-

H.

We were back in Manchester in what felt like an instant, and I immediately felt a sense of dread settle in the pit of my stomach as we descended onto the catwalk. The idea of what I was here for; tomorrow would be my mum's wedding. Tomorrow, I would watch my mum marry somebody she felt she was meant to be with, and maybe she was. Maybe Ben was for her what Ana was for me - that muse, that peak, that everything and all things. And if Ben loved her even a fraction of how much I loved Ana - then it was enough. That was an overwhelming amount of love, and though nobody would ever be deserving of my mum, he would be close enough.

I glanced over at Ana and Liam, the two of them lost in conversation as people started to get up from their seats, and I lifted my hand from Ana's leg. She turned to look at me, shooting me a weak smile which I attempted to return. Despite our never-ceasing intimacy, there was still the underlying tension due to the fact she was hiding something from me.

We stepped off the plane and collected the luggage, Liam forcing me to carry his, unsurprisingly.

"You're a grown man, why can't you carry your own bloody bag?" I huffed at him, annoyed that I now wouldn't be able to carry Ana's bag for her, since it was virtually impossible to lug all three suitcases.

"It's fine, H, give me mine," Ana shot me another smile and outstretched her hand to take her bag. I knew Ana didn't mind, since she was always insisting she carried her own bags anyway, but I liked doing it for her.

I looked at her for a moment, before sighing and handing her back her bag and gripping Liam's tightly in my spare hand as well as my own in the other, making sure I shot Liam a glare for whining about his bag first.

The cab ride was silent, mostly because Liam fell asleep within a few minutes of getting in the car, and I'd suddenly found myself unsure of what to say to Ana.

Her face was turned slightly away from me, eyes watching the surroundings outside of the cab as we passed them. Her face was bare and free from makeup, her hair tied back in a messy bun on top of her head, my hoodie enveloping her body. This was my favourite way to see her - without effort, and without worrying about her appearance. But I could see the slight off look in her eyes, making it pretty obvious something was wrong. She was still keeping something from me, and I was still pretending I didn't know it. In fact, I was still trying to move on from it - I knew I wouldn't be getting anything out of her, and I knew I shouldn't pester her. If anything were bothering her that was that big, she would tell me. If it was a big deal, and it could potentially affect me or her, or anybody close to her - she'd have confided in me. So really, there was no reason for it to keep eating away at me.

"Hey," I whispered across to her, despite the fact that Liam was knocked out in the front seat and the driver was definitely paying no mind to us. Ana looked over at me, as I added, "C'mere."

She undid her seatbelt, shuffling over to the middle seat, and turning sideways, placing her legs in my lap. I rested my hand over her knee, drawing circles on her leg with my thumb as she watched me skeptically.

"Are you okay?" she asked me, resting her hand on my shoulder and bringing it to the nape of my neck.

"I'm-" I took a sharp intake, reminding myself not to keep bugging out about something that didn't matter. I knew I could ask her, and she wouldn't get angry at me for it - but I didn't want to be that boyfriend. And surely pushing wouldn't make me the best one. I wasn't sure - I'd never found myself in this position before now. I couldn't bring myself to be angry and pester her. "Yeah," I answered her instead, "just a bit nervous about tomorrow, I think.. are you okay?" I added.

"Mm," she hummed, leaning forward to press a reassuring kiss to my jawline, "S'funny a month ago I'd never left the US, but now I'm in the UK for the second time," she pointed out, and I smiled.

"Is that a bad thing?" I teased, pushing all negative thoughts out of my mind as I drummed my fingertips against her knee.

"Totally, I'm sick of being stuck with you," she quipped, sticking her tongue out at me as I playfully widened my eyes.

"Oh, Ana," I grinned, pressing kisses to her mouth as she giggled repeatedly, "but you're stuck with me forever and ever and ever," I kissed her knee briefly, a wide grin tugging on my lips.

"Sounds awfully tragic," she laughed, and I pinched her chin between my forefinger and thumb.

