You never really realize how dependent you are on something until it's taken away from you. This can apply to any number of things, like losing a friend, or a car breaking down. In your case, it was caffeine.

Over the course of your four years at college you had become unknowingly reliant on the substance and it was turning out to be a habit that was hard to shake. Not wanting to risk your baby in any way, you had cut yourself off from caffeine completely. It was a process that had resulted in not only crazy migraines, but also the unfortunate habit of falling asleep at the wrong times.

"(Y/n)? Honey, are you alright?"

You jolted upwards feeling someone grabbing your arm. It took a few seconds for you to remember where you were, and then you squinted up at the person who had spoken.

"Oh hey Mom, yea I'm fine, I must have just dozed off there for a second," I said, getting up to give her a hug.

"Are you sure? You know you really shouldn't be falling asleep in public spaces, " your Mom chided, looking at you appraisingly, straightening the post hug wrinkles out of her jacket.

You were sitting on a bench outside a restaurant in Brooklyn, near your mom's apartment. Finally deciding to face the music, you had agreed to meet her for lunch, prepared to come clean about everything. You realized you must have fallen asleep waiting for your mom to arrive, in part due to the fact that you had stayed up late looking at baby cribs online with Steve and made worse by the lack of caffeine.

"Yes I'm sure, I was just up late working on an assignment," you lied, hoping to avoid another one of her lectures.

"Well that's not good sweetie, you should really have a better sleep schedule. Maybe if you started your assignments earlier, you could be more on top of things."

Well maybe if YOU were more on top of things you wouldn't be 20 minutes late to our lunch reservations, mother dearest. You bit your tongue, and just nodded back at her, not wanting to pick a fight.

Earlier this morning, Steve, Peter and a few of the others had left for some sort of mission or something, you weren't really sure what the correct term was for their line of work. All you knew was that they were gone somewhere and weren't coming back until late tomorrow night leaving you in the apartment by yourself. You had thought meeting up with your mom would be a good way to kill some of the time, but you were already beginning to regret that decision.

After you walked in the restaurant and the waiter showed you to your table, your nerves started to kick in a little bit. You weren't really sure how she was going to take the news of your pregnancy, but you had pushed it off as long as you could now. Your elbows rested on the table, hands fiddling with each other anxiously.

"Don't do that honey," your Mom said, motioning towards your hands, "it's unbecoming."

Laying your hand in your lap, you reached for the glass of water on your right, taking a long sip.

"So, how's everything with you?" you asked, sitting up straighter and placing your glass back on the table.

"Oh, you know how it is. Just living the luxury life of divorcee. Oh that reminds me, I was at the club with Marcee Donovan the other day, and she told me your father is seeing some twenty-eight year old bimbo out in L.A.. And then I was at pilates with Nancy Oberman and she said that Rachel Weinstein gained fifteen pounds since we last saw her. Can you believe it?"

When she finished, she grabbed the cloth napkin from the table, laying it on her lap, then started to look over the menu. If your mother truly loved anything, it was gossip. You hated it but there was not much you could do. You already knew about the girl your dad was seeing, he had posted pictures with her on Facebook and everything. And unsurprisingly, you didn't know or care about one of your mom's random friends gaining weight.

"No, that's crazy," you said, trying to hide the sarcasm in your voice.

"What's been going on with you? I've been trying to get in touch with you for weeks now, is everything okay at school since James broke up with you?"

Well that was a punch to the gut. Your mom really did have a way with words.

"I broke up with him mom, not the other way around," you noted, but she just kept staring at the menu, pursing her lips slightly so you continued. "School is fine, we had midterms a few weeks ago so I've been busy. Now I just have finals at the end of the semester and then I graduate."

She nodded absentmindedly, waving down your waiter who had been passing by. After asking if either of you wanted anything to drink your mom quickly ordered two glasses of red wine. Shit. You and your mom always ordered red wine when you dined together, so you knew turning the drink down would cause suspicion, but what choice did you have?

"I'm just going to stick to water actually, thanks though," you smiled, and the waiter went off to get your mom's drink.

"I don't think I've ever seen you turn down a glass of wine," she pointed out, finally putting down her menu to look at you with suspicion.

Wanting to get the truth out there before your mom started drinking, you took a deep breath, preparing yourself. Time to rip off the band-aid.

"Actually, there's something you should know. It's really hard for me to tell you this, so please just let me get it all out first and then you can say whatever you need to say. Okay?"

Your mom nodded hesitantly so you dove in. You told her about everything. Meeting Steve the night after breaking up with James, the baby, moving into Stark Tower, and how you were now dating Steve Rogers aka Captain America aka your baby daddy. By the time you were done your mom looked like she was about to pass out. To be fair, it was a lot of news to take in on what your mom had thought was just a regular lunch date. You sat there silently for a moment, your mom staring at you wide eyed.

"So..." I said, not being able to take the awkward silence between us any longer. "Are you okay? I know that was a lot to spring on you all at once. I was just so nervous about telling you, I didn't want you to be upset."

"Upset?" she said, her cheeks going red.

