I woke up and realised, I was still in the bathtub. It has been an hour or two. My skin was all contracted and pale.

I got up and some pieces of paper stuck on my drenched outfit. Did I care? Hell nah.

I walked up to the basin looking at myself. Tragic that someone so sexy has to go through this much. I washed up and changed into comfortable clothes, later plopping down on the bed like a lifeless body.

I wasn't lifeless, but I'll pretend to be. Everything is fine, I know I'll get over, have to be dramatic first.

I slept within minutes, owing to the exhaust after the concert and all that stupid humans made me go through.

The alarm went off at usual 5:45 A.M. and honestly, I was already up. Just waiting for it to ring and I would get up. I was doing my daily routine when there was a knock on my door.

I opened the door emotionlessly. The beauticians, the dressers, like always. I granted them the access to my heavily messed up room which they could care less of.

And if they did then I don't care.

As usual, they dressed me up like a Barbie doll. Straightening my hair, giving a light touch up to my face. They made me wear a black full sleeves top, complimented by a grey pencil skirt.

"Are you ready?" My mom came in. I looked to her and nodded with a ready smile and she smiled back as if nothing ever happened.

We all were escorted to a press conference. I saw Suho sitting on one of the benches.

I wish I could just transform into a bulbasaur and use my hyperbeam on him. What a trick ass bastard!

I went on and sat elegantly on one of the chairs on the stage. So, I am here to witness a trick ass merging with my dad's company with the power of my shares in my work's name!

At least what all is happening in my life is really really funny.

"Today, we announce, the merger of the Korean Broadcasting company with one of the companies in with we see the future of our nation. A roud of applause for-

The chief executive officer of 'The Nation's Voice', Lee Suho," My dad spoke through the mic, standing at the podium.

The oblivious crowd applauded and I did too.

"Also, I am really joyous to announce. The wedding of Mr Suho and my precious daughter, Park Jee."

What in holy molly freaking dancing llama?!

I smiled wide looking at the audience who were clicking pictures of us. I realise why I was sitting beside this filthy motherfucker.

Look into my eyes guys. There are so many people here. Anyone? Anywhere? Who could know me a little. Who has the faintest idea of what is behind this smile. No one? Well then.

I looked towards Suho with the same idiotic fake smile. Hi husband.

As the conference ended and my family members were walking ahead, I pulled Suho by his sleeves to a secluded area.

"What do you think you are doing?" He hissed.

"What I am doing? What's this fucker? We cannot marry! We don't love each other!"

"I do. I love you Jee."

"No you don't."

"Yeah you're right but what can we do? I need this investment!" He frantically replied.

"You mean ruin our lives for a investment?"

"How is it ruining? We would learn to live together. It's better to marry you instead of stranger. And don't worry, I am good at sex," he said with a smirk and went ahead, buttoning his tux.

Yes I want to get laid.

In a fucking grave.

•••

It has been a week and it's my wedding day after. I was never able to converse with Yoongi or anyone relating to him. Slowly, the little hope that shone within me that all this may be real was fading, I was about to face my tragic fate as always.

I sat at my table in front of the window where the night breeze was hailing the light curtains. I could see the full moon and stars twinkling by its side but what took my ultimate admiration was the darkness. The dark that let the moon and stars shine.

I didn't had my Mac or my phone, so I am writing on these compressed sheets.

'And she was impetuous and daring, a little too bold and way too fearless.' I wrote my character, her name was Jee. She was just not me. I can never be her. I can never be Jee. Kim Jee.

Tears filled my eyes as I looked up at my ceiling to stop them from falling down. Why am I crying? Didn't I know this? It still hurts. I miss him... a lot. My lips curved downward as the rain I was forbidding to pour down was wetting my face.

Will he be thinking about me? You need to snap out of your dream Jee- Jerry. I hate my name. Of everything, why Jee?

I quickly stood up from the table and shrouded myself in the bathroom, biting my own hand to stop my sobs. I don't want to cry but I cannot help!

I filled a bucket of water and plunged my face right into it, kneeling on the tiled floor. My sobs suppressed by the volume of the cold fluid. I kept myself in that till I couldn't anymore and retreated causing drops of water fall on my clothes, drenching them.

I sniffled, I wasn't crying anymore. The memory of him hugging me when I was totally struck flashed through my brain and I could feel tears forming again but before they could fall down, I submerged my face again in the waters.

Whom should I curse? No one has been more cruel to me than myself.

Finally after a good few hard slaps by the surface tension of water, I felt myself composed. I took a towel and dried my hair, walking back to my room. The wind was blowing and I saw my papers dancing in the wind.

I caught them but while doing so my hand unintentionally pushed the glass on my table causing it to shatter into pieces.

Ahh shit. Here we go again.

I tried picking up the bigger glass piece with my hand but that just scarred me. You gotta be really stupid.

The door opened and I looked back at Minho. Why was he here? Just get lost!

"What are you doing? Wait- why are you bleeding?" He came running pulling me up and instantly hugging me. What in the holy name of Cheetos?

"Jee, you can't die. You cannot commit suicide!"

I pushed him, "I was just picking the glass piece idiot."

"Oh," his mouth formed a perfect o and that made me smile.

"And you cut yourself?" He raised a brow.

"No, I just wanted to have a pocket in my hand. What do you think stoopid?"

He sighed and left but came back in a second bringing the first aid box. He pulled me by my wrist making me sit on edge of the bed and he sat beside me.

I looked away while he was doing the required.

"I know you don't want this wedding," he said. I remained quiet at that.

"Come on Jee. Till when will you just mutely accept what they put in your way? Literally, till when?" He snapped making me look into his eyes.

"Just stop being a coward like me! Please Jee, live your life!" He requested and honestly I couldn't understand a word. I was so taken aback that I couldn't even joke.

"I hate them-"

"Why do you hate them? They let you do anything you want. You have no reason to hate them!" I interrupted.

"I hate them because they are despicable. All this news, everything, it's all fake. Biased. Politically inclined. Just all pretence! They are cheating their own viewers!" He responded.

I gulped, taking away my hand from his as he was done treating it, "Then why did you never protested? Or say anything?"

He cupped my face and looked straight into my eyes, "Because I am not as talented as you Jerry."

•••