[Congratulations: You've Unlocked Kugui's Interlude!]

"Carolyn— don't look at that!" My mother dragged me away harshly, covering my eyes with her hand.

"Why?" Little me questioned, tilting my head. Pushing her away, I peered at what I saw. In front of us were two grown women laughing together, holding hands as they then shared a kiss. What was wrong with that?

My mother let out an annoyed huff. "Those two— being despicable." Crouching down, my footing stumbled when she poked my chest with a stern look. "Remember honey— never be like those... people."

"Why?" I was too naive to push my question further.

"Don't talk back to me!" I flinched at the harsh tone she gave me. Signing, she stroked the top of my head with a small smile. "Just do as I please and you'll be safe."

"...Yes, mother."

"Hey, hey! Carolyn, are you going to join our club?"

Despite my thoughts, I reassured them with a smile. "Of course! If... if that's what you want." My hands hid away my stuff from my desk. I noticed how they never bothered to look at what it was.

"Nice!" They smiled, they always did whenever I did something right. That made me happy. "Oh, I've always wondered, what did you want to be when you grew up?" The person asked, never looking directly at me.

My breath hitched. They... wondered about me? I averted my gaze, feeling sheepish as I pursued my lips. "Ah... well, I don't know." I settled for that. I knew it wasn't an actual answer, yet I already knew that was enough for them.

True to my thoughts, the person in front of me didn't push further, not like they wanted to know in the first place, and turned away. "That's ok, I know you won't disappoint anyone with your decision!"

"I... I see." I pushed down the lump in my throat. Is that true? How can you be so certain? I held the urge to ask them.

Raising a hand, they waved at me, stepping away. "Well, I'll see you later!"

With a strained smile, it was an automatic response to do the same.

I never told them I wasn't interested in their club.

I never told them I already knew what I wanted to be.

I never told them anything.

And yet... I wanted to reach out.

Growing up, I never, no matter how I tried, was able to make a bond with anyone. I never knew why— did they hate me? Was there something in me that they didn't like?

So, I changed.

Whatever they liked, I liked. Whatever they disliked, I disliked. Whatever talent they enjoyed, I enjoyed as well. I had to change for them to care about me. I had to show them that I was good enough to love.

Yet it wasn't enough. I still felt alone-- no, I was still alone. They didn't like me for me, I knew deep inside. Yet, I couldn't stop-- I didn't care at that point. I—

No, that wasn't right. I did care.

I was just too much of a coward to do anything about it.

And so, every night, before I went to bed, I would pray. Pray for that one day— that one day I would finally have the courage.

Oh no. I held the fabric of my shirt as I heaved a breath— only to choke on it. Oh no no no no no This is the worst, I shouldn't have done this. Now everyone will—

I didn't realize it, I never got the chance to— and now, everything I've worked for, it'll go to dust.

No. I can't let that happen! I cried to myself, huddling my knees tucked together. "Haah..." I tried to calm my heart beating so erratically. I don't want that— I don't want them to know, I don't want them to see I don't want them to—

I don't want them to know how much of a pathetic person I am.

What should I do? I stared at my phone, showing the evidence. I don't know— should I report it? Is it too late? I— how should I—

"Carolyn?" My breath hitched, whipping my head at my mother, who stood at the doorway of my room. I didn't hear her come in! I screamed internally. "Is something wrong?"

Panicking, I stood up from my bed, tossing my phone away. "No— no! Nothing's wrong!" I stammered on my words, my hands rose in defense. Oh no, she's going to find out! I scrambled out of my bed, my feet almost making me lose balance. I pressed my hands together and gave her a push. "Now, do— do you not have things to do?"

"Sweetie, stop." My body froze at her tone, stepping back with my hands covering my mouth. Oh no, I did it. "There's something wrong with you, right?" I sucked in a breath as she stepped closer and grabbed my wrist. "Why don't you just say it?"

I— "Hey, what's going on?" A more masculine voice popped in, my father's head poking out of the doorway.

