couldn't and left to washroom without saying anything.
Swara (monologue): What was that? Sanskar asked sorry that too from me. He don't even talk to me properly and he... He realized his mistake but how? Why I m seeing totally different Sanskar today? He was not like this before and why did he say that he have done so many mistakes. Is there anything that he is hiding.?
Swara was thinking more and getting more confused. Ap called her so, she went out of her room meanwhile Arshit woke up and started crying finding no one. Just then Sanskar came out of washroom and saw him . He calmed him and after getting ready he went downstairs with Arshit.
Swara was working in kitchen but suddenly she remembers that she have to wake up Arshit. She told Ap and was going towards her room but Sanskar already came downstairs. He saw her and went to her and give Arshit to her.
Sanskar: Actually, he was crying. So, I took him here.
Swara nodded with confused look.
After that, Sanskar have his breakfast and left for his office too early.
At night, Sanskar came late and went directly to his room. Swara was awake till now. She went out of room and came with a plate of food. She put the plate on the table. Meanwhile Sanskar also came out of washroom and saw the food on the table. He thought to avoid the food but got a message on his phone.
" Please eat your dinner and sleep, Laksh said you didn't have your lunch also. So, Maa told me to give you"
Sanskar smiled sadly thinking this girl is still thinking about him. He looked at Swara who was reading book and caressing Arshit's hair who was sleeping.
Sanskar: It's ok Swara, I m not feeling to eat.
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Then again his phone beeps.
"Have your food then sleep or else I have to wake Chachi ji"
Sanskar thinks about Sujatha. If she came then she will start her drama and he was not having energy to see all that. So, he sighed and sat on the couch to have dinner.
He was about to eat but then noticed his right hand is hurt. He started to eat with left hand.
Swara notice this and remembered that Sanskar took only juice in the morning and didn't eat anything. She wanted to help him but didn't know how to do it. She was hesitate a bit but feared too. What if Sanskar takes this in wrong way. She looked at him again. He was getting problem in eating with left hand.
Without thinking much, she finally got up and went to him. She sat beside him. Sanskar got confused seeing her.
Swara signed something to him but Sanskar didn't understand. So, swara slowly do her actions pointing to spoon, food and him.
Sanskar now got her that she wanted to help him but he refused to take her help.
Sanskar: It's ok, you can sleep Swara. I will handle. (Avoid to look at her)
Swara was once again confused. He always talk to her in full confident tone as if ordering her but now he is avoiding her and tone is not less than a request. Still she jerked her thoughts and took spoon from his hand.
Sanskar: Swara what..?
Before he can say anything Swara put a spoon full of rice in his mouth. He looked at her but Swara pretended that she is busy in her phone which was in other hand. Sanskar comes out of trance when his phone again beeps.
" Eat silently, I have Arshit who do enough drama while eating"
Sanskar chuckle reading it and Swara smiled too but hides it. Sanskar noticed it but didn't said anything. Suddenly he think about yesterday.
Sanskar: Swara, um.. di.. did you? Did you forgive me for yesterday incident? I mean...
Swara looked at him and nodded.
Sanskar: Why? How can you trust me?
Swara gets confused. Why he is saying like that. She again feed him.
Then she pointed him and arshit andd crossed her hand showing their connection and assurance.
"You are his father. I know whatever you said today morning was truth. I can see it in your eyes. (Pointing toward his eyes). And I know you will never break this promise. And lastly, I m sorry, I over reacted. (Pointing herself )
Sanskar: No Swara, Don't say sorry. Infact, I m the one who should say sorry to you and thanks for forgiving me for yesterday. Atleast, I got forgiveness for my one mistake but don't know how to ask forgiveness for those things which I have done two years ago.
Swara looked at him and then realized his words. The Spoon dropped from her hands. She look at him shockingly.
Sanskar: Yes Swara, I know that you are innocent.
Swara hands started shivering. She started sweating. Now she got that why Sanskar said " Will you ever able to forgive me? I m not able to forgive myself for what I did." and " I have done so many mistakes." It was not for yesterday incident. She instantly got up and went toward window.
Sanskar: Why did you do this Swara? Why did you hide it from me? Why didn't you tell me that you are innocent? It's good that Laksh told me everything laat night otherwise I would have lived with my misconception that you were responsible for everything.
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Swara was having tears in her eyes. She remembered everything what happened two years back and start crying. Sanskar saw this and come to know that she was crying. He went to her and put his hand on her shoulder but Swara instantly jerked his hand and turned to him.
Swara was crying bitterly.
She signed showing her hand as asking: What would I have said that I m innocent.(Pointing herself) and you would have accepted it? What would I have said when I only didn't know that who did all that. I came to know on your marriage night only. She only confessed everything to me. You just did what you think was right but do you have Any idea, how I felt that time? How my baba felt when yoi put those false allegations on me?
