I groan loudly as the call goes straight to voicemail yet again. I decide to give up as I throw the phone in the back seat of the car, focusing on getting home as quickly as I could.

I messed up.

Again - Tobias growls angrily, reiterating what I already felt as I drove like a madman trying to get to Emitt as quickly as I could. How hard is it to just, I don't know.....TREAT HIM RIGHT!

I defend knowing it was a cowardice excuse.

You were too much of a bitch to realise that Emitt cares about you more than those things you call parents ever will! And now you may have lost him - He scolds harshly making my insides twist at the thought of Emitt leaving me. He had every right to at this point, I'd done nothing but hurt him over and over and over again.

I say knowing I was still wrong.

And you're brain can't multitask! You can't think and pick up the fucking phone! - I've never seen Tobias this mad before. He was usually the uplifting type, the one was supported me and shed light on dark situations and now he was yelling at me, emphasizing just how bad I messed up.

He'd told me repeatedly to call Emitt over the last few days, he tried to make me pick up the phone. At one point he got so desperate he tried to overpower me physically, neither of us understood why we cared so much for Emitt, especially Tobias but we'd accepted it and throughout the entire phone call when I finally listened and called, Tobias was whining and howling in pain at the agony that drowned Emitt's words.

Now because of you Christopher must hate me too! - Tobias growls as his anger grows even more, scaring me a bit as he lost control. I haven't even talked to him yet and he hates me!

I don't want to hear it Beckett - He growls before fading awake making the cut in my heart dig deeper.

God what have I done.....

----------------

I dial Emitt's number once I'm in pack lands again, it was a three hour drive but I wasn't even tired with the emotions that were running wild in my body.

The anxiety grows when he doesn't answer, I pull aside on the side of the roads. Sniffing the air as I try to find him as quickly as I can, when I don't get any hint of his scent I set back on the road deciding to go to his house.

Knocking on the door like a madman, my heart races as the smell of Emitt filled the area yet I knew he wasn't inside, it wasn't strong enough. The door swings open revealing a young woman who was no doubt the famous Lucy.

"Hi, I'm looking for Emitt." I say as she sucks on a red lollipop studying me carefully. "I'm the beta of th-"

"I know who you are." She says twirling the stick between her thin fingers. "Emmy is not here. Headed out last night for a party."

"Party?"

"Yeah. This place with booze and music, the French call it la fête and the Spanish c-"

"I know what a party is." I say ignoring the amused grin lacing her lips. "Did he go with Mickey?"

"Yup." She says popping the p. "Now if that's all officer, I have an intense new episode of Riverdale to get back to." She says before slamming the door in my face.

I don't waste another minute as I get back into my car yet again and set a new course towards Mickey's house. In moments like this I really wish I had his phone number.

"What the fuck....." The young boy groans as he opens his door lazily. Heavy bags were dragging his eyes down, his hair filled with grass and twigs, his clothes nonexistent as he scratched his head while glaring at me.

"Where's Emitt?" I say after coming to the realization that he wasn't here either.

"Quiet!" He hisses holding his head gently. "Haven't seen him since last night, he's probably passed out on a roof somewhere."

"I need to find him now."

"So you can hurt him some more?" He growls as he glares at me. "Tell me something, do you care about him? Truly? Because if this is a game of some sort end it now. You're putting him through so much shit and if it's not worth it, then stop it!"

"I'm serious about him." I say to his friend who seemed unconvinced. Of course he wouldn't be convinced, we'd been in this situation before. Me hurting Emitt and trying to fix it again. "I know I keep messing up and hurting him but I don't mean to, I don't want to hurt him."

"Then stop!" He shouts before holding his head painfully. "It's not hard to not hurt people."

"Just help me fix this." I beg as he grips the door tightly.

"I've helped you before and here we are again. Figure it out on your own." He says before closing the door gently.

Fuck!

-------------------

I drag my feet along the wood of the steps to my house after a full day of searching for Emitt coming up empty handed. I searched both pack lands thoroughly, all his favorite places, I even checked the school and the donut shop he worked in but he wasn't in any. He never answers his phone and I realized for a day what I put him through for weeks.

Entering my house, I switch on the lights, thankful to be alone as I made my way upstairs in despair.

Turning on the light in my room, my body stiffens when I see the small body sitting on my bed.

"Emitt?" I call in disbelief as he looks at me with blank eyes, completely emotionless, the usual sparkle in his eyes missing as I walked closer to him.

My joy gets the better of me as Tobias pushes me to hug him but Emitt stops me with an outstretched hand as he stands up, creating distance between us.

"I'm breaking up with you."

His words cause my muscles to tighten as the blood running through my veins dissipate, my heart's beating slowing down as I look at him in utter disbelief.

"If you don't tell me exactly what I want to know, I'm breaking up with you." He finishes watching me seriously as hope takes its way back into my chest.

"A-anything." I say still in a state of shock and paralysis at his threat.

"Where were you?" He begins, folding his arms as he looks at me with no emotions while all of mine flooded me at once.

"The meeting at first and then the woods." I say not daring to lie to him again.

"Why?"

"I needed time to think."

"About?"

"Us." This breaks through his walls a little as his harsh front wavers for a split second before returning immediately. "My parents said some things that made me realise that I've never thought about coming out with you and how people would react. I had a panic attack, I was scared out of my mind and I let my fears control me and I shut you out without thinking."

"That's why? That's why you ignored me? Because you were scared?" He questions with a tone I couldn't comprehend as I nod. "That's not enough Beckett."

"W-what?" I stutter as the fear returns of his threat becoming a reality.

"We're dating Beckett! You're supposed to talk to me about it, not shut me out!" He shouts, his anger seeping through the cracks of his walls. "I tell you everything!"

