Aiyana Savestano is afraid of heights-I wish I'd known that before I booked tickets at the skiing resort situated twenty minutes away from our cabin-and why hadn't it come up almost a year into our marriage? I had no idea. Because as soon as we were both seated comfortably in the chairlift, approaching the top of the mountain, she was gripping onto my hand with so much force I feared she'd cut off my blood circulation.

When we eventually made it off, she was a heaving mess, throwing up into a paper bag, and I was much more concerned with the safety of my wife than a ruined skiing trip. We could always come back again, but not at the expense of Aiyana's health. I could still hear her string of apologies, the quiver in her voice, afraid that she'd ruin our little getaway, but I didn't have the heart to tell her that I couldn't care less.

She is, and will always be, my first priority.

Which is why when she changes into one of my pyjama shirts that practically swamps her and curls into a ball on the sofa, legs drawn to her chest and arms snaked around her knees, I know something is wrong. I find myself crouching in front of her, still dressed in my ski jacket and pants, both palms settling on her calves until I'm tugging her forward. She grunts and lifts her head, yet when she spots me staring at her with nothing but concern, her lips begin to tremble.

That was never a good sign.

Yana,I breathe out, You're going to catch a cold, sweetheart... Do you want me to carry you to bed? Or should I run you a warm-

She cuts me off with a shake of her head before I can finish my sentence. My heart clenches at the sight of her pale face, the sweat gathering on her brow bone. I can't make things right if I don't know what's wrong and that's what hurts the most. My wife is in pain and I'm sitting around like a useless husband, unsure on how to make things better.

I'm fine, J. I'm just feeling really warm, and I... I ruined this whole trip. I'm sorry. I had this whole- she rambles to herself, teeth pulling her lower lip into her mouth as her fingers dig into her palm. I'm sorry. I know how much you were looking forward to this trip, and I... I couldn't even do this right.

Her words make me frown. I'm on my feet in an instant, settling in the space beside her before I'm pulling her into my lap and forcing her head against my chest. Her bare legs dangle over mine until she's shoving her feet under one of the cushions. Palm on her knee, my thumb brushes the soft skin of her inner thigh-an area I've memorised and kissed hundreds of times over-using my left hand to rub her back.

Talk to me, my beautiful girl. What's wrong? I attempt to ask again, brushing my lips against the crown of her head. Aiyana's body is slack against my own, her fingertips playing with the zipper of my jacket. I can't help you if I don't know what's wrong. Did I say or do something?

No,she mumbles, a heavy sigh falling from her lips. It's not your fault. I just... Judah, I had this whole plan for the skiing trip, and it was my only chance.

I'm not following... What do you mean?

When we-after we got to the top of the mountain, I wanted to show-no, sorry. I wanted to give you... something, but I just had to ruin it by throwing my breakfast,she muttered in disdain, furrowing her brows. Tears coat her waterline, making me wrap my arms around her, pulling her in for a hug. I don't want you to get mad, she says, cheek squished against my chest.

I don't think I could get mad at you even if I tried, sweetheart, I begin. I really couldn't. Aiyana had me wrapped around her tiny finger and she knew it. She's the answer to my prayers, the righteous truth, and everything in between. I will love this woman until the end of times, until there's nothing but ashes. Aiyana Savestano is my life, my faith, my reason for living and a ruined-if you could call it that-trip wouldn't change that. You could tell me you've lost your wedding ring and I wouldn't get mad. Not at you... Never at you. I'll just buy you another.

She stirs in my lap and blinks up at me through her unshed tears. Not even if I accidentally spilled hot sauce on your Jordans? she sniffles. Or if I accidentally used your debit card to buy myself the necklace I've been eyeing for the last few months?

My gaze softens as she bites her lip in anticipation, waiting for my response.

Fuck me, she's the cutest.

Even then, pretty baby... Even then, and it was nothing but the honest truth. Show me the necklace you want, I'll have it delivered next week.

I was joking about the necklace, she says, pressing her lips against my throat. I groan at the contact, not ready for our conversation to be over; she still hasn't told me what she was planning. And if she continued with the way she was currently going, fingertips teasing the length of my jaw and neck, neither of us would be leaving this room anytime soon.

I wasn't, I grunt, watching as my beautiful wife straddles my lap. My palms drop to her hips as she settles her ass on my growing boner. The pinstriped shirt of mine she wears falls off her shoulder, clinging onto her little pudgy stomach she's been complaining about for the last few weeks, but I can barely notice it. Aiyana chooses to focus on me instead, nudging my nose with her own. Yana, what did you want to tell me?

...Can we talk about this later?She asks, huffing in frustration.

No. I'd like to know what's bothering my wife... and I know it has absolutely nothing to do with the skiing trip, so either you tell me or I'll find out myself.

