"Perhaps they were right putting love into books.

Perhaps it could not live anywhere else."

— William Faulkner

It had been 73 days and 14 hours since they lost everything. The war. Their best friend. Something had broken between her and Ron. Day by day even as they spent every moment together, she never felt so distant from him.

Hermione stared up at Ron across the fire. His face held the same desolate hollowness she didn't doubt was reflected in her own face. They were somewhere in the forest of Dean looking for a lead, a clue that could somehow help them save Harry. But she was lost. She was lost and did not know what the fuck she was doing.

Kingsley and Moody had shared a look when Ron revealed their plans to find a way to get Harry back. She had tried to convince them too, presenting them with her theories and research, but even she knew it was bullshit.

"We are almost there, I know it, Mione." Hermione blinked at Ron who was rocking back and forth. It was a dead end, she knew it.

"Ron... I don't think there will be a way to bring him back —"

"You're giving up?" His eyes snapped to hers.

"It's — it's not what I'm saying it's just that — "

"Then why the fuck are you here?" he exploded, standing. She stood as well.

"Ron, you know how much I want this to work, but we tried everything! I searched every book, every lead, and —"

"But you're supposed to figure it out! You always figure it out!"

"I can't, Ron! I'm so fucking lost," she gasped, a sob wrenching through her upon her confession. She couldn't fight the tears this time. "I think we need to move on,"

"Harry would have never left you behind, he would —"

"Well I'm not fucking, Harry!" Ron blinked at her outburst, surprised. "But what could we have done? I always suspected that shard of soul —"

Ron narrowed his eyes. "You knew?"

She didn't mean for it to come out. "I — I wasn't sure —"

"Fuck! You fucking knew and didn't say anything?" Ron yelled. He ran his hands through his hair.

"Ron, I'm sorry I didn't say anything but I wasn't sure. I only suspected —"

"Maybe if you told us earlier, Harry wouldn't be gone," he snarled. Her heart shattered even further — if she still had some semblance of a heart left after what she had done to her parents and what she didn't do to save Harry.

"Ron, please," her voice broke. She was so lost and scared. She couldn't lose him too.

She called out to him again, but he shook his head and disappeared into the forest. The whole world crashed around her and she crumpled into herself. She fucked up. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

When she returned to headquarters she was greeted by a red-eyed Ginny and a note. Ron was gone.

Hermione jolted awake and curled around herself as a fresh wave of sobs wracked through her body. Everything was fucked up and she did not know when the nightmare would ever end.

***

The sky rumbled overhead, fat drops falling one by one like tears from a dying god.

"You're distracted!" Draco landed another successful jab to her ribs. The witch gritted her teeth, retaliating by sending sloppy hits his way. "Focus, Granger."

"Shut up."

Draco regulated his breathing, watching her circle him. Her hair was tied back tightly, highlighting the gauntness of expression and the bags under her eyes. He didn't even need to see her face to know she barely slept.

Draco's fists curled against the door, resisting the urge to blast it open. Another muffled sob came from the other side. Draco tried the door knob again despite knowing it was already locked. This was the third night this happened. He felt something deep inside of him tighten as more sobs sounded. Helplessly, he pressed his forehead against the wooden door.

"Again!"

Hermione's attacks came more rapidly but still lacked the fluidity and precision she usually had.

"This is pathetic!" He saw a fire light in her eyes and he urged it on. "Give me all you got, Granger!"

She did. She let out all her anger and frustration and directed it at him. And he let her — as long as it kept that fire alive, he didn't care if she took it out on him.

Again and again she attacked, losing herself to her emotions. He blocked and parried, letting her take her shots while he remained on the defense. A hoarse sob wrenched through her as she threw herself at him, fists blindly attacking him but with not much force. Gently, he grabbed her wrists and her body began to falter.

"Hermione," he murmured, pulling her against his chest. Her body sagged in defeat, clutching the front of his drenched shirt.

He felt helpless — ashamed he could not bring her more comfort. The only thing he seemed to be capable of offering was a distraction. But if that's what she wanted, he would give her that.

