《Sunrise ~ An Eremika Story》Chapter 10
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Sasha was still asleep by the time Mikasa woke up the next morning, and she didn't want to wake her.
She silently slipped on her shoes, and crept out of the cabin. She had made it a regular occurrence to see the sunrise each morning, and felt incomplete the days she didn't.
She waited on the roof, and realized it would be a few more minutes till sunrise. She didn't mind waiting though, the air was a pleasant temperature.
The sound of creaking caught her attention, and she assumed that the sound came from Sasha climbing up the post. But when she heard an all to familiar groan, she spun her head around to face Eren.
"No Sasha?" Eren asked, taking the spot next to Mikasa. Mikasa shook her head, "She was sleeping."
Eren nodded, and averted his gaze to the dimly lit wall ahead. "When does the sun rise?" he asked.
"Soon."
"Soon?"
"Why did you come up here if you're going to be impatient?" Mikasa asked.
He shrugged, "I dunno. I couldn't sleep anyway."
Mikasa tilted her head in curiosity, "Why not?" she asked. "I was up thinking." he responded plainly.
"About?"
"Stuff."
"What kind of stuff?"
"You sure ask a lot of questions." he muttered.
She furrowed her brow, "You were the one who brought it up."
"No, you were."
"No!" "Yes!"
They both remained silent for several seconds, realizing that fighting on a roof at six am wasn't exactly ideal.
"Do you actually like Jean?" Eren asked out of nowhere. Mikasa took a deep breath, she had just spent the entire night pondering the exact same question. "Yeah."
"Yeah? I don't buy it." Eren muttered.
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"I don't need you to it. You asked and I answered, what more do you want?" she asked.
"Why do you like him?"
"Why are we having this conversation?"
"You were the one who asked me what I was up all night thinking about."
Mikasa froze, this is what kept him awake?
"Well... He's nice. And we both want to live in the interior, and he would treat me well." Mikasa explained.
Eren scoffed, "It sounds like you just enjoy the idea of him. The idea of a comfortable life."
Mikasa usually would snap at him and tell him that he was wrong, but in this aspect, he was absolutely right. When Mikasa didn't answer, Eren realized that she agreed with him.
"So I'm not wrong?"
"I'm not saying your right."
"But I'm not wrong." Eren said, scooting a little closer to her. Now he was interested, and much more curious than before.
"God Eren-" "So you're not only lying to Jean, but you're lying to yourself?"
The comment hit Mikasa right in the gut, and now she couldn't find the words to say. She had fucking idea what she wanted. Eren watched her expression change, her eyes went from agitated to somber.
I overstepped.
"I'm sorry-" "Just don't tell the others, especially Jean, okay?" Mikasa practically pleaded.
"I won't." he said.
Who is Mikasa Ackerman really? It was a new question he would spend his time pondering over.
His thoughts were interrupted by the orange tinted glow rising behind the wall. His eyes widened as he watched the magical process, the gleaming ball of light peeking over. He glanced over at Mikasa, who wore the same amazed expression, even though she has watched this over a dozen times.
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"Do you ever wonder what the sunrise would look like past the wall?" Eren asked. Mikasa's eyes widened as she averted her gaze to meet Eren's.
"I wasn't the only one who thought that?" she asked, her voice close to a whisper.
You're not who you say you are, Mikasa.
He shook his head, "I haven't seen the sunrise in a while, so the thought just came to me. But you often wonder, don't you?" he asked.
She shrugged, "I mean sure, I do. But it's ridiculous to dream about such things-" "It's not ridiculous." Eren interrupted her.
"Mikasa, why do you want to be an MP?" he asked, silently praying it wasn't for a cowardly reason, even though he knew it wasn't.
Mikasa bit her bottom lip, should I really be revealing this much about myself to him? "My parents. I'm doing it to ensure my parents will be safe." she answered.
Eren nodded, slowly putting all the pieces together. "Alright... What about you? What do want to do?" he rephrased.
She was slowly growing more and more annoyed with his questions, mostly because she didn't have answers for them. She had asked herself the same question time and time again, and she never knew what to think. But when Eren asked her the same questions, an answer always came to mind. Maybe that's what frustrated her the most, Eren could find something in her that she couldn't.
"I dont know." she muttered.
"Don't worry about the consequences, pretend there were none. What's your dream Mikasa?" he asked, paying close attention to her expressions.
"I..." she began. "I want to watch the sunrise... past the wall."
"Past the wall..." he repeated quietly.
She snapped out of her day dreaming as she stood up, horrified by what she just revealed. She looked down at Eren, "Don't bring this conversation up. And don't try to give me advice, I don't need your help." she demanded, before storming off.
He felt disappointed. Disappointed by how much she doubted her own mind. How Mikasa is choosing the life she expects rather than the one she desires.
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