Pov y/n

The snow melted a little through the day and the night and the next day, schools are open again, at least that's what I read on the internet and gathered from Rose's dad not calling again.

The next few days were calm and after work, I mainly spent my time at home or running errands because working on the treehouse is a bit difficult when everything is frozen.

Scarlett and I also had a few more calls and it was nice to hear her voice and see her face.

She also told me that Rose is on vacation for a week with her dad, since she has a week winter break. I won't lie, it made me a little sad because now I can't even spend time with Rose.

The weekend was uneventful, I did some chores around the house and watched some shows and took a walk. Scarlett was busy on Sunday though, so we didn't get to call.

Monday and Tuesday also were busy for her and she only managed to sent me text messages, which are better than nothing, so I won't complain.

I stayed longer at work on Wednesday, to catch up with Brandon on our project since he missed a few days. First due to the snow and then because of a cold. So, I showed and explained all the notes I made to him. It took longer than I anticipated but eventually, I was able to go home.

To my surprise, I got something in the mail. I barely get anything, except bills and stuff, so this is new.

It's an envelop with something inside. I've never seen the handwriting on the envelope and get a mixed feeling. Something between excitement and suspicion.

I settle on my couch and open the envelope.

A smile tugs on my lips when I see it's a postcard. I turn around to read it and my heart melts at the scrawly writing, clearly from Rose. There are some spelling arrows but I still understand what she wants to say:

Hello Mama,

I am currently on vacation. It's cold here but sledging is a lot of fun. We saw wolfs in a zoo and they reminded me of you because you said I am one too.

I love you, Rose.

My heart can't take this cuteness and I read the text over and over again as it's adorable but also makes me miss the little nugget even more. I turn it around to take a closer look as to where they are and raise my eyebrows a little. Canada, interesting.

But her text is cuter than the landscape, so I put it up at my fridge and every time I look at it, it makes me smile.

The rest of the night is calm, I cook dinner and take a bath, relaxing a little.

When I go to bed, I text Scarlett before continuing to read my book. It's a romance novel and pretty cute.

Although, it makes me feel pretty alone. Reading about how happy they are and how they spend so much time together and live happily with one another, makes me a little sad. I wish I had one with me to do all these cute things with right now.

I mean, at least I have a girlfriend, which I am more than happy about but I do miss her.

I miss how she looks at me, as if I am the most valuable thing in the world. I miss her hugs that are so warm and comforting. I miss cuddling with her and listening to her heartbeat while falling asleep. I miss her body warmth next to me. I miss her kisses that always make me giddy. And I miss her smell.

That reminds me of something and I get up, opening a drawer, getting out a hoodie. It's one of hers and it also still smells like her.

I breathe in her scent, relaxing a little.

I take the hoodie back to bed with me, switching it out with my sleeping shirt. It's warm and comfy and surrounds me with her smell. It may seem creepy how I'm laying there, smelling her hoodie but it gives me a bit of comfort, so I don't care.

I turn off my light since it gotten pretty late and snuggle into my pillow, waiting for sleep to overcome me. But it doesn't, I don't fall asleep.

After what feels like an eternity of trying, I roll onto my back and stare against the ceiling.

I am not sure what it is, but it's annoying. Listening to my thoughts, I try to figure it out.

I whine a little when I have to admit that I'm still missing my girlfriend and her daughter.

It's been a week since I last saw Rose and it was only for like half a day.

I wanna see her more than that. I want to see her for a few days in a row, I want her to stay over.

She's such a little sunshine and never fails to make me smile and I miss that.

Going from seeing her every day to not really once a week is hard, especially because I have to admit, that I really love her.

I mean, I have for a while now but this feels different, it's a different kind of love, more like motherly. Which is crazy, right? Or is it?

I only know her for like half a year but I know I want to be there for her, I want to celebrate milestones of her life with her. I want to protect her from everything bad in the world, from everything that could hurt her. She is my little dolphin and I love her.

And every time she calls me 'Mama', my heart fills with pure happiness and I can't do anything about it, neither do I want to.

I just wish, I was able to have her with me, at least over the weekend or so but I have no say in this since I am not bound to her in any way except emotionally.

Suddenly I remember our talk in the zoo, where she asked me if I would adopt her.

Would I?

Without hesitation, I know the answer is yes, yes I would.

But I don't think it's that easy.

After all, she has two parents who are capable of looking after her, she doesn't need me to adopt her. The thought of being her mother legally does make me smile though but also scares me a little at the same time.

Am I ready for that?

Am I ready to be a mother with all of the responsibilities?

What if I mess it up and teach her the wrong values?

What if I can't protect her from bad things?

What if I let her down?

Those questions swirl around my head, starting to make me a little anxious and I clench the hoodie sleeves inside my hands. I want to be her mother but I know nothing about motherhood.

I'm pulled out of my storm of thoughts by my phone lighting up. I take it and squint a little, the display seeming way too bright right now.

Scarlett answered to my text messages. I open the app and see the three dots, telling me she writes something.

Scarlett: Goodnight, my sweet angel.

Y/n: Goodnight, my love bug.

