"Gloria!"

"Gloria!"

"Gloria!"

I practically sprang out of bed as I was awoken yet again from the nightmare that liked to weasel itself into my dreams. The familiar sweat lined my forehead and mixed in with the tears dripping from the corners of my eyes. I sunk my teeth in to my lip to keep myself from letting out a whimper. All I could do was sit in bed, leaning forward slightly to look down at my shaking hands in my lap.

"What is wrong with me?" I murmured to myself. These dreams shouldn't be happening anymore. I've gone through too much counseling and have taken too many pills for this to be a problem.

Miles was crouched next to the bed. His eyes locked on to me as I sat there motionless. It only took him about 5 seconds to settle himself on to my bed. One of his legs were on either side of me with his back pressed against the wall. I subconsciously rested my own back on his abdomen and chest comfortably. Miles's hands had wound themselves around me to hug me from behind.

I was still upset about the earlier situation in our room, but at the moment, I needed him way more than I didn't. This was the second time that he had to wake me up from my nightmares. It was embarrassing to let him see that it wasn't a one time deal.

Tears were cascading down my cheeks in thin streams, pooling on to the collar of my tank top I had worn to bed. My hands were shaking in my lap as I tried to calm myself down. My breaths came out in short gasps. They were the only sound that filled the room.

Another nightmare caused by going to bed with too much on my mind.

We won the game by one run in the top of the 9th. Walker was sure as hell lucky we hadn't lost or else he would never hear the end of it from Coach. The game had given me major nerves though. Every time the ball was hit, I was scared out of my mind that I would make a mistake. The thoughts only continued when I got in to bed, including the angry thoughts about Miles. I didn't know why I had worked myself up so much for one freaking game. Nerves were usually not a huge concern when I played. Focusing in on what I needed to do was something I had never really had a problem with. Why was this happening now?

"Gloria, I'm right here." Miles's voice broke my trance, and I realized my fingers were tightly wrapped around his hand. I let out a shaking breath, trying to erase the image of Chris coming closer and closer. The eyes were the part that sent shivers down my spine. His unblinking black eyes that cut through you. They showed no mercy during the party. Not a hint of guilt or regret. Just sharp blank eyes that almost held a smirk in them by themselves.

Miles's other hand played with the ends of my hair. Every once in a while, tucking it behind my ear to keep away from my sticky, tear-stained face. I watched his fingers wrap around a piece of tangled red hair and gently unrolled it. Always gentle.

"Why are you doing this?" I blurted out. My voice shaking more than I wanted.

"Doing what?" he said softly. His hand did not move away from my fingers or the ends of my hair.

"How can you still be nice to me when I'm pretty much a bitch to you all the time?"

I hadn't really been fair to Miles at all. How many times he had tried to be nice to me, and then I turned around and snapped at him about something. I'm not sure how he even puts up with me. I can barely put up with myself. I annoy myself quite a bit with my pathetic behavior. I could only imagine how irritating I am to other people.

A light chuckle left his lips. His breath brushing over my shoulder.

"You're not a bitch... All the time."

I couldn't help but let out a soft laugh at that.

"I'm serious," I persisted.

"I know that you don't mean to be a bitch. You have a lot on your mind."

I smiled. I don't know how he did it, but Miles just got exactly what I'm thinking. I spun around in between Miles's legs to be facing him with my legs in criss cross applesauce. Both of my knees were on top of Miles's thighs.

He reached forward and wiped away a stray tear, trailing his fingers over my cheek. His calloused fingers left tingles over my skin. He had a certain effect on me all the time. Morning, afternoon, night. He left me acting stupid. No one, not even Chris, has made me feel this way when I'm in their presence.

"But you do bitch me out quite a bit," he said suddenly, after several seconds of silence.

I couldn't help but grin and giggle stupidly at him. The tears were subsiding, and the tightness that had wrapped itself around my throat was loosening.

My hand with its own mind, decided to find Miles's. My fingers wove between his before setting them in my lap. He didn't reject my hand, so we stayed with my hand in his.

"Do you want to tell me now?" he asked softly. His fingers wiped at the last few tears.

I didn't meet his eyes after he asked that. It was a painful subject, and I didn't know how he would react to it.

"Gloria, look at me, Princess," Miles murmured. His forefinger found its way to under my chin. He then softly pulled my face, so I was looking at him. "You can tell me anything. You know that, right?"

I nodded my head without thinking about it anymore. I couldn't imagine Miles telling all the other guys about Chris but did I really want Miles to know about something so terrible. He won't be able to look at me again.

The sting of tears began again in my eyes. I was still embarrassed to even talk about. I let it happen. It was my fault, and I could have stopped it. Very few people knew about what actually happened that night. Most of the school thought that we just had a huge fight and broke up. I could thank Ellie for spreading that rumor, so nobody got suspicious. Ellie was the first one to hear about it.

