I had been dying to see him one last time.

There had been so many time I spent stuck between sanity and insanity.

Truly there had been so much I wanted to still say to him, so much I wanted to still show him. I had been willing to negotiate with fate to speak to his ghost if that was the only option available for me. And yet... when I heard a voice speak behind me in the foyer of that house I began telling myself it couldn't be. I kept telling myself my mind must have been playing tricks upon me but sure enough as I turned around there he stood smiling at me.

His blue eyes clear in their inspection of me. Shaking like a leaf facing the harsh winds with no shield I shook my head numerous times as I blinked numerous times in the hopes he'd disappear only to see him still there. Dressed in a simple white shirt and denim jeans he pushed himself off the wall he was leaning on. He moved towards us only to have me take a step back in fear clutching David tighter to my chest. Seeing the action he raised his hands to show he meant me no harm.

But I was no fool, I've seen enough horror movies to know the outcome and I refused to believe he was real, "No, no, no... y-you're no –"

"Yes I am... I-I know you're probably freaking out right now," he mumbled moving tentatively towards me. When his gaze dropped down to the being in my arms his smile widened despite the fact I was still moving away from him.

"I know I have a lot of explaining to do but please stop running from me."

"YOU. ARE. DEAD," I stressed watching him past the tears gathering in my eyes as I fought to remain steadfast in my denial. Releasing a sigh he paused momentarily biting his bottom lip as he took me in and just when I thought the strange torment my mind was putting me through would come to an end he marched over to me. Feeling my eyes widen I tried to create as much distance between us only to have him trap me in a corner where I couldn't hide.

"No..." I whimpered closing my eyes tightly no longer able to stomach seeing the inevitable harm to come my way only to feel fingertips tracing my cheek gently.

"If I wasn't real, then explain why I can touch you, Liyah?"

Despite how much I didn't want to I moved my face closer involuntarily wanting more of the touch I had gone so long without.

"Fuck, I've missed you so much," he whispered wiping my tears. The gesture simultaneously sewed the remnants of my heart back together to see past my disbelief that this was real. I opened my eyes to find him staring down at me. Swallowing down the anxiety I reached up gasping lightly at the feel of his skin to move it across his stubble, "I'm here, I'm really here," he assured and as the realization dawned upon me that he was really here, past the shock was a rage that turned the tender caress upon his cheek to a harsh slap that had his head whipping to the side from the impact of the hit.

"You bastard! YOU'VE BEEN ALIVE THIS WHOOOOOLE TIME!" I screamed smacking his chest numerous times till he grabbed my hand prohibiting any more attacks from being administered upon his body.

Even though his grip was tight I kept yanking it in the hopes he'd release it. Instead he tightened his grip to the point I groaned sucking my teeth in annoyance of his strength surpassing mine such that I resorted to looking away from his face to pout at the floor at all the pain I went through believing he was gone. "You have every right to be mad, Liy –"

"You're damn right," I quipped clenching my jaw tightly. He placed my hand that he was still holding hostage against his chest where I could feel his pulse past the fabric of his shirt. I had been convinced I would never hear it again and the anger inside returned into the safety of the shadows as my features grew soft at the warmth emanating off his body.

"I'll explain everything. I know that this is a lot but I promise if you give me a chance to tell you all the answers you need you won't regret it," he vowed tugging my hand gently to get my body out of the corner where I had used the wall to support my body weight.

Looking up at him as his eyes bore down on mine I hated to admit that he was right. In as much as I was angry and confused I needed him to explain why he put his family through such emotional turmoil.

"Fine," I agreed pulling my hand out of his grasp to walk past him wearing a serious expression as I briskly walked into the living room. Taking a seat I waited expectantly for the man to join us and when he made a move to occupy the seat next to me I refused telling him to take a seat on the other chair across from me.

"You're denying me my right to touch you, now?" he scoffed crossing his arms in an attempt to be defiant.

"I'm doing my best not to kill you right now. If you sit anywhere near me I can't promise not to smack you as you tell me everything," I responded watching his brow quirk in amusement, triggering a slight rise in my temperature from the look he was giving me.

Accepting my request he occupied a seat across from us and ran a hand through his hair that had grown a bit longer. We sat in silence for a moment or so before he finally spoke up revealing the hidden pages embedded in our story that had me leaning forward to grasp each word he said, "I'll never forget the time we spent that night together at the inn..." he blushed looking up expectantly at me.

Biting the inside of my cheeks to avoid smiling I cleared my throat trying to feign annoyance when what I felt was nowhere close to that emotion, "Nicky, come on."

"I promise that I'm not saying that to just waste time. The reason why I'm mentioning it is because it was the time I truly felt vulnerable but at the same time frustrated at the way my life turned out. I had been completely content with living that life on my own at first but coming across you a part of me was far to selfish to allow anyone else to have you... I couldn't allow the thought of us just passing each other like ships in the night be simply that," he said voice growing softer to the point each syllable felt like a caress upon my flesh as he looked into my eyes. "I never did like the shit my mother went through of having to constantly worry about my father and even though you said you were willing to deal with all the hardships, honestly I couldn't deal with the thought of you having to suffer especially with a little one involved," he admitted dropping his gaze once more to David who was oblivious to what was going on. Returning my gaze back to his father I nodded for him to continue.

Reaching up to pinch the bridge of his nose I took immediate notice of the fact he refused to look at my face, "When I finally had a meeting with Lucien and Damian a lot changed for me. I had always felt that since Sonny had done so much for me it was only fair I remain in the family. But knowing I didn't owe shit to him or anyone else for that matter I took it as a sign to make a change... so I struck a deal with them. I give them Sonny dead or alive and they help me orchestrate the one way I could truly be able to leave that life once and for all," he explained.

As soon as he said it, it all began to make sense such that when I said, "Death," his smile widened at the fact I had figured it out.

When we had spoken at the inn he had explained that the only way one can ever get out of the life of being in the mafia was in a coffin. Needless to say I had been disappointed at the fact it seemed his freedom was restricted.

"Why didn't you tell me all this before?" I asked growing angry at the fact he had put me and his family deliberately through grief.

He got out of his seat coming to kneel before me to place his hands on either side of my waist when he saw the hurt flash before my eyes. "It wasn't my intention to put you or anyone else through that but in order to ensure this worked I had to get you to truly believe I was gone... The bosses had to be able to see just how authentic the pain you and everyone else showed to stop paying any attention to you whatsoever," he explained squeezing my sides gently.

In as much as I was upset I couldn't escape the fact it made sense. Truth is I can't exactly guarantee whether or not I would've been able to put up a believable performance of a grieving woman if I had known he was actually alive. So I remained silent unwilling to rebut his explanation.

"I want to be able to give you a life where you never have to stress over whether we'll get to see another day or not and whether we'll make it to see our son grow up. And...." he paused nibbling on his lip growing nervous under my gaze, "I am so sorry for putting you and our son through that. But I'd much rather have you pissed at me than have you grow to resent me one day for robbing you of your peace."

Reaching up to touch his cheek he flinched moving back from my hand in horror.

"I'm not going to slap you again, you idiot," I mumbled, the sight of me finally cracking a smile had him leaning forward invading my space, "You have a lot of making up to do," I warned only to see a smirk appear on his face, it wasn't the reaction I was looking for.

"I don't mind, now..." he grinned placing his attention on the child in my arms, "can I finally meet my son?"