[Chapter 24: Road work ahead? Uh yeah, I sure hope so]

"Oi, Megumi, Teme! Wanna go on a trip with me and Ero-seinnin?" Naruto asked us one night when he crashed into our apartment. I raised my head up from my spot on the sofa to see the blond sitting on one of our high chairs next to the small kitchen countertop. He had tilted his head with a small grin, Kyaaaa~ that's adorable!

Huh, I thought whilst blinking. He's supposed to know about the trip when he's eating out. I don't even know how I changed that.

"'Kay, I have nothing to do anyway," I answered over the noise that the television was made. Internally, I was squealing like Ino, fucking finally something to be excited about!

"I can't. I have to train with Kakashi-sensei." Sasuke spoke beside me, flipping through the channels with a deadpan as he fucking ate a tomato whole. I get it: it's a meme but still, how the fuck does he did not get sick of eating it like that?!

Naruto groaned as if expecting it. Which, if you know him (ya should, it's a fucking fanfic centered around being his twin), then you would be stupid to not expect something like that from the revenge-obsessed duckling.

"Damn, only Megumi's going. I even asked Hinata and Hiro but they also couldn't go, dattebayo!" He huffed.

I giggled at his small tantrum, "Well, they're basically bound to their clan." I glanced back at our favorite blond shinobi, "So, when do we go on our main quest?"

"Ah. There she is!"

"Who?"

"Doki!"

"Who are you talking about, brat?" Jiraiya asked with a deadpan, sitting up from his spot. Walking up to him with Naruto trailing along with me, we were under the gates in the bright morning.

"Haaaah?" Naruto let out a confused noise, darting his head between me and the older person. "When did you meet Ero-seinnin?"

"Don't call me that." The legend muttered under his breath, sighing as if he was already in defeat.

"Ya remember you fainting when training?" I asked to him, gingerly fiddling with my open skirt with excitement. The blond slowly nodded, looking as clueless as ever. "Well, I met the dude when hauling your ass back." He let out an audible sound of understanding before turning around. I giggled, stepping forward to step in line with them, "Lead the way, Ero-seinnin!"

"You too?" Came his dry response.

꒱

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Are we ther—"

Jiraiya sharply turned to face my direction, pointing a finger at me with a glare.We are not there yet!" Shifting away, he crossed his arms, "Should've only brought Naruto." The man mumbled under his breathe, though we both heard it anyways.

I giggled at his misery, turning my head to meet Naruto's enthusiastic eyes, puffing out my cheeks into a childish pout, "I thought this was gonna be an exciting trip! I'm bored." I complained like the ungrateful bitch I am.

Naruto only chuckled with his hands behind his back (how is that comfortable?), "Don't worry, Megumi! Ero-seinnin here gonna get this girl and I'll learn a new jutsu, believe it!"

"Really?" I asked with false curiosity, considering the fact that I already knew. "Well, it better be a useful one," I added with a smile, poking his cheek eagerly. I giggled as he let out a shout, quickening my pace before it swiftly became a childish game of tag.

As we ran around him, the white-haired male just sighed.

⚛꒨꒨

"Here's the room key! You two can work on your chakra or whatever!" Jiraiya swiftly ushered us away, shoving the key onto Naruto's hands.

"O-Oi," Naruto stammered one shocked protest. "What are ya telling me to do?!"

"Come back when you actually get a stable relationship!" I called out to the man before turning back to the main protagonist.

"I hope he gets rejected and goes to crippling debt."

I sniffed, wiping away a fake tear with a grin, oh how I have corrupted you! "Hehe, might as well go," I suggested, striding alongside with him as we then found our room.

Opening the door, I watched my friend run in and jump on the bed, frowning as he sat there, "What's wrong with him?! He's always like this!" He whined, crossing his arms.

I giggled as I rushed in to face plant myself onto the bed, stuffing it onto one of the pillows. "Jiraiya probably just so done with being lonely." I joked, turning around to face the ceiling. Blinking, I internally giggled as I felt the arc finally picking up. They really ain't even trying. "Oh, and don't use your chakra right now."

"Eh...?" He let out, rotating his body slightly to meet my gaze with a raised brow, placing his hands on his feet in monk position. "But I need to get stronger!"

