Chapter -19

The truth

I sat on the bed watching Mason pace back and forth thinking. None of us has said a word for 10 minutes... I can literally feel his fear and anxiety.

I sat patiently watching him and fixed the covers around me as the room got cooler. He took a deep breath and sighed sitting down on the edge of the bed with his tense back to me, he stared at the floor sitting with his elbows on his knees. I stared at his muscular back and he bit his lip, "my father went crazy before he attacked your pack" he mumbled.

He ran his fingers through his hair sighing, "I don't know what happened to him but he just snapped all of a sudden... He was a good guy. He loved me and my mother. He was a great alpha to the pack... Then he went on some business trip and he came back a changed man" he said.

"Where did he go?" I whispered and he looked at me, "he went to see the council" he said and I sighed.

It's always with them...

"It started off with him not taking care of the pack as much as he used to...he didn't care about anything... Then he began cheating on my mother with her own step sister" he said in disgust.

"Then he banished her... My Mom... His own mate for no reason" he said shaking his head and I sat up looking at him. "How old were you?"

"Like 8" he shrugged rubbing his hands together. "I tried looking for her but I never found her... I still haven't" he said staring at the floor again.

We sat in silence for a while and I just watched the many emotions on his face.

Anger, sadness, regret, disgust... Just so many emotions.

"Then what happened?" I whispered and he rubbed his hands together harder clenching his jaw. "He married that whore and tried to make her Luna" he said with his teeth clenched. "He was angry because nobody wanted her as Luna. My mom was their true Luna"

"When they didn't follow him that's when he went really crazy... He started hurting people... Hurting me. At first the whore would protect me. She's hide me from him when he has his episodes" he mumbled with a distant look.

"Then when I was 15... That's when it really started" he mumbled tensing up. "When what started?" I whispered and he just sat there and looked at me slowly.

"When she started raping me" he said and I froze. He stared at the floor, he raised his arm and touched his side. "She gave me this" he said and I looked at a thick scar on his side.

"How?" I whispered looking at it, "she would stab me with a silver knife while I was sleeping and climbed on me" he said sitting forward again with his back to me.

"Since the knife was pure silver it paralysed me. I couldn't move or speak... She did this for years... Always wanting me to call her Mommy" he said in disgust and I looked down feeling my heart in my stomach beating loudly.

"I tried to tell my Father but he wouldn't believe me. He just beat me and told me I was a liar. While behind him she would just smile at me... She was crazy... She became obsessive" he said shaking his head.

"One night Evan saw everything and stopped her... I was finally able to fight back..." He sighed rubbing the back of his neck. "Is that why you don't like anyone on top of you?" I asked and he nodded making me close my eyes.

"She ruined me... Made me fucked up like my father" he said and I shook my head "you're not like him" I whispered. "I am" he nodded

"Since then I never wanted a mate... I never wanted to be touched like that" he said "but you were with Lydia" I said "yeah but I never let her touch me like that. That was a rule" he said.

"You let me touch you from the very first" I said and he looked at me. "Why?" I asked tilting my head hugging my legs, "you affected me from the very start" he said shaking his head.

I smiled looking down, "well it didn't feel like it" I said and he chuckled. "I don't... I'm not good with emotions very well" he said.

"I can tell" I nodded and he glared at me making me smile. "After a while my dad created a facility that tortures white wolves" he said and I tensed "my mom was in there... She escaped" I mumbled and he looked at me.

"That's how she met my dad" I mumbled looking down and he sighed, "do you know where it's at?" I asked and he shook his head staring at the floor silently. I bit my lip staring at him waiting for him to speak but we just sat in silence...

"she ruined me... Made me feel weak. She's the reason why I'm so held off... Why I'm bipolar... Why I'm always angry... It's all my fault-"

"No it's not" I frowned and he just sighed "you just said she paralysed you by stabbing you with a silver knife... There was nothing you can do. It's not your fault" I said feeling his pain.

I blinked the tears away feeling helpless and I knew it was coming from him. "You are not weak Mason" I said sternly.

"I'm fucked up-"

"Well so is everyone. Nobody is perfect. You been through a lot that's all. People deal with things differently" I said looking down and he just sat with his back to me staring at the floor.

I sat up crawling behind him and slowly touched his back. I sat up on my knees kissing his shoulder and he sighed closing his eyes.

"I'm sorry if I pressured you to tell me" I whispered feeling guilty.

It must've been hard for him.

"You would've found out sooner or later... Like you said before. You deserve to know" he said and I closed my eyes putting my head on his shoulder.

He sat up sighed and turned over grabbing my waist, he pulled me on his lap straddling him and I put my forehead on his closing my eyes.

"Do you think less of me?" He whispered and I shook my head running my fingers through his soft hair.

"I don't" I whispered and he rubbed my waist. He pulled me closer kissing me and I wrapped my arms around his neck kissing back.

"Don't leave me... Just give me some time" he whispered rubbing his nose against mine.

"Like I said. this is all new to me and I don't know how to deal with these emotions... Or your emotions. Don't leave me" he said tightening his grip on me.

I wrapped my arms around his neck hugging him and he kissed my shoulder hugging me.

"I won't leave" I said in his ear and he sighed hugging me "I'll help you with whatever you need" I said

"Just being here for me will help" he said inhaling my scent. I closed my eyes hugging him close to me...

***

I opened my eyes feeling droplets of sweat running down my forehead, I moaned at the heat going to take my blanket off but couldn't move. I looked behind me at Mason sleeping holding me tightly against him with his arms around me and his legs tangled with mine.

I touched his arm sighing and felt my body burning. "Mason" I mumbled turning over and he pulled me closer kissing my shoulder, I tried pushing his arm off me and his eyes snapped open looking right at me.

"Can you let me go?" I asked and he sighed pulling away laying on his back. I sighed sitting up and climbed off the bed, I stretched and moaned as another wave of heat went down my spine.

Mason sat up quickly inhaling deeply and growled looking at me. I looked at him frowning "God damn it!" he growled loudly

"What did I do?" I frowned in confusion.

"You're in heat" he muttered and I tensed...

Uh oh...