I sigh as my call to Beckett goes straight to voicemail. He told me he'd call me but he never did, not for his entire trip. Never did he call or even text me and when I tried to reach him he never picked up.

To say I was worried would be an understatement, something was wrong, he'd always managed to text me at least once a day but I haven't heard from him in a week.

A whole fucking week!

His parents returned from the meeting three days later like they were supposed to except Beckett wasn't with them. I didn't understand why. He promised he'd be back in three days, three days that were painful on their own, especially with not being able to talk to him. But those days had passed and he never came home, I was too creeped out by his parents to even ask of his whereabouts. So I asked Isabel but she was in the dark like I was. Leaving only Julian.

Julian hated me. He hadn't said it to my face or even implied it but I could see it in his eyes. Hatred. I had absolutely no idea why, but I wasn't one for confrontation so I ignored it to the best of my abilities. I liked talking with people, being social, Julian seemed to like complete solitude making him my polar opposite but he was my last option.

I make my way up the stairs of the pack house, standing outside the Alpha Suite with growing nerves. I call Beckett one more time hoping he'd answer but it went straight to voicemail yet again. I sigh with a weakening heart before I knock on the large black doors, I hear some scuffling and laughter before the door swings open revealing a smiling Julian.

Holy fuck.

I don't think I've ever seen Julian smile, not like this anyway. His straight, pearly white teeth were in view as his golden locks cascaded down his shoulders. He looked angelic. Hot. He had this appearance of innocence that no doubt probably drove Aiden mad with lust.

However the smile immediately disappears as his eyes focus on me, being replaced with an annoyed flat glare as he crossed his arms.

"What do you want?" He growls making me gulp nervously, I should've stayed home.

"Who is it?!" Aiden calls from inside making his eyes brighten a little and his expression soften, no doubt because of his mate's voice.

"Emitt." Julian replies smoothly as he moves away from the door to let me in as Aiden rushes into the room. He smiles brightly at me as Julian walks towards him before cautiously tucking himself into Aiden's chest who carefully rests his arm around Julian's shoulder.

Alright, that's fucking cute - Chris says awing in my head as we look at the adjusting pair of mates.

"What can I help you with?" He asks with a warming smile as his shades rests comfortably on his nose.

"I actually came to talk to Julian." I say slowly making the couple's eyes widen in surprise.

"Why?" Julian says in clear annoyance that makes Aiden frown as he mumbles something to Julian who just rolls his eyes.

"It's about Beckett."

The mention of his friend makes him alert as he studies me carefully.

"He was supposed to come back days ago but he's not here. Can you tell me why?" I ask nervously as he continues to analyze me.

"Why do you want to know?" He asks with squinted eyes.

"Because we have to plan stuff together, both of us being betas now, and him bailing is messing shit up." I say lying through my teeth.

The real reason is because my boyfriend went Houdini on my ass and I'm already a nervous wreck when he's here so when he's not, it gets ugly.

"He said he needed some time to think, he went on a hunting trip. Wanted to spend time with just him, Tobias and nature." He explains before tucking himself back into Aiden's awaiting arms. "He'll be back soon enough."

"Okay." I say digesting the information that hit me like a bus. "Thanks."

"Look at you, being all social like a normal person." Aiden says jokingly but it only makes Julian scowl as he untangled himself from his mate. Aiden's smile immediately fades as he tries to say something to Julian who was already walking away, he turns to me with clear confusion as I sigh at his obliviousness.

"He's just not accostum to your type of humor, probably took it as an insult and as mates it must've hurt him a bit."

Aiden's eyes immediately flood with regret as he looks to where Julian went to buy made no move of going.

"You better get your ass in there before I make you Calderon." I threaten as he looks at the door.

"But he just mi-"

"I don't care. You know how many people would kill to be in situation, to have a m-" I stop myself from getting too worked up as he looks at me in shock and confusion. "Just go talk to him. I'll show myself out."

I leave without another word as I try to settle my growing frustration. I almost came out to my best friend in a sense.

I was growing tired and mad. It was getting to me, not hearing from Beckett. It was affecting me more than it should, making me realize just how quickly I was falling for him.

Beckett, where are you......

---------------

"Emitt, you have to get out of bed." Mickey groans as he pulls the blanket off of my back allowing the chilly breeze to attack my skin.

"It's Sunday!" I growl angrily as I sit up to glare at him, only to find him smiling completely unfazed.

"Yeah and you've been in the same spot since Friday." He scolds as I rub my eyes tiredly. "I know you miss him but sleeping all day won't bring him back any quicker."

"It's been two weeks Mickey." I say seriously making his features soften as obvious pity floods his eyes. "He's not missing since he's talking to everyone, everyone but me."

