"One day you'll have whatever it is you're now so confusedly seeking. That kind of calm that comes from knowing oneself and others. But you can't rush the arrival of that state of mind. There are things you only learn when no one teaches them. That's how it is with life. There's even more beauty in discovering it for yourself, in spite of the suffering."

— Clarice Lispector

Hermione's eyes fluttered open, the afternoon sun placing warm kisses on her bare spine. Her body was sore, her limbs languid and muscles heavy with exhaustion but she felt pleasantly light. She tilted her face upwards, still keeping her cheek pressed on Draco's chest, and observed him. He was still asleep, his face relaxed, pale lashes heavy over his lids, lips parted slightly and a light flush tainting his cheekbones. She adjusted her body against his and he unconsciously tightened his arm around her.

"How are you feeling?" His voice startled her, his eyes remaining shut.

"Sore. But good," she whispered, still feeling the intimacy of the aftermath deep in her bones. Lightly, she trailed her fingertips over the thick ridge of his silver sectumsempra scar on his chest. He shivered under her touch. Looking up, she stilled at the intensity of his eyes. "And you?"

His eyes were unwavering as he pulled her upwards and pressed her forehead to his. "I enjoyed it," he murmured, "I – I didn't know it could be like that."

Hermione smiled softly, grazing her lips against his. Her heart swelled with emotion. Eternity existed in this very moment, in the warmth of his body solid and real beneath hers, in the gentle caress of his fingers trailing her spine.

"I didn't know it could be like that either." Hermione didn't miss the hint of surprise in his eyes when she pulled back. "It was... intense."

He kissed her quietly, the press of his mouth on hers insistent before lingering as if remembering he had all the time in the world to taste her. He brushed his nose against hers.

"I wanted to make sure you enjoyed it," he whispered, a soft vulnerability in his eyes. Intimate.

"And trust me," she breathed, "I did."

She kissed him this time and when they broke, they took a moment to watch their hands entwined together. Hermione was lulled by the steady beat of his heart under her ear.

"I could stay here forever," she hummed.

"Don't we have a couple of reports to send to Kingsley and Moody?"

Frowning, she huffed. "It can wait." She looked up at him, a severe look on her face. "You're not going anywhere right now, Draco Malfoy."

She tightly wrapped her body around him, refusing to let him move. She just needed a moment longer. Or two.

He gave her a dimpled smile making him look carefree and young. Tongue in his cheek, he grinned.

She felt ridiculous, like she could just laugh. She felt like her chest had cracked open and she could breathe. The intensity almost scared her. She meant what she said that she didn't know it could be like this.

She kissed him again, savoring the feeling of his smile against her lips.

***

"Hmm...?"

Draco rolled his eyes, leaning against the library doorway as he watched a certain bushy-haired witch in her natural habitat. He could tell that she was close to a dead end by the extra frizziness of her hair that she had been likely picking at (and was almost breaking free of her bun), the ink smeared on her nose, and brows pinched in frustration.

"I said Watson has information for you in the kitchen," Draco repeated.

Hermione straightened up, blinking at him owlishly, a silent oh leaving her lips. Quickly, she marked her reading position before sticking her quill in her hair.

"What happened to him?" Draco nodded at the sleeping boy on a tiny identical study table next to Hermione's. "Are those... glasses?"

Hermione grinned fondly. "Today he was in one of his copycat moods. He wanted to pretend he was also working on research so I transfigured a tiny table for him. Oh and I transfigured the tiny glasses he requested because he wanted to look 'just like daddy.' He was pleased."

Hermione brushed her fingers over Scorpius' sleeping face and vanished the empty cup of coco. Gently, she conjured a damp towel and wiped his chocolate mustache. "You said Watson was in the kitchen?"

"Hold on," Draco chuckled, grabbing her wrist before she made it past him out the door, taking the towel from her. She looked at him curiously when he turned the towel over and, with full concentration, dabbed her nose. When he was done, he showed her the black ink stain left on the cloth. "Looks like Scorpius wasn't the only one who made a mess," he chided.

Hermione blushed and his grin widened when she tried to maintain an imperious look on her face.

Stepping back, he pulled Scorpius in his arms. The boy groaned before blinking his eyes open blearily. "Hi, Scorp."

