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ONE.

do not let the cute barista who works at your favourite coffee shop catch your attention. studying there will get boring at times, but never let yourself drift away from your homework and steal glances of the girl who never stops smiling. make it your mission to not repeat her name, jeon heejin, in your head over and over again.

please do not focus too much on her smooth voice as she asks you for your order almost every day. do not try to replay her voice in your head when you can't sleep at night.

try to forget the way her eyes light up every time she sees you, don't try to memorize her bright smile that is always stretched on her cheeks.

and please, while you're at it, don't don't look into the eyes of the of the barista who laughs at your bad jokes when you pick up your order from the counter.

TWO.

avoid seeing her at that one high school party your friends dragged you to and please don't let them properly introduce you to her.

if your encounter with her is inevitable, try not to sit across her and not to look at her face during the whole ordeal. her face will look even more beautiful up close, even with dark circles under her eyes, you will still be mesmerized. make an effort to not make too much eye contact with her when she asks you about your opinion, because her soft gaze will melt you.

and her eyes will look so beautiful that blue won't be your favourite colour anymore. do not let her eyes become your favourite colour

do not let her smooth singing voice be the only thing that calms you down after your second panic attack at the coffee shop. she'll tell you to relax, to not study so much because that's what's making you so stressed.

she'll finish her shift early just to make sure you're okay, she will walk you home and your fingers will be intertwined under the sunset sky.

you will ask her to come inside but she will politely decline and kiss your check.

remove the memory of her soothing voice singing "i've waited all this week, for you to walk my way; your soul will capture me" and do not, for your sake, try to replay the song in your head at night.

her voice will become your lullaby, do not let that happen.

FOUR.

never build houses out of people.

she will make you feel safe, her embrace will become your security blanket. she will tell you all about her dreams, and how one day she hopes to have a future with you; and you will tell her about yours, about how much you are looking forward to listening to every song she composes

and how you want to be there for her until the end.

she will become your home and you should have known that people come and go, and eventually, she will leave just like everybody else.

your home will no longer be there when you want to sleep. you will be left with nothing but dust and the memory of her kissing you and telling how much you mean to her. please remember this and keep it in your head.

you don't want to be homeless, do you?

FIVE.

her promises will mean nothing when she moves away for her music career.

do not think that they can save your relationship from breaking.

she promised it wouldn't be too difficult and that she'd visit you from time to time.

almost half a year later and you

finally move in with her (just as you promised before she left). her eyes will be so dull on that day, like the sparks she once had in her eyes wherever she saw you are all suddenly gone. she will not kiss you the same way and she will be too exhausted to do anything you promised you'd do.

she might promise you many other things and you will fall in love with her all over again.

but please, never hold on to what she says.

SIX.

let her go when she tells you it's over.

when that day comes, you will cry a lot. you will let out ugly sobs in front of her in her apartment. she won't brush way stray hair covering your face and wipe away the endless stream of tears falling from your sad eyes.

she will call a taxi for you but you will be to weak to refuse or be angry with her. she'll give you a quick hug and mutter an "i'm sorry" before letting you leave.

the taxi driver will look at you with pity when you sob your heart out in the back seat, but you will be okay.

perhaps you'll find your way back to her, when there is less weight on her shoulders and she's finally happy with the person she's become.

even if fate doesn't let that happen, you will be okay. despite the empty ache in your chest, you will be glad you listened to her music, her deepest thoughts.

despite it all, you were fortunate to have felt what it was like to love and be loved by the ever-smiling barista who worked at your favourite coffee shop.