"Are you sure you're ready?" Padge called out to me for about the sixth time.

Yep, you guessed it. Being the big softy that I was, Matt had convinced me to perform in place of him for tonights show. As we had walked back to the bus, I could tell he was in no right state of mind to perform, so I gave in and agreed to his idea.

I nodded at Padge and waited for him to run out on stage, making the crowd go even crazier. Moose and Jay were already on stage so once Padge had gone out, I ran after him, taking a breath in and hoping that the audience were cool with tonights arrangements.

We kicked straight in with Pleasure and Pain and got the crowd running around and going crazy. I missed being on stage in front of crowds like these ones.

I smiled as I continued singing the words, with us heading straight into Scream Aim Fire as soon as Pleasure and Pain had finished.

"How's everyone doing on this very fine evening?!" I yelled out once we had finished the second song. The crowd responded by screaming out and I smiled, continuing what I was saying.

"You've probably noticed the lack of Bullet members here tonight on stage. Matt isn't doing so well today so I'm here to take his place just for tonight, and also tomorrow in worst case scenarios. You guys Ok with that?"

Once again, everyone cheered out and shouted. I guess that was a positive response. I smiled and done a few random string bending on Matts guitar that I had placed around me before introducing the next song.

"Ok, ok, I'll stop that now, this next song is called Riot and I wanna see all you motherfuckers starting exactly that in the middle right there!" I called out, pointing at everyone in the middle of the crowd, who began forming a mosh pit as the song kicked in.

*****

"Thank you everyone for an amazing night! You've all been absolutely fantastic, see you soon!" I yelled into the mic as the crowd cheered one last time.

I ran off to the side of the stage and placed my mic on one of the tables in the small room that I entered. Once there I turned and felt someone hugging me, recognising the familiar smell of body spray and cigarettes, I smiled and hugged Matt back.

"Thank you so much, you were fucking brilliant out there," He mumbled with his face buried in my hair.

"Thanks, I'm glad you think so."

"Maybe you should just take my place, you seem to fit in quite well with the other boys."

I laughed a bit and smiled, watching as Matt half smiled at me and stared into my eyes.

"Uh, Matt? You're kinda staring, is there something wrong?" I asked. He blinked and looked away quickly, lifting his hand to scratch the back of his neck.

"Ah, no nothing wrong I just uh..." He trailed off without finishing the sentence.

Looking up at him, I realized how dull his eyes still looked. He seemed absolutely shattered, I knew truly he wasn't happy at the moment.

Matt took my hand and led me out to the back of the building where the other boys were waiting for us with a few fans.

"Finally arrived, these guys have been waiting to get pictures!" Moose called over to us as we got closer. I peeked up at Matt who instantly threw on the happy face, although he didn't make any attempt in hiding the sadness in his voice.

"We really loved the concert tonight, Crystal was great at taking your place. What was wrong if you don't mind me asking?" One of the fans asked after having a picture taken it Matt.

"Uh, I've just been trying to get rid of a throat infection from the end of the last tour we were on," Matt answered easily but quietly.

The fans seemed to believe him and they continued taking pictures until everyone was happy. They said bye to us all and headed off on their way home, leaving us to finish packing up and get back on the bus to get some sleep.

After about two hours of helping to make sure everything was packed up and ready for the next venue, we were finally able to head off and chill in the bus.

"Give me the fucking phone, we are getting kebab!"

"No way mate! Now pizza is where it's at."

"Why don't we just-"

"Crystal shush, you're not part of this."

"I will be if you don't put that bloody pillow back on the sofa!"

I stood and looked at the scene before me. Moose and Padge were stood with their arms wrapped around eachother in attempt to grab the takeaway menus that they were fighting for. Moose had then grabbed a pillow from behind Padge and tried to get out of his grip by hitting him repeatedly over the head.

"Why don't I just phone in everyone's personal preferences?" Matt said while walking straight past them and grabbing the menu from Padge's hand with no effort.

He walked up next to me and jumped on top of the counter, leaning his head on my shoulder.

"So I know what all these fuckers are gonna want, would did you have in mind?" He turned to look in my direction as I read through the menu.

"I'll only get something if you eat something too. I'm not having another mother and son dinner session of trying to feed you," I replied. I chose what I wanted and pointed it out to Matt, who began writing everything down for us all.

"And which one of them are you having?" I raised my eyebrow and looked at him once he set the finished list on the side to grab his phone.

"Well I figured that you might need help eating a whole meat feast pizza, with a side of onion rings and chips, with extra sauce and salad."

I stuck my tounge out at him as he read back what I had asked for, making him chuckle. I don't know why but it always felt like an achievement whenever I managed to make him laugh or smile.

"Hey don't hate, a girl's gotta eat," I told him as he dialed in the phone number and held the phone to his ear.

