*9 months later* (SHES NOT PREGANT)

I tugged at the silky fabric of my gown, making sure the Velcro was secured in the front. Brushing back a stray piece of red hair, curled into a long ringlet.

"Gloria, if you keep touching your hair, the curls are going to come out," my mom advised. A smile was still glued to her face and had been there since we woke up this morning.

Even though my mom was happy to see me graduate and accomplish something this big, I couldn't help but notice the sadness that was behind her eyes. I was leaving her, and we were the only person the other one had. I had gotten into Georgetown in December because of early decision and signed my letter of intent for baseball just last month. Thankfully, Georgetown isn't far from my house, so I could visit her every weekend if I wanted to, but this was the beginning of a new chapter for us. One without the other right there.

Over the past couple months, however, a man had come into my mom's life. Adam was great for my mom and someone that I knew was right for her. He could never replace my dad in either of our hearts, and he was ok with that. He still adored my mom and would be there for her since I wouldn't be at home as much.

He had even come to my graduation, standing behind my mom with the same smile.

A few feet away was Ellie being nitpicked by her mom, fixing the gown, cap, and her hair. Always the worrier between our moms. Ellie batted her hands away, along with whining, which was nothing new from her.

I turned on my phone to check for a certain text I had been waiting for. Nothing.

I had told Miles my graduation date for weeks now, and I already knew he couldn't make it.since it was the day of their second round playoff game for the high school championship. We had lost for the Maryland one already, but placed 5th in the state.

I hadn't seen Miles in weeks. The last few months of high school have been crazy for the both of us and visits just haven't been working out. Throughout the year, they maybe happened once a month, twice if we were lucky. Texting was every day, but it just wasn't the same.

The visit to George Mason for him went perfectly and he was offered a scholarship on the spot. He took it without hesitation. For the next four years, we would be only thirty minutes apart. Possibly less, if we end up moving in together like we plan.

I couldn't lie that I was a bit irritated he hadn't texted me today. Not even a good job, good luck, or I'm proud of you.

I threw my phone back into my mom's purse, so it wouldn't be lost.

"Nothing?" my mom asked softly. She knew it was a sensitive subject for me.

I only shrugged in reply, hoping to seem slightly like I cared less. On the inside, it was a mixture of irritation and disappointment. I was worried about our relationship because of our lack of communication recently. I cared for Miles greatly, but the distance might be wearing the connection down.

My mom watched me sympatheticly while I turned away to gather myself.

Graduation was being held on the football field like every year. Chairs were set up for the seniors on the field, while families and other guests were up in the stadium bleachers. The bleachers were already half full and more people kept filing in. I gazed around at the other graduates milling around the field with their maroon and white gowns and caps. The girls were in white and boys in the dark maroon.

The loud speaker crackled on and an announcement was made, "Graduates please make your way to your assigned seat. Thank you."

I hugged my mom one last time, but held on to her for longer than she expected.

"I wish he could be here," I said softly. My eyes burned ever so slightly.

"Me too," my mom agreed.

I bit my lip to hold it from trembling. My mom rubbed my back comfortingly. Before I let her go, I blinked to push the tears back.

My mom leaned back from me and wiped a finger under my eye.

"This is not the time for runny makeup," she joked.

I gave her a watery smile and again smoothed out my gown.

She walked up to the bleachers with Adam, giving me a sad smile over her shoulder. Ellie's mom was finally pulled away by her husband to follow them up the stairs.

Ellie spun around to face me with her usual wide grin. Her hair was as straight as a pin and flung around her shoulders. She had bought a canary yellow dress with small cutouts on her sides and grey colored pumps. She looked radiant as always.

On the other hand, I wore a light lavender colored baby doll dress with thin spaghetti straps. At my midriff, a two inch piece of lace replaced the fabric, so a sliver of skin could be seen through it. I opted for light brown strappy wedges, and it seemed I chose right with footwear.

"God damn it," Ellie muttered as she pulled her foot out of the field's grass. With each step, her heel was sticking into the soft grass.

I couldn't help but throw my head back and laughed loudly at her very dramatic struggle with her shoes.

"Shut it," she yelped, flailing her arm out at me. I stepped back and she couldn't reach me. I laughed harder at her continued muttering. "If you didn't look so nice right now, I would tackle you," she threatened.

"You don't look so bad yourself," I threw back, steadying her as she swayed from side to side with her shoes.

I helped her down the aisle of chairs to hers in the front, close to mine. We were only about five seats away.

"At least, we're in the front row, so you don't have to walk too far in the grass."

Ellie flopped into her chair with the same dramatics. I took a seat as well.

"Did Miles text you?" she questioned, taking off one heel and picking the dirt off the end.

I shook my head, the curls bouncing on my shoulders.

"Oh," was all she could say, knowing as well that the situation bothered me quite a bit. "Don't worry. He'll call or text you soon."

I once again shrugged. It was my only response at this point.