Sanskar also have tears in his eyes. He go close to her and hold her face gently.
Sanskar: I know I was wrong. I m feeling so ashamed of myself. I am hating myself for what I did. I know I can never feel what you felt that day but will you ever able to forgive me? I m sorry swara. I m sorry. I never tried to understand you. You were innocent and I did all that with you. Even after that I continued to hate you still you didn't say anything Swara Why?
Swara nodded no. She was just crying.
Sanskar: I m your culprit Swara. You don't need to forgive. You Should punish me. I had hurt an innocent soul like you. May be that why god snatched my Kavita from me. If we give pain to someone then we also have to suffer from the pain. May be that's why he gave me punishment for my sin. You Should also punish me.(Cried)
He fell on his knees and folded his hand. Swara look at him and got shocked. She also kneel down and hold his hand.
Sanskar: I m sorry Swara. I m sorry.(with tears)
Swara nodded no. She hld his face gently.
She try to sign something and tell him something but he was not ready to look at her and continuously saying sorry. Not knowing anything, She hugged him to stop him saying that and to her surprise Sanskar also hugged her back. She felt she found peace at that moment and closed her eyes. She caressed his back soothingly. After sometime, when he calm a bit Swara broke the hug and wiped his tears.
She got that he will not understand her, if she will tell through her sign language as he is not in his sense now. So, she firstly made him stand up and made him sit on the couch. She went to get something. After few min, She came and sit beside him. She gave him a paper.
Sanskar took that and read. He remembered how he met Swara first time when she gave him letter to say she can't speak.
" Sanskar, I know you are feeling guilty and hating yourself but it's not the solution for this. I can't deny that whatever you did hurt me but I also can't deny that whatever you did was because of your love. You trusted Kavita. It's obvious that when we love someone. We trust them more than ourselves and then there I was. I was just a stranger for you then how could you have trusted me? Whatever happened can't be changed but why should we let our past affect our present or future. If I will say that I have forgotten all that totally then it will be wrong totally because I didn't. But atleast I didn't let my past decide my future. Because if it would be like that then I would have never married you.
Sanskar read this and look at her.
Sanskar: Still Swara...
Swara put her finger on his lips and then point towards the Letter to continue reading.
Sanskar read further "Mistake can be done by anyone Sanskar but to accept it is done by only few. You didn't only accept it but also ready for punishment. You asked me, will I ever able to forgive you? Let's leave about forgiveness. Yoi said na, I should punish you. Then ok, I will punish you but before that you have to promise something." Letter ends.
Sanskar look at her.
Sanskar: What promise Swara?
Then Sanskar phone beeps again.
" That you will trust me now onwards. You will never doubt on me. Will you promise me this?"
Sanskar nodded with tearful eyes.
Sanskar: I promise Swara. I will trust you in every situation and never doubt on you. I also promise that I will bear any punishment you will give me.
Swara nodded and again send a message: your punishment is to accept my friendship. Will you accept it? I know I m mute but you have to accept this mute girl as your freind. Because to do friendship with me is not less than a punishment nd secondly...
Sanskar looked at her while she was smiling with tears. He can feel she was hurt while saying this.
She signed toward his hurt hand and sign that she can't punish him.
"I can't punish a person who is punishing himself. So, this is the only punishment I can give you".
Sanskar: How can you forgive me so easily Swara? Why are you so nice?
Swara smiles: Cause I also want to come out of that memory snd if I won't forgive you now then I will never able to move on from that day.
Sanskar immediately hugged her tightly and says.
Sanskar (closed eyes): You will Swara. You will move on from that day. I promise. And being your friends is not any punishment Swara. It's blessing. It's my back luck that I couldn't understand last time. You are perfect Swara without and you have most beautiful heart.
Sanskar closed his eyes. He was unknowingly feeling heavenly in her embrace. Swara's heartbeat starts racing. She also closed her eyes but to calm her nerves. After sometime, Sanskar comes in sense and separate himself from her.
Sanskar: um.. I..I m sorry. I didn't know..
Swara also looked away and nodded.
Sanskar wiped his tears and said : Okay ,I think we should sleep now. It's late now.
Swara also nods and went to her side.
Sanskar also go to his side nd lie down.
Sanskar: Swara, How did you get to know that it was Smita who did all that. Did she confessed that she did all that?
Swara got confused hearing Smita name but nodded at him.
Swara (monologue): Who is Smita?(Suddenly thinks something) oh god!! that means Laksh told him some story that it's all done by Smita. I have to talk to him.
Sanskar: I m sorry. I shouldn't have asked you.
Swara heard him and looked at him and nodded no.
Sanskar: okay good night. (Smiled at her)
Swara also smile and nodded. Sanskar slept but Swara was thinking something.
Swara (monologue): Why did Laksh tell him like that? But however, it is good that he doesn't know about Kavita still, what Laksh has blabbered?
She was lost in her thoughts.
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