"Hi, daddy," he yawned, frowning at being disrupted from his sleep. He perked up however when Draco whispered something in his ear.

"Well," Hermione said slowly, trying to decipher the secret smile shared between them, "let's not keep Watson waiting."

Without waiting for him, she turned. Draco shook his head, following the witch to the kitchen.

***

"Happy Birthday!"

Hermione startled at the sight of Watson, Luna, and the Slytherins in the kitchen.

"— Mini birday, Mini birday — " Scorpius sang once he was let down and did a little dance as he made his way to Hermione. Hermione felt tears brimming in her eyes. She scooped Scorpius up and squeezed him. She grinned over his shoulder at Blaise who raised a glass and winked at her. Pansy smirked, Theo and Luna waved their wands, shooting streamers while Watson concentrated on hovering a cake with a single candle on it.

"How — Draco did you organize this?" Hermione turned to Draco, who watched with his arms crossed as he leaned against the doorway.

"Should've seen him, Granger," Blaise's eyes twinkled with amusement. "He tried commanding us here without an explanation, all vague and reticent."

Pansy snickered. "Took ages to get it out of him that it was your birthday and he wanted us to surprise you."

"I thought it was sweet," Luna chimed in.

Draco scowled at the lot of them, which quickly turned into a stunned expression when Hermione caught him off guard with a kiss on the cheek and a whispered thank you. She had not expected this.

Blaise gave them a curious look and Pansy beamed triumphantly.

"Cake! Cake!" Scorpius yelled, bouncing in her arms.

"Did you make this, Watson?" Hermione asked, making her way to the table where Watson placed the cake. As she got closer, she noticed the delicate design of rose flowers and in the middle four stick figures made of icing — two large ones and two small ones, wide smiley faces on the three and a frown on one of the smaller figures. Hermione laughed at the curly mess of chocolate frosting on one of them she assumed was supposed to depict hair.

"Indeed, Watson did the baking," the elf grunted, "and young Malfoy did the drawings in the middle."

"You like Mini? Das Mini, me, Daddy, and Watsy!" Scorpius pointed proudly with his little finger. Draco and the others peered to look at the cake. The Zabinis laughed behind their hands.

"I love it, Scorpius." Hermione squeezed him again. She hadn't expected this. That morning, she had woken up, vaguely noting her birthday but got to work immediately. She hadn't even known Draco knew. But Draco surprised her. Again.

"I've been practicing the special muggle rendition of the birthday song," Theo said excitedly while Draco lit the candle with a snap of his fingers. Theo began to clear his throat, eliciting looks of horror from Pansy and Blaise. Draco paled.

"Oh, I believe I've heard that version before," Luna replied. "Daddy loved singing the tune to bowtruckles. Lulled them right to sleep."

"Well, Granger, just for you."

Hermione looked curiously at the Slytherin as he inhaled deeply.

Before Hermione could speak, Theo opened his mouth. Draco cursed under his breath, Scorpius covered his ears, and Pansy and Blaise groaned as Theo started to sing — if it could be called such. Watson stared in shock at the oblivious Theo while Luna simply hummed and swayed to his voice.

Hermione shuddered when Theo tried to sustain the last Happy Birthday note. He sounded like a dying whale.

"Err thank you, Theo," Hermione said, breaking the stiff silence after Theo's voice died along with her eardrums. "I suppose I'll blow the cake now," Hermione smiled, watching the solitary flame flickering boldly.

Hermione felt a familiar presence brush up against her side, causing a warm calm through her. She twisted her head slightly, catching a flash of blond hair. Lips brushed against her ear. "Make a wish, Granger." Hermione shivered, his breath ghosting the shell of her ear.

Hermione leaned forward, Scorpius still in her arms. "Give me a little help, Scorp?"

Scorpius grinned back then looked determinedly back at the candle as if it was a foe.

"Blow in three," Pansy clasped her hands together, a softness in her face Hermione hadn't seen on her before. "Three... two..."

Hermione shut her eyes, emotions swimming within her along with a kind of peace that had eluded her for so long. She felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude in that moment, despite being in the middle of the war with people she did not expect. For friends, love... and family found in the unlikeliest of places.