The rest of our class took their seats along with us. The rustling of our gowns filled the air with a whisper of a conversation sometimes being spoken.

Everyone had grown fairly silent as they realized to the full extent that this was it. We were done with high school and done with the first chapter of our lives. For the last four years, these were the people that we had grown up with. Some were kids that I've known since the days of kindergarten and pigtails.

I glanced over my shoulder and caught the eye of Blake. He grinned at me and waved. I did the same back. I repeated the same thing, catching the eyes of my classmates that have become some of my closest friends in a very short amount of time.

Small smiles were shared with each one, fully understanding that this could be the last time that we saw each other.

I met Ellie's eyes last and shared a look with her, relishing in the moments that I could lock eyes with my best friend.

Ellie had gotten a scholarship to do gymnastics at the University of Florida, and she signed her letter of intent with me just last month. She was going to be hundreds of miles away from me. Neither her or I have let that idea totally sink in since she decided on Florida. We focused only on the summer months that were rapidly approaching and making memories to last.

The one good thing for my best friend was that Jackson was going to the University of Georiga for baseball and wouldn't be too far away.

Her mom absolutely loved Jackson and was thrilled he was going to be close to her. Jackson was of course with Miles at their high school game, so he couldn't make it either, but he had called Ellie before the game had started. I had wished he had pushed Miles to calling or even texting, but not a message came to my phone.

The principal came to the microphone to speak. "Good evening and welcome to the Graduation of James Madison High School's Class of 2016."

After his first sentence, I began to zone out. I wasn't bored, but the last couple weeks have been far from stress-free. I was tired and so many things weighed on my mind.

I tipped my head back and watched the clouds above my head. It was six o'clock and the sun was beginning to sink to the west, but the clouds were still their usual puffy white figures. I searched for shapes like I always did. My dad suddenly flashed through my mind. As my mom said, we were always the ones with our heads in the clouds. It was a pretty literal observation. My dad and I were notorious for cloud watching and finding shapes. Now, it was just a habit.

Tears pricked at the corners of eyes yet again when my mind began to reel through memories of my dad. One of the critical moments in my life, and he couldn't be here for it.

I know he was looking down on me, but I longed for his physical being. This was only the beginning of these type of moments without him though. I twisted the blue ribbon that I had tied to my wrist earlier. I wanted every piece of him with me today.

I squeezed my eyes tightly shut, seeing his face clearly in my mind. His large grin and sparkling eyes were vivid in my mind. His voice rang in my ears. "Come on, Red, don't cry for me. Look how far you've come. I'm so proud of everything that you've done since I've been gone. I'll always be with you. I love you, Gloria."

My eyes sprang open, hoping to see him in front of me. I was only met with the stage and our valedictorian speaking behind the podium. I shook my head lightly, realizing how long I've been zoning out for.

Zachary was the valedictorian for our class. The kid was ridiculously smart and going to Brown in the fall to study biochemistry. If you wanted to guess the next Nobel Peace Prize winner, I would put all of my money on him. I had a few classes over the years with him, but his schedule was packed with AP classes that I could not keep up with. Zachary was greatly respected by our class though, for not only being so smart, but always looking to help everyone and be genuinely nice.

I should have been paying attention to his speech, but my mind began to wander yet again. The memories of high school became like a movie in my head.

"Come on, Gloria. Just one time," Ellie persuaded, pulling on my arm.

"If we get caught, we're dead," I retorted, glancing around the empty hallway.

"If we keep standing here, we will."

She grabbed my hand and dragged me out of the school doors, towards the parking lot. We both snapped our heads around to look for the school moniters. None were in sight, so we made a mad dash for Ellie's car. Both of us were dying of laughter the whole way. Ellie pulled out of the parking lot before I had even put on my seatbelt.

"I'm feeling Sonic," she suggested. "I'm craving tater tots and a milkshake."

I nodded enthusiastically.

This was far from the last time that Ellie and I had ditched a few classes during this year and last year.

Both of our moms went off on us when they found out about our little Sonic stunt. I cracked a grin at that memory, shaking my head at our frantic run to the car. It only became funnier remembering that my mom's punishment was quickly lessened after she realized I had brought tater tots back for her. If you want to talk about a sucker for tater tots, that would be my mother.

I took another look at the stage, seeing our guest speaker speaking.

My mind wandered away yet again.

Swing music floated through the cherry blossom trees as Miles and I made our way down the sidewalk. We had decided to visit Washington D.C. for a long weekend during one of the cherry blossom blooms. Miles's hand was firmly held in mine as we strolled down the street. A wide smile was plastered to my face and could not be wiped away.

We had gone for lunch downtown at a cute, little cafe, and now we were walking around the monuments. It was around 4pm and getting close to the time we needed to leave. Miles and I had settled for a quiet walk with just the company of the other filling the quietness. We rounded the corner of the sidewalk and suddenly the source of music was heard. On a large grassy lawn in front of the Lincoln Memorial were about 40 people partnered together and swing dancing. A radio and speaker were set up close by. A few people milled around correcting form.