"Upset!?? Of course I'm upset? How could you do this (Y/N)? How could you be so.. so.. irresponsible?"

You tried not to let her words hurt you. After growing up with her, you liked to think that you had grown some kind of protective barrier against the things she would say about you. Sure, getting pregnant the way you had may not have been the most responsible thing you could have done but all things considered you thought you were handling things pretty well. You were taking accountability for your actions, getting everything ready for the baby while finishing up your classes and were on great terms with a man you knew was going to make the most excellent father. You had hoped she might give you credit for any one of those things, and offer some kind of support but you were sorely mistaken.

"I understand that it comes as a bit of a shock, but there are worse things that could happen to a person. I'm still going to graduate before the baby comes so it's not like I'm dropping out of school, and now I'm going to have a baby and yes I'm a little scared but I'm also so excited to watch him or her grow into the most amazing human. You're going to be a grandma, and just wait until you meet Steve, he's loving and compassionate and is going to be the best father that anyone could ever dream of for their child."

When you finished you looked into her eyes hoping to see them soften but they stayed cold and harsh.

"Oh please. You obviously haven't thought this through, or you would have realized what an incredible mistake you're making," she hissed, fingers drumming on the table between you.

"What do you mean? What mistake?" I asked cautiously.

"Steve Rogers? Seriously (Y/N)? What the hell are you thinking? Do you honestly think he is going to have the time to raise a child? He's a superhero for christ's sake, you're going to be doing this all on your own!!" she said, her voice becoming louder, as you were starting to attract the attention of the other people in the restaurant.

"That's not true. Ever since he found out I was pregnant he's been so attentive. He's so excited to be a father and you sitting there and judging him when you don't know him isn't right. Steve and I are in this together," you hissed firmly, uncomfortable by all the glances you were both getting.

It didn't feel right, listening to her say bad things about Steve when he had done nothing to deserve them.

"Together huh? So where is he now? Here you are telling me you're pregnant, that's a pretty big thing for you. Seems like something the father of the baby and your boyfriend should be there for, no?" she chuckled, smugly, using her fingers to make air quotes around the word boyfriend.

"He's working," you replied shortly, not wanting to play these games with her.

So what if Steve had to work, everyone had things they needed to do and couldn't be available twenty-four seven. You glared at your mom, and you were surprised to see her eye's soften slightly. She reached a hand over the table to grab yours.

"I'm sorry honey, I didn't mean to overreact, it's just that you're still my baby girl and I don't want you getting hurt. I'll support you no matter what you decide, I just want you to make sure you've thought this through. I'm sure Steve is a nice enough guy, but him wanting to be a father doesn't mean he will make a great one. And think about what you're signing up for. Look at the amount of pressure he must be under with his job, and all of the stress that it's going to cause you. He's always going to have more important things to be doing, or be putting himself in dangerous situations, and what happens if he brings the danger to you, or your child?"

She pulled your hand closer to her, leaning over the table to look directly in your eyes, a concerned and serious look on her face.

"When you think about it, he hasn't been in your life for very long. How well do you really know him? You seem to be jumping into things awfully fast, with a man who you haven't even introduced to your family. I've seen what happens when someone breaks your trust, sweetie, and I don't want it to happen to you again, especially with a baby involved. How can you with all your trust issues, sit there and tell me you believe him when he says he'll be there for you when he can't even promise to come home from work uninjured and unharmed. I'm not telling you what to do, all I'm saying is make sure who you think he is, is actually who he is or else you'll end up like me and your father."

You sat there speechless for a while, taking in everything your mom had said. Somehow she always knew exactly what to say to get you in your own head. It was infuriating but true. You didn't agree with everything she said, in fact you disagreed with the majority of it on principle. But that didn't stop the small seeds of doubt she had planted in your brain from starting to grow.

It had only been three weeks since Steve had asked you to be his girlfriend, but you had known him for two months prior to that as well. You felt certain of the fact that he was going to make an incredible father. But did your mom have a point? Steve's job is incredibly demanding and stressful, while he himself is incredibly selfless which makes a dangerous pairing. If the world was in danger, he would be the first one standing in line to defend it, and you would never ask him to go against that instinct. Not when the fate of the world literally rested on his soldiers. But what had you inherently signed yourself up for?

Could you stay at home with a baby every day, constantly wondering if its father was going to come home from work? Could you trust him when he said he would always be there for you, when his job would always make that impossible? Even now Steve was on some mission, god knows where, and you had no idea if he was okay or safe? Oh my god. What if he wasn't okay? What if he was hurt? Or even worse? You felt anxiety and fear bubble up in your stomach at the thought of something happening to him.

This feeling followed you all the way home from lunch back to the bed of your apartment where you stayed for the rest of that day and the next. You knew you should do something. You should have done anything other than sit there and worry about Steve, or repeat your mom's words over and over again in your head. But you couldn't stop. You felt trapped in a never ending cycle of fear and confusion, that led to more fear and confusion. It was a state that only a woman as talented as your mom could have driven you into.