The clouds rumbled darkly and more rain fell. A shiver passed through him as the cold seeped into his bones but it didn't last long as warm lips pressed against his. He shuddered, pulling her body closer. One hand slipped into her wet hair, the other tightened around the curve of her waist. Draco sighed against her lips as her hands slid against his chest. When she trailed her lips along his neck, he groaned deep in his throat and dug his fingers into her hip.

Though his blood roared at her touch, he felt the walls of his mind crumble. The smell of burnt sugar and ash assaulted his senses followed by the image of pale blue eyes staring back at him. No.

Draco blinked rapidly as he was hit with a sudden chill. It was then he realized Hermione had detached herself from him. He saw the horror in her bloodshot eyes before she looked away.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. He reached for her but all he met were icy raindrops on his numb flesh.

***

It was chaos all around her and Hermione didn't know where she was with all the smoke from the exploded lab disorienting her vision. She tried not to panic as she blindly tried to find her way without being hit by a spell.

"Granger!" Hermione was barely able to react when a yellow light almost caught her on the right. Out of nowhere, Draco came into view by her side and blocked the attacks coming from her blind side. Hermione jolted back into action.

Without speaking, they continued to fight as thankfully the smoke began to clear. She barely hit her targets and more and more guilt spiraled in her as she noticed Draco take the brunt of her mistakes.

They had just taken down another Death Eater when Hermione heard a hoarse scream. Ron. She sprinted until she found him writhing on the ground, Bellatrix grinning above him.

"Poor baby Weasley," she crooned, letting go of her cruciatus on him. "You sound just like your idiot father when we strung him up in the Ministry using his insides."

"I'm going to fucking kill you," Ron snarled, blood dripping down the sides of his mouth.

Bellatrix threw her head back and laughed.

"Bombardo!" Hermione hissed.

Bellatrix raised her wand but not quick enough to stop herself from being thrown backwards. Hermione kept her wand up and stood in front of Ron. Vaguely she noticed Draco haul Ron up to his feet.

Hermione's arm twitched when the witch recovered. "What a lovely reunion," Bellatrix grinned from beneath the dark strands of hair falling wildly across her pale face. "Ronald Weasley and Hermione Granger. But we're missing one more aren't we?"

Bellatrix dug her wand into the flesh of her forearm where her dark mark was, hard enough to draw blood. Under the moonlight, her blood was as black as ink. Suddenly, above them, the dark mark lit the starless sky. The skull opened its jaw and a giant serpent slithered out of it and hissed.

A noise like a thousand bats sounded through the air as a dark cloaked figure appeared before them. Hermione paled.

"Harry," Ron breathed, now standing next to her. The man before them was not Harry Potter. His red eyes gleamed back at them as he pushed his hood back.

He smiled coldly. The black veins on his face were starker than she remembered. "Ronald Weasley and Hermione Granger."

Bellatrix cackled by his side.

"Members of the True Order," the Dark Lord spread his arms wide and the fighting ceased at the sound of his voice. "For too long we have strayed from our cause. For too long we have allowed ourselves to lose countless of powerful witches and wizards by fighting amongst ourselves."

Hermione's wand shook as Voldemort's crimson eyes landed on her. "How long will you keep fighting? How long will you keep sacrificing for a cause that will only hurt your own kind? I am here to bring back power, to bring us to our rightful place in a world where we no longer have to hide or diminish ourselves. Surrender now and we will spare you. Surrender now and we will rise together."

"We will never give up," Ron spat. "All your words are lies! We would rather die than follow you!"

Voldemort smiled and raised his wand. "So be it. Aveda —"

Hermione jolted backwards, the world collapsing as if she was being sucked into a vacuum. The world expanded again and all she could feel was pain. She felt like her body was cracked on the inside. She couldn't feel her fingers and toes and all she could do was scream silently. Vaguely, she noticed Ron puking on the ground next to her. Cool large hands cradled her face and a voice called out her name before it was drowned in white noise. She found herself calming as gray eyes came into view above her. She thought she was looking into the heart of a burning silver star. All she knew before she lost consciousness was that she was going to be safe.