My mother craned her head to look at him. "Carolyn has something she wants to say." My lips pushed together as my body suddenly felt like it was being pierced by multiple tiny needles. I never said—

"Oh? Well then," With not even a hint of hesitance, he walked in, pushing me onto the bed. Never had I ever felt this cornered in my life. It was as if I was a zoo animal with them looking down on me with wide smiles. "Tell us already."

I pressed my body together, scooting back onto my bed. I— I need to leave. I need to find a way out of this situation. They can't know they'll hate me they'll leave me alone alone

"Come on, aren't we family?"

It was then that everything stilled.

Family? I thought. Yeah, that's right— we're family. Family helps each other— they care for each other, no matter what.

So... it's okay, right? It's okay to say the truth, right? I won't be hated right?

I won't be alone, right?

My eyes caught sight of them again: their big and welcoming smile. I felt like running, I felt like breaking down.

Yet I was tired— so tired.

With a deep breath, I pushed away my doubts for the first time. It's... ok to be myself, right?

🎶🎶

I... I thought... I truly believed— believed that they would accept me. I could finally be happy!

Looks like I was .

After that, everything went to hell. Nobody wanted to be with me. Nobody looked at me. Nobody even cared—

God, why does this happen to me?

Every night that I prayed, was that all in vain? Did that do nothing?

Please, God, if you truly exist, tell me: what sins have I done? What heinous crimes have I committed to deserve this?

Perhaps I was the crime myself.

Never have I once received a reply, no matter how much I pleaded.

The only reassurance I had in this life had finally been crushed to dust, giving way to the pain I tried so desperately to run away from.

I just... I just wanted people to care. I tried so hard and

Nobody cares.

Nobody cares. Nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobodynobodynobo—

The rope around my neck tightened.

My memories of my next parents were vague— I only saw them a few times after they died, after all.

The next thing I knew, I was in the arms of an elderly woman. For the time I was being carried around, my bleary eyes couldn't help but make me feel confused. Why does she look familiar, I wondered. Yet, all I could do was say gibberish.

It wasn't until I fearfully stared at large grayish-brown eyes that it clicked: this was Sasori Akasuna.

So there I was, lying in my crib (do I even deserve this?) as the infamous S-rank criminal worked on the other side of the room. Why? Why am I still alive? I asked myself.

Is this god's way of making me suffer? Did I have any more sins I had to pay for?

Or was I doomed for eternal suffering?

Waving my hands up, I felt my eyes water. "Aah..." I wailed, watching as everything went blurry. No, don't cry— please don't— don't bother him anymore!

"Kugui, be quiet." Sasori suddenly appeared in front of me, a blank expression on my face. I choked on a small sob at the sight of him, trying my best to shush myself. The boy let out a sigh, reaching his hand in. Oh no, he's going to kill me— "I don't know why grandma Chiyo can't just take care of you herself." Feeling the warmth of his fingers on my cheek, I couldn't help but stop.

Ah, that's right. I had to remind myself. He's not a war criminal right now. Hesitantly, I pushed my body to lean in, relishing how... what's the word again? "Uwah..." I accidentally let out, yet for once, I didn't get any bad looks. Getting another glance at him, I found myself in awe.

His eyes were wide yet glistening— so full of life, despite the small scowl he had. They reminded me of the comforting and warmth of hot chocolate. He was alive. I concluded. Not a puppet— but human. My hands reached out. "Ubaba..."

"Hm? You want to get up?" The Akasuna spoke in a soft murmur. The boy narrowed his eyes, averting his gaze before reverting. Raising a lax hand as he leaned against the crib, he cupped his cheek with his other hand.

And before I knew it, I was airborne. Eh? Eh? My tiny, weak body wiggled around, what's going on? "Stop struggling." Moving his fingers (Were those strings attached to them?), I felt myself being pushed closer to the boy. Feeling the embrace of warm hands, I landed on Sasori's shoulders.

Is... is this happening? I felt like crying— no, I already was crying. "Wahhh..." I'm sorry, I wanted to say, feeling the soon-to-be-murderer pat my back gently (When was the last time someone did that in my past life?) I'm so sorry, you probably hate me. I'm sorry.