She tries to call my bluff, but I don't let my facade slip. And when she doesn't get a peep from me, she slips out of my lap. Her chest rises and falls, shaky breaths brushing past her lips until she's muttering, Okay... I can do this. Wait-wait here.

When I notice she's fidgeting with her wedding band, I know she's nervous. And I want to do nothing more than hold her and tell her that everything would be alright; that as long as I was by her side, she had nothing to worry about. She could tell me she murdered a man and I'd help her bury the fucking body.

Anything for my damn woman.

The soft patter of her footsteps against the oak floor resonate throughout the room, blurred with the sound of the crackling wood of the fireplace. The sun is setting, casting a hue of oranges and purples bleeding into the sky, and as beautiful as it was, there was only one person that could steal my attention. Relaxing into the comfort of the sofa, I spread my legs wide and tilt my head back when Aiyana's knee hits my shin. She forces herself into the gap between my thighs and stares down at me with an indecipherable expression.

If I could take away every single worry and burden of my wife, I would. Seeing her pinch her lips together in a grim line and exhale shakily did nothing to ease the sharp pain in my chest. Eyes travelling down her appearance, they come to a halt at her hands. They're hidden away from view, but I can just about make out the black, rounded tip of something flat.

What are you hiding? I'm quick to ask.

Her lips twist up into a nervous smile, her teary eyes making an appearance once more. Please don't freak out, she whispers.

I can practically feel the blood pulsing in my ears and rushing to the surface of my skin. The back of my head feels heavy, and all of a sudden, I don't feel so good. I don't want to assume the worst, but Aiyana's expression is giving nothing away.

And when she finally reveals exactly what she's hiding, uttering three words I never thought I'd hear, my world stops.

I only focus on the items she's holding.

A baby snowsuit.

Baby snow boots.

And the smallest skis I ever did see.

I'm pregnant, Judah,she chokes out, and the earth tilts on its axis once more. We're having a baby.

My heart pounds erratically against my chest as I reach for the skis, barely the length of my forearm, and then the navy snowsuit. I'm fucking speechless. Stunned. The words are lost in my throat, and I know my silence is only freaking Aiyana out, but I wanted to savour this moment. Because from this moment forward, two become three.

The snowsuit feels heavy in my palms, and I don't know if it's the weight of the news or if it's the responsibilities of a father that are suddenly bestowed upon me. I don't notice I'm fucking tearing up until I register a droplet trail down the nylon material.

Say something, I hear Aiyana say, voice cracking.

And when I look up at the mother of my unborn child, sporting a similar expression to mine, I flash her a teary smile. We're going to be okay. We've got this.

I love you, I choke out, my own voice breaking until I'm on my feet and embracing my wife. I want to punch myself for stressing her out, because the moment my arms curl around her waist and lift her off the ground, the tension in her body washes away. I love you so fucking much, Aiyana Savestano.

Her face is buried into the crook of my neck, arms around my shoulders as I spin her around. She fastens her legs around my waist until she's pulling away, happy tears falling freely down her perfect cheeks. And that perfect fucking smile, God...

I was so scared, she breathes out, dropping her forehead to mine. So fucking scared, J. I didn't know what to expect.

I'm going to take care of you, sweetheart... I'm going to take care of both of you, I say with determination, resting her against the sofa so that I could make myself comfortable between her legs. My fingers play with the hem of her shirt, lifting it over her hips until it's bunched around her chest, exposing her stomach.

All this time... all this fucking time, I should've known. Because the more I observed her stomach, the more I realised the pudginess looked a lot like a pregnant belly. I find myself on my knees-the only woman I'd be on my knees for-and leaning over to pepper kisses across her skin.

I can't fucking wait to meet our little Savestano. Fuck, that sounds weird, I say to myself. My smile widens when she gently brushes her palm across my cheek, her eyes shining with nothing but love and adoration. We have so much to do, my goodness me. I need to clean out the guest bedroom and get started on the nursery. We need to book an ultrasound to make sure baby is fine, and... and I need to babyproof the house. I need to buy nappies and baby food and baby formula and my God, babies are expensive! Oh my God, we have to cut down on the sex. What else am I missing? Strollers? Baby towels? Baby clothes?

My chest is heaving after my rambling, a breathless laugh falling from my lips. Aiyana is beaming down at me, her small hands moving to cup my cheeks.

Everything will be fine, J. One step at a time, alright? I nod and sigh, and with a teasing smile she says, And the gynaecologist cleared us for sex. You're good.

Unbelievable, I chuckle against her skin, resting my hand against her belly. I can't believe it, Yana. Thank you for blessing me with this gift. Thank you for making me a father... Thank you for choosing me.

She smiles a knowing smile and says,I'll always choose you, Judah.

And when our mouths meet in the middle, all is right with the world.

Because it was me and her against the world.