《Just Steve》F O R T Y - O N E

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There are lots of inconvenient times to find yourself attached to an unmovable object. You imagined that kid in elementary school would have loved to detach himself from metal the street lamp he had touched his tongue to in the middle of winter. You would also have bet your life savings that Prometheus would have jumped at the chance to separate himself from that rock Zeus had tied him too. Previously, you might have judged them for the various stupidity or poor choices that had landed them in their respective situations. But as you sat there, trapped in the hospital bed by the IV and various other wires attached to your arm, chaos ensuing around you, these people started to become your heroes.

The tubes ran up from you forearm, connecting to a monitor and a bag of some unknown clear liquid. You figured it was just water but it no longer made much difference to you what substance was being injected into your body. What really mattered was that your best friend had your boyfriend pinned against the wall. What mattered was that your best friend looked like he was going to tear your boyfriend apart and that you were currently too tied up to get in the middle of them, not to mention still in a considerable amount of pain. While Steve had been showing considerable restraint, a feat he had most likely accomplished for your benefit, you could see him visibly losing his patience and knew that at any moment if Peter kept pushing him he would begin to fight back more violently.

The two were shouting at each other, each sentenced punctuated by another shove from Peter and a defensive glare from Steve. Neither of them were paying you any attention as you struggled to intervene, unable to get up from the bed. With every second that passed, the beeping sound of the heart rate monitor continued to escalate as you stared both horrified at and exasperated by the sight in front of you.

"Oh don't even try to deny it, I found the copy of the updated contract in Tony's office with your name on it!"

"Guys-"

"Lay off Peter! I already told you I didn't ask for a new contract!" Steve forced Peter off of him.

"No you're the one that needs to lay off!" Peter shoved him back sending Steve's head ramming into the wall.

You began to call out loudly for what felt like the hundredth time, staring wide-eyed at the Steve sized indent in the wall behind him. Only, both of them continued to pretend you didn't exist, a fact that was becoming increasingly annoying given it was you that they were fighting about in the first place.

"Can you both just calm d-"

"After all of the shit you've pulled with her I can't believe that we're back to this! All of this time and you're still trying to break her fucking heart!"

"Peter please-"

"You want to talk about breaking her heart?" Steve huffed out angrily, glaring furiously at your best friend. "Take a look in the mirror, Peter and you'll know exactly whose to blame for that."

Oh no. This was not good. This was very, very not good.

"She's been a mess for the past month while you've been out there, doing God knows what, completely ignoring your supposed best friend." Steve continued to argue. "I already broke her heart once and I meant it when I swore I'd never do that again. You were the one that didn't seem to care about that at all, not me."

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Even from your sidewise view of the two you could see the flash in Peter's eyes.

"Steve, that's not-"

"Turn this around on me, all you want. It's not my name on this fucking contract." Peter slams the papers into Steve's chest, the once tidy papers nothing but a crumpled mess. Some are crushed in Steve's hand, others lay scattered on the hospital floor. "I kept your secret last time, God knows why. I'm not making that mistake again."

Giving up on any hope of getting their attention in any other way, you hissed slightly as you gripped the needle taped to your arm and pulled it away. You got up from the hospital bed, being in the state that you were in it wasn't easy. Pain rolled through you with every movement, the stinging and aching reaching every part of your body. You ignored it anyway, standing up from the bed, both of the men too focused on screaming at the other to notice that you were no longer laying down.

In the back of your mind you could still hear the beeping of your monitor. Only then you realized it wasn't in your mind at all, the machine was still sounding off, the noise interrupting every other word shouted from one man to the other. Looking down you saw another wire running under the collar of your shirt, taping what you assumed to be some sort of sensor above your heart. You ripped it off, the beeping coming to a screeching halt. The sudden absence of the noise seemed to finally gain Steve's attention, his head peering around Peter's to look at you.

"(Y/n)-" He said, his eyes widening in confusion. Then there was some sort of clarity there, as if he had finally remembered that you were there too and had witnessed everything Peter and that nurse had just revealed to the room. The confusion slowly morphed, turning into something that resembled something more like fear.

"Sweetheart please, you shouldn't be out of bed."

You ignored him, walking as fast as you could towards the pair as Peter began to shout again. If your were being honest, you knew standing right now wasn't a great idea. You were still recovering, your body in so much pain that you couldn't even register Peter or Steve's words as you made your way to them. You swayed precariously on the spot. It wasn't until Peter's hand gently wrapped around your wrist that you began to hear what he was saying.

"Don't be a dumb ass, go lay back down."

"Peter-"

"Don't talk to her like that!" Steve yelled back, his voice towering over yours.

It could have been any number of things that made you lose your patience then. It could have been the fact that you had tried to step in between this argument multiple times before being steamrolled by the both of them. It could have been the fact that their focus on blaming one or the other in the game of "who hurt (Y/n) the most" had forced you up and out of your hospital bed, in nothing less than the flimsy gown they had forced you to put on. Whatever it was, your fuse had blown out.