"Oh god, you sound like Sasuke," I mumbled under my breath. "Just trust me on this," I answered, relishing the few seconds of peace before someone gets gravely traumatized again.

The said few seconds was soon obliterated by the sound of knocking on our door, sitting up, I stretched whilst creating satisfying cracks of my joints, "I'll go get it," I gleefully stated, patting Naruto's fuzzy head, earning a half-hearted complaint in response. Standing up, I slipped a kunai into one of my hands as I casually walked up to what could be my death. Again.

I cleared my throat when placing my other hand on the doorknob and, in a manner one does not do when on a suicide mission, unleashed hell.

"Welcome to Freddy Fazbear's Pizza!" I chanted as I met the gaze of a familiar set of Sharingan eyes. I smiled as they flickered an emotion akin to recognition, "A magical place for kids and grown-ups alike, where fantasy and fun come to life!"

Behind him, another familiar face stepped up, "Is the Kyuubi-brat really here?" Kisame piped up with the usual shark-like grin.

"Megumi, who're you talking to?" Naruto's voice pierced the one-sided conversation, his figure appearing at the other end of the view. I resisted the urge to fondly sigh, he really wanted to enter the action, didn't he?

Itachi looked like he also wanted to sigh but decided not to, instead of commenting his input, "He is over there."

I tilted my head with false ignorance, "Fazbear entertainment is not responsible for damage to property or person, don't ya know?"

My brother then pushed me aside, my body gently bumping against the wall as he moved forward with his partner. "Why don't we have a talk, Kyuubi holder?"

"Oh— no," Was the boy's immediate response, stepping forward when he eyed me, "My friend taught to say no to suspicious people, dattebayo!"

"Pffft...!" I slapped a hand over my mouth, this was not the right time to say that kind of thing! I'm pretty sure all of them heard it though— oh well, ain't my problem. Stepping out of our room that we barely got in, I did a pitiful attempt to whistle as my friend reluctantly stepped out along with the Akatsuki members. Naruto ran up to me, staying close as his discomfort practically oozed out.

"Itachi-san," The shark-man spoke, his right hand on the handle of samehara. "It's time we get started. Why don't we cut off their legs? Then they won't be running around then."

Chucking my kunai at them, I was not surprised to see the taller man just tilt his head to the other side. "You're really bad at kidnapping someone," I commented with a slight smile, holding the blond's hand to reassure him. I raised the other hand and waved, "And you're late, foolish little brother."

There stood Sasuke, in all of his sweaty, wheezing, duck ass glory. He was glaring at Itachi, the Sharingan glowing as he clenched his fists, "Uchiha Itachi...!"

"It has been a while, Sasuke, Megumi." The weasel spoke in a quiet tone. My smile almost faltered— for some reason, it just sounded so heartbroken to me. I dismissed it, along with the slight pain in my chest and the bitterness in my throat: it was not the time to think about that.

"Hiya to you too!" I greeted back, being as cheerful as I can be. The older, dark-haired man only glanced at me before turning his attention back at the youngest. I puffed my cheeks, is this what I get for giving him taste-enhancing forks?

"What a great day... I haven't seen another pair of Sharingan in a long time." Kisame commented.

"Same." I droned out because it was true, if you don't count the pst arcs.

"I'll..." My twin muttered under his breath, "I'll you...!"

"Who are they? They seem to know you."

"They are... my younger siblings."

"No shit." I interrupted their short, little conversation with a clap of my hands. "But nobody really cares about that. Come on, Naruto, let's ditch these two!" I slightly tugged the said boy promptly, earning a confused 'what does he mean?!' from him.

"Oh no, you are not going anywhere," Kisame replied back, turning back to us with his sword out menacingly.

"You..." Sasuke continued his little edgy monologue. "I've been waiting for this day-- I've lived hating you and now I finally have this chance!" He then yelled, his left hand glowing brightly as I could hear the faint chirping of birds.

I sighed, deciding to just body-ficker both myself and the Kyuubi-holder next to him. Placing a hand on his shoulder, I felt my brother tense before sharply rotating is neck to face me, abruptly canceling his jutsu at my appearance.

"Don't." Was all I simply commanded him as Naruto gagged beside me. The sudden speed sucks, doesn't it?