We had gone to the party together, and Chris drove us. My mom came to pick us up after I eventually escaped the room. Unlike many teenager girls, I told my mom everything, so I told her as soon as we got in the car. At first, she wanted to go back into the house and have Chris arrested, but I just wanted to get away from there as fast as possible. We never ended up pressing charges because I wanted to put the entire thing behind me and not be the center of attention. Enough people still pitied me after everyone found out my dad died. The rape would just add another layer of pity from other people and me.

The tears pricked out of the corners of eyes. They slid slowly down my cheeks, which Miles caught with his thumb before they made their way to my chin.

I didn't even know how to begin to start to tell him. I rubbed my eyes and suddenly grasped on to one of Miles's hands. I gripped my other hand to the back of his own that was currently laced in my hand.

"Gloria, it's okay," he whispered softly in to the dark. He hadn't turned on the light when he had woken me up this time, but I could still make out his strong jawline and the tufts of blonde hair sticking out in all different directions from his bed head.

I shook my head, and my lip couldn't help but quiver.

Was he going to be mad at me? We weren't even dating, so I had no idea why I was so worried about angering him. I was more in shame of what I let happen.

"H-h-he-," I managed to get out before a sob erupted from my lips. My hand that was gripping the top of Miles's hand flew to my mouth to stop the sound from coming again.

The tears flew down in heavy rivers. Miles could do nothing but hold my hand tightly and lightly hold his free hand to my cheek.

I was a wreck. After several moments of lots of tears and heavy breaths, I soothed my breathing down.

Licking my chapped lips, I tried again. "He..." I finally managed to say without stuttering.

"He what?" Miles asked. His voice changed to have a small edge to it. "Was it the guy from the other team? Gloria, I can report him to Coach right now and kick his ass."

"No, no. It has nothing to do with him."

Miles's body language relaxed slightly. I could see his piercing green eyes watching me intently.

"Who's he?" he asked calmer this time. His shoulders were still tense and his voice was strained.

"You don't know him," I answered softly.

We lapsed into silence yet again. My mind was racing at the very thought that I was actually going to tell another person about my most kept secret. My mom, Ellie, and the doctors at the hospitals knew what happened. A maximum of six or seven people.

The next few sentences came out like a stream. There wasn't a pause for a breath. Just rapid words flew out of my mouth, "Sophomore year, I dated a senior. At a party, he got me to have a few drinks, and he raped me."

Only silence followed. The quiet sat on me like an elephant on my chest. Not a word left his mouth. Did I need to explain myself more? Was he angry?

Several more minutes of quiet piled on to me. Suddenly, the whole story came tumbling out.

The party was at Chris's friend's house, which was absolutely huge. Over 300 people were crammed into the bottom floor of his house, and several had taken their party up to the many rooms of the house. Ellie had gone off to talk to some of the girls in our history class.

Chris seemed slightly agitated that night. He was on edge whenever he talked to me. Most of the time at parties we hung out playing cards with some of his buddies, but Chris didn't want anything to do with me that night. He played several rounds of pool with some guys I didn't know. He barely talked to me as he downed several cups of beer and shot glasses of some clear hard liquor. The only interaction he had with me in the first couple of hours was making sure my cup was always full. I sat in a chair that was in the corner of the room, afraid to get in the way. I could see the guys he was playing with gestured to me several times. Laughing, eye brow raises, or knowing smirks usually followed.

After every game, he checked to make sure I had downed some of the beer. Truthfully, I hated beer and the bitter taste, but Chris would only become more irritated with me when he saw I wasn't drinking. My not drinking equated to him thinking that I wasn't having any fun. Three hours later, Chris was more than buzzed, but I knew he held his alcohol better than most people. Being a smaller person than he was, I did not hold it as well.

I persisted that I wanted to go home, which he finally listened to. Before we left, he said he needed to grab something from upstairs, and he pulled me along with an iron tight grip. He proceeded to find the top most, out of the way room he could find before entering one. I stood in the doorway at first, but Chris insisted he couldn't find whatever he was looking for and needed my help finding it. Not thinking much of it, I stepped inside.

In short, the door was slammed behind me and locked. Chris pushed me around and grabbed on to my wrists to pin me where he wanted. He was too big and strong for my smaller frame body that was pulsing with alcohol. He raped me as I screamed the entire time for someone to help me.

After 20 minutes of horror, he finally let me go and left quickly. I laid in a heap on the bed, disgusted with myself. It took several minutes for me to come to my senses and get out of there. I found Ellie as fast as I could and we left with little hesitation.

A shortened version of that story came tumbling out of my mouth. When I finished with barely taking breaths between my sentences, he remained silent. Not a word left his lips as we sat there in the dark.

Panic started rising in my chest as I realized that he was mad at me. I let someone do that to me, and now it was affecting a relationship that I could possibly have with someone.

"A-a-are you mad at me?" I stammered out. "I'm sorry I let it happen. It's all my fault." My voice cracked several times as fresh tears formed. I was being a baby, but the water works from my eyes would not stop.

Miles's grip on my hand tightened and brought me scooting closer to him. He pulled me to his chest and hugged me tightly to him.

"I'm not even close to being mad at you, Princess," he whispered close to my ear. "Don't ever apologize for what that bastard did. It's nowhere near your fault. You hear me?"

