Part 2 of this story will be on that account ]

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚗𝚃𝚇.

❦

"BAE!"

"MARI!"

"AMAR-"

"WHAT NIGGA DAMN?"

Samiron jerked his head back and mugged me. "Ima just ignore the attitude. Can you help me with this shit?" He asked, motioning towards his black tie.

I got up from the couch and fixed his tie before he walked back into his bathroom. Todays Soovy's funeral and Samiron been real quiet all morning but I can't say that I didn't expect that from him. He's been quiet all week. He'll talk a lil' here and there but for the most part he always looks deep in thought. Shit, we both are.

As for me, I haven't been dealing with any of this shit well. It seems like every time I close my eyes I see Messiah's face telling me it's your fault, then I see Bri'on's dead body on the sidewalk.

I don't know how much more of this I can take, I feel like i'm going crazy. There's just too many issues to deal with at once and I feel so overwhelmed. And the worst part about it is feelin like you gotta go through it alone cause no ones gonna understand or relate to you. No one in the group has unintentionally set their own brother up to get shot so I know they can't relate.

"You ready?" Samiron asked snapping me out of my thoughts.

I nodded and got up to walk past him but he grabbed my arm, "Say Mari, you need to start talkin' to me. Like on some real shit. You keep zoning out and no matter how much you say im good I'm not believing it." He shrugged and I broke eye contact to look at the wall.

"You need to start talkin to me too, Miron." I retorted and he sighed in frustration.

"I'm not talkin 'bout me right now Mari I'm talking about YOU. You just killed yo brothers real killer and i'm already knowing that you're still blaming yourself for Bri'on getting killed. On top of all that you just found out you can't have babies AND Soovys dead. You're not okay and the first step to fixing that is realizing that you're not."

I didn't know what to say. Yea im not okay but i'm not gonna go around spilling my issues to everyone in the group while we JUST lost Soovy.

"I get it Samiron." I muttered and he shook his head.

"Nah, you don't get it Mari. When you gon' realize that you need to help yourself first? I get that you care a lot about people and I love that about you, but you need to start caring about yourself first. Yo issues don't just get pushed to the side cause muthafuckas dealing with stuff right now too."

"Okay, Samiron." I sighed and he eyed me.

"Okay what?"

"Okay ima start talkin bout my problems." I muttered and he nodded. "You better. Now come on we late." We walked out his house and into his all black Hellcat.

The whole drive to the church was silent. Samiron sat there with the same emotionless expression he's had on his face all week while I scrolled through instagram.

⚫️ amariibrowne

- 𝙨𝙬𝙞𝙥𝙚 -

Liked by 𝘇𝗶𝗼𝗻𝟮𝗿𝗶𝗰𝗵𝗵, 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝘁𝘁𝗮𝗱𝘂𝗰𝗸 and others

𝗮𝗺𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗶𝗯𝗿𝗼𝘄𝗻𝗲 Miss you like shit. #LLS #SW

Comments on this post have been disabled

⚫️ shaywayy

- 𝙨𝙬𝙞𝙥𝙚 -

Liked by 𝗲𝗹𝗶𝘅𝘄𝗲𝘀𝘁, 𝘇𝗶𝗼𝗻𝟮𝗿𝗶𝗰𝗵𝗵 and others

I'll always love you, 4ever in my heart 💔 #LLS

View all 776 comments

rip to our nigga, missin him like crazy rn!

| @asadababyy gtf out my comments disrespectful ass hoe

| @shayway_ Lol you still mad that he ain want you? Girl gtf you nun more than a BABYMOMMA, that wasn't yo nigga

Just turn off yo comments atp.

If y'all don't stop arguing and let this man rest in peace, ole dumbasses

⚫️ shottaduck

Liked by 𝗮𝗺𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗶𝗯𝗿𝗼𝘄𝗻𝗲 and others