"I know. I know. I'm so sorry Emitt. I wasn't thinking." I say making him scoff. "If I could take it all back I would."

"Well you can't." He snaps revealing a new side of him I didn't recognize. "I spent two weeks trying to figure out where I went wrong, because I never allow myself to think it's you. I thought that I messed up. But I didn't, it was you." He seethes as he looks at me with unfriendly eyes that were as harsh as his words. "You keep hurting me and I keep forgiving you and then you hurt me again!"

"Jesus Emitt, I'm so sorry. I'll be better. I'll treat you better I promise. I can't lose you, please love." I say closing the space between us as I try to grab his hands but he slaps mine away. "I'm so sorry."

He watches me with joint eyebrows over eyes filled with rage that was directed towards me as he curled his firs tightly. I don't dare to break the eye contact or say another word as he glares at me. Slowly the deadly stare softens as his lip starts wobbling a bit and his eyes filled with unshed tears.

I pull him into my arms without a second thought as he beats against me to let him go, as if my hands on him were repulsive. Eventually he gives up as we slide down to the floor, him pounding lightly on my chest as he sobs uncontrollably sitting in my lap.

"You're the worst!" He shouts making my heart tighten as he continues to cry against me. "I wish I could hate you! I wish I could let you go!" He declares spitefully as I hug him tighter, not daring to let him go.

"I'm sorry." I whisper as he continues to cry against me. "I'm so sorry. I won't do it again."

"You will!" He sobs as he looks up at me with a tear stricken face matching the pain I'd caused him. His green eyes glistening with agony that I put there, the sight making my entire being flood with guilt and regret. "You always d-do, you're always s-sorry and then y-you.."

I'm at a lost for words as I look down at the beautiful creature that I've cause so much sorrow to yet again. I didn't deserve him. I didn't deserve the joy he gave to me without asking for anything in return.

I didn't deserve Emitt.

He pulls away suddenly making me panic as he stands to his feet.

"Wait do-"

"I'm not leaving." He says cutting me off as he wiped away his tears. He walks into the bathroom, shutting the door between us. I sigh as I sit on the edge of the bed, the sound of distant sobs ringing in my ears as Emitt suffers yet again because of me.

Tobias. I don't know what to do. - I call desperately as Emitt's cries get louder.

He says making my eyes widen in surprise. I give up the reigns as I let him push himself forward, hoping he'd held mend the thing I've broken.

--------------

I knock gently on the old wooden door that separated me from the sweetest guy ever, who's sobs turn to sniffs because of my presence.

"Emitt." I call gently. "This is Tobias."

"Hi." He says with a shaky voice after some time. "Nice way to m-meet huh?"

"I imagined something else." I say with a slight chuckle. "Can you come out or are you mad at me too?" The silence that follows answers my question. "I told Beckett to call you, I tried my best. Honest."

The door unlocks after some time before slowly creeping open revealing the beyond adorable guy I was so happy just looking at, though I wish his beautiful face wasn't covered in tears.

"Come here." I say opening my arms. He doesn't hesitate to run to me as he hugs me tightly, the connection making me complete as I carry him to the bed. Sitting down with him in my lap as I wipe away his tears to see his gorgeous face clearly. "I'm sorry Beckett is such an idiot."

"It's not your fault." He sniffs making me laugh at the fact that he didn't deny it. "Can he hear us?"

"Nope." I say with a weak smile as I run my hand up and down his back gently. "It's just me and you."

"Does Beckett like me? Does he actually like me or is this a joke?" He asks desperately as his lovely green eyes search mine for answers.

"Yes he does Emitt. What he feels for you doesn't compare to anyone else, what we feel for you." I correct making him blush a little putting a smile to my lips. "The way our feelings are growing for you isn't normal, we do truly care for you Emitt." I say praying he'd forgive us for our disgusting behavior as of late.

"What did his parents say?" He asks cautiously making me frown at the mention of those baboons. "That freaked him out so much."

"I rather not repeat such words." I say swallowing the hateful ones that threatened to come out. As much as I wanted to tell Emitt everything, he was still just a guy and Beckett's family issues ran deeper than our relationship with him. I wouldn't betray him like that, no matter how mad I was at him currently. "I'll knock some sense into him. Just give him one more chance please."

"Okay." He mumbles making me smile as I look down at him wanting nothing more but to kiss him. He senses this as I stare at his plump lips and blushes wildly, his heart racing a mile a minute as he averted his eyes. "I d-don't think we..."

"It's fine. I'll leave you...for now." I say rubbing his cheek as his looks up at me with those beautiful green orbs for eyes. "Do you mind if I talk to Christopher though?"

"Chris doesn't want to." He says making me frown, he may hold resentment towards me even if Emitt didn't.

"Does he hate me?"

"No!" Emitt exclaims quickly. "He's just a little....shy."

I chuckle as I lift Emitt's chin up as I look deep into his eyes, searching for the little glint in his eyes that was Christopher watching through him.

"You have nothing to nervous about." I say to him directly before pulling back as Emitt blinks a few times in surprise.

"He'll talk." He says after a moment making me smile as he closes his eyes for a bit.

Opening them again, a new light fills them as his eyes search around bit, looking at our position with a racing heart before they look at me again, his ears running a bright red. His heart was racing a mile a minute and he was fidgeting a little in my lap.

This was Christopher.

"Hello Christopher." I say smoothly, smiling at his reaction to seeing me. He was so fricking adorable I was already at his mercy and it hadn't even been a minute.

"H-h-hi." He stutters gripping my shirt a little as he bites his bottom lip nervously.

Oh fuck he's going to be the death of me!

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