Scarlett: Why are you still awake? It's the middle of the night...

Y/n: Couldn't sleep.

Scarlett: Hold on.

A second later my phone buzzes and I take the call. Her face is only dimly lit but I can still see her worried expression.

"Are you okay? Isn't it like super late for you?" She asks concerned and for the first time since I grabbed my phone, I look at the time.

"Oh yeah, it's 1:07 am right now." I answer, a little surprised myself because I didn't realize it's so late.

"Baby, it's way too late for you to be awake, you have work tomorrow." She says softly and I sigh, rolling onto my side.

"I know, but I couldn't sleep." I say and she frowns a little.

"Why is that? Did something happen?" She asks and her eyes scan over the display, trying to search my eyes but I doubt that works because it's pretty dark around me, my face is barely lit by my phone.

"No, not really. I just miss you so much." I mumble, feeling a little ashamed of that.

I sound like a child missing their mother. I am a grown woman, I shouldn't be so affected by this.

Scar's face softens and the worry washes away.

"I miss you too, baby. And that's okay, it's hard not to be together, don't feel bad for that." She assures me sweetly as if she read my mind.

"Yeah but I'm an adult, I shouldn't feel like-"

"Stop that. It doesn't matter if you're an adult or not, you are allowed to feel whatever you feel, so please don't try to convince yourself otherwise. Your feelings are valid, all of them." She interrupts me, her tone a bit more stern but still caring. I purse my lips a little and nod.

"Okay." I whisper and she smiles a little. "I just wish you were here, so we could cuddle. I miss your presence."

She sighs and I can see her hand twitch and I'm pretty sure if there weren't so many kilometers between us, she would reach out to cup my face.

"I wish for that too, I miss your body next to mine when I fall asleep. Or on top of me when I fall asleep." She adds, chuckling a little and making me smile.

"You are a pretty good pillow." I say and her smile widens.

"I'm trying my best." She smiles and readjusts her position. I narrow my eyes a little and she raises an eyebrow in question.

"Is that my hoodie?" I ask, pointing next to her. She bites her lip to stop the grin from getting to big and nods. The picture becomes a little blurry as she angles her camera towards my hoodie.

"I put it around a pillow, so I can cuddle into it." She explains and my heart melts at her cuteness.

"You're adorable, do you know that, my love?" I ask and she angles the camera back to her face that is painted with a faint blush.

"It's just so comforting to have something smelling like you I can cuddle into when falling asleep." She explains and hugs the pillow with her free arm, her face a little smushed into it.

My heart fills with even more adoration towards this woman and I can't help it but do watch her with a small smile on my lips.

"But if I see correctly, you are wearing my hoodie." She says and I nod, holding up my other hand to show her the sleeve.

"I just missed you a lot tonight and wanted to have something of yours close to me." I tell her and she smiles softly.

"You look adorable, even if I can't see a lot of you. God, if I was there with you right now, I'd pull the hood over your head, that always looks so cute." She sighs and I giggle a little and pull the hood over my head, making her eyes grow.

"I don't know how you do it, being the same height as me, but my hoodies always look slightly too big on you and its one of the most adorable things I've ever seen." She gushes a little and I scrunch up my nose as my lips can't hold my smile anymore.

"I want you to come back and cuddle with me." I say and she chuckles a bit.

"I wish I could just do that but the schedule is pretty full right now. But maybe if it clears out a little, I can find some time." She replies and my heart jumps a little just at the thought of her maybe visiting.

"Okay, then hurry up with shooting and come back." I joke and she laughs, saluting.

"Will do. I'll just tell them to shoot at double speed, who cares about quality, most of it goes through cgi anyway." She laughs and I nod with a grin.

"There you go." I giggle and she shakes her head with a smile.

"If I were Lizzie, that might even work but I'm afraid for my character, they actually need me to act everything out." She admits and I nod, understanding that this is out of her hand.

"Just produce the next movie, then you have a bit more say in it." I joke but she only smirks a bit and my eyes widen.

"Wait! You actually plan on producing one?" I ask excitedly and she nods with a mysterious smirk.

"What kind of movie? When will it be shot? Will you also starr in it?"

She laughs a little at my many questions and puts her hand underneath her head.

"They thought about shooting it in summer or fall but it's not a hundred percent sure yet, depends a little on the location. And yes, I will also starr in it. I'm not sure though, if I am allowed to tell you what kind of movie it will be. The only thing I can say is, that I already once produced a movie with that company." She tells me and I try my hardest to think but my brain doesn't remember anything. I look at her for help but she just shrugs with a little grin.

"Fine. But that is so exciting! Congratulations, babe!" I say and she smiles happily.

"Thank you. It actually is pretty new because I settled it only a few days ago. I am pretty pumped about it though." She tells me and I smile at her excited expression.

"It is really amazing news." I agree and her eyes sparkle a little in excitement.

"But back to you. Anything else keeping you up tonight?" She changes topic and I hum.

"There is something else..." I trail off a little. Scarlett nods for me to go on.

