Her heart pounded. Each thump hard. She marched down the busy corridor of the hospital moving like a zombie. She could barely feel anything. It's as if something had been ripped from her, like her soul. She felt lifeless. When she bumped into someone, she had not stopped to apologise. She just moved. She wanted to be out of the hospital. Her head spun and only one word rang in it. Leukaemia.

It's her fault. It's totally her fault. She should have suspected that whatever was happening to Esosa was more than mere fever. She should have known when the fevers kept coming back. Esosa had been vomiting several times, usually when the fever was present. Esosa developed bruises that never fade. She had been more tired than usual, barely able to move whenever she laid down. Esosa's appetite was low. Despite all the multivitamins she took, she hardly eats. She should have known that the painless lump on her neck meant something but she have overlooked it thinking it will go away. Is she late? Is she not worried enough to have postponed the doctor's appointment to the next day? She should have taken her daughter to the hospital the night before. Esosa will never have woken up in the middle of the night finding it hard to breathe.

Light poured upon her as she pulled the main door apart. The door swung back. She rushed through it. When she got to the end of the walkway, she halted. She felt the emotions she held in choke her like someone was strangling her. Her chest constricted painfully, closing over her lungs. Respiration became hard and forced. She clutched unto her chest, trying to breathe. It hurts badly. Tears sprung into her eyes. Sweat oozed from her pores. Her baby can't die. Nothing should happen to her baby. Esosa has to live. Tremors started in every part of her body.

"Osasere!" Her mother called behind her, rushing to meet her as she sank to her knees. Water spilled from Osas's eyes. The first sob since the news had been broken to them left Osas's lips. "Osasere" Her mother knelt beside her, a hand over her trembling body.

"Mama" Osas sobbed. "My baby" She choked. Warm tears coursed down her face in an unending fall.

"She will be fine" Her mother assured, her voice shaky with unshed tears lingering at the rim of her eyes. "Esosa will be fine. Nothing will happen to her"

"My baby is going to die. She's leaving me!" She broke down, clutching unto her mother like she was the rope of life.

Nothing prepared her for this nightmare. She kept asking herself why. Why her daughter? Why her? Why does it seem like her perfect happy life would be crumbling down into nothing soon? So much will change. A lot will. She just got that nagging feeling inside her. Esosa can never be the same again. She had seen people and heard how they fight cancer. It's a marathon. A long journey with lots of ups and down, lots of fear. Cancer kills and her daughter will die! She felt her inner being tremble. She can't lose Esosa! Esosa cannot leave her! Osas pushed the doorbell feeling air squeezing out of her.

Osas saw a bright past and a sombre future. What wrong did she ever do? What has she done that she's being punished this way? Will she ever be able to watch her daughter grow? Those doctors are lying. Something happened during the test. They have to rerun it. Esosa can't have cancer. She can't!

"Osas?" A voice called. She lifted her head to look at Jafar. Her hair was damp from the drizzle that started few minutes back on her way to his house. She sighed, relieve washing through her. She had thought he won't be home. Watching him stand a feet away from her made her want to break down and rush to him but she held every feeling in.

Jafar noticed the red eyes and puffy face. She had been crying. Worry laced his eyes. Lines creased on his forehead as he moved closer towards her. Osas looked at him, unmoving, speechless. Stagnant tears glistened in her eyes. He understood everything. Something terrible had happened. "Come in" He stepped aside.

Jafar led her to the living room where she sat on the three seater. He walked to the center table where a jug of water sat. He filled the glass next to it and handed it over to her. He saw the quivers in her hand as she received it. When he collected an empty glass, he saw the look in her eyes. The one that pleads with him to help her.

Osas was tired and exhausted physically and emotionally. Slowly, she kicked off her heels and removed her blazers then laid down. There was so much gentleness in him. In the way he looked at her like he understood her, like he can read her. She supported her head with one of the little cushions. He came back then crouched next to her so he could look at her face. A lot was going on in her head. He saw fear in her eyes. She gave that lifeless look. The kind that told him whatever had happened had broken her within. He took her hand into his.

