Personal Journal – Subject-3 – entry 3

The camera turns on to frame the girl sitting in the small bedroom. The bed, she is sitting on, isn't made and the white sheet is pulled back showing the indent of where she last slept. The recorder date stamp shows that it is the second day, one day since the first two recordings, and the time is 5.32pm.

Her hair is wet and she looks relaxed. She's wearing a satin wrap around dressing gown that is gapping widely at the neck to show nothing but skin. Her legs are folded up and crossed over, so that her heels are on the lip of the bed and her arms are wrapped around them. The pose looks sexy but at the same time innocent and childlike.

She looks at the camera with wide eyes and without saying anything.

"I expected to be a little disappointed," she shrugs, "I've been waiting for this day for so long, dreaming of it, planning it in my head, and fantasizing about us together like that. So, naturally I didn't think it would exceed my expectations."

She looked at the door then back at the camera.

"This is harder than I thought," she finally whispers, "I'm not sure if it felt that good because it's sex, and I've waited so long for it, or if it's because it's him. I didn't expect he'd be that good at it. I know his history and the girls who he's been with before. They didn't stick around for long. I assumed that was because he wasn't that satisfying in bed."

"And now I'm struggling to keep my pretense," she looks down as she unfolds her knees and places her feet on the floor, "He employed innocent, naïve Paige and doesn't expect her to come out of her shell until at least day four. He wants the submissive girl to unfold like a flower."

"I'm not sure I can do that," she looks directly at the camera, "I am impatient. I want everything now. I don't want to wait for his timetable."

"Which leaves me with a decision to make," she frowns, "Either I can stick to the original plan and lull him into believing he has seduced the pure child that he wants me to be, or I can push him sideways now. However, if I do that, if I jolt him off his axis and force him to deviate from his schedule, then I run the risk that he'll become suspicious of me. It might be enough for him to open his eyes and see the real me. He might even work out who I really am."

"But that was always a risk," she shakes her head slowly, "Sooner or later he's going to uncover that and realize that I'm not who he thinks I am. And that's the real objective of this plan. I need to have him too far gone to care about what I've done to get here."

"It's a calculated risk," she nods, "But given he lost control yesterday and yet managed to contain himself this afternoon, if I leave it too much longer, he might become desensitized to me. He might regain his professional approach and become as analytical as he intended to be."

"I stand no chance of success if that happens," she frowns, "It would be better to take the bull by the horns now and capitalize on his loss of composure than to sit back, adhere to the plan, and wait until he has thoroughly corrupted his Subject-3 before I make him besotted by his own creation."

"The question is, thus, is he ready to fall?" she smiles, "Is it time to turn sexual attraction into emotional attachment?"

She inhales and exhales.

"Opps, that was a spoiler," she grimaces, "A confession and the reason why I'm here. I'm not here for your dissertation, Johnathan, I'm here for you."

She glances at the door then pulls her eyes back to the camera.

"And that is the crux of my pet project," she smiles at the camera, "Which brings me to the end of my self-reflection, Johnathan. If you are watching this then at least you know my intentions going into this. Sooner or later you're going to twig as to what I'm doing and then you'll either hate me for my deception or forgive me for my desperation. But I have no control over that decision."

"So, maybe it's time to take the drivers seat while I still have the ball in my court," her forehead wrinkles as her eyes wince and her smile turns downwards, "With the conclusion out of my control, the only thing I have left is the here and now. I can't let this opportunity go, and if it proves to be the wrong choice then at least I will have no regrets. I promised to play this game to win."