"For God's sake will you let me talk!" You shouted as loud as your voice would let you. "The contract was my idea! Steve didn't have the papers drawn up, I did!"

"Of course you- what?" Peter spluttered. The screaming between the two had finally ended, both staring at you in a mixture of shock and confusion.

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"Can you give Steve and I a minute alone, Peter?" You directed your attention towards your best friend, who was looking like he was about to argue with you.

"Please?"

He sighed but agreed to your request, squeezing your shoulder on his way out and leaving you and Steve alone in the hospital room. His eyes were glossed over, staring dejectedly at the papers in his hands. And oh god, if you didn't know exactly what he was feeling in that moment. You knew It must be pretty damn close to what you had felt when your positions had been reversed and the existence of the contract had been sprung on you instead of him.

"It's not what you think." You began quickly, not wanting his thoughts to run away too far before you had the chance to reign them in and explain yourself.

"Did you think there was some chance our baby wasn't mine?" He said, eyebrows furrowing as he stared at the contract, the glossiness in his eyes beginning to fade and harden.

"No, that's not why I asked for the-"

"So this is some sort of payback?" He asked, his voice was tense and his eyes cold as he looked up from the papers in his hands to meet your gaze. "I made a contract without you knowing so now you made one without me?"

You thought given the pain already numbing your entire body as you stood there across from him would have prevented you from feeling anything else, but you were were wrong, to weak to swipe away the pang of hurt from his words. You tried to push past that feeling, to ignore the fact that he thought that was something you were capable of doing.

"I'd never do that to you." You said quietly, shifting your eyes to the floor. All you had on your feet were socks that were now bunched up at your ankles as you complied to the hospital's no shoes on the bed policy. It didn't help with your confidence in this moment which was already dwindling thanks to the hospital gown and the icy expression on Steve's face.

When you finally gained the courage to look up at him again the coldness in his eyes had melted slightly.

"Explain."

It was only one word, but it was enough. You had meant it when you said that you would never do that to him. It was most likely these words that had began to dissipate the angered and confused thoughts you knew must be running through his mind, because while it was true that you would never do that to him, he had done that to you. Deep down Steve had to know you wouldn't do that to him, he was just trying to make sense of the way the facts had been presented to him. You didn't blame him at all for it, still remembering exactly what it had felt like when Sharon had set those papers in front of you. You couldn't blame him for that at all, in fact you thought you loved him even more just because of it, because while you had let your fear and past experiences drive you away, Steve was still standing here.

"I'm sorry you found out about the contract this way. Believe me when I say I was working on a much better way to tell you about it." You began, Steve watching you with a neutral expression on his face.

"When I first found out about the contract you made I was so upset, so hurt by the fact that you had kept it a secret that I couldn't even process why having one might be a good idea." You swallowed harshly, gulping at the painful memory. "But when we came back to New York, when we moved in together... my head was finally clear enough to think it through."

Steve crossed his arms tightly across his chest but you just kept going, trying to put the words together.

"You barely knew anything about me when I told you I was pregnant. Even now, I can barely remember anything about that night we met other than the betrayal I felt when I walked into that bar. But when I look back on it now, I would go through that betrayal five thousand times over if it meant that I got to meet you, which is crazy in and of itself when I can barely even remember meeting you in the first place."

You were full on rambling now. You knew you were but you couldn't stop yourself, the words coming out in a tumbled mess, like an out of controller-skier gaining speed as the slide down the slope.

"I still can hardly believe it. When I think about that day I walked into the tower and I told you I was pregnant, you didn't even question me, no proof, no reasoning... you just believed me." You continued, seeing Steve's still neutral face doing nothing to calm your nerves. "You've shown me you cared about me, that you loved me in more ways than I thought humanely possible. And you just keep doing all these things for me, believing in me, moving out of the tower to live with me, coming to find me in Boston... In almost everything you've ever done, you've showed me how much you love me. It wasn't until we moved in together and things started settling down that I realized I've never reciprocated that, I've never shown you how much I love you in the ways you've shown me."

A wave of guilt that had been brewing in you for the past month rolled over you, nearly demolishing your spirit. Your words didn't feel like enough. How could they ever be enough? It didn't feel like there were words in the dictionary to describe what you felt for Steve and what he meant to you. There was no combination of phrases that could possibly express your love for him because it was as intangible as those words themselves. You wish it was something physical, that you could point to it and say "look there, can't you see it? That's how much I love you." But you couldn't, and your words would never do it justice. The crushing guilt, had left a damaged and weaker soul in its place, made even more susceptible to the panic you were beginning to feel, especially when seeing the expression on Steve's face.

"I met with Tony, not even a week after we moved in and had his lawyers draw up another contract. It doesn't say anything about money, nothing between us has ever been about money but it does say we will share custody. I was going to give it to you after the results came back, proving you were the father." You said hesitantly, a tone of defeat in your voice. "I was going to come to you with this big Steve gesture, so that you'd never have any doubt, that no matter what happens between us you'd know that precious baby girl isn't just ours but yours, really yours. I know how much being a father means to you and I- I thought that might- that it would..."