"He's a piece of shit for doing that but before I shit talk him and then you two make up..........I'm sure he has a good reason." Mickey says sitting on the edge of the bed as he rubs my hand supportively.

"I've been replaying the days before he left in my mind over and over, but I didn't do anything wrong." I say in frustration as I bury my face in my hands. "For once I didn't mess up so why is he ignoring me?!"

"I don't know babe." Mickey says as he pulls me into a tight embrace, his warmth easily accepted.

"I thought he liked me, that I was no longer a sexual experiment. That he actually liked me." I say feeling stupid for letting myself believe for a moment that it was true.

"What do you say to us getting your mind of off him?" Mickey proposed as he wipes away the tear that escaped my eye.

"How?"

"Two words: Par-tyyyyy!" He screams with sparking eyes while I just frown at the suggestion. "There's a party this afternoon, Maxine's house." He says temptingly.

"I don't know." I groan knowing I'd drink my weight and more to try and drown out the pain Beckett's absence was creating.

"Did I mention it's a pool party?" He says making my resolve break immediately. I loved pool parties, they were always the most fun parties in my opinion and I could never say no.

"One problem." I say making him frown in concern. "I have to find something to wear." I finish making him smile brightly as I slide out of the bed.

"We're going to parttttttyyyyy!" He screams like the maniac he was making me laugh heartily as a smile settles in my lips. "There he is! Now, you're going to forget about Bacon Bits and enjoy yourself. Don't let him control you or your life."

Easier said than done when he looks like a Greek God and talks like a poet - Chris says dreamily making me chuckle a little. It was his attempt at cheering me up which I greatly appreciated. You didn't do anything wrong Emitt. He's just being a poop.

No problem. Now get dressed, look so hot that both guys and girls will want you and have a great night - He says like a little cheerleader before fading away leaving me with red ears that told me he was embarrassed.

Sometimes Chris could be so cute.

--------------------------------

"First things first. Vodka." Mickey says and he struts into the house we were already familiar with, heading straight to the bar. "No beer tonight, just vodka."

"I'll be a mess in an hour." I whine as he hands be a full shot glass.

"Exactly." He says with a devious smile before we knock our glasses together and swallow the vile substance that was overhyped. "Another one." He says passing me another and then another, he kept going until he could pour it into the glass anymore.

I wasn't drunk but I wasn't sober either, a nice middle I was fine with staying at while Mickey drank straight from the bottle.

"Let's go for a swim before we're too drunk to." I say taking the bottle away from him and leading him to an area of wet screaming teenagers. The pool was massive, courteously provided by Maxine's Olympic gold swimmer of a father.

I discarded my shirt along with my belongings in a neat pile before getting into the pool, Mickey jumps in without a second thought making me laugh at how he struggled to swim with his shirt dragging him down. We talk and mingle for a while before getting out, we dance and play all sorts of party games and before I know it, it's four am and I'm in desperate need of a bed. Deciding to crash in Maxine's house like Mickey did on the front lawn an hour ago, I head to the room where I left my things, thankful to find it empty.

In a lazy daze I lie on the bed that felt like a million fluffy clouds as I sigh in contentment. My head buzzing with several, alcohol induced thoughts that were slowly fading as I feel asleep on what felt like Big Bird's stomach.

Hump me, fuck me. Daddy better make me choke (you better). Hump me, fuck me.

I groan loudly as my phone blared loudly, my mind not even registering the set ringtone as I try to swipe right to decline the call but accidentally answer it. I groan even louder as I sit up a bit, pulling the phone to my ear.

"What?!" I snap into the phone, silence immediately follows as I wait angrily. "I swear if this is a prank call I'm going to shove my hand up your a-"

"Hey."

My heart freezes as my mind instantaneously registers Beckett's voice, his jagged breathes filled the air as he panted into the phone. Neither of us say a word for a long time as I struggle to get my hundred and one thoughts together about what I should feel right now. Joy was the first to knock the door, then pain followed by sadness, desire, need. Until it all settled on one emotion.

"Fuck you!"

Rage.

"Let me explain." He says quickly but I shake my head as if he could see me.

"I would love to hear what explanation you possibly could give me for ignoring me for two whole weeks." I growl into the phone that I'd break if I wasn't careful. "What happened to three days?! Huh?!"

"Things got a bit....messy over here at the meeting." He lies making my heart crack bit. Either Julian didn't know that he was supposed to keep Beckett's trip a secret or he was misguided and Julian Heil was never wrong.

"So you weren't on a nature discovery tour?" I say sarcastically, the breath intake on the other side told me I was right. "Why are you lying to me?!"

"Emitt..."

"What's going on with you? We don't lie to each other!" I say my voice cracking at the implication, I could feel the tears filling my eyes but I try desperately to real them in. "We don't lie Beckett! You told me three days and it turned into two weeks. Two weeks of no contact, we went from talking every day to not at all and now your lying to me about it."