A light pink sign attached to a nearby light pole stated, "Free Swing Dancing Lessons 3:30-4:30."

I glanced up at Miles to see his reaction to the group. A light smile was painted on his face. Before I could even process it, he stepped in front of me and let go of my hand.

"Gloria Cantrell, will you do me the honor of dancing with me?" he asked, holding his hand out for me to take.

I laughed softly and nodded, placing my hand once again in his.

We joined the other 20 partners or so on the grassy lawn. The first five minutes was largely summarized by us watching other couples to figure out how to swing dance since the two of us were completely clueless. Once an instructor noticed our lost looks, she guided us through a few steps. The beginning was mainly stepping on each other's toes, but by the end, Miles was spinning me all over the grassy lawn.

Since then, every time we visited each other, at some point, Miles grabbed my hands at random and danced me around the kitchen of his house or mine. Usually music wasn't even playing but that did not stop us in any way.

I was pulled out of the stark memories when our principal came to the microphone again. His deep baritone voice snapped me right out. Everyone stood up in my row, which I quickly followed suit.

In a line, we all made our way to the steps of the stage. One at a time, we were called on stage to walk across and receive our diploma. There was about 32 kids in front of me. I bounced on my toes and watched each person go up.

If I was the first to trip up the stairs, I would not hear the end of it. I was not the most graceful in heels and going up stairs in front of a whole lot of people was going to be the true test.

You have to walk up four steps. You can do this. I was attempting to give myself a bit of confidence before I had to go.

"Eleanor Bullter," was said over the microphone.

I could practically see Ellie cringe at her full name. She easily made it up the steps and walked across the stage with confidence. Always light on her feet because of gymnastics. She had on five inch heels, but she didn't even stumble. I've seen her walk in much higher, so it wasn't a surprise. Not to mention that she spent quite a bit of her time walking around and doing flips on a four inch wide beam.

There were five kids now ahead of me. One by one they were called to the stage.

"Gloria Cantrell," the principal announced.

I took a deep breath before ascending the stairs, swaying just a tad on the second step. When I reached the top, weight floated off my shoulders and a smile worked itself on to my face. Like we had rehearsed during the run-through days before, I took my diploma from the hand of my principal, shaking his free hand.

I continued down the line of administration, shaking each of their hands as well and saying thank you. I was met with a congratulations from each.

When I got to the other side of the stage, another set of stairs was glaring at me, but one of the junior boys that was helping out was giving a hand to all the girls going down the stairs.

He offered a polite hand, which I happily accepted to hold while trying to get down the stairs without killing myself.

The attention was now on the next person walking across the stage, so I hustled down the front row to get to my seat.

The rest of the ceremony was a breeze. I clapped when each person went up on the stage to get their own diplomas. My mind was drifting yet again, but I didn't go as far as, basically dreaming.

It took a long time to get through the rest of the names of the graduates. Once everyone had successfully made their way across the stage and receive their diploma, the principal came back on the microphone to make final remarks.

As per tradition, we moved our tassel that was on the top of our cap to the left side, and just like in the movies, every single person in our class threw their cap in the air.

Cheers arose from our chairs when the prinicipal announced that the ceremony was finished. Ellie and I ran at each other and embraced in a tight hug.

"We did it," I muttered.

She only laughed. The last four years have been far from boring, but she and my mom were the main reasons I got through it at all. It had been a series of mountains and valleys. Some of the lowest points in my life had happened in the last four years, but at the same time, the happiest moments occurred. It has been two years since I was raped at that party, but with certain people by my side, I've been able to persevere. It has become increasingly less a struggle to talk about that night. More people have been told, and I'm more comfortable talking about it.

I continued counseling after the summer at camp. I realized that as much as I thought I had gotten better, the dreams and what happened with Stephen only showed that I wasn't all the way better. I've come to terms with that as well. I wasn't going to get better overnight. My dad's death, the rape, and Stephen were traumatic events that shook me to the core. Slowly but surely, the dreams were becoming less frequent and looking back was becoming less difficult. Time was the only thing that going to heal it now.

"Thank you," I whispered as the hug continued. Those words could not sum up the amount of thankfulness I had for my best friend, but at the moment, I just wanted her to realize that I appreciated her to an extent she'll never know.

"Come on, Crybaby. Let's go find our parents," Ellie urged, unlatching herself from me and pulling me across the field.

"You suck," I complained, stomping behind her.

"I didn't realize we've been teleported back to 2nd grade."

I slapped at her hand, but she kept an iron grip on my wrist. I didn't even bother fighting her more because I knew she wasn't going to let my arm go until she was willing to.

"So what's our first plan for summer, Elle Bell? Party? Beach? Mall?" I questioned as she yanked me along.