Name: Swanstar. Cool, leader is a tiny bit generic, but I love the prefix Swan! I have a Swanbubble.

Past names: Swan , Swankit , Swanpaw , Swanmoon. Normal. I asume she was a loner at some point?

Clan: SapphireClan (fan-clan) Pretty

Gender: Female. Okay

Sexuality: Bi. Good for her.

Appearance: A slender white-furred she-cat with a gray tabby mask, and a tabby cape on her back led to her tail. Her ears are large, her nose is pale gray-pink. Her eyes are pretty blue-gray and her whiskers are black and short. Sounds like a very pretty cat! I like the details.

Persona: Swanstar is a pretty dim-witted feline. She enjoys play-fighting with loved ones. She is loyal and manipulative. Sometimes, she turns her own friends against her. She talks to herself a lot and is leaning deeply towards the dark forest at death. Seems pretty balanced! Not a mix I see every day, I like the play-fighting thing. But what exactly did she do to go towards the dark forest?

Mate: N/A. Okay

Kits: (adopted:Dewpaw , Harepaw) I love when people have adopted kits! It's so much more interesting than a normal mate and kits.

Other family and Kin: Jaguarflower (mother) , Halfswipe (sister) Nice names

Cause of death , future deaths:

1 - crushed by a tree

2 - fell down into abandoned ThunderClan camp

3 - attacked by a fox

4 - shot by a twoleg

5 - crushed by a tree

6 - ate wrong herbs

7 - got fed deathberries

8 - attacked by a fox

9 - fell down the gorge.

All pretty normal! But who fed her deathberries?

Rank: Leader

Past ranks: Kittypet, kit, apprentice, warrior, medicine cat, deputy, leader. Oh, she was a kittypet. And a medicine cat, and a leader? Very unusual, doesn't make a ton of sense, as kittypets are not usually held highly.

Good traits: Loyal, brave. Okay

Bad traits: Literally her entire body, her entire persona too. I don't really get the wording here. What's wrong with her body and persona? What about skills and atributes? Also kind of unbalanced.

Hunting:8/10

Fighting:10/10

Swimming:1/10

Climbing:3/19

Leadership:6/10

Reputation:9/10

A rule of thumb is never have anything as a 10/10 or 0/10. Even if I am good at reading, I can always be better. Even if cats usually hate water, they can swim. Other then that, pretty good.

Likes: Gatherings, drama. Okay, anything else?

Dislikes: Traitors. Again, anything else?

Scars: lots, on her flank, spine, legs, eye, etc. Okay, scarred up girl

Other: N/A. Cool

Backstory: Swanstar was born as a rogue, abandoned by her parents as a kitten she was founded by two teenage twolegs. The twolegs abused her for a few days, being left outside each cold night. She ran away, she was almost starved when a few SapphireClan apprentices found her. They healed her and gave her prey, excited by this treatment she never had she asked to join and got accepted. She was adopted by Robinneedle. She had 2 littermates, Dewkit and Sunnykit. They teased her lots, making her believe bad things, stupid things, etc. She was finally made Swanpaw, apprenticed to Whitefoot. She played mossball still because she was forced to grow up too fast. Other apprentices, even warriors. She became a bit more dumb as her siblings continued to tease. She became depressed for several moons. She was more tired or didnt participate in training. Whitefoot scolded her which only made it hurt worse. Eventually becoming a warrior, then forced to be a medicine cat. She became more depressed, beginning to change her attitude. Cats stayed away from her. She got anxiety. Finally she pleaded so much to become a warrior that the leader finally agreed. She became a warrior, then deputy soon after. Her reputation built up again, once going to the moonstone with the new leader she stole their lives. She felt great. She told SapphireClan that StarClan didnt accept the leader. They said that he was a fraud. She soon became leader and so on.Okay. Stuff to unpack. Deputy is quite extreme after her level of sadness and sorrow/ such a bad start in her life, and was there a reason for being made deputy? Why? And stealing a leaders lives- how? And what happened to the leader, did they die, leave or just stay quiet?

Okay! Overall, I like this OC, even if they are a bit confusing. She seems to have a good starting backstory, but a kind of iffy end one. It's just sort of confusing/strange/extreme. But, I give her a 7.2/10 Thanks for submitting! (Sorry about weird font, and this is just my opinion!!)

BONUS: Kind of what I think she would look like! (Not really, just close as I could find)