***

Hermione blinked awake, the headquarters infirmary coming into view. She groaned at the dull ache in her body and tried to flex her limbs and legs but the stiff bandages restricted her movement.

"Watson?" Her vision sharpened, revealing the elf on a chair near her cot.

"Ms. Granger." The old elf nodded then continued to knit what looked like a tiny green cap.

"What happened?"

"Ms. Granger is splinched when the Malfoy heir disapparated with she and the Weasley boy. The healer makes sure all fingers and toes on the mend now."

Hermione swallowed stiffly, glad she didn't remember any of it. It felt like her body had been ripped and sewn back together like a doll.

"What time is it?"

"It is four in the morning. Watson just relieved the Malfoy heir, he has."

"Draco was here?"

"Yes."

"Is Scorpius alright?"

Watson wrinkled his nose and scratched his fleshy pointed ears. "The young Malfoy is sleeping now. Too much negotiation," he grumbled, "but Watson makes him go to bed."

"Thank you, Watson. For taking care of him." Watson lifted his chin, busying himself once more with the tiny cap. A comfortable silence passed. "Can I ask you a question?"

Watson paused as if debating her request. Finally, he nodded.

"It is my understanding that house-elves need a home, to feel a sense of belonging to their family, hence the magical ties they've made with many pureblood households. How did you fight against that nature?"

"Ms. Granger is right — it is in the house-elf nature and magic to need a home and family," Watson's purple eyes zeroed in on her, "but not to be a slave, oh no, but to do services out of a shared bond. Watson's family has served the same purebloods for years. Watson's ancestors chose the most honorable family of Selwyn to give their fealty and loyalty when the most noble Soraya Selwyn healed Watson's ancestor. But their spawn is not honorable or noble," he spat.

"And those elves that have been mistreated, why do they still try to return to their masters even after being freed?"

Watson chuckled. "Wizard-kind are not so different, are they? Even if they are treated terribly by their own ties and blood, do they still not stay? Both wizards and elves, it is in our nature to seek homes in other beings and cling on to the bonds that may even hurt us."

Hermione startled at his words. He was right. She had never understood the abused house-elves she had freed in the past who fought against being freed. But what was the difference from wizards and muggles who continued to stay in relationships when they've been treated badly?

"And now? Now that you are free from the family that abused you, do you feel it? That need to find a home in others? Or do you fight it, to protect yourself and maintain your freedom?"

Watson shrugged.

"Watson thinks this is a question Ms. Granger is also trying to answer." His gaze pierced right through her as if seeing something she could not. The elf looked back down at his work and picked at the green thread. "Watson does not know the answer. Watson's old masters were not family, they hurt Watson. Some elves is too blind to see it — don't know who they are without their masters. Watson believes true family exists, but maybe not where he expects." His voice was softer towards the end.

"Ms. Granger must rest now," he said a moment later.

Hermione nodded and lost herself to sleep.

***

"Weasley."

"Malfoy."

Draco blinked slowly, feigning nonchalance. This seemed to infuriate the ginger more as his lips curled in some semblance of a sneer. Draco smirked.

"Who you?" Scorpius asked, perched snuggly on Hermione's hip as they entered the kitchen.

"Erm hi, I'm Ron." The red-head at least had the decency to manage a strained smile at Scorpius. Scorpius however looked him up and down warily. When his gaze landed on his unruly red hair, the boy arched a brow.

"Ron, this is Scorpius," Hermione introduced while coming to stand between them.

Draco stepped towards Hermione and Scorpius, taking Scorpius into his arms.

"Is there something you need, Ron?" Hermione crossed her arms.

Ron's eyes narrowed at the close distance between Draco and Hermione. "What's going on? Between you and Malfoy?"

"Nothing."

Draco froze, his head snapping up and searching Hermione's features. But her face was a mask, no evidence of her clipped response that still echoed in his head. Nothing. He didn't know what he expected and maybe he shouldn't have been surprised, but the words made his blood run cold.

"Can we have a moment?" the redhead asked her imploringly.

Before Hermione could respond, Draco turned away, leaving them in the empty kitchen.

