Holly's POV

I really hate life at the moment.

It's been over a week since Derek kissed Kyla. Over a week since Kyla told him they weren't together. Yet that dickhead is still parading around the school like jimmy big bollocks claiming to be dating Kyla. Get real mate, she is my girlfriend, not yours, has been for a lot longer than your little vulgar show.

I don't blame him wanting to shout out that he's dating Kyla. She's the hottest girl in school easy without even trying and the fact she's not a mean girl like some of her friends makes her even hotter. I've over heard a few guys admit to fancying her. It just makes me want to shout across the PA system that sorry lads but she's mine. I'm the one who gets to make out with her. Gets to see her sexy body when she first wakes up, hair slightly messy, no make-up. Utter perfection.

Part of me is jealous that Derek gets to tell everyone that he is with her even if he's not. That should be me.

My brain is fighting a war every day. Part of it wants to shout to the world that I'm gay and dating the most amazing and beautiful women ever, while another part of me wants to keep going deeper into the wardrobe until I find Narnia.

Agh, why couldn't I have a simple relationship? Why can't it be the normal to allow everyone to love who-ever they love? Not assume they will automatically end up with the opposite sex. Cause you know what they say when you assume.

None of it's Kyla's fault. I know the rubbish Derek is sprouting is complete garbage. Claiming to be out with Kyla making out when she is actually with me during some of those times. I've even over-heard her telling him to stop spreading untrue rumours but he still carries on. The whole school is getting caught up in the drama. Half believing his tall tales, while the other half see him as the wannabe that he is. Derek has never been more popular than he is right now.

None of this helps me though. As the week has gone on it seems this problem is escalating. Everywhere I go I hear gossip, I see him grab her in the hallway. True he hasn't kissed her on the lips as far as I've seen but he still manages to peck her on the cheek every now and then.

Each time I die a little more.

As the week's gone on I've gotten moodier and grumpier. Struggling to keep up the pretence that nothing in my world has changed. No matter how much I deny it though, it has. Anytime Kyla's not with me now I'm getting suspicious of her whereabouts. Is she with him? Have their mothers organised a family meal together? Is she going to follow her mothers plan so she can win prom queen? Because their mothers think this is the perfect press storm to start Kyla's campaign and want to keep the are they aren't they vibe going. All this for a plastic tiara.

That stupid title is what caused this agony. If she didn't want that nonsensical crown so much this whole mess would be over by now. It's because she wants to win so much that she's not arguing the point of Derek with her mom so much. Yes, she claims to have told her mom that she's not interested in dating Derek – which her mother replied 'it's not about being interested in him, it's about what looks good' – but it doesn't seem like she's arguing the point enough to get the message across.

I just don't think I can take this any longer.

The final straw came when even being around my friends was no longer a safe space. At the end of school we were exchanging books from our lockers before heading home. Tanya was more interested in talking though than getting out of here.

"Have you heard the latest hook-up gossip? Everyone is saying how Derek Martin and Kyla Watson have been doing it in secret for a while now. Apparently, Derek wants to tell everyone but Kyla is still denying it."

I throw my chemistry book a little too hard into my locker, gripping the strap of my bag until my knuckles go white.

"I can understand her not wanting to admit to being with that creep. He isn't the most reliable of sources though." Laurie contributes.

"I heard her friends talking though, saying that she regularly disappears on them with some excuse. Sounds suspiciously like she has a secret relationship if you ask me."

Enough. I can't take this anymore. Slamming my locker closed I bid the girls farewell.

I got home from school and called in sick to work. As much as I long to see Kyla and have some us time, I needed the time to think about how things are going moving forward. So far it's a bleak future. I know she isn't cheating on me because she is with me during the times Derek claims they were together. Yet nobody knows she is with me and that is being used against her. Being with me is ruining her good name, making her seem like a liar.

Is it selfish of me to want her so much it affects how others see her?

Kyla messaged me a few times once her shift started but I haven't responded. It's no surprize then when she appears at my bedroom door twenty minutes after her shift finished. This time she's not tentative to come in my room, no this time she barely knocks before closing the door behind herself.

She paces my room a few times before sitting on the edge of my bed. "You're not really sick, are you?" her sad voice phrases it as a question but something in me knows she means it as a statement.

"No, I just needed time to think." She's sitting so I'm facing her side. Both of us seem to know where this is going because she won't look at me.

"You needed to think about us, right?"

"Yeah." I take a breath before breaking into the speech I've been rehearsing. "Kyla, this has been a shitty week. Everywhere I go I'm assaulted with reminders of you and him. I know there isn't any truth in it but it still hurts to see and hear. A pain I can't even show to anyone because nobody would understand why." I take a deep steadying breath. Wow this is the hardest thing I've had to do, admitting my feelings for Kyla was easier than this moment. "That's why, I think we should take a break."