𝘀𝗵𝗼𝘁𝘁𝗮𝗱𝘂𝗰𝗸 Shit not right.. #LLS

View all 943 comments

he'd still be alive rn if you niggas ain gas him upp

| 𝗺𝗼𝗻𝗲𝘆𝘆𝗺𝗶𝗿 @randomuser you must wanna meet god soon

| 𝗲𝗹𝗶𝘅𝘄𝗲𝘀𝘁 @randomuser Yo granny waitin for you in hell

𝗮𝗶𝗷𝗮𝗵𝘅𝗿𝗼𝘀𝗲 LLS 🤍

𝘇𝗶𝗼𝗻𝟮𝗿𝗶𝗰𝗵𝗵 Damn man 💔💔

𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗹𝟭𝟬𝟬𝗸_ SW 💔🌏

⚫️ moneyymir

Liked by and others

𝗺𝗼𝗻𝗲𝘆𝘆𝗺𝗶𝗿 Rest easy twin 💔 #LLS #SW

Comments on this post have been disabled

⚫️ aijahxrose

Liked by 𝗺𝗼𝗻𝗲𝘆𝘆𝗺𝗶𝗿, 𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗹𝟭𝟬𝟬𝗸_ and others

𝗮𝗶𝗷𝗮𝗵𝘅𝗿𝗼𝘀𝗲 #LLS 💔

Comments on this post have been disabled

⚫️ itskaniia

Liked by 𝗺𝗼𝗻𝗲𝘆𝘆𝗺𝗶𝗿, and others

𝗶𝘁𝘀𝗸𝗮𝗻𝗶𝗶𝗮 I miss you soo much bro, idk how much more of this I can take 💔 #LLS

View all 603 comments

Stay up sis ❤️

#LLS 🖤

⚫️ tasiaxx

Liked by , 𝗶𝘁𝘀𝗸𝗮𝗻𝗶𝗶𝗮 and others

Missing you gang.. 💔 #SW #LLS

Comments on this post have been disabled

⇊

I wiped a tear that fell while I scrolled through Instagram and realized we had already got to the church but the car was still parked. I looked over at Samiron and he was leaning back in his seat with his arm over his eyes. My baby is really going through it and it's breaking my heart that I can't help him.

"Samiron." I nudged him and he took his arm off his low eyes.

"We can't stay out here forever." I told him and he sighed.

"I know.. come on." He muttered getting out the car. He walked over to my side and helped me up since I still have stomach pains from the surgery.

I looked around and the entire church parking lot and it was full. It's crazy to see how many people's lives Soovy affected. Him not being here truly feels like a piece of the world is missing.

Me and Samiron walked to the front of the church hand in hand. Reece and Duck were standing at the door like some ghetto ass, makeshift ass security.

"What they doin'?" I asked Samiron.

"They makin sure no one Soovy didn't fuck with trynna come in." He shrugged and I chuckled to myself, remembering the time Soovy snapped on us about having people he doesn't fuck with at his funeral.

"Imagine people you don't bang with at yo funeral? That's fucked up." Soovy shook his head as he and Eli laughed.

He got up off the couch and stood on the coffee table in my parent's living room, "If yall ever let a nigga I don't fuck with into my funeral, im coming back to haunt y'all asses 'cause that's dead wrong and that means all wasn't real in the first place." Soovy announced.

"Soovy get the fuck off my table with all that dumbass shit you sayin!" My momma yelled from the kitchen, making him suck his teeth and get off.

"Ahhh! Nigga said he gon' come back and haunt us!" Eli laughed all dramatically.

"Can't come back from hell my nigga. Duck walked into the living room from the kitchen.

"Sholl can. Just ask Satan for permission, he a coo ass nigga forreal." Soovy shrugged and LayLay who was standing next to Eli gasped.

"You met Satan before?" She jerked her head back in confusion. Soovy nodded, "Yea I met him, he been asking about you too." He replied making Lay's eyes go wide before she ran upstairs.

"Uhn uhn, you on that demonic shit. I don't want that shit around me or my baby, move. I rebuke you." Tasia scooted away from him on the couch.

"Girl.. I would say "fuck yo demon seed" but that's my niece or nephew so." He shrugged and I couldn't help but laugh.

We walked into the church and it was just as full as it was outside. Up front, you could hear Aunt Parker crying with what looked like Soovy's younger sister. Reece, Zion, Destini, Kairo, and Kania were sitting a little more towards the back. Me and Samiron walked up front where Eli, Rell, Aijah, and Tasia were seated.

"Wassup." Samiron sent them a head nod that they all returned. I sat down next to him and took his hand in mine as I looked around the church. On one wall, there were enlarged pictures of Soovy. Seeing those pictures makes me want to cry all over again. Never in a million years would I imagine we would be sitting at Soovy's funeral. Like Soovy of all people? It doesn't feel real.