I walked off to the back of the bus, feeling Matt watching me as I did so. Seeing that Jay was now out of the shower, I quickly got my wash stuff together and nabbed the small box room before anyone else could.

I took off my shirt, leaving me in my bra and jeans, and grabbed my plain black hoodie and a pair of boxers. I carried them into the bathroom, my eyes catching sight of Matt, who was still on the phone. His head was tilted down slightly and his was staring at me through his eyelashes with a deep glazy stare that could send shivers down my back.

I blushed slightly and turned into the bathroom after he half smiled at me in a cheeky manner and winked at me before turning away to finishing ordering everyone's food.

Once I had shut and locked the door I stripped and got in the shower turning it on and setting it to the right temperature. I washed all the stage sweat and dirt out of my hair and washed all over my body.

Afterwards I just stayed in the shower and began thinking about Matt, again. I wouldn't say he was being confusing, but the way he was acting around me was definitely interesting to me. He'd only just got the news that he's basically divorced and his kid wasn't actually his, and he's acting like this towards me.

I mean, I get that he wants to probably just forget about it and not be upset over it, but it was still weird. Don't get me wrong, like I said I do really like him, probably even love him since the last tour I was with them for, but whether he was being like this just to cheer himself up or if he actually feels something for me was another thing I had to figure out.

And God, don't even get me started on that look he just gave me earlier. Not going to lie though, it was dam hot. He'd never looked at me like that before, even though it wasn't weird that he saw me with no shirt on. I've toured with them before so it didn't really bother me who saw me with no shirt on.

Anyways, I stayed in the shower until one of the boys came to knock and tell me that dinner was here. I turned the shower off and stepped out, drying myself off with the towel and changing into my hoodie and boxers. I made sure that all my makeup was off, then I towel dried my hair as much as possible and left it to finish off drying in its natural waves.

The smell off take away food hit me as I stepped out of the bathroom to join the boys who were already starting on their food.

"Ah, nice of you to join us miss Tuck," Moose joked as I looked at him and blushed gain slightly.

"Miss Tuck? Ok for that to work it would have to be Mrs, idiot," Matt replied, matter of factly. I smiled slightly and he smiled back winking once more before waving his hand at me, gesturing me to sit with him.

I joined them all at the table and Jay leaned over to reach into the fridge, pulling out some beers and passing them round to everyone.

Taking one for myself, I opened it and began drinking, not noticing that Matt was watching my quietly again.

We all continued eating, laughing and joking about random things, with Moose and Padge occasionally making jokes about me and Matt. At some points they would mimic us in fake scenarios that they would make up. They were funny, until the two of them started mimicking sex noises, making Jay laugh and me blush quite a bit. Matt just sat there unphased by it all, laughing at how stupid they were being.

"... And then we'd probably have to evacuate the bus, coz I doubt they'd be the quietest pair. We won't be able to get back in for another 4 hours or something coz all it'll be is uh-"

"Ok! I think we should call it a night there, mate," Matt interrupted before Moose and Padge could start up again.

I gave him a thankful look and he smiled slightly in return.

I ended up being the one to clear everything away once. I didn't mind, in fact I told the boys not to worry and that they should just go and relax and do whatever.

While clearing away, I heard someone walk up and put there arms around me, resting their head on my shoulder,

"You know, it's usually a guessing game when people do that, but I think its a bit obvious who you are," I said, hearing Matt chuckle a bit. I turned around to face him and took a small breath in at how close we were. His eyes were so beautiful, not to mention how close his lips were to mine...

"Come watch a film with me in the back?" He suggested. I nodded and told him to go set it up while I finish the last of the cleaning up.

After I was done, I went to join Matt in the back room, who was laying in a nest of blankets and pillows that he'd set up, with the Jackass 2 movie on the TV screen.

"I know how much you love Jackass, and I love blanket nests, so it seemed pretty perfect really."

I smiled and layed down next to him, pulling one of the many blankets over me while he pressed play on the remote. He threw the remote somewhere next to him and pulled me into his side, wrapping his arms around me so that I rested my head on his shoulder.

About halfway hough the film, I realized that Matts laughter had died down and I peered up at him to see him quietly sleeping, with small snoring sounds coming from him. I couldn't help but giggle at how adorable he looked.

After taking a quick picture of the way he was, I turned the film off and layed down next to him, making sure that we were both covered by blankets. I turned over and closed my eyes, slowly but eventually beginning to fall asleep myself, when I felt Matt sit up slightly, probably leaning up on his elbow. A few seconds passed then I felt a warmth up against my back and an arm snake securely around my waist.

Matt buried his face in the back of my neck and I snuggled into him, guiding my hand slowly towards his and interlocking our fingers. He held my hand and gently kissed the back of my neck, making my smile slightly and shivers going down my spine.

We both fell asleep like that, enjoying the comfort and the occasional murmuring of the boys in the other part of the bus. This is what I wanted every night.