What if?

What if.

What if what? is the question.

A lot of things don't make sense.

A lot of things do make sense.

Most of the time things don't make sense.

And that's ok because that's just how it is.

Maybe you love someone.

Maybe you don't.

January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November and last but not least December.

1 Year, 12 Months, 365 days, 8760 hours and 31536000 seconds.

Everyone has a special day or holiday that they enjoy and can't wait for, some people love Christmas some love Halloween some love their birthday.

Yeah you like Halloween but after that's over what do you look forward to after? Christmas.

What about after Christmas? What do you look forward to after that? Maybe your birthday? Maybe basketball season.

The point is our life is a never ending cycle and yes you probably heard this before but still.

We keep looking towards the future for better right? You could be 16 and looking forward to turning 17 but when your turn 17 what do you do? You begin to get excited for 18 for what? So you can drink and go out.

But what happens when you're past 18? You have to get a job, you have to start looking for colleges or universities. Maybe you don't have to do anything maybe you already have a job or maybe you don't need one.

Maybe you want to take a gap year or just don't want to go to college.

Hey whatever floats your boat man.

It's funny cause we always look forward to the future, always looking for the next best thing. But what happens when the best thing has happened already?

What happens when there's nothing to look forward to anymore?

But oh well that's life I guess

The messy

The ugly

The pretty

But is it all really worth it?

The answer is yes. It's all worth it in the end.

But is it really worth the pain to get to the end?

——————

Do you ever wonder what would have happened if you never did that one thing?

You know like maybe never went to the school you're going to or maybe if you never texted that one boy or girl that one night.

What if mikasa's mom never died? What if Levi and Mikasa never moved?

What if Eren or Mikasa never blocked each other after she moved away? What if they still kept in touch?

What if mikasa's dad never left and her mom was still breathing? Would things change? Would everything be different?

How would everything change?

———Mikasa's pov———

in another life...

"Mom!" I yelled from upstairs while packing the final bits and pieces of my clothes

Hearing some shuffling from downstairs my mom yelled back "Mika!"

Grabbing my bracelets from my dresser I made my way to my doorway "do you know where my basketball jersey is?!"

"It's in the laundry!" A new voice yelled back "that thing stunk! You should wash it more brat!"

"Fuck off Levi I just had a game yesterday!"

Which in my defence I really did have a game just last night and guess what. We won no surprise there seeing how am the best on my team- not really but I like to think that I am.

"Mikasa!" A harsh voice yelled "language!"

"Sorry dad" I said while walking around upstairs and going into the laundry room where a short black haired man folded his clothes- my jersey

"Are you all packed?" Levi asked while handing me the warm freshly folded jersey "We have to meet the jeagers at 5"

Rolling my eyes I let out a sigh "why are we meeting them again? There's no point"

"We always go on vacation this year" Levi pointed out "what's the difference this year? What are you starting to like Eren" he teased while wiggling his eyebrows

Rolling my eyes yet again I grinned "me?" I pointed at myself "like Eren? Yeah sure" I said sarcastically "he's rude and childish"

"So are you"

"Am not"

"Are to"

"Yeah yeah" I waved a hand in dismissal "he's dating that girl" I trailed off "what's her name.... Hitch?"

"They broke up" Levi deadpanned "3 years ago..." he trailed off "Don't you and Eren go to the same college? Do you guys not talk to each other?"

"Very funny. Eren and I don't even get along put of school what makes you think we would get along in school?"

Shrugging Levi made his way around me and out of the laundry room "I'm just saying both of you guys could try and act civil this vacation, it won't kill you to actually have a conversation without trying to kill each other, plus we are going to the beach all of spring break so might as well have fun while you're there"

"I never start the fights and I'm just not going to talk to him, plus I think Armin is going to be there so I can just talk to him"

"Yeah yeah"

"Anyways i need to finish packing"

Nodding at me Levi shut the door of his bedroom while I shut mine. Eren and me? Get along? Yeah that sure is funny

————

"Ackerman" he nodded at me

"Jeager" I calmly replied while giving him a short curt nod

"You cut your hair" he pointed out while crossing his arms "you actually look decent now" he grinned

I nodded while biting the inside of my cheek "you grew out yours" I replied while scanning over his man bun "I can braid your hair if you want. You know I heard that girls like guys that look like girls"

Seriously how is he going to say that when his hair is longer than mine. Asshole.

"Fuck you" he sang while turning around and going to his mom, helping her with the bags

"Fuck you!" I called after him while turning around and walking back to my car

"So how did it go?" My mom said while smiling big "get along yet?"

"Sure did" I breathed out while grabbing my backpack

"I really did think that Eren hating you and you hating Eren would be a phase, you know like your emo phase"

"I wasn't emo" I mumbled

"Sure you weren't" my mom laughed while closing the trunk of the car "just try and be nice to Eren while we're here" she smiled softly at me while turning to the house

Walking up beside her I put an arm around her shoulder "I'm always nice, it's him who starts the fight"

————-

"Maybe you should shut up asshole"

"Fuck you!"