I nodded my head, feeling slightly relieved he wasn't mad. I didn't want something in my past messing up my future.

"I will never hurt you like that," he mumbled into my hair, half to himself. "Never."

I hiccuped from all the tears, which was followed by a yawn.

"Let's get some sleep," Miles instructed. He laid down and stretched out next to me. My back pressed against his chest as his arms were locked around my stomach. I rubbed one of my thumbs over his knuckles to remind myself he was there and wasn't going anywhere.

My eyes were already shutting after a long night of nightmares and tears. The soft press of his lips to the back of my head sent a satisfying sigh through me.

"Good night," he murmured.

"Good night," I whispered back before shutting my eyes and falling into a dreamless sleep.

...

When morning finally rolled around, I did not want to get up and leave the sanctuary of warmth. Miles's arms were still wrapped around me, holding me to him tightly.

It was still a bit hard to wrap my mind fully around the fact that he knew everything about me. The overweight years, Dad, and now Chris. Three people knew about all three. Three.

Coming to this camp, there wasn't even a small whisper of an idea that I was going to end up telling anyone about my secrets. Let alone form bonds with anyone. Especially not my roommate. Funny how getting to know someone changes everything. And I mean everything.

"Stop thinking so hard," a low whisper murmured in my ear.

Miles's morning voice will never be less than absolutely skin tingling for me. It was probably one of the hottest things I have ever heard.

"I'm not," I replied softly. The butterflies in my stomach were currently at full force.

"I won't believe you until you relax a little."

"Me relax?"

"Yeah, you are as stiff as a board right now," he chuckled.

He was right. My shoulders were practically at my ears with how tense they were. His thumb traced shapes in my arm, which eventually loosened my tightened shoulders.

The lurking feeling of guilt rose in my chest again as I laid there next to him. He didn't need me in his life, but here I was lying in his arms. I was just extra weight that he was lugging around. Just as friends, but still someone in his life that didn't deserve him. He was so much better than me. I was some girl that ended up getting herself raped. I was good to nothing compared to him. A genuine girl deserves him much more than I do.

"I don't deserve you," I mumbled, pulling myself away from him.

"What are you talking about?" he questioned. His voice was concerned.

"You're so much better than I ever deserve."

"Why would you ever say something like that?" Miles said, pulling me to face him.

"Because it's true, and I don't want you to feel obligated to take care of me.

"I don't feel obligated to do anything. As someone who cares about you, I like being there for you."

As the conversation continued, my stubbornness only continued to get me mad for no reason. I had to be right though. I'm not good with not going with what I want. Miles trying to change my opinion was not working and only winded me up more.

"I don't need the pity. I brought this upon myself." I shuffled off the bed to stand across the room from him.

"I wish you would move out of the way of your own head. It wasn't your fault, Glors. Rape is not something brought upon by the victim."

"You weren't there," I snipped, knowing I was completely in the wrong for saying that.

Miles's face was becoming more and more angry as the bickering continued.

"I know you pretty damn well, and it was not your fault, so stop saying it is."

The draw of attention from him is not something I had wanted. I just wanted him to accept it and let me go before I hurt him in any way.

"Maybe, maybe not. You should stay away from me though," I warned, leaning back against the wall by the door. My arms were crossed over my chest.

"Why the fuck would I do that?" he snapped. His voice had more and more of an edge.

"I told you. I'm not good enough to be in your life."

Miles unfolded himself from bed to get up and start making his way towards me.

"I don't know why you always do this."

"Do what?" I quipped.

"Bring yourself down."

"I'm just telling the truth," I said, unfazed. I didn't purposely bring myself down. It was the truth. And only the truth.

"You don't see it," Miles yelled. He was pacing the room with long strides.

"Why are you getting so worked up by my problems? It's my fault."

"God damn it, Gloria!"

He suddenly switched where he was going and stomped my direction. I pushed myself off the wall to get away from him, but he only placed both his hands on either side of my head.

"Miles," I said harshly.

"No, listen to me. You're not some good for nothing slut or whore that made some guy take advantage of her that you make yourself out to be. You are an incredible person, who had someone in her life that didn't appreciate her enough and did something awful. I wouldn't lie to you. Ever. Do you understand? I'm not going to cut you out of my life because you don't think you're good enough for me. I'm pretty sure that I'm not good enough for you. Just by being my roommate, you have made this whole summer better. You have no idea how glad I am that I got stuck with your crazy ass."

My mouth parted to speak, but nothing came out. His words hit me like a brick. He really cared about me more than I ever thought. I was going to end up hurting him. I can't let myself hurt him though.

"You don't mean that," I whispered, looking away from his searing eyes.

His eyes flashed with hurt as I glanced back up at him. I hated seeing him like this, but I'd rather have him upset now, then later on. His hands left the wall and raked through his hair. The wheels in his head were currently turning as fast as they could.

"You make me so fucking crazy," he snapped before grabbing my chin and cheek in his hands. His lips crashed into mine not a second later.