"When Rose and I brought you to the airport, she asked me to be her parent." I start and Scar nods, so far that is nothing new, Rose already calls me her mother. "Her legal parent. She asked me if I would adopt her."

I chew on my lip, unsure about Scar's reaction. She stops the nodding and a thoughtful look appears on her face. I press my lips a little together, not knowing what else to say and letting her process the information.

"What did you reply to that?" She asks, not the slightest bit of judgement in her voice.

"She said I'm already her mom, so why not make it legal and I said 'yeah, why not?'" I answer, biting my lip a little anxiously. "After that, we didn't speak about it anymore."

Scar hums and runs her hand through her hair.

"I have no clue how the rules are on adopting, especially not because she has to very capable parents. And I would never want to take her from you, please understand that. It's just, she asked me and I didn't know what to respond because I do see her as my daughter and I want to be her mother. But at the same time, that thought frightens me because what if I do something wrong?

What if I mess her up?

I don't wanna do that. She is such a sweet child, I don't wanna make her a bad human and-" I ramble, talking quicker with every word.

"Y/n, breathe." Scar interrupts me and I take a deep breath. "Good job and now another one."

I do as she tells me to and slowly calm down a little, the thoughts aren't racing in my head anymore.

"I never thought you would want to take Rose from me, don't worry. I can tell how much you love her and how much she loves you. It makes me happier than I can say that you two get along so amazingly." She starts of, her voice calm and steady and I take another deep breath, it doesn't sound like she is mad or something.

"I also don't know how the rules for adoptions are but I know it's a long process either way. And please don't worry about if you'd be a good mother because I see you with Rose and you are so great with her. I also know you and your values and I know you won't mess her up or make her a bad human, you could never. You are already a parental role for her and you're doing a great job. It wouldn't change a lot, except for a few responsibilities you could take, like taking her to the dentist, doctor or whatever. But it's not like that's all crushing down on you at once. I am still there as well and we could do it step by step together and you will see, there is nothing to worry about."

I look into her eyes through the display and nod slowly, she is right, I am not alone in this. She is still there and will be with me. And besides, Rose is already a child and can communicate what she needs and wants.

"You are right, I am not alone." I say and she nods. "It is still such a huge decision to make."

"Of course, and you don't have to make it on the spot. Take all the time you need to think about it. And no matter, to what conclusion you come, I will support you completely." She assures me and I smile at her in thanks.

"I know, Rose really wants this but it still is your decision to make and I can also understand if you decide not to look further into it because it is a long process and bounds you to her. Besides, we've been together for four months now and even though I hope it'll be for a long, long time or even forever, we don't know that. So, take your time and decide what feels right to you."

I think about her words and realize that adopting Rose bounds me to her legally and that doesn't change if Scar and I break up.

And I mean, I won't just disappear out of Rose's life if that were to happen. I know that children can get attached quickly and taking someone very important from them hurts them deeply and I don't want to put that kind of hurt on Rose.

I do want to be able to legally care for her in this relationship though. But Scarlett is right, I don't have to decide yet, I can take my time and think about it. Maybe I can do some research just so I am informed, that maybe helps me a little. Or maybe I'll find out that I can't adopt Rose, that would also take the process of deciding off me.

I take a deep breath and listen to my inner self, it's calmer now and my thoughts have settled down.

"Thank you, I think I really needed to talk about this and get a second opinion on it." I say and Scar smiles softly.

"Of course, I am always here for you, angel." She replies and I smile back. She turns in her bed and now her face is barely lit anymore. "Do you think you'll be able to fall asleep now?"

I listen to myself again before nodding. "Yeah, I think I am."

"Good, because it got pretty late and you have to get up early tomorrow and need your sleep." She says in a soft voice and I playfully roll my eyes at her.

"Alright, Mom." I joke and she sticks her tongue out at me. "I still miss you though."

"I miss you too but we will see each other in a few weeks." She sighs, the same disappointment in her voice as in mine. I whine a little, that's so long.

"Fine, but don't forget: I love you." I say and she chuckles a bit.

"I love you more." She replies and my heart warms up again at those words.

"Not possible." I grin and she shakes her head.

"Very much possible. Now, have a good night and get some well deserved sleep."

I send her an air kiss that she catches before sending one right back.

Hanging up feels wrong but she is right, I need my sleep and so does she.

This time it actually works and I feel the exhaustion of the day wash over me and seconds after cuddling into her hoodie and the pillow, I drift off to sleep.

The next day I groan when my alarm goes off and my head hurts a little, I definitely had not enough sleep. But it doesn't help to whine now, I have to get up and get ready for today.

My body feels a little heavier than usual and I feel a little moody.

I have breakfast before packing my bag and going to the bathroom to get ready.

I roll my eyes when I'm on the toilet, I got my period today.

That does explain my vulnerable state last night.

Not that it is an excuse or anything, sometimes I just get extra clingy or cuddly when I'm on my period.

Once again I wish Scarlett was here, so we could cuddle but she isn't, so I finish up on the toilet and grab everything to go to work. It will be an interesting day.

A/n: More like a filler chapter and I wanted to put in the thing with Scar and the pillow XD

Thanks for reading and love to you all