Eighteen days.

Eighteen long mornings and eighteen even longer and lonelier nights had passed since Steve had last seen (Y/n)'s face or heard her voice. In that time, Steve had managed to drive himself completely crazy. He had always been terrible at letting things go and (Y/n) was no exception. Not knowing where she was or if she was safe... he was constantly on edge, unable to rest.

The majority of his days he spent doing whatever he could to find (Y/n). He had sent what felt like hundreds of texts and tried to call her over and over again. Even though he knew (Y/n) didn't have her phone, some small part of him hoped that if (Y/n) had any way of receiving or listening to the messages that she might hear them and come home. It was a long shot, but he had to try everything he could and follow any possible lead that might bring her back to him. Well, every possible lead but one...

He hadn't spent much time with any of the team other than to explain to Nat what had happened. To his surprise, Nat was doing very little to help Steve search for (Y/n), growing quiet and reserved whenever the topic came up. Peter had been trying to find her as well, but whatever attempts he had made to contact her had been just as unsuccessful as his own. Steve had noticed that even though the boy was doing his best to hold it together, he was struggling. He hadn't spent a night at the tower since (Y/n) had left and was only seen by most when reporting on whatever missions he was involved in. He was slowly becoming more reckless, taking unnecessary risks during his patrols and skipping out on his summer classes. Peter was going down a dark hole that Steve worried even (Y/n) might not be able to pull him out of if she ever came home. But that's what happens when someone important leaves you. You feel like half of you is missing while the rest is lost, desperately trying to compensate for that one missing piece.

Between Peter and himself, they had searched almost the entire city. His hunch was that (Y/n) had long since disappeared from the city all together but he had no idea where else she would have gone. He had nothing. No leads on what city she had chosen to hide from him in, or guesses as to whether she was camping out in one place or travelling all over. The truth was he couldn't understand how she had so successfully managed to stay off his radar all together. He had used almost every tool at his disposal but it was no use. Her credit cards hadn't been touched, her face wasn't on any street cameras... It was as if she had completely disappeared from existence. She had become a ghost and it was infuriating.

The only path he had not gone down was asking Tony for help. The fact was that Tony had means of finding people that Steve had never been able to understand. Tech had never really been Steve's thing, but it was Tony's life. If there was anyone that could track her down it would be him. But Steve hadn't spoken to him since the day (Y/n) had left and from what he had heard Peter hadn't really either. Nat had tried to get Steve to talk to him but her efforts were futile. There was still too much anger there.

The more Steve had thought about it the angrier he had become. This whole thing would never have happened if Tony hadn't been so stubborn about the contract. Steve had never needed it or wanted it, he had just gone along with it because it was easier to let Tony do what he wanted than to try and stand in his way. In the end, Tony always got his way. That was how their team had always worked, Tony's way or the highway... except (Y/n) wasn't part of the team. Steve should never have let Tony have his way in a matter in which he had never belonged in the first place. Now Steve was paying the price for the billionaire's paranoia. He knew that wasn't the whole story, but it was much easier to blame the problem on Tony's fears than to acknowledge that it was his own fears that had played the biggest part in (Y/n)'s departure and disappearance.

When he wasn't trying to find (Y/n) he spent most of his time avoiding everyone else by training like he was now. He thought that keeping busy and active would be the only way to keep the illusive girl from his thoughts. He had thought wrong. Through every punch, every time his angry and broken fist met the punching bag, images and memories of (Y/n) flooded his haunted mind.

Punch. Punch.

"Well alright, just Steve."

Punch. Punch.

"Steve, I'm pregnant."

Punch. Punch.

"Every single person in that room could think I'm a liar and I wouldn't care... Every single person but you."

Punch. Punch. Punch.

On the last punch the bag flew across the room, hitting the farthest wall with a crash as Steve bent over slightly, struggling to catch his breath.

"Now what did that wall ever do to you?"

The door to the gym opened and Tony walked through casually making his way across the floor until he stood only a few feet from Steve. The sound of a wall cracking slightly could be heard making them both turn to look at where Steve had just thrown the punching bag. A tiny web of cracks had grown out from the main dent in the wall he had made before coming to a halt.

"Well that's just sad. Apologize to the wall," Tony deadpanned.

