"Holy, fucking shit!" Joel mutters.

"What?"

"Look who Amber is talking to now." He pointed.

I followed his gaze.

Oh...my...god...

"Damn, talk about more beautiful with age, damn that woman is hot!" He said.

"That's her, dimwit. How many drinks did you have before I got here?" I asked.

"I know who it is, Sherlock. I don't even know how you're still sitting here." He said.

Maybe the fact that I'm scared shitless right now.

"Go talk to her." He said.

"Hell no, she left and made her choice, there's nothing left to say."

Except for everything. Damn her, why now?

She has a concerned or scared face on her now, then she took off for the other side of the lounge, and Amber came back and sat down.

"What?" I asked, as she glared at me.

"You need to go talk to her, she isn't happy." She said.

"That's the choice she made years ago." I took a drink if my beer.

"She's coming for dinner tomorrow, bring Jake and join us, she's bringing her twins." She said.

"Twins, huh?" I really didn't know.

"Yeah, they're almost seventeen, suspiciously close to our son's age." She gave me a strange look.

I already know how those kids came about, but it's not my story to tell.

"So, will you come? Doug and Julie will come too, I'll just invite the gang. What do you think, Joel?" She asked her husband.

"Sure, but don't get this guys hopes up. She's still married to some European fuck." He said.

"He's not European, he's a Texan like you. He runs the European division of Lattire and Beaumont." I said.

"How did you know that?" Joel asked.

"I met her brother the other day, and he mentioned it to my father." I answered.

"Well, there's a strange face." I heard from behind me.

I turned. "Doug, good to see you, man." He gave me a side hug. "Julie, well the two of you have been busy I see." She's pregnant.

I leaned down and she hugged me. "Yeah, he just keeps knocking me up, I told him no more after this one." She said.

Amber and Joel said their greetings.

"Did you see who is here?" Joel asked.

"Who?" Julie asked.

"Joey Lattire." Joel answered

Julie looked around. "So? Her dad died, right?"

"Yeah, but aren't you excited to see her?" Doug asked.

She shrugged her shoulders. "Why should I be excited? She ran away without as much as a word and hurt this guy. I'm still pissed off." She said.

"Honey, you know her father, and he probably sent her away," Doug said.

"That excuses seventeen years? That excuses the fact that dumbass over here about killed himself trying to get away from the pain she left him in, I think not." She said.

"Who tried to kill themselves?" I asked, and they all answered in unison.

"You!"

"I did not." I defended.

"Oh, let's see. You ran that damn nice classic car into a tree, and ran off to war after marrying the first girl that made you feel something. You've been on a path of self-destruction ever since she left." Julie does have a temper.

"Is this how she is with those pregnancy hormones, Doug?" Joel just fucked up, and Amber punched his arm.

"I do agree with you, Julie. I think, just leave her alone." I said.

"That's the most sensible thing I've heard from you in years, Hudson."

We all sat down and shared a table.

"Well, she's coming over tomorrow night, and I want you all there to greet her. She just lost her dad, and as Doug said, she didn't leave by choice. You have no idea what these past years have been, Just give her a chance guys. Will you do it for me?" Amber asked.

"Give her a chance, babe. She was your best friend for years." Doug said.

"I don't know, what are you going to do Hudson?" Julie asked? "I want to respect your wishes, you were hurt the most."

"Don't base your decision on mine, Julie. She really wasn't given much of a choice, plus you knew her longer than I did anyway." I said.

"Maybe it would be good for you, Hudson. Maybe some closure." Julie said.

"Fine, I'll go, but the minute she starts talking about that Beaumont guy, I'm out of there, okay?"

"How about I go feel her out, and see how she is first." Doug volunteered.

"Feel her out?" Julie asked.

"You know what I mean. Get an idea of what is going on with her." He said.

"Well, she's unhappy, that much is obvious," Amber said. "She tried to hide it, but I could see right through her."

They all looked at me.

"What? I don't care what you do." I said.

Doug got up from the table. I couldn't see her, which is a good thing, since the glimpse I had earlier took my breath away.

"Hudson, I'm sorry to hear about Hannah, that must have been so hard." Julie said.

I took a swig from my beer. "You mean walking in on her fucking my ex-partner in our bed? Yeah, that pretty much sucked." I said.

"She was fucking your ex-partner?" They all asked.

"Oh, I guess I left that part out. She said she was lonely because I worked too much." I said.

"Damn, we just thought she left." Joel said.

"No, the leaving was done by me, but the divorce is final now, and I have joint custody of Jake. A little over sixteen years married, and I didn't love her half as much.." I shut my mouth right then.

"Half as much as you love Joey?" Julie reached for my hand.

"I say let's not talk about ghosts of my past." I said.

"Hudson, I'm worried about you, and I have been for years. I mean you were in Iraq during the most violent part, and then Afghanistan? You keep running toward death instead of away." Julie said.

"None of that compared to losing Joey. I think I should go, I'm feeling suffocated." The room is starting to spin, and I can't control what happens when I feel this way. I stood up and walked outside, the air was a good start, but I'm dizzy.

The doctors say it's PTSD, but I haven't had an episode in years. I took a few deep breaths.

"Hudson! Breathe through it." Amber was at my side in an instant. "Long deep breaths. You know PTSD isn't just from war, it's her too. I see it written all over your face. Julie hit the nail on the head a few times, and that's actually good. You'll be stronger in the end, I won't leave you, I'm right here."

"Amber, I need to get back to Jake." I said.

"No, you don't, and you won't be driving." She said.

I took a deep breath. "I don't know what happened in there."

"I won't say her name, but she's the source of your pain. You have to forgive her before you can truly move on." She said.

"Amber, it wasn't her." I said.

"What do you mean?" She asked.

"I never told anyone, but her father forced her to marry that man. It was arranged when she was a kid, none of this was her fault. She has been that man's prisoner for years and forced to give him children." I said.

"Holy fuck!" Is all Amber could say.