I sat in the backseat of the car and closed my eyes, slamming my head onto the seat in front of me.

"I take it the reunion didn't go well," Cole remarked drily.

"No, I bolted as soon as I knew that they knew," I groaned.

"Ah," Cole said.

"Ah indeed," I chuckled wryly.

"Where to?" James asked.

"Anywhere except from here," I replied, leaning back in my seat.

"Well I have some news that might cheer you up," Cole grinned from his place in the front, "we've got a very strong lead on where Elise is."

I leaned forward in my seat and looked at him, "you're not kidding?"

Cole shot me a look, "I don't kid about this. I've sent you the address."

"Thanks!" I exclaimed, feeling jubilant. At last, I have found Elise- well, the boys did anyway- and when I see her again, I will-

You will what?

The smiled faded away as I realised that I didn't know what I was going to do.

Kill her? Did I have the guts to do that? Despite everything, Elise was still my mother- albeit not a good one.

"Everything okay?" James asked, looking at me from the mirror.

I gave him a fake smile, "fine... just can't believe I will be going back to my family soon."

Fortunately, they seemed to buy it.

X

At home, I quickly sprinted upstairs, making some lame excuse to get away. I lay on my bed and stared at the white ceiling, thinking how far I'd come these last few years.

It will all be over soon.

I checked the address Cole had texted me. Hesitantly, I went downstairs.

"Boys," I said softly ans they turned around, looking at me in concern, "I'm going to the address. Now."

"Are you sure?" James asked quietly.

"'If we wait until we're ready, we'll be waiting for the rest of our lives,'" I smiled, quoting 'A series of unfortunate events: The Ersatz Elevator' by Lemony Snicket (quote said by Violet Baudelaire).

Wordlessly, James and Cole stood in front of me and wrapped me in a bear hug.

"Thank you," I whispered, "thank you for sticking by me this past year."

"Any time Iris," Cole smiled back.

I went to the door and paused, "if I don't make it back-" I started.

"Don't say that," James cut in, "you will make it back. Or I will march down to the afterlife and drag your behind back."

I chuckled, "thank you," I whispered and then I left.

X

I walked to the address and took a deep breath. It was a huge glass building that gleamed in the sun. I walked inside and tensed, half expecting someone to attack me. I'd worn a wig but no contacts.

"Excuse me? I said to the receptionist, "where is Elise Allen?"

"On the sixth floor," he mumbled, not taking his eyes off his screen, "elevator is over there somewhere," he pointed in a random direction.

"Thanks," I replied and went to where he indicated. I stepped inside the elevator and leaned against the back wall, feeling a growing sense of apprehension.

The doors dinged open and I walked out, shoving my hands into my pockets. Glass doors lined the corridor and I scanned them all until I found one labelled 'Miss Elise Allen'.

I wrapped my hand around the cold, silver handle and hesitated for a split second. I gathered all my courage and opened it.

"Hello Iris," Elise said, spinning around in her black chair so she was facing me, "I've been expecting you."

I clenched my jaw and sat down opposite to her, "Hello Elise."

Her eyes softened when she regarded me. She reached out to grab me hand, but I jerked it back. She paused and leaned back.

"Why have you come here?" Elise asked.

I swallowed. For the past one year, I've been tracking her down. Now that I was actually face to face, the words got stuck in my throat.

"Why?" I whispered, my voice breaking a little, "why did you abuse me for eight years? Why did you threaten me? I just want to know why," I shakily inhaled.

"It's a long story," Elise said quietly, "and one that's not entirely pleasant, but I will tell it to you.

I'm not well. Mentally or physically. My physical health had always been deteriorating, but my mental health only started dissolving some thirty-four years ago- when the worst thing happened to me," she took a deep breath.

"My dad died when I was four and my Mom died a year after that, so I was sent to live with my Uncle Robert and his son and daughter.

I've never told anyone this, but my Uncle was incredibly abusive. My cousins- Dan and Kitty- did their best to shield me from it. I was the youngest, so Robert would target me. He would hit me, use me as an ashtray and so much more.

Once Dan turned eighteen, he tried to fight to gain custody of me and Kitty. I was only fourteen she was sixteen and he was winning. The three of us were walking home when these men appeared out of no where. They- they kidnapped the three of us and tortured Kitty and Dan while I watched. It still haunts me to this day. They died with their last words being 'I love you'.

I managed to escape, but I was never the same after that. I was forced to go back to go back to Robert. A year after that, I found out that he was in deep debt with various gangs and Mafias. It was because of two Mafias that me and my cousins were kidnapped. It was because Robert couldn't stop gambling, drinking and taking drugs that Kitty and Dan died. I was incredibly angry. I stabbed and killed Robert.

The police came and took me down to the station. They believed me about the abuse and I was put into the foster care. I got a nice family, but I was too broken beyond repair. I met your father when I was about seventeen and we married and had Elijah when I was around twenty-five.

But when I soon found out that the American Mafia were the ones who kidnapped me, Dan and Kitty. I wanted them to feel the pain I'd felt. Wanted to see them crumble. So I killed their family," Elise laughed humourlessly, "told you I was mentally unstable.

Around six years after you were born, I discovered that it was David's Mafia who had also kidnapped us- under the command of Richard West. I loved your father, so I couldn't kill him. But I couldn't live with him either. I divorced him and got you while he got Elijah, Daimen and Brandon.

I don't know exactly why I started hitting you. Maybe it was because you reminded me so much of my old life. Maybe I was feeling angry at the universe, who knows? You know what happened after that."

Elise looked sadly at me, "the one thing I will always regret is not being a proper mother to you. I'm so sorry, Iris. I don't deserve yours or anyone else's forgiveness."

I sat there, stunned into silence. Yes, what Elise did to me was wrong, but she was just someone who was angry at the world. I would never forgive for what she did to me, but I would start letting go of the hate I felt towards her. I don't want to bottle up negative feelings and have them explode and harm the ones I love.

"I won't forgive you," I said quietly, staring at my hands like they were the most interesting things in the world, "but I'm done with all of this. I'm tired of running away from everything and everyone. I don't hate you anymore, Elise. I don't necessarily like you, but I can't carry that hate around with me. We won't ever go back to having a mother-daughter relationship- there's just too much history there."

Elise nodded, "I understand. I can't live like this anymore either. Which is why, in about ten minutes, I will have a heart failure."

My head shot up and I saw she was deadly serious, "what?"

"I have taken an untraceable poison which will kill me. It will look like a heart failure and the American Mafia will be handed down to someone more worthy of it," Elise smiled sadly, "no child should see their mother die- even if that mother hasn't been the greatest. Go, Iris. I will be watching you from the fiery pits or Hell."

I chuckled in spite of myself, stood up and went to the door. I looked back at Elise one last time, "goodbye."

I left and didn't look back, finally closing the chapter on my old life.