After lots of trying digging and finding absolutely no dirt on Darren I gave up. The day was here, I was back home after a long day of work and he was in Nice.

He sent me a text saying he'll be there to pick me up at 7. I had an hour to get dressed, not to sound creepy but I researched about the restaurant we were going to go to before hand.

In my effort to look effortlessly elegant, my wardrobe sat as a messy pile on the bed. I ultimately settled for a dress and got done with hair and makeup.

I told Harriet and Julia that Darren was on his way to come get me for our first ever date. Both of them were so excited it made me nervous but happy.

I headed down and decided to wait outside the apartment for him, at sharp seven a sleek car pulled up in front of me.

"Darren has strong work ethics, so punctual!" I greeted, well teased him getting into the car.

"Hi Tara, thanks for asking I had a good day." He rolled his eyes.

"Oops."

"So how's your day been?" He asked focusing on the road again.

"It's been good! A hectic work week but I'm so glad it's Friday at last. How about you?"

"Tiring, but fun nonetheless. I learnt something about you." He smiled.

It wasn't a normal smile, it was something rather devilish. When I kept pestering him about what it was, he wouldn't tell me. It's like he was trying to spite me.

We reached the restaurant, it was quite packed. The host walked us to our table and seated us. It was on the rooftop, under the clear sky.

I was in awe, the moon glistening on the water, the clear skies and the ambience of the restaurant was all too good to soak in at once.

"I'm guessing you like the place?" He looked at me nervously.

"Liked? I love it! This is beautiful." I beamed.

While waiting for the food to arrive we talked, and catches up about life after highschool. He told me about his acceptance into a prestigious university in the US and how he emigrated there.

"Where did you go? One day I came home for the break and there was no trace of Tara."

"I actually went away to Beijing and didn't come back until my job brought me back to Singapore."

"Why Beijing out of all the places?" He frowned.

"First of all it's a very cool city and I needed an escape." I muttered.

"Escape?"

"From you! All you did was bully me! I couldn't stand you if only I had waited to know you were flying across the world for school." I laughed.

"Wait my words affected you that bad?"

"It's not just words Darren, I couldn't stand how you were good at everything."

"I want to tell you something, don't laugh!"

"No promises, but go on." I smiled thanking the waitress who brought us our entrée.

"I was very jealous of you." He sighed picking up a fork.

"Jealous?" I looked at him putting the cutlery aside.

"You were so smart! It was becoming impossible for me to just effortlessly get away with half assing studies."

"I had to study twice as hard to compete with you!"

"I was juggling so much and I could not stand being second best in a field!"

"So you resorted to name calling and teasing me?"

"Yes, I'm not proud of it and I'm very sorry."

I don't know what got into me, but I decided to say what was on my mind anyway.

"Look, you're a nice guy but if you've got me here to like try and wash away guilt for bullying me I don't have time for your pity."

"You got it all wrong! Those days are far gone and I didn't get you out for dinner out of pity." He smirked.

"Oh my gosh-" I burst into peels of laughter.

"What? Why are you laughing?" He looked baffled.

"So smooth, I'm wondering how much practice you've got."

The rest of dinner continued pretty well, chatting, occasionally getting distracted by our surroundings and then starting all over again. It wasn't too late by the time we were done with dinner.

"Gelato and a walk on the beach?" I asked him.

"Right now?"

"Are you afraid of the dark?" I teased him.

"No, not one bit. Lead the way!" He held the door open for me.

I got us both a scoop of gelato each and we started our walk on the pier, he tried to make me laugh and succeeded at it. We walked around until my feet started getting numb.

The drive back was awfully quiet, I had a good time with him. But there was something in the back of my mind that just didn't let me have as much of fun.

Was I moving too fast? Was I actually not ready for all of this to happen just yet? Was I rushing?

"Thanks for tonight, I had fun." I smiled slipping out of the car.

"Me too. See you later!" He waved before driving away.

I walked into the apartment and sat on the sofa, who was I kidding? This had been a good outing but I didn't feel anything.

It was like catching up with an old friend and just having a good time. I couldn't help but compare it to team dinner with Charles.

Sure the environment was completely different but there was a warmth I felt around him, and being away from him only made me crave it more.

My purse buzzed, probably a text I thought digging through my bag for it. I felt something like a strap, when I pulled it out, I kind of wished I never did.

It was my Lanyard from Monza, why today out of all days? I grumbled stuffing it back in. I don't want to be crushed by reliving all of it, ever again.

😽

😘

I took a shower and crawled into bed, I just couldn't seem to find a comfortable position to sleep in. I did not want to be flooded with memories.

But seeing that paddock pass again just showed me how cracked my armour was.

He never came back looking for you, he's probably railing some hot woman while you cry about how much you miss him. Quit being an idiot.