"Language!" Both of our parents yelled while glaring at Eren and I at the dinner table "Stop fighting like you are in grade three" Carla scolded

"He started it"

"She started it" we said at the same time while jabbing a thumb in the direction of the other

"They're five" My mom mumbled while rubbing her forehead

"Prick" I said under my breath while picking at my food with a fork

Eren side eyed me while eating a piece of bread "Asshole" he mumbled while grabbing his drink

"So Mikasa" Carla started while setting down her wine and looking at me "How's school?" She asked

I set down my fork and set my hand in my lap while looking at her "schools good"

"How are sports?" She asked causing a chuckle from Levi who was sitting beside my dad "what? What's so funny?" Carla asked while glaring at the shorter Ackerman

I glared at levi who opened his mouth to answer but shut it after glancing at me "Nothing" he said while shrugging his shoulders

"Anyways" I said while taking a sip of water "Sports are ok" I simply said with a small smile "I haven't played in a while though"

"Why not?" Eren perked up while looking at me with a raised eyebrow, his face genuinely curious

"Injury" I said while shrugging my shoulders "can't play for the rest of the season"

"Well I'm sorry to here that Mikasa" Eren's dad said while standing up and collecting his and his wife's plates

"Yeah" I mumbled while grabbing my plate and Eren's plate "so am I"

————-

"You don't play volleyball anymore?" Eren suddenly asked while sitting across from me at the table while I went on my laptop

I nodded while typing the last word for my essay, looking up from the laptop screen I raised an eyebrow "why?"

He shrugged his shoulders while looking around the empty house, everyone was either sleeping or getting ready for bed that's why I figured I would come down here to work on my essay

"Also it's 1am why are you up?" I said while shutting the screen and standing up slowly, I watched him while his eyes locked onto the couch then the tv, you could see dark circles under his eyes and the faint frown on his face, Eren shrugged his shoulders while also standing up and going to the fridge

"Couldn't sleep" liar he mumbled while taking out the milk "Why are you up?"

Because nightmares "because I'm not tired and I had an essay due tomorrow morning" I replied

"Ah always such a bad liar Ackerman" he grinned while taking out two cups and grabbing the cookies from the pantry "at least make what you say believable"

Rolling my eyes I slipped into one of the island chairs while Eren poured two glasses of milk from the other side "Funny you say that seeing how you lied about not being able to sleep" I said while returning his grin

Rolling his eyes Eren slid a cup full of milk towards me and set the cookies in the middles of us "Whatever" he grumbled like an old man "I guess we're both liars" he said while raising a glass

Clinking my glass with his I replied "Indeed we are"

————-

"No"

"Yes"

"No, I don't swim"

"Well now you do" he stated

I blinked at him, what? He can say that and I can magically swim?

"I cant swim dumb fuck" I groaned while throwing my towel onto the chair "I just washed my hair" I pointed out.

"Ok? And what's your point?" Eren glared while taking out two cups "I just washed mine" he pointed at his while setting down the two glasses and pouring orange juice in one and mango juice in the other.

Handing me the one with mango juice I eyes him carefully "are you going to drown me or something?"

"Definitely" he grinned while walking out of the kitchen and out the back door that went straight to the backyard and private beach.

————-

"You dumb fuck" I deadpanned while rubbing my forehead

See you might wonder why I said that to the man bun but if you were in my position then you would have the same reaction.

"It's not my fault"

"You forgot to check how much gas was left and now we are stranded in the middle of the lake" I said calmly "OF COURSE ITS YOUR FAULT!"

"Yeah yeah" he waved a hand in dismissal "We aren't even far off from the beach" he said while pointing towards the white sand and houses lined up.

"I'm gonna die here" I grimaced while sitting down at the front of the boat "kidding obviously but it's fucking hot"

"Well here's an idea genius" Eren sat down at the captain seat while grinning "go-" he waved a hand to the side of him "-In the water"

"Well" I exasperated "I didn't think of that" I said with a shocked face "let me just jump into the lake knowing for a fact I can't fucking swim" I glared at him

"Look chill out someone will notice I'm gone-"

"Notice that there's peace" I grumbled cutting him off

"And" he glared "come looking for us, I can't use the transmitter cause it's broken or some shit" He dipped his hand into the water and splashed water onto me "done even sweat it, were going to be saved soon"

————

I paced around the boat "So when you said soon" I paused in front of him "how soon do you mean?" I crossed my arms while raising an eyebrow at him

"Mikasa" he groaned "we are fine"

There was a sound coming from the side of us, the sound of a jet ski "look!" I said while a blonde head appeared in the distance making their way towards us

"Armin!" We both yelled while waving our arms around like crazy "Help!"

He came closer then stopped at the side of the boat "hey guys" he smiled at us "what's poppin"

"Eren got us stuck here"

"Can you get her off the boat she's causing me a headache" Eren said while leaning back in his chair and putting an arm on top of the one next to him "she's been complaining the whole time"

"Shut up, no I haven't" I scolded while glaring at him.

"On second though my dog meowed" armin said while pointing back to the house.