Steve ignored him, heading back to the other side of the gym. He knew what was about to happen and frankly he didn't want any of it. What was the point of listening to an apology he wouldn't be able to accept?

"All right then," Tony said sarcastically as he followed Steve to the other end of the gym. "What's it going to take for you to forgive me? A bigger room? A new bike? Moving HQ to Alaska so you can see more of that ice you love so much?"

"If this is your idea of an apology you're doing a bang up job," Steve replied harshly. He started peeling the tape of his knuckles which were now bloody and bruised but he didn't care. He wasn't sure if those bruises would ever go away now, they had become a part of him.

Tony sighed, shoving his hands in his pockets. "I am sorry, Rogers. I shouldn't have gotten involved in your business... but I was just trying to look out for you."

"And now because of that, the person that I care most about is god knows where, refusing to speak to me," Steve spat out, throwing the tape in the trash and meeting Tony's eyes with a hard glare. "Do you know what it was like having to go over to her mother's apartment and beg for her to tell me where (Y/n) is? What it's like not knowing if she's safe?"

Tony crossed his arms defensively but stayed quiet while Steve's voice continued to get louder and angrier, a change for the two of them. Normally Tony had all the anger and Steve was there to calm him down. Now the situation had reversed and neither of them knew how to handle it.

"If you had looked into her family at all before convincing yourself she was after my money you would have realized that her family is loaded. That she would never need any of my money. Not to mention the fact that she refuses to take a single penny from anyone!" he declared, almost yelling now.

"Give me a break!" Tony defended. "I told you to tell her about the contract ages ago, you were the one that kept it a secret from her!"

"Because I was terrified of losing her!" Steve shouted back. "My whole life I've been dreaming of finding a girl like her! All I ever wanted was a family but this job always gets in the way. This was my one chance at happiness and you've ruined it for me!"

The pair stared at each other for a moment, frozen in place until Steve looked away. He grabbed his water bottle, taking a drink before putting it in his bag and zipping it shut. As much as he wanted to blame Tony for what happened deep down he knew that they both had played a part in (Y/n) leaving. Tony may have made the situation worse by insisting on the creation of the contract but it was Steve who had kept it a secret from her. It was just easier to be mad at Tony for overstepping then to think about the outcome of his own mistakes.

"Look Rogers, I get it," Tony said seriously. "You're mad at me and maybe I deserve it but what's done is done. Staying mad at me isn't going to fix anything but giving me a chance to make it up to you might."

Steve exhaled sharply, slinging his bag over his shoulder defeatedly. It was only after finally releasing all the tension from the past eighteen days by yelling at Tony did he realize he was right. There was no point staying mad at him when he might be the only one who could fix the problem. It was time to get over whatever resentment he held over the whole disaster of the contract and focus on what was most important, finding (Y/n). It had been eighteen days too long, and eighteen days too many since he had last seen her and he was growing desperate.

"You think you can find her?" Steve asked, his voice much quieter now.

"I think I'll have a shot. I don't know how she's been able to stay hidden for so long, but I've got a few tricks up my sleeve," he said shrugging slightly. "She's been going to great lengths to disappear, but she won't be able to keep that up forever. When she slips up I'll know, and you'll be ready."

Steve hated agreeing to this. He knew how much (Y/n) valued her privacy, and she was clearly working very hard to avoid seeing him. It felt so incredibly wrong that this was what he had to resort to in order to see his girlfriend. If he could even still call her that...

Steve always did the right the thing. The logical thing. Having Tony track (Y/n) down felt like the complete opposite. But the thing about love is that it always blinds you, blurring the lines between right and wrong. Nothing ever feels completely wrong if you're doing it for the person who means more to you than anything. Maybe it was the selfish thing to do, but for once in his life he decided it was okay to be selfish. If it meant he would get his girl back he would do anything. She needed him and he needed her. He was done playing nice. He was done holding off the one person who would be able to find her. She had her time away from him to process, but now it was time to heal, and that was something they had to do together. No more running, it was time to settle this and bring her home.

"Okay," Steve nodded, firmly. "Then find her."

"Excellent," Tony said, a gleam in his eye that could only be sparked by an engineer ready to attack his next problem. "I've got some tracking algorithms that might work. If those don't get us a location I have a few other ideas."

"I don't care how," Steve turned, beginning to walk out of the gym while muttering just loudly enough for Tony to hear. "Just find her."