"Ron, I'm not having this conversation again," she sighed, feeling too tired and drained. She had nothing else to say to him.

"Look, I don't want to fight okay? Just talk," he said carefully.

Instead of responding, Hermione took a moment to look at him. Now that her initial shock was gone, she noticed how skinny he had gotten over the years. He looked haggard, his red hair not as bright as it was before. He wasn't a boy anymore, the warm, carefree Weasley boy she had crushed on for many years. She wondered what Harry would think if he saw the both of them now. If he would be surprised, disappointed. Terrified?

"I've been working things out like you said. And seeing Harry... well, his body," his voice cracked and Hermione felt some sympathy despite how angry she was with him, "it's not him. Ginny's been taking me on some missions of hers as well. I've seen what that bastard in Harry's body has been doing."

Hermione nodded but remained silent, feeling a slight relief that Ron was beginning to accept that Harry was gone.

"You're not the only one upset — Ginny, George, and a bunch of Order members are. And I know it might be a while but I'm certain we can get things back to the way they were."

She stilled and blinked at him incredulously. Back to the way they were.

He continued. "It'll be just like old times, yeah? You and me. It's what Harry would've wanted — "

Hermione snapped. "Don't you dare. Don't you dare tell me what Harry would have wanted. Gods," she said in exasperation, running her hands through her hair. "You don't think I want things to be back the way they were? Of course I do! But I'm not her anymore, Ron. I can't lie or pretend that this war hasn't changed me."

"But you'd still give our friendship a chance?"

"I — I'll have to think about it. There's just a lot going on — "

He scoffed. "So you can give Malfoy a chance but not your best friend?" he spat.

"It's different — "

"Of course! How could I have forgotten the kid!"

"Excuse me? Don't you dare bring Scorpius into this!"

"Oh please, Hermione, I read his report. I know his wife is dead. Come on — the brightest-witch -of-our-age aren't you?" he snarled. "He's fucking using you! He needs a nanny for the kid! What? Did you actually think you could be his mother?"

Hermione inhaled sharply. Her fingers began trembling as the voices in the back of her mind rang in her ears.

"Did you think he would let someone who isn't a pureblood be that kid's mother?" he scoffed. "I mean really, Hermione. Must be convenient for him, yeah? A willing witch to play nanny, letting her pretend she could be the kid's mother, and at the same time being able to stick his pureblood prick — "

A solid crack echoed through the kitchen as Hermione's fist met his face. Ron staggered backward, clutching his bleeding nose. Her hands were shaking, her knuckles feeling bruised at the impact. But it was nothing compared to the pain in her chest. She felt as if she was choking, her chest collapsing from the inside.

"Get out! Get the fuck out!" she screamed. She put her head in her hands, vaguely hearing the back door shut and the sound of disapparition moments later.

Everything that happened over the past few days rushed towards her like an angry wave that would drown her. She swallowed thickly. Ron was cruel but deep down she knew he was right.

***

Dinner was a quiet affair. Even Scorpius barely touched his meal having noticed the tension between the two adults at the table. The meal tasted like ash in Hermione's mouth, doing nothing to take her mind away from the words Ron hurled at her.

"Daddy, can I go to room and play?" the boy asked tentatively.

"Yes," Draco murmured, eyes still focused on his unfinished meal.

When Scorpius left, the room seemed to take on a distinct chill.

"If you're done, I'll store the leftovers," she said tonelessly, not able to bear the tense silence between them.

She had just gotten up and waved her wand to take the food away when a large hand curled around her wrist. She waited a heart beat but he seemed to hesitate, refusing to look at her. What he was about to say seemed to die in his mouth when his lips settled into a grim line and his face hardened.

He let go of her wrist. "I'll clean up."

Hermione stared as Draco stood then wordlessly levitated the dishes to the sink. It surprised her, his coldness. It was as if they were back to the beginning.

"What's wrong?" She had been so caught up in her argument with Ron that she had not noticed Draco's shift in attitude.

To her surprise, he laughed humorlessly, finally turning away from the sink to look at her. "What's wrong? Nothing, Hermione. Nothing."

His words confused her and he seemed to read that, his face closing off more and more.