He's so kind... is this the Sasori I know from the manga? I thought to myself. Does God hate him as well? Do they wish for him to suffer?

If so... I felt so weak when I tried pushing myself up. Then, as thanks for treating me so kindly, a mere sinner... Smacking my gums together, I pursued my lips. "Sa..." I felt him tense.

"Kugui?"

"Sss... Sa!" I cried out. "Sas... Saso!"

Feeling him shift his weight, he brought my small body to eye level, eyes wide with wonder. "...yeah, that's right. That's my name." I could barely see it but, there was the tiniest of smiles on his face.

I want to make his life just a little bit happier.

My body fidgeted as Chiyo guided me to the dinner table. "Grand... Grandmother Chiyo?" I asked her with my hands fiddling with the fabric of my shirt. "What are we doing...?" My mouth instantly shut. No! You aren't supposed to question adults! Oh no, she's going to—

"You're around that age, Kugui," Her hoarse voice broke my thoughts, looking down at me with an unfazed expression. I stumbled a little at the sight. Around that age...? "So choose: do you want to learn puppetry or fuinjutsu?"

Huh? I blanked out. Puppetry? Fuinjutsu? It was then that it hit me: I was in a world full of ninjas— ninjas that would kill each other. Without knowing it, I averted my eyes. Do I have to be that?! I don't— I don't want to...

Ah, but, I don't want to disappoint her. I concluded, steeling my will. "Ah, um, fuinjutsu...?" I decided on. Sasori already does puppetry, he'll probably get mad if I copy him.

"Hm, interesting choice," The old lady commented. She then featured to a chair. "Now, come along, I'll teach you the basics."

And that was, despite my silent protest, was how I began training as a ninja.

"Grandma Chiyo, when will mother and father come back?"

Whenever Sasori asked that question, I always had to look away. I knew that they were long dead, and yet, I couldn't help but feel pain deep down.

My relative (family...?) was holding on to such small hope. I knew it was wrong, Grandma Chiyo knew it was wrong— but we didn't say anything.

"Doll, come here." He motioned me over one time. 'Doll', that was the nickname he gave me after some time. At first, I was puzzled at it yet I soon became accustomed to it.

It was better than all the other ones I got.

Staring at the hand reaching out to me, I was skeptical, knowing exactly what was going to happen. On both sides, two puppets were sitting. If it weren't for the hard body structures and artificial hair, I wouldn't have thought that these were Sasori's parents.

...Parents. That left a sour taste whenever I thought of it. But, pushing them away, I came forward.

That's what I had to do, for that he called for it.

Nearing closer to the older one, I let him guide my body onto his lap, leaning on my back with a soft hum. Never would I have thought that I would sit with a fictional character. I thought to myself, watching as Sasori then crossed his arms around my body. Attaching his chakra threads to the puppets, they made clanking sounds as they huddled closer to us.

I felt myself shrink, shutting my eyes. Sasori... You miss them so much, don't you? I wanted to say, yet I knew it wouldn't change much. In the end, he would become a rogue ninja, a missionary, and later on— dead.

I didn't like the thought of it.

"Khi...!" Hearing the sharp intake of my relative, my eyes snapped open. Did Grandma Chiyo see us? The puppets that were once hugging us were now on the ground limp and cold. Just like a puppet.

I tilted my head up to see the frustrated expression of the redhead. "Sasori-san..." I couldn't find the words.

"It's fine." He spoke. Whether he was convincing me or himself, I didn't know. Wrapping his arms around my waist tightly, his chin propped against my head. "I only need you."

"I... I don't thi—think that's possible...!" I retorted back uncertainly, my eyes shifting to the ground. After all, I'm not good. I can't do much. I can only do things when people want me to.

I lie.

Just like what I'm doing right now. My chest felt so tight and heavy. I don't like it but— I don't want him to hate me, at how useless and terrible I am.

"Can you sing for me, doll?"