"She's going to die" She husked out, eyes locked with his as a tear rolled down her nose bridge.

He does not know who she was referring to but he knew one thing. The two most important people in Osas's life are her mother and daughter. Whoever she's referring to has to be one of them. "She won't"

Osas closed her eyes then opened it. More tears trickled down. "It's leukaemia" Her voice was quiet and low. Those words came out through trembling lips.

Jafar lowered his body to the floor. He sat, crossing his legs under him. There was a long silence before he said "She will fight it" He rested a hand on her cheek. More tears spilled. Osas sniffled and snuggled into the pillow as she held his hand in return. He watched her eyes close and for the next one hour, they were like that. She fell asleep.

When she woke up, he was seated next to the three seater with his laptop in front of him. She listened to the loud pounding against earth. Slashes of water against the roof. It was raining. The room was chiller than it had been before she slept off. She had a fluffy blanket over her. Osas rose, her body and mind weak. She just had a bad dream. In it, Esosa left her.

"The survival rate for leukaemia had increased to fifty per cent and above. She will survive it. She will be one of the lucky ones" He said as he lifted his eyes at her.

"I will leave" She spoke, rising to her feet. He did the same thing. Osas picked her heels and blazer. "I left her in the hospital with my mother. She will need me" As those words left her lips, she broke within, falling part like.

"Osas" He caught her hand. Jafar was not sure why he did it but his instincts and the sudden urge that came told him she will need it. He pulled her into a hug, holding her against him. There was something about the embrace that told her a lot. It sent a silent message like he feels her pain and he's ready to help her through it. The way he ran his hand up and down her back was an assurance that everything will be alright. That simple hug broke her defences. She broke down again, lifting her hands to wrap around him.

-----

It's always the same. A crushing pain that radiated through his head. Whenever it struck, he was its captive, nearly stranded in his cage of pain. He just wanted to sit, lay his head against something, hopefully he might feel better. Ahmad staggered into the room, clutching unto his head. His eyelids were dropping, vision becoming fuzzy. Ahmad stumbled against a stool but got his balance before he landed on the floor. The headache's getting worse each passing day. It has become a frequent pain. He gets relieve from it whenever he take pills after pills of what the doctor had prescribed for him.

"Haseenah!" He griped out, holding his head tighter.

Haseenah heart skipped as she dropped her lipstick into her makeup box. She was dressing up for the pre-wedding party of Ahmad's cousin's wedding. Few days ago, they landed in Abuja for a wedding that had been termed wedding of the year because it's going to be large and expensive. The guests at the wedding would be politicians, governors, the president of the country, his vice, ministers and their family and friends. The whole rooms of a five-star hotel had been booked for the wedding. People from far and near would attend. Abuja will be locked down. She was contemplating as she applied her lipstick if she should open her hair or tie a scarf into turban style like she had done for the kamu when she heard Ahmad call her name.

Haseenah could feel the trembles in her hand. Warm moisture seeped from its invisible pores. She clutched her dress. Has she done something wrong again? She turned gently to look at him, her heart pounding against her chest. Ahmad staggered further into the room, his hand clamped his head. She understood what was happening.

"Ahmad" She jumped to her feet. "Are you alright?" She rushed to him. He refused her help when she offered, pushing her away as much as he could but he had no enough strength to push her away in a hard and forceful way.

"Get the damn pills" He ordered through gritted teeth as he laid gently on the bed.

Haseenah dashed to the en suite with a pace as fast as the speed of a rocket then came out with a bottle of white pills in hand. She hurried to get water from the jug on the nightstand. Ahmad laid on the bed, rolling and whimpering in pain. She was shaky and could not help but get worried and scared. The headache's becoming a constant pain that never seem to subside. She hopes it won't lead to something deadly because it's becoming abnormal. Ahmad collected the pills and glass of water with a greediness she has never seen in him. He wanted relieve from whatever he's feeling.