You trailed off as you continued looking into his eyes. You had hoped that by now you might see something else, some other emotion there, but he just kept his expression the same, completely unreadable.

"Damn it, this wasn't how this was supposed to go, I'm explaining this all wrong."

You turned away, facing the wall behind you, your head falling into your hands in frustration. This was wrong, it was all wrong. You had to fix this, you had to explain it better in a way he would understand. Only when you turned back to face Steve he wasn't there.

Well, he was there but he was no longer in the same position. Where moments ago he had been standing, Steve was now bent down on one knee, a deep blue velvet box clutched tightly in his hand.

"What-What are you doing?"

"(Y/n)-"

"Ohhh my god." You words were nothing but air as they were breathed from your mouth, wispy, awestruck, and completely disbelieving.

"Sweetheart-" Steve said firmly, trying and once again failing to ground you in this moment.

"But- but it's... it's... we- we don't-" You spluttered.

"For God's sake will you let me talk?" He interrupted, his lips turning into a smile as he repeated your own words back to you.

Your mouth snapped shut in response to this, only your eyes still couldn't believe what was happening. Were you dreaming? Was any of this even real? It all seemed so entirely not plausible and yet there he was, kneeling in front of you. All you could do is stand there in shock trying to process the image before you. You glanced at your feet, then back at him, wondering if the next time you looked he would have disappeared, but he didn't. He was still staring at you, grinning. You looked down again, intending to look back up one more time to be sure, only your socks caught your eye. You didn't even have shoes on, you didn't even have real clothes on. Your head snapped back up to his.

"You're really doing this? You're doing this now?" You grabbed a handful of the edge of the hospital gown waving it at him in exasperation. This turned out to not be the wisest idea because the movement was still a shock to the soreness of your body. Steve's grin faded slightly as he saw you wince.

"Sweetheart will you please-"

"No." You caught him off quickly. "I'm not sitting for this, no way in hell."

He gave you a look, clearly annoyed by your stubbornness. You stared determinately back at him, and he seemed to cave by the firmness of your gaze.

"Fine." He relented before adding. "You only have yourself to blame when you get the abridged version."

He used his right hand to open the box in his hand and you tried to focus your gaze on the blur of sparkles now in front of you, your eyes widening even though you knew what was happening.

"I've thought a lot about what I've wanted to say to you in this moment." Steve began and your eyes snapped from the ring in front of you to meet his. "There are so many things I could say, I've written them all down, trying out different speeches and planning out elaborate surprise proposals when really it's all so much more simple than that."

Your breath catches in your throat as you listen, trying in vain to stop the water from brimming in your eyes. It's hard to describe what it looks like when someone is looking at a person they truly love. It's often said that everyone else fades into the distance. It's often said that they are looking at you like you are the only in person in their world and that's all they see, you and the world. You thought that was close, but it wasn't quite right, because Steve wasn't looking at you like you were the only person in the world, Steve was looking at you like you were his world.

"I could tell you that I fall in love with you a little more every time you do something as simple talk to me. I could tell you that I think you're the most compassionate and patient person to ever grace me with a smile. I could tell you that you don't just make me want to be a better man, you make me a better man."

Your heart falters as Steve spoke, clenching around his words as if it could hold onto them with two hands and stash them away somewhere safe, forever. It's not often that someone speaks to you and you know you're going to remember the words until that day you die, and you were going to take that advantage of that now and soak up every minute of it.

"All I really need you to know is that I love you and if you'll have me, I want to spend the rest of my life, loving you."

Your heart continued its relentless pounding. It was somehow now even quicker than before and you were sure that if you had still been attached to that beeping monitor that the pace would broken the machine entirely.

"You've given my life meaning, not as a hero, or as Captain America but just as me, as just Steve. You didn't exactly walk into my life, it was more like I pulled up a barstool and invaded yours. Only it was you that turned my world upside-down. It was you that lit up my life and gave me everything I was so sure I would never be able to have."

Your vision goes blurry as your the tears begin to gloss your eyes over. Blinking rapidly you force them down, holding them below the surface as long as you could. And all the while he looks so calm. How could he possibly look so calm?

"Sweetheart?" He clears his throat before adding your name, saying it with a tone of finality and anticipation. You stare back at him, for once knowing exactly what his next four words will be.

"Will you marry me?"

You may have known what he was going to say, but that fact didn't change the way those four words affected you. It's one thing to know they are coming, it's a whole other thing to hear them out loud, for them to be spoken into existence.

One day you would probably look back, you would feel that you should have given your answer to that question more thought. Not because you thought you would come to regret your answer but because agreeing to spend your life with someone seemed like a decision that deserved more thought than you actually gave it. Then again, giving your answer any amount of thought at all would have counted as giving the matter more thought than you initially had. No sooner than the question left his mouth, did the tears finally spill over, rolling down your cheeks as you nodded your head emphatically.

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