"Of course, Sasori-kun."

I'd rather be sent to hell than have those dear to me hate me.

"Sasori-kun?" I knocked three times. No answer. "Sasori-kun, are you there?" Still no answer. I let out a sigh. Grandmother Chiyo needed something from him but I guess he's busy. I placed my hand on the flat surface of the door, only to want to walk away. Well, I shouldn't be here anyway—

I heard a creek. "Huh?" Darting my eyes back, the door had moved, giving just the smallest crack. It's unlocked? Peering closer, I saw that the other side was empty. Sasori's not here?

I gulped nervously as the curiosity in me grew. I know I shouldn't but... I weakly pushed forward. I want to see what he has made.

Stepping in, I had to take in all the stationary. The workplace had supplies neatly stacked on a desk with many... um... I tried my very best to not look at the puppets hung on the walls. (It reminded me of—) So... this is where Sasori works. It's... pretty. I thought to myself, walking over to the desk.

There was a large paper that had large sketches and notes scribbled on it. Could this be another project? It looks familiar. I wondered, tracing my fingers on its outlines. The drawing had a long head with two long horns and six arms. Based on the notes on the sides, it's purpose is to capture its opponents.

I furrowed my brows. A puppet that only has one purpose? "It seems good but..."

"But?"

My breath hitched, whipping my head from behind. No no no! Pushing myself back, I felt my heart pound so much. It hurts... "Sa— Sasori-kun! I, um, I just—" The lump in my throat became unbearable as the tightness in my chest made me want to cry. "I was just— um, I," I bowed my head. "I'm sorry!"

Please don't hate me please don't hate me please don't hate me pleasepleaseplea—

"It's fine." I almost choked at the sound of that.

"Huh...?" My head perked up.

What...?

The boy looked unfazed, yet he seemed... happy? Maybe even proud? "If it's you, doll," Stepping at my side, I had to crane my head to look at him. "I don't mind."

'I don't mind', those words repeated on and on in my head like a mantra. He doesn't... care? Does that mean... he's okay with me? I flinched at the touch of his thumb pressing lightly at my cheek. "Don't cry, it doesn't suit you." He ordered bluntly, yet there was a sort of softness to it.

It felt... nice.

My head bobbed downwards as my eyes landed on the ground. My heart... I can feel it but, it doesn't feel bad. "Mmn." I let out.

"Anyways," Sasori tore away his attention to the blueprints. "What was that you said about this?"

"A-Ah!" I stammered, raising my hands frantically. It just slipped out! "I, well— I," I hung my head. "I just think that it... seems impractical."

The redhead tilted his head, expression never changing— like he wasn't capable of doing so. "Care to explain?"

My lips pushed together. "I mean," My words paused, forming my thoughts out slowly. "For it to only capture... it seems less versatile and more— more of a hassle." I suddenly just realized what I just said. "Uh— well," I fumbled on my words with shakey hands. "I mean— it can be used efficiently as support! I just," I swallowed the lump in my throat sheepishly. "Feel like something can be changed."

From the corners of my eyes, the redhead placed a hand over his mouth in thought. "I see," Before I could apologize, I felt a hand on mine. I gasped, focusing my attention on him— he was smiling. "Thank you."

'Thank you'. When was the last time someone said that to me? Everything slowed to a stop right there and then.

I couldn't believe it: I was thanked. For something that wasn't even that good! Or— or even that important.

I... liked it.

"Thank you..." I felt compelled to say. "Thank you..."

"Stop repeating it."

"Sorry."

"Stop that as well."

"Doll, is there something wrong?" I dreaded that line.

Tilting my head up at my relative who stared back at me with the same half-lidded eyes, I forced a smile. "I'm— I'm fine," I said.

"That doesn't sound like it."

Standing up from his desk, he approached me. His messy red hair swayed as his head cocked to the side. "You know I hate waiting, say it." I flinched at the harsh tone, causing the boy to blink. I watched him sigh (I can't believe I bothered him— again.), "I mean, can you tell me?"