"" Came his loud retort, his glaring eyes now focused at me, "This is what I've lived for! I have to take revenge for our family!"

"And ya think you can actually do that now?" I countered back without a beat, releasing my hand on Naruto. "Really, if Orochimaru slapped your ass like rotisserie chicken, what makes you think you can do the same with him?" I added, pointing at the said older brother.

Sasuke's expression became conflicted, though it wasn't because of my wording, "But-- I...!"

"Hn, enough with this," Itachi suddenly spoke up. Within a second, he appeared right in front of me, and in the next, I was suddenly flung harshly against the wall.

I spat out blood from the impact, eyes widen from the pain-- man, this just brings back memories. Nostalgic, am I right? "What in the mint chocolate chip did you do that for, you mountain road excuse of a brother!" I screamed back to S-rank criminal when I finally regained my footing.

"Nee-chan!" My twin called out, voiced filled with pain and rage. He then turned back at Itachi, "I'll kill you...!" With his hand crackling with the same bright glow as before, he thrust it with all of his might, the walls ripping away from the force. Sadly for duckling, it was only stopped by his enemy with a hold of his wrists, his jutsu canceling.

He then twisted, Sasuke's arm releasing painful-sounding cracks as our younger brother fell down. "You two are in the way." Was all Itachi said before focusing his gaze on our blond friend again.

I... I am very tempted to spill almost every little embarrassing thing he did. I thought vaguely in my head. Body-flickering next to Naruto, I pulled him away from the taller Akatsuki member. "Watch out for him, Naruto. He seems like a bitch and a half to deal with."

"Are you ok, Megumi?!" The usually cheery blond questioned, ignoring my past comment, staring at the wound at my left shoulder.

I smiled, patting his head in reassurance. "Don't worry about that. I'm just glad he didn't get the stomach." Placing my attention back to the Sharkman, letting my features brighten as I let out a surprised sound, "I didn't introduce myself yet!" Waving at the person who may or may not kill me, I put on my best smile, "I'm Megumi Uchiha, thanks for taking care of my foolish older brother."

Kisame's grin faltered. Heck, he even let himself look confused. "... You're a weird one."

I shrugged with a small giggle, though it kinda hurt cuz, uh, hello? Shoulder in pain here. "Beats being called normal." Eyeing the sword held in his grip, I pointed at it, "What's that? I'm pretty sure Naruto was supposed to summon a tiny-ass frog."

"Hey!"

"Don't worry, child, you'll get your head rubs later."

He rose a brow- oh wait he doesn't- wait he actually does. Huh. Apparently, a fish can get one but a red panda and a cow I call bullshit. "My 'Samehada' can steal chakra."

"Mkay, so it's an OP weapon that has SP steal, nice," I commented with a thumb and index finger under my chin. Hey, isn't Jiraiya supposed to be he--

And there's the puff of smoke and frog we were waiting for. "You don't seem to know much about me but, I'm better at picking up girls--" In a dungeon? "-- than the other way around." The older, white-haired man did his usual pose, hands out. "I, Jiraiya, am the epitome of man-illness! I will fall for no-no woman's seductions! When you're someone like me, you'll only have to flash that sexiness to have women fall onto their knees for you."

"Pffft." I let out, covering my mouth with a hand, turning away as if that would hide my amusement. Yeah right, says the ultimate Tsunade simp.

After Naruto calling out on his bullshit and Jiraiya setting the unconscious girl down, he got back up, a serious expression plastered on his face. "So you are after Naruto." He concluded in a low, grave voice.

The weasel tilted his head down as he stood next to our fallen sibling. "No wonder Kakashi knew about this: You were his source of information." He shifted his posture to better view his partner. "'To abduct Naruto', that was our mission assigned by Akatsuki's leader."

"You won't get Naruto."

"And why not?"

"Because," The sannin was glaring at this point. "You two will die by my hand."

"Don't." Came a weak and cracking voice, one that hed much hatred and anger. Pushing himself up, I shifted my weight as Sasuke struggled to get up. "This... this guy... is "

"I have no interest in you." Itachi retaliated, kicking him to the wall. The younger let out a painful groan, falling to the ground once again.

"Sasuke!" Naruto called out, furrowing his brows in anger, You assholes!"