"There was no reception up here and I could reach you!" He says desperately grabbing at straws, the lies piling up as my heart continued to shatter.

"Stop lying to me!" I scream into the phone, my voice trembling along with my body as I slide off the bed suddenly feeling too hot with growing frustration. "I talk to people Beckett. I know you've been talking to everyone. Julian. Isabel. Even Aiden you called but you couldn't once answer my calls or text me back! And now you're lying about it!" I shout as my emotions get the best of me and the tears stream down my face as I sink to my knees and I start crying into the phone.

"Emitt, I'm sorry." He says with a pained voice that was probably a lie too, along with ever liking me.

"What happened?" I sob into the phone. "What d-did I do wrong?"

"Nothing! You did absolutely nothing wrong!"

"Then w-why?!" I shout losing control of myself. "Why did you ignore me?! And don't lie to me again."

"I can't...I c-can't tell you that Emitt." He says as I bite my bottom lip to stop myself from crying any harder.

"Of course you can't." I say standing to my feet and I digging my nails into my own skin.

"Emitt, I ju-"

I cut the call before he could finish as I throw the phone at the wall, watching it with a heaving chest as it shattered against the wall. I throw on my clothes as I head outside desperate to let out some steam. I needed to get my mind as far away form Beckett as possible or I'd find myself crying under some covers.

I call through our link hoping to Goddess he'd hear me, it was so early he'd probably be sleeping.

Jesus Christ, I'm trying to sleep Emitt! - He growls in annoyance as I walk down the road I didn't know quickly.

I stutter over my own words as I feel tears welling up in my eyes.

Hey, what's wrong? Where are you? Emitt! - He says with clear concern as I grip my head tightly trying to stop the oncoming wave of pain.

I reply shakily.

Meet me in Ash Woods.

I sigh in relief as I shift and make my way to the destination. I didn't want to think about him anymore, I didn't want to let him to make me care for him so much when he did so little for me. Shunning me, then lying to me about it and on top of all that, saying he can't tell me why.

It was too much. It was all too much.

I don't even think twice about shifting and hugging Aiden once I see him waiting for me with open arms. I cling to him as his warmth engulfs me entirely, bring heat to my chilled body as he squeezed me tightly.

"What happened?" He asks once I let go, looking at me with eyes filled with love that I really needed right now.

"I can't s-"

"That's fine." He says shushing me once he sees the tears seeping their way into my eyes. "It's fine. You need to blow off some steam right? Let's go for a hunt, get your mind off it okay?"

I nod gratefully as he gave me a weak smile before shifting and dashing into the woods, me following behind him as he lead us to Goddess knows where.

Some rogues would be losing their lives tonight.

-----------

I sink my talons into the rogues neck watching it choke on its own blood below me. I watch the life leave his eyes before I retract my claw from him, I looked at the blood drowning my entire coat with contentment. I wasn't one for messy, disgusting kills but I needed it right now. I needed the blood to stain my fur and the screams to fill my ears, I needed this.

I look across to see Aiden finishing off the last rogue with a wolffish grin as he teared him apart. All werewolves hated rogues but Aiden....he became something else when it came to rogues. He changed.

I say making his eyes clear as he finishes the rogue quickly before making his way over to me.

Are you feeling better? - He questions, his dark orbs glistening as the sun began to rise.

I say thankfully as we make our way to a nearby waterfall silently. Shifting, I discard my clothes before entering the water as Aiden did, soaking in the cold water the plunge pool provided.

"You scared me a bit ya know." Aiden says making my eyes drift to him as he washes the blood and stench of rogues off of us. "You've never asked to go for a rogue hunt."

"I know."

"I have to head back for patrol." He says as he studies me carefully, trying to decide if he could leave me alone or not.

"I'll be fine." I say as he watches me a bit longer before nodding. "Thanks for coming out though, I know how you treasure your sleep."

"I treasure you more." He says as he climbs out of the water, stark naked but I didn't feel anything. I was as gay as a rainbow and I knew Aiden was hot but I didn't feel shit seeing him like this. Growing up with the bastard made me completely immune. "Emitt."

"Yeah."

"Whoever they are, they're not worth it if they keep hurting you." He says making my eyes widen in surprise while he just chuckles at my reaction. "You've been on a rollercoaster ride with your emotions lately. One minute you're happier than I've ever seen you and the next you look like someone ripped your heart out, the latter more often than the other. It's not worth it if they make you this sad."

He says no more as he shifts before disappearing into the woods leaving me alone with my own thoughts flooding my mind.

Could Aiden be right?

Is the pleasure worth the pain?

Is Beckett worth it?

--------------