Seungwon takes a seat on the sofa next to me as I try to process what just happened. He pats my back gently trying to calm me down as I take deep breath. 

"He'll come around" he says gently

I nod as I feel the tears beginning to roll down my face. The guilt begins to get to me and Seungwon notices my tears and runs to grab tissues. After handing me the tissues he sits down next to me and consoles me in a mature way.

"I knew that you were seeing someone, I just didn't know who it was"

I look up at him and see him smiling proudly. 

"Hawon is just mistaken about his feeling for you. You're the only family we have so he doesn't know how differentiate the love he feels for you as familiarity or as a woman"

I nod my head understanding. 

"I'm sorry for keeping this from you guys" I say crying as I pat his hand

"We're sorry for not noticing that you were having a hard time" he replies tearing up again

I shake my head harshly and say "No it's my fault"

"It's not your fault" he assures me "you only did what you thought would be best for us and I know when Hawon calms down he'll think the same."

"Are you sure?" I ask the tears slowly coming to a stop 

"Yes, I'm sure!" he replies smiling widely "and I'm glad that you found someone who could help you get out of the hole you've been stuck in for so many years" 

"Your're all grown up huh" I say wiping my face

He laughs and pushes me off the sofa jokingly then proceeding to run away. I hear 

That night after Seungwon and I finished talking we went to our rooms and a few moments later Hawon walked in from behind the door. We were both unaware of the fact that Hawon had left for a few seconds and then came back only a moment later to hear the whole conversation we both had. We never mentioned what had happened between us for the next few days. Days turned to weeks, and weeks turned to months as everything began to settle down slowly. 

Our company had decided that with all the rumors spread around our group after the Minho incident, the best thing would be to have a comeback and a strong one at that. During the time we were practicing together to release an album Hawon and I slowly began to feel normal again. 

5 Months Later

Over the course of 5 months My friend and I earned the trust of each other again and began to feel comfortable again. Although it felt as if we met for the first time again, there was no awkwardness between us old friends. Seungwon was always with us and we never had the need to bring back the topic of what had gone on between us 5 months ago. We became busy with all the activities and I had completely forgotten the promise I had made with Minho. Months passed by in a flurry before I realized that I had promised Minho to get over my fear and return back to him. My heart suddenly begins to ache as I remember our short moments together and long to be able to spend more time with him. This though leads me to have a sudden idea. In a few weeks we are having the a concert in one of the biggest venues in Korea. I have been wanting to do something special for our fans, and there would be nothing more marvelous then for them to see me dancing on stage again. Many fans had sent in petitions to ask me to dance again at our concert but I never had the courage too. I decide that there's no better time then to practice now and completely fight against myself and perform on that stage. Afraid of what the boys' reaction will be I go to them first.

I walk to the practice room to find Hawon and Seungwon who are tuning their instruments and I tell them my daring idea.

"What do you think?" I say after organizing my thoughts with them 

"It's amazing that you're willing to even do this" Hawon says after a moment of silence 

"I'm glad you think that way" I say smiling gently 

I'm happy to see that he's becoming himself again and that he isn't angry about the fact that I kept such a painful secret from him. My excuse is that I was afraid of them being worried about and they wouldn't be able to focus, but I should've known that if they can follow me to a different country without a plan then they definitely have the courage to be able to handle something like this. 

I realize that if during this concert I am able to dance without any problem in front of the thousands of people that will be there I will have officially been cured of my fear. The same person continues to come to mind and I find myself thinking of Minho again. He had helped me recognize my fear and what I could do about it. We had spent such a busy 5 months that I hadn't been focusing on my dancing at all. 

I make a solid decision in the moment. I am going to dance my fear away at this concert and then go straight to Minho. Although guilt washes over me with how Hawon reacted last time, I know that I will be second guessing my decision. In the moment I am just happy knowing that there is someone out there who is waiting for me, and I need to go to him as fast as I can.