Few minutes later, he was fast asleep. Haseenah stood in front of the mirror to have a final look at herself. The dress flattered her figure. It was an emerald green mermaid dress with puffy sleeves. Her makeup, done by her, was impeccable and half of her hair which was sleek human weave, was hidden under an emerald green scarf. She picked her silver purse and turned to have a glance at her sleeping husband.

Haseenah moved, her steps measured and quiet. She had her eyes fixed on the sleeping figure on the bed. She sat next to him. There was an agony that clutched unto her chest. A pain that came from knowing he was sick. They had been to the hospital and the doctor had said such migraines can be due to stress. Tests were carried out. The results showed nothing's wrong with him. Tears glazed her eyes and she cursed herself. Soon, she might ruin her makeup. She cares so much for him that she does not want anything to happen to him. She cares so much that it hurts. He might have wounded her physically, mentally and emotionally but then she can't forsake him when he needs her the most. She's meant to feel joy in her heart for every pain he feels but she saw herself reaching out to him even though he won't appreciate any of her help.

Is she abnormal? Is she stupid for caring for a man who had done nothing but inflicted pain on her? It annoys her that she cares. That she still loves him regardless of what he had done to her. She could have just left him to die. She could have pretended not to hear him call out for her and taken her time before answering him but she was running, scared and worried, just to get him what will make him better. She sighed, getting up. How much more does Ahmad want to make her feel pathetic?

People saw her as Ahmad Danlami's pretty wife. They saw a woman whose husband was crazy about. She was that woman Ahmad cannot stop boosting about. The woman behind his smiles. Haseenah stayed back when many went to dance. She was never a good dancer. She was the kind who could dance on her seat but will do a horrible dance step when asked to dance while standing. So also, her thought about Ahmad that night had sort of killed her morale.

"Excuse me" A voice said behind her. She whizzed back to see a man smiling at her. "I think I have seen you somewhere"

The corners of her lips lifted into a smile. "Sorry, I am married" She lifted her left hand.

The man laughed. "I am not hitting on you. I am serious. We have met. That rainy day your car got spoilt on the road. In Lagos, along Lekki side"

Her eyes grew wide with realisation. She sucked in a deep breath. Her mouth formed an o. "I remember you"

That night when she got back home from visiting a new mother who was Ahmad's friend's wife, drenched and cold, with a damaged car she managed to drive, Ahmad had beat her. He had not waited for any excuse. He welcomed her with the usual, a slap. She tried to tell him the truth amidst her sobs which he had not listened to. He thought she had been with some other man.

"Oh Haseenah" He had called, his breathing heavy. "If you think about cheating on me, I will murder you" He wrapped his hand around her neck.

"I am really grateful for what you did. You have no idea how you helped me"

"Sam" He brought out his hand.

"Haseenah" She took it.

"Babe, I have been searching everywhere for you" Ahmad's voice boomed around them.

Her blood chilled. When did he get up? Why did he have to wake up now? Why did he have to walk up to her when she's talking to a man? He won't let it slide. Ahmad will deal with her. She could feel the hammering of her heart as it pummels against its enclosure of bone and tendon. Dread knotted the muscles in her stomach.

"How could you leave me behind?" He snaked a hand around her waist, pulling her closer.

Haseenah smiled, relaxing into his touch. Beneath the easiness she displayed in her smile was fear of what was going to happen next. "You were sleeping. I didn't want to wake you up. How was your nap?" She smiled, eyes glistening with joy of seeing him. Her voice was supple and full of relieve.

"Great" He released her then stepped away. "How do your great husband look?" He opened his arms for her to examine him.

Haseenah laughed, her cheeks flushing with a red hue. "Hot as always"

His smiled reached his eyes. It was the kind that came from within, illuming every part of his face. "You look good dear wife" He caressed her cheek. "I see you are talking with someone" He finally acknowledge Sam.

"Ah....yes" She chuckled. There was a hidden edginess underneath the mellifluous giggle. "Sam" She pointed at Sam. "My husband Ahmad" She introduced. Both men exchanged pleasantries.

"With the way you guys chatted, I guess you have met before" Haseenah drew in a very deep breath. Where's that conversation leading to?