After everyone finally got settled in their seats, Aunt Parker walked to the mic with a solemn expression on her face.

"I-i wanna thank you all for coming today. Trayvion was not only my son, he was a father, a best friend, a brother, and most importantly; a genuine person. He

would always find a way to make you smile, regardless of if you knew him or not. There was never a dull moment with Trayvion and he never even gave you the chance to be sad around him." Aunt Parker started.

"I remember after his brother Malachi died, I would cry for hours on end. Trayvion would a-always see me crying and find a way to make me smile usually by makin a dumb joke that only he found funny. Nonetheless, his laugh and his smile were contagious a-and knowing I won't see it anymore- it-it hurts." She moved away from the mic and started to cry. Soovy's sister got on the stage and held her mom's hand.

I felt someone grasp onto my hand and I looked over to see Samiron gripping my hand with tears in his eyes as he watched Aunt Parker break down.

"Even though it really hurts me to know that my baby won't physically be here with us anymore, I find comfort in knowing that he made this much of an impact in all of our lives. and I know he will continue to be amongst us and watch over us in spirit. R-rest easy, my baby.." She walked off the stage in tears.

Aunt Parker and Soovy's sister exchanged a look with Shaila who had Juel sitting on her lap. Shaila sighed and got up holding Juel's hand as she walked up to the mic.

I'm surprised they're even letting her talk right now, considering they don't like her at all but that is his babymomma after all.

"My name is Shaila and Soovy was the father of my child, but also the man that holds a special place in my heart. Me and Trayvion didn't always see eye to eye. We argued, fought, and said some rude things to one another before. But regardless, I always have and always will love Soovy from the bottom of my heart. I've made a lot of wrongs when it came to me and Soovy's relationship, but I've never stopped loving him." Shaila expressed, holding Juel on her hip. Samiron scoffed at what she said and I slapped his arm.

"He always p-put up with me and gave me the benefit of the doubt even when I didn't deserve it. After we had Juel, Soovy would continuously say, I would give the world to my son if he asked for it, and if you saw the way Soovy interacted with Juel then you wouldn't doubt that. However I have doubted him as a father before even though he never gave me a solid reason to and that's something that I'll always regret. I know Soovy is watching over his

son and I promise that i'll never let Juel f-forget how much of an amazing father you were and how much you loved him." Shaila added, looking down at the ground with tears in her eyes. I had to fight the tears in my own eyes. The only reason I'm fighting to keep it together is for Samiron's sake.

After Soovy's casket was lowered into the ground and the funeral service was over, a few of Soovy's family members left to go to his grandma's house while the rest of us stood outside the church.

I met Soovy's mom and sister formally and they both looked completely broken. Aunt Parker seemed like she hadn't slept since that day at the hospital and Soovy's 14 year old sister, Mali, looked physically and mentally exhausted.

I've been balling my eyes out since we got here but Samiron hasn't cried since Aunt Parker spoke. Which means he's most likely bottling up his feelings— the same thing he's telling me not to do.

What's making this ten times harder is the fact that me and Samiron are both very reserved people. We keep our thoughts and feelings to ourself and let it consume us. I know Samiron wants me to finally address everything that happened in Louisiana but that starts with talking to my parents about everything and I don't know how the hell I'm gonna bring myself to do that.

"Look at these two mutafuckas." Rell laughed at Cee and Juel who were holding hands and rocking back and forth.

"Say, they look like that one emoji "👫🏾". He dragged and I couldn't help but laugh.

"Tee Mar?" Cee looked up at me.

"Wassup?"

"I come yo houze?"

"Yea just ask your daddy." I said and she huffed.

"You got a nasty ass attitude, li' girl." Rell shook his head.

"I no care." She cocked her head to the side.

"Uhn uhn.. Zion come get this grown ass baby from out my face." Rell yelled walking towards Zion 'nem. A few people standing around the church glared at Rell. He's really yelling outside of a church after a funeral..

I looked around for Samiron and saw him sitting on the sidewalk smoking with Zion, Eli and Duck. Thats all he been doing since we came back from New Orleans; smoking. It irritates me but at least he's not popping percs or something worse.

I walked over to him with Rell and greeted the rest of them. "Where my daughter at?" Zion asked.

"Somewhere catchung a fucking attitude with people. I don't know what y'all be feeding her 'cause her mouth too god damn smart." Rell ranted.