"You don't have a dog-"

"And my fish is drowning so let me just-" he backed away from the boat causing me and eren to go to the edge of it and closer to armin

"Armin get back here" Eren said with a glare

"I cant I just gotta-"

And he was gone.

Leaving us here

"When I come back I want to see you guys happy and friendly!" He yelled

I'll kill him.

———-

"Ha!" I yelled while throwing my arms up "I win you lose" I stuck out my tongue at Eren while he scrunched up his eyebrows- looking confused

"How did you win again?" He breathed out while throwing his cards in the middle of us while I adjusted my legs because they are getting sore for sitting for so long.

Since I'm amazing, I won every game of gold fish we've played- it's called gold fish right?

"Cause you suck"

"Ur mom"

Did he just? "Jokes on you she hates me" I deadpanned causing his grin to dissolve

"Oh- I'm so sorry-"

"I'm kidding" I said with a grin while getting up "so you want to go for a swim?" I asked while taking off the Jean shorts I had on, I didn't need to take off my shirt because well I didn't have one on just my bikini top.

"I thought you didn't know how to swim" he raised an eyebrow while getting up and taking off his white shirt

Rolling my eyes I dipped my hand in the water "I was on a swim team" I said with a laugh "and you were on said swim team jackass"

We were on the same swim team for two years, I don't get how he didn't realize that I was lying about not being able to swim.

"Oh my ba-" he got cut off.

By me pushing him into the water "sorry couldn't hear you" I smiled sweetly while he swam to the top, a frown on his face

"Asshole" he said while taking out his ponytail and redoing it "hurry up and get in before it becomes dark"

"The sun is already setting" I said while backing up "watch out" I said while he swam to the side, running fast I dived off the boat and into the cold as fuck water. Holy shit why is it so cold

Staying under the water for longer I swam deeper until I just stayed in one place, swimming always calmed me it's the fact that my hair is floating all around me and the feeling of tiny air bubbles going past my face every time I breath out that makes me feel at peace, I can't hear anything just the slightest movements of my legs and arms so I keep in place.

After about a minute of staying underwater I felt something or someone tug at my arm making me swimming upwards.

"Mikasa?" Eren said frantically while scanning over my face, putting both hand on top of my head he moved it in all sorts of directions "what the fuck" he breathed out while wiping wet hair out of my face.

"What?" I blinked at him

"You scared the shit out of me I thought you drowned, you didn't come back up"

Oh. "Oh I'm sorry" I said because I honestly felt bad

"Don't do that again Mika" he said while letting go of my face but one hand slid down to my chin, his thumb under it and index on it he pinched it- not that it would hurt my like a show of affection.

"Mika?" I said- a bit dazed

"Do you like the nickname? I think it suits you" he smiled warmly at me

"I love it" I returned the smile

———- For full experience play; I guess I'm in love- Clinton Kane—-

"Next time you do that asshole I'll kill you" Eren said while walking onto the sand "same with Mikasa. We'll kill you both"

"You're actually rude fam" I said while taking Eren's hand to help me down from the dock "what if we died?" I said dramatically

"You didn't" armin said while a grin

"But we did"

"What...?"

"Anyways" Eren said while sitting down on the beach chair "I'm going to tan"

Armin and I looked at him then to each other then up at the sky "uh" I started "the sun is setting, the sky is orange" armin finished

"Run along now" Eren said while putting his arms behind his head causing his arm muscles to flex a little "the sun is strong"

"Uh" armin was backing up "ok- bye"

Instead of following Armin I sat beside Eren looking out at the lake, everything was quiet the sky was orange with pink but was slowly turning purple.

"Thanks for today" I said quietly " I've hadn't been this carefree in a long time"

Eren moved his head towards me so he could look at me "Anytime Mika"

I smiled at him while turning back to the lake "Friends?" I asked, still not looking at him

"Friends" he said- genuinely happy "but"

"But what?" I said while turning my head to look at him

"You might not want to be friends either me after this"

He said while standing yo causing me to raise an eyebrow

"What are yo-" I got cut off by him picking me up and slinging me over his shoulder "Eren! I swear to god let me go!" I screamed and kicked, I raised my hand and slapped his ass causing him to yelp

"You're going to wish you didn't do that" he laughed while running towards the lake causing me to kick and scream louder

"Let me go!" I yelled but it came out as a laugh

"As you wish darling" he said while dropping me in the water, he ran deep enough that I didn't hit my head on sand underneath the water.

Springing up I coughed out the water that went into my lungs, I hunched over and coughed like a mad man.

"Yo Im sorry did you-"

I tackled him.

Into the water

Bringing him under the water he wrapped his arms around my waist, we swam up to the top and both took a deep inhale of breath.

His arms were still wrapped around my waist while my arms were wrapped around his neck "I win" I smiled while bring my hand up and moving a piece of his hair to the side

He shrugged his shoulders "I'll win next time" he breathed out with smiling and looking into my eyes then to my lips.

Peering into his green eyes my smile slowly faded, his eyes shined with want and I bet if I looked in a mirror my eyes would show the same story.

We leaned in closer