"Not for me, 'cause I get to kiss this pretty face every single day," I sent her another grin as brushed my lips over hers before bringing her mouth properly to my own, not hesitating to slip my tongue into her mouth, her lips parting responsively as she was virtually on my lap now.

Ana pulled away, her lips barely brushing over mine as a smile pulled at her lips, everything immediately healed and forgotten with the simple connection felt through our kiss.

I hadn't even realised we'd pulled up to the flat until Ana nudged me, and leant forward to wake Liam. Liam paid the cab driver, and we got out - I took Ana's bag this time, despite her protests, and forced Liam to take his own as we made our way up the grimy steps to the flat.

I hated this bloody apartment so much, but it would do. I only needed it for a while longer, and then Liam would give our notice and we'd- well, that I didn't know. I didn't know where I wanted to go - after college, that was. I would stay in Seattle - go to college with Ana and Liam, and maybe get a place there. Get a flat, maybe - work a job on the side and then when I finished college get a job full time to get a place for Ana and I to live. For Ana and I to move on and get married, have a few ratty kids and to be happy. That was what I wanted.

I watched Ana carefully from the kitchen table as she put the kettle on, chewing on her lip in concentration as she dropped the teabags into the mugs, a few strands hanging from her bun falling into her face as she pushed them back in frustration. She glanced up at me, noticing my stare and cracking a smile, finishing up the cups of tea and padding over to me.

"So," I started the conversation as she set my mug down on the table and clutched hers tightly in her hands, while I tugged her onto my lap so that she was sitting sideways and she could loop an arm around the back of my neck, "I'm gonna go to see Mum after this - you're coming, yeah?"

Ana's eyes dropped to her lap, "Um - I don't think so. I'm pretty tired from the flight."

"What?" I frowned, my worries from earlier resurfacing, "but you love my mum - you always want to come and see her.."

"Of course I do, but - um, does she know you're coming tonight?" she asked suddenly, and I now narrowed my eyes completely.

"What are you talking about?" I asked her now, my wariness becoming more prominent.

"Nothing, H - maybe she's out, or she's busy or something," she tried to brush it off, setting her mug down on the table and looking up at me, but she'd already said something off and she couldn't take it back.

"Do you know something I don't?" I pressed, and she winced.

"No, Harry - drop it," she stood up from my lap, "I was just saying, she might not know you're coming right now-"

I stood up, "Ana, what are you not telling me?"

"Nothing, Harry, oh my God," she groaned, walking away from me to stand on the other side of the kitchen, "Will you just drop it?"

I furrowed my eyebrows, only growing more suspicious, "Well according to you there's nothing to drop."

"You're right, there isn't," she snapped, "leave it."

"No, why should I? You're keeping something from me, it's pretty obvious," I spat in return, as she rolled her eyes, leaning forward onto the counter.

"So what if I am?" she huffed, lifting her head from the counter, "I can't keep anything to myself? We're supposed to share everything?"

"Yes! We are, Ana, because that's who we are. We don't do secrets, we don't lie, and we don't keep each other in the dark," I told her, and I couldn't deny how angry I was getting now. "You're lying to me." And that broke my heart. The fact Ana felt like there was something she couldn't tell me, something clearly eating away at her - she wouldn't tell me.

"I'm not, Harry, oh my God!" she raised her voice now, and I raised my eyebrows - she'd never yelled at me before. "You keep everything to yourself, why can't I have something?"

"That's not true," I pressed my lips into a fine line, "don't you dare turn this on me."

She stayed silent, and I spoke again, "You're freaking out on me, and you're getting defensive. I know something's wrong, and I don't want to fucking fight with you, Ana. Stop lying to me, and please just tell me what's going on."

"Fuck off, Harry," she huffed, storming out of the kitchen without another word and into the bathroom, slamming the door shut.

"Fucking hell," I cursed, slamming my hand down onto the table. And now I was certain she was hiding something big, and now it would eat away at me even further. She'd blown up when I confronted her, and she was really, truly hiding something - and it was to do with my mum.

I poured the mugs of tea down the sink, chewing on my lip as I shoved the chair back into the table.

There was a secret the love of my life was keeping from me, and I wasn't sure how to move past it.