You were still so out of it that you didn't even notice the sound of the quinjet landing on the roof, or of loud voices in the living room. Even when your bedroom door burst open, you stayed there, motionless, fazing out whatever the voice was yelling, terrified of whatever news the person would bring.

"(Y/N)?"

A familiar, smiling, brown-haired boy crouched in front of you.

"(Y/N)? You alright?"

His smile faltered, his eyes growing more and more concerned. He shook your arm and you were relieved to see your best friend, but couldn't snap out of the sleep-deprived trance you were in. You stared back at him, shaking your head back and forth slightly.

"Steve!!" Peter yelled, and you heard two people talking fast and quiet, then a door closing.

Shortly after, Steve's head appeared where Peter's had been moments ago. You instantly felt the tightening in your chest lighten significantly, seeing him healthy and alive in his suit in front of you.

"(Y/N)?" he said quietly, brushing your hair out of you face comfortingly.

"You don't have to tell me what's wrong, I just want to make sure you're okay."

He obviously knew you weren't okay. It didn't look like you had cried or were crying but your puffy eyes made him suspect you hadn't gotten any sleep and he was at a loss for what had happened. When he had left you everything seemed fine. Standing up from his crouched position, he went to crawl into your bed, hoping that maybe if he could just hold you, you would relax. Before he got the chance, you had moved like lightning out of your spot on the bed, jumping up into his arms. He stumbled back slightly surprised by the sudden movement, but hugged his arms around you tightly as you wrapped your legs around his waist and curled your head into his neck.

"I was so worried about you," you admitted, your voice muffled as he hugged you tighter.

"You don't have to worry about me sweetheart, I'm right here, okay?"

He carried you over to the bed where he gently laid you down. Bending down, he kissed your forehead, your nose, and then your lips, softly and slowly. He laid down next to you pulling you into his arms. It was hard to imagine a place where you would feel safer or happier. Here in his arms it felt like your mom's words didn't matter, and you felt disappointed in yourself for having let them bother you so much in the first place.

"I'm sorry about all this. I just... I saw my mom yesterday, and I told her about everything that happened. She was so upset, and she just... she knows how to get in my head and she got me all freaked out," you explained.

"What exactly did she say?" Steve asked, cautiously.

"She's worried your job is going to get in the way of being a father and that I would never be able to fully trust you if every time you left for work I wasn't sure that you'd make it home," you said quietly, fiddling with the sleeve of his suit.

Steve wasn't sure how to respond to this. He had worked so hard to build a relationship with a foundation of trust, and he was scared about what kind of influence the conversation with your mom would have on you. All he knew was that the past three weeks with you had been the happiest of his chaotic and unusual life.

"I'm sorry your mom wasn't more supportive. I don't want you to be on bad terms with her just because of me, but I also don't want you to think what she said is true. Yes my job is important to me, but so are you and so is our baby. "

"I know that Steve, I'm so lucky that my baby is going to have someone as wonderful as you as a father. I guess I just hadn't thought about how your job might affect us."

Seeing that he was about to say something you put your hand on his chest to stop him, wanting to make sure he understood what you meant.

"I would never want or ask you to stop doing what you do, it's just that when my mom said all these things it made me fully realize for the first time how dangerous your job is. When you left for the mission I didn't have a doubt in my mind that you would be back in a couple days like you said, but then I realized I couldn't know that for sure. And I'll never know that for sure because of who you are. I love how selfless you are, but the reality of your job is... it was a lot to process for the first time. I was so worried you might not come home, and I needed you to come home, which scared me even more because I promised myself after James I wouldn't need anyone. Not ever."

When you finished, you looked up at him anxiously, a little worried about how he might respond to your words.

"I know my job can be dangerous, but there aren't many other people that can do it. All of my family was gone by the time I enlisted, so I've never really had to think about other people worrying about me because of the things I do, so I'm sorry that I didn't talk to you about this sooner. But I don't want you to worry about me, I promise I know what I'm doing and I have a whole team watching out for my back. I won't be able to leave and do my job if I know that it does this to you," Steve sighed, pulling you closer into his chest.

"I'll always worry about you Steve," you said, absentmindedly tracing the star in the center of his uniform. "I'm sorry, I know I must seem like a mess right now. My mom she just... well it's not important." Shit. Why are words so hard sometimes? Stupid baby hormones causing all sorts of stupid emotions.

"What I'm trying to say is I promise this won't happen every time you leave. I can't promise I won't be a little scared, but I trust you know what you're doing. I just like having you around. I don't want to lose you," you finished, laying it all on the line.

This whole conversation was a huge step for you, and some small part of you couldn't help but be embarrassed. Admitting how much you cared about him had never been in your plans, but then again dating him hadn't been either. Part of you wondered if there would be a point in your life where you would ever feel a hundred percent comfortable being fully vulnerable with someone else. That wasn't a question you had the answer to, but you knew if there was anyone who could make you take that leap, it was Steve. After all, it was his patience and persistence that had gotten you to the place where you are now, which was already leaps and bounds from where you had been after James. Even if some part of you was still worried that you might get hurt in the end, your growing feelings for the man in your bed had you questioning and confused about everything.