"Naruto!" Sasuke shouted at him, "I said don't!"

"And I said: stop!" I yelled right back at him, frowning immaturely with crossed arms. Glancing at my shoulder, I found that it had turned rapidly into a purple bruise. I winced with a small whimper, that ain't gonna heal fast.

And thus proceeds Itachi's All-out-attack on Sasuke. I cringed at each sound: I get it, he's supposed to secure that Sasuke's hatred is intact so that he can die later but damn, that's brutal.

Finally done with his bullshit, I just whipped up another kunai and shot it to his head, him just casually catching it as I then teleported next to him with another weapon in my hand, just under his chin. "For fuck's sake, Ni. This is just too much." I told him, my brows furrowing.

"Shut up, Nee-chan!" Was Sasuke's shakily replied as he gagged on his own blood, his body carried by one hand.

Itachi just stared at us, his eyes swirling into a new form, "Foolish little siblings, you both lack hatred." Shutting my eyes shut, I had to brace myself at my twin's dreadful, suffering shriek.

For the millionth time today, I had to cringe, swinging my kunai back to force Itachi away. Getting low, I caught my younger brother in a bridal carry to make sure he didn't take any more damage.

Can flex tape fix mental damage?

"Ninpou Gamaguchi Shipari!" Jiraiya's voice boomed across the hallway. Within the next instant, the walls and ground turned into a pinky flesh color, filled with bumps resembling ones in a stoma- oh wait it is one. "Too bad, Itachi, Kisame: you two are already in my stomach!" I heard him say as I forced myself to turn around. Owwwww, now my shoulder really hurts. "Black magic to summon the esophagus of the giant toad from Myouki Mountain, rock inn. You wanted criminals, Hope you enjoy being food to Iwagama!"

"Wh-what's going on here?!" Naruto yelped, staring at the gummy-like floor. To be honest, if I didn't know about this, I would've also freaked out.

"Breakfast!" Did I just reuse a joke? So what? It's not like I get copyrighted- oh shit they

"Stay still, brat! It's just my Jutsu!"

"Bye-bye now, Ni," I said softly to my older brother with a smile. He simply just glanced back at me before turning back, running away with Kisame. Catching up with Naruto and his sensei with a corpse-like Sasuke in my arms, I stared at the burning view as Itachi's and Kisame's forms slowly disappeared.

Setting my brother down, I called out to the fox-like boy. "Naruto! Don't touch that!" He looked back at me quickly, his face contorted into one of confusion, like the same as the whole ordeal. "That's Amaterasu: a jutsu that creates a black, eternal fire. Like- uh- like a cheater who doesn't know how to quit!"

"Why would you give that example?" Was the young blond's immediate question as he scrunched up his nose in disgust.

"It was the first thing that came to mind, ok?!" I'm so sorry Kushina— I have taught him something so sickening but he must know.

"Getting back on track," Jiraiya interrupted, turning his head to look down at me with narrowed eyes, "How do you know that?" The Sannin next to me asked, his brows creased with caution.

"About cheaters?"

"No."

I giggled, covering my mouth as I did so. I guess I shouldn't joke around when he's like that. "He used the same jutsu when he killed our clan," I lied as easily as I breathed. My eyesight fell into his scroll, "You should probably seal them up until the whole stomach gets roasted."

After he did all that and shit, he released his jutsu. And just when he finished up all that-- "DYNAMIC ENTRY!!!" Aaaaaand now he's knocked out. Nice.

"I'll be going with Gai-sensei," I told the group, hands behind my back.

"What?" Naruto asked worryingly, placing his hands on my shoulders. "Are ya sure?!"

I giggled whilst gently shoving them off, "Well, someone needs to pay for Sasuke's hospital fees. (ungrateful ass) Also, my shoulder kinda feels like Choji sat on it soooo..." Feeling my waist getting pulled up, I found myself dangling on one of Gai's shoulders like a sack of cannibalistic potatoes. Glancing around, I saw an unconscious Sasuke on the jonin's other shoulder.

"Off we go!" Gai exclaimed with his famous smile and thumbs up. How he does that without dropping us is a mystery to me.

"Wha- wait, hold up--" I frantically stuttered, rushing to grab something in preparation of the chaos that is soon to ensue.

"Here we goooo!"

I failed.