"Yes. In Lagos. I helped her when her car broke down"

"When was that?" He asked his wife.

"That rainy day" Haseenah managed not to stammer.

"Oh" He drew out. "It was you. She told me how much you helped her that day. I am really grateful" He shook Sam's hand again.

"It was nothing" Sam, who was slightly embarrassed, said with a wave.

"If you don't mind" His hand slithered across Haseenah's waist. This time, his grip was tight. She could feel his fingernails digging past the material of her dress into her skin. Haseenah's heart flipped in her chest. She felt the liquefied feeling of terror flow through her body. She understood the message clearly. "We will have to leave you. We have a lot of people to meet" He turned away.

Ahmad threw her into the corner. Haseenah staggered on her shaky feet before getting a hold of herself.

"Is that what you do behind my back?" Ahmad took a bold step closer. His fists were closed. His muscle in his jaw ticked. "Getting familiar with men who can't stop undressing you with their eyes?" he roared, slamming his palm against the wall.

Haseenah jumped back. Her shoulders hunched. She cowered away, enclosing her body a bit, ready for whatever physical abuse Ahmad will give her this time. "Ahmad" His name rolled out of her lips as if she could not believe what he was saying and doing. Hamad's eyes were wide with rage. "Nothing was going on between us. We were just having a simple conversation"

"A simple conversation?" He slammed her against the wall. "Do I need to remind you?" The slap was something she had always expected to come yet it takes her off guard each time he threw one at her. The impact of the slap was always the same. Head snapping back and ears ringing. "I have told you times without number Haseenah, I do not want you getting familiar with men when I am not around you"

"And if you are around me, will it change anything? You will always find fault in everything I do with them!" She spoke.

"I see you are getting quiet defensive these days. Where did you get such courage from?"

Anger roared in his system. He could feel its heat in his ears, ringing and ready to explode. He was about to lost it. As much as he tried to hold it in its confinement, he felt it thriving to be freed. The sight of the woman before him disgusted him. She turned his stomach. He just wanted to hit her. Beat her until she could breathe no more. Smack her till she can't feel anything again. Punch her while waiting for her to breathe her last. But he did none of those. Instead, he swung his leg into her stomach which knock the air off her lungs and sent her to the floor.

-----

It rained all night through the late hours of the morning. The rain brought a new day with a different feeling, smell and mood. The morning was cold, chilly with gloominess in the sky. The day was quieter. It was kind of unusual in the compound. The girls opposite them had no drama to show. Well, their drama never seem of relevance to him because they are unnecessary. The guy in the next flat who plays music at the highest volume had not done so since the night before. It made it easier and more peaceful to sleep through the morning. Lola had complained some time back that she has had enough of the way he plays music. He was sure she will be banging at his door the next time he does that.

Joshua reminisced what happened in the morning. His family had come unannounced and Lola had not been the least polite. She threw hurtful, hateful and rude words at them especially his mother. That's one thing he has to make clear to her. He can take any shit but one shit he can't take is someone insulting his family especially his mother. God! He was angry. He was so angry that he could kill and Lola does not care. She does not give a fuck about how he felt, how his family felt or how insolent her words were. It still baffles him that someone will choose to hate his family without any valid reason. And that person is his wife! His mother was shocked. She was speechless because she has never seen such level of disrespect. Omolara had wanted to lash Lola back but his elder brother stopped her. The morning incident was something he won't overlook. He's going to give her a piece of his mind when he gets back home.

Now, here he was in his ex-girlfriend's living room, a wine glass in hand while they chatted. How he got there is still not clear to him. He remembered inviting her out because she had been pestering him about it. They were at a nice restaurant where they ate mouth-watering sea food. He drove her home and Loretta invited him in for wine which he did not decline.

"The photo shoot went well" Loretta answered his question about their photo session. "Lola is creative and good"

"She is" He agreed. "I have seen her work on Instagram and they are excellent. I don't know how to describe it but her work is the kind you see and the first expression is wow"

Loretta laughed. "You must have studied her work a lot"

"I did. I had a photo shoot with her"

"When? How?"

"Before we got married"