Please. Let me have this. Let me have this.

"... one."

Together, she and Scorpius blew the candle out, but the light remained burning inside of her.

***

"Yes, Pansy?" Hermione said in an amused voice as she turned her attention to the witch perched on the couch beside her. Pansy looked at her expectantly, pristine hands steepled together.

Pansy cocked her head, smiling wildly despite her squinted eyes. It was terrifying.

The witch scooted closer to her. "Now, now, Granger," Pansy said with deceptive politeness as she reached over and patted Scorpius on the head while he played at their feet with a paper plane. Scorpius glanced at Pansy curiously before continuing to make plane noises. He showed an interest in the muggle invention when one zoomed over their heads a few days prior.

As Pansy started one of her tirades, Hermione distracted herself by observing Draco, Theo, and Blaise in conversation across the room. Sensing her gaze, Draco's eyes flickered to her. Theo cracked a joke she could not hear and Blaise tilted his head back in laughter but Draco's eyes remained on her. He raised an amused brow at her silent plea for him to save her from Pansy.

"Granger!" Pansy growled, snapping her green polished nails in her face.

"Hmm... ?" Hermione blinked and turned back to the witch. Pansy pouted at her.

"I said, who said I love you first? You or Draco?"

Hermione bristled. "We – I — "

Pansy arched a sleek brow. "Really, Granger," she drawled, examining her nails, "don't think we weren't victims to yours and Draco's painfully pining eyes and angsty yearning looks for months."

Hermione blushed.

"Fine," Hermione answered in a clipped voice. A smug smile plastered over Pansy's face. When Hermione didn't continue, she glared.

Hermione sighed in defeat.

"Well I sort of overheard him talking to Theo and it slipped out... then I wanted to confess the words to him so he wouldn't feel any doubts about how I feel about him but he got to it first again and thought I needed more time... but I didn't."

"And?"

"Ouch! No need to pinch!" Hermione scowled, rubbing her arm. "I said it back. I don't know — this whole thing just crept onto us. He — he's my best friend. He's worked so hard to do better. We were both scared in the beginning but when we started being open and honest, when he told me about his past, about Astoria — "

"He told you about Astoria?" Pansy squeaked, pure shock in her face.

"He did," Hermione confirmed, smiling sadly at the memory of the young girl who was also a victim of the war, who never got a chance to live and make her own choices.

Pansy swallowed. "He never told us about her but we knew some things. Blaise told me about what he did with the potion, how he tried to help her," she whispered. "But I know the months after Scorpius' birth were hard — being a single father and Astoria dying. Then Narcissa."

"He's a good man," Hermione replied, "even if he refuses to believe it."

"He is," Pansy hummed. "And now you've turned him into a simpering Gryffindor," she chuckled.

"Pansy!" Hermione chided, lightly slapping her shoulder but still cracking a smile.

"Well," Pansy responded, her lips twitching, "you're quite the Slytherin too, Granger. Not that I'm complaining. But all teasing aside," she suddenly looked serious, shifting uncomfortably. "I'm really happy for you both."

Hermione's eyes softened and she returned her quiet smile. With all their history, Hermione would never have thought that she would find a friend in Pansy Parkinson. Despite their differences, they both held a quiet respect for each other. Whatever this was — this friendship — it was different from what she had had before. She never had a close female friend in Hogwarts. Ginny had been the closest, but their relationship had been in some ways forced due to her closeness with Harry and Ron. Pansy understood her in many ways and she was much softer than the hard exterior she created for herself. In her green eyes, Hermione saw a fierce loyalty and protectiveness that mirrored her own. Before Hermione could respond, the couch dipped beside her, an arm slipping around her shoulders.

"Pans, your husband needs you for something." Draco pulled Hermione closer.

"Well, Draco," Pansy said tightly, "I'm not my husband's bitch so if he needs something he can do it himself."

"I didn't say I needed you to do something for me," Blaise scowled, coming over. "I just needed you because I was simply missing you, darling."

Pansy pursed her lips but titled her cheek and accepted his kiss on her cheek. Blaise chuckled.

"There's a slice of cake left. What do you say about sharing it and leaving these lovebirds alone," Blaise said, shooting her a winning smile.

"I'd have to think about it. Granger here was telling me all about muggle fashion. Personally, I'm still not over how these muggle shorts just shape her legs and arse." Pansy grinned back in challenge at Draco's glare. "I heard there was a thing called mini skirts?"

Hermione flushed when everyone's gaze drifted to her bare legs and she crossed them. Draco stiffened before draping his arm across her thighs. Hermione's cheeks reddened further as the Zabinis snickered at Draco's dark look.

"You funny!" Scorpius yelled, releasing a fit of giggles from where he sat on Theo's lap. Luna chuckled from her perch on the arm of Theo's chair and Hermione blinked when she saw the pair wearing matching beetle necklaces that Theo seemed to be showing Scorpius. It looked absolutely ridiculous but he didn't seem to care.

The conversation turned towards Theo's new taste in jewelry, which Luna looked excited to speak on. Pansy looked in horror when the beetle necklaces began moving. Hermione was distracted however by Draco absentmindedly rubbing circles around her inner thigh.

***

Draco cracked an eye open only to be met with the sight of Theo standing over him, a single brow raised.

"Fuck off, Nott," Draco mumbled, shutting his eyes once more and keeping his head laid on Hermione's lap while she ran her fingers through his hair.

"Did Scorpius go down for his nap alright?" Hermione asked, humor in her voice.

"Like a little pebble," Luna answered.

"He's not too used to being around so many people. It tired him out quite quickly," Draco responded, suppressing a groan when Hermione rubbed circles into his temple.

"Where's Blaise?" Theo asked.

Draco sighed, opening his eyes. "In the back with Pansy, joining her for her daily meditation," Draco replied. "Now if you don't mind..."

Theo chuckled and muttered something under his breath as he walked away with Luna but Draco ignored it, choosing to shut his eyes. Hermione's hand rested on his chest as her gentle laugh spread warmth through him.

It was almost terrifying how easy it was to surrender to his emotions for her. Draco thought he had experienced every emotion in life now that had seen and experienced things there was no coming back from. And yet he found himself surprised at what he was capable of feeling.

He loved them. He would do anything for them. It was the same love that burned in his mother's eyes when she smiled as she was consumed by flames. It was also in his father — his father who fucked up and did not know how to express his love in ways other than how he was taught. And in understanding love, Draco understood forgiveness. Forgiveness for his father, for the man he never became. And forgiveness for himself so that he could look at himself in the mirror and see a man who would make himself worthy of them, worthy of the life and dream he didn't even know he could have.

"We have a guest." Draco opened his eyes and sat up as Blaise and Pansy walked into the room, a guarded expression on their faces. Theo stepped in front of Luna and Draco and Hermione stood as Ronald Weasley walked into the room.

"Erm hello," Ron said awkwardly, scanning the room of Slytherins.

"Ron?" Hermione asked, confused at his arrival.

"Happy Birthday, Mione," Ron greeted nervously. Hermione crossed her arms. "Well I won't stay long but I was wondering if we could have a chat."

Hermione turned to Draco but his look only showed his silent support for whatever she decided. When she didn't form a response, he tilted his head, silently asking if she wanted him to get rid of Ron. Hermione shook her head, releasing a tense breath.

On an impulse, she went on her tiptoes and kissed Draco softly. She smiled against his lips at his surprise, vaguely hearing Blaise whistle in the background.

"Alright," Hermione said after pulling away, turning to Ron who had gone beet-red.

Not waiting for a response, Hermione walked past him. She had already reached the hallway when she heard him rushing to keep up with her. Silently, they made their way to the back door porch.

"What did you want to talk about?" she asked, keeping her gaze trained on a sparrow bird flitting between the branches. Hermione blinked and her view was blocked by Ron's tall form.

"I — I know I'm not good with words and I've never been capable of thinking before speaking... or doing. I also never tended to really think about how what I said or did affected you since you always seemed so above everything and capable of handling it all," he rushed, looking at her pleadingly with clear cerulean eyes. "But I'm sorry. Not just about our argument but leaving you. Again. I've been reflecting a lot and fuck I'm still far from figuring things out — figuring who I am